Am I an INFP troll?

Random extra shit post


Fictional families and characters that I feel might give an idea, not exact picture:

Malcolm in the middle:
Louis - Mother
Hal - Stepdad
Craig - My dad
Sister 1 - Francis, but no rebel tendencies/meddling
Sister 2 - Malcolm/Reese mix
Sister 3 - Reese/Dewey mix
Me: Malcolm/Dewey mix
Stepbrother - Jaimie ( )

Letter dichotomies are really not that important. That is, after you've taken the test a couple of times, it's my personal opinion that you should largely forget about "__% N" and whatnot. My advice: look into cognitive functions. As you get older, you'll naturally become more balanced and less polarized, which is a good thing, according to cognitive theory.

Lists of behaviors won't help us much in ascertaining your type because A) it's about cognition, not behavior (behaviors can mean anything and generally aren't exclusive to certain types), and B) you can only list certain behaviors of which you're aware and wish to acknowledge, and not every single behavior you exhibit habitually and/or all of the time. Does that make sense?

Anyway, what are you asking, really? You know you're an INFP--you said it at the beginning of your post. I feel like you're worrying too much about comparing yourself too much to some B.S. INFP stereotype that none of us really fit rather than just being yourself. But if you seriously want to look into whether or not you're an INFP, check your thought processes and why you ultimately do the things you do, and focus less on what you do.

- Do I belong anywhere really?

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I never really felt like i had fit into my family. If you feel like every other family is like the Brady Bunch or the family from Leave it to Beaver, then your ill informed. Each family has their skeletons, and each person in each family has their own flaws. We all take it out on our family because of their presence. I fell like the glue in the family, certainly when it comes to my brothers.

- Does I seem like an INFP?

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You very well could be, there are times when i myself act as if anything but. I have noticed when i am around others who are more introverted, i become more of an extrovert. I can decisive when when others are not. I can think logically and rationally when i have to, but doing all of it does wear me down in certain respects. Humans are adaptive and can make temporary changes when faced with particular scenarios.

- What/who am I? (mostly meant in jest)

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You are whatever you think you are. An imaginative mind has no limit.

- Does this sound like legit feelings or forced logic, something in the middle?
- Anything really?

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Not to sure but i could be more relevant based on how you actually react to such stimuli.

@under skies I thank you for sharing your insights. This was exactly what I needed. The questions and suggestion combo.
I am aware that the letters are just guidelines and that there's so much more to human beings, but it adds a whole new perspective for me. It had never seriously occurred to me that humans would/could be driven by something that didn't primarily involve feelings in some kind of fashion. I had a really hard time believing that my little sister didn't pull all that crap she pulled, because she wanted to punish me/my mom or something similar. That people by default might do things without thinking about the interpersonal relations and how it will affect them. There's something soothing about knowing this. I'd started blaming myself so much for not being able to communicate my needs until I got introduced to this by a acquaintance. You are right, I said I was a INFP. I feel like one too, it's just a new concept to judge myself trying to define who I am. I've been asked/told to be someone that didn't have anything to do with me most of my life... so the feeling is to put it mildly; somewhat upsetting... but I will take your words with me

@Absurdist: I know that every family has its drama. I know that every family member carries their own cross. I just wish they would stop making it mine to bear as well. I actually don't feel the need to see most of my family. It's mainly guilt or a feeling of "I have to" that makes me visit... the only persons in my family I really like being with is my 3rd sister and her family. I love her kids. I love doing stuff with them and doing stuff for them. They get really excited about me taking an interest in them. I can see in their immediate behavior that they enjoy and appreciate the games I come up with and it's not that I don't like them be in charge. Heck no! I usually let them get all their imaginary flow out. Adults often seem to take it for granted or even take a disliking to this somehow. Not the part where I play with the kids, they don't really care about that part, but that I have this sort of playful/imaginative take to most things.

I can relate to the glue thing. That is a feeling I've had many times. I just got sort of sad when I confronted my mother with some of these feelings recently and I realized that people didn't even remember me as that. Usually they have no idea if I was there or not. I sit there and listen to them telling about each other. "Remember when you did this... and you did that". It bores me. I know these stories by heart now. When they occasionally mention me it goes something like this "you were always so cheerful, sweet and helpful!". I feel like giving a sharp piercing comment like "Oh yeah, I was, you're right. Good thing I went to you so you could enforce me not to feel the urge to be sad, angry and spiteful!", but I usually don't. I'm strong for people who can't be strong for themselves... or play dead when people need a punching bag. XD

Femmefatale said:

@under skies I thank you for sharing your insights. This was exactly what I needed. The questions and suggestion combo.
I am aware that the letters are just guidelines and that there's so much more to human beings, but it adds a whole new perspective for me. It had never seriously occurred to me that humans would/could be driven by something that didn't primarily involve feelings in some kind of fashion. I had a really hard time believing that my little sister didn't pull all that crap she pulled, because she wanted to punish me/my mom or something similar. That people by default might do things without thinking about the interpersonal relations and how it will affect them. There's something soothing about knowing this. I'd started blaming myself so much for not being able to communicate my needs until I got introduced to this by a acquaintance. You are right, I said I was a INFP. I feel like one too, it's just a new concept to judge myself trying to define who I am. I've been asked/told to be someone that didn't have anything to do with me most of my life... so the feeling is to put it mildly; somewhat upsetting... but I will take your words with me

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The part I bolded really resonates with me. I think a lot of us (and not just INFPs) tend to interpret others' actions through our own motivations, and that sort of "enlightenment" P) is precisely why I find MBTI so fascinating (and useful!).

This bit at the end about having been asked to be someone you aren't your entire life yet suddenly being able to define yourself as who you actually may be (if I am interpreting you correctly--and if I am not, please do feel free to correct me, because I would like to understand), why do you find that upsetting? If anything, I would think one would find it suddenly liberating--to realize that there really are all these different modes of thinking, and just because you don't necessarily fit into one doesn't mean you don't fit into any or that there is something inherently wrong with you. But, then again, that's just me.

It's upsetting, because I don't know how to do that. Most of the feelings I feel towards my fellow kin "feels" completely true and pure. But then I get such feelings as I would sacrifice myself to save any other human being. I don't mean in a "Go down there and do something", but in a "I'll do it if you ask me to" kind of way. It's like a compulsion. I can't stand conflicts where there's an obvious winner and loser. No matter how "imbecilic" or "unsympathetic" the weak one is. I always throw myself between the two and try to protect the "loser". The loser usually walk away smiling, someone else took the bashing for them. I stand there feeling dumb, because now I'm taking all the punches for something I don't sympathize with. In fact I never said to the "winner" that I did, I just tried to put myself in the "losers" place and understand why he had such foul notions about other human beings/animal cruelty/you name it. I never tried how it is to REALLY have my own personal space. I shared a bedroom with my little sister til I was 9 or 10.

RL example to explain the dynamics:
We got a sort of bunkbed thingy, but not really because there was only an upper bunk. Both me an my little sister wanted to sleep there. My mother didn't want to settle it. So we ended up sharing. My little sister kicks and pushes in her sleep so I ended up giving in. I got told that we were supposed to swap occasionally, but the grown ups never told us when. I asked on several turns if I could have a go now, but my little sister refused. She even had the nerve to claim that no such deal had ever existed. I tried appealing to my mother and father for taking a stand, but they never did. It was always "You have to figure it out for yourselves", but there was no reasoning with my sister. If you got into a fight with her. You got yelled at. No excuses. You were the big one. There's 1 year between us.

I got my own room for the first time when I was 10, but it was always me getting kicked out when the grownups was/needed having an argument. I got moved around as seen fit to accommodate others need. Guests or people who had the notion they wanted the room I was residing in. I had 2-3 rooms during the 1½ years period. Then we moved again. House for the 2nd time, school for the 2nd time as well. At this time I was already unable to claim what was mine. I had on several occasions been asked to give up my saved allowance, because we didn't get it in hand, but had to ask for it. I didn't like asking. I felt like it was begging for something that I had earned and also every time I did ask the answer was usually "can you wait?", "I will get back to you" or "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!". So asking was generally an embarrassing and negative thing for me. Sometimes I promised to help even more if I could just get it now. Pleaded if she couldn't just give it to me at a certain day during the week. Every week. This usually resulted in me being scolded again.

Anyway... long story short. The same pattern repeats itself over and over. I tell my mother at age 13 that I don't want to exist anymore. She reacts with anger and blame. "How can you say that to me?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" I by now have gotten coded into my system that there's no reasoning with this. I start to withdraw my true feelings and self and apologize for being such a horrible child. "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, please forgive me"... She never follows up on it. Tons of hardships have come and gone. If it isn't 1 thing it's the other. Dead grandparents, sick dads, stepbrother(s) with learning disabilities, psycho little sisters that rule the whole household and threatens to burn/kill/beat/hurt us and if that doesn't work then herself if she doesn't get a new pair of Baby Phat pants at the price of atleast 100 dollars. I walk around in jeans that has been passed down from my big sisters. My stepdads mothers youth (she's 70) and other whatever other thing that doesn't cost that much money. I've crawled inside the computerverse... my only refugee. I only feel when I'm on the computer with my own little world. They keep forcing me to be social with them, but they still treat me like I'm their doormat. They tease me. Their way of showing they care about me. Funny that they know me so well after 14-16 years of life. I physically attacked by my sister on several occasions. End up getting shipped off to my eldest sister. You know the supermarket story. I end up fleeing from my family entirely. It hurts too much to be around them. They ask me how I am and expect me to smile and say fine. When I don't they get annoyed and call me unreasonable. Try to reason with someone who gets bored by your reasons. I already know your reasons! I've known them for 1, 5, 10, 20 years. Do they tell me to explain or apologize? No, there are nothing but reasoning! :')

My mother when upset with me yells stuff like "YOU DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS!" and"YOU ONLY (want to) SEE AND HEAR YOURSELF". I try to see everyone around me all the time. I do special things for them. I buy personal gifts that resembles who they are. Those gifts are the best gifts people ever gave me. They were few, but significant. Not what they scribbled down in a hurry to accommodate the X-mas commodities. I don't have money for Louis Vouton or Lola Ramona shoes anyway... not even for myself

Every time I'm happy and show strong happy emotions, my ENTJ and ESTP sister always feel the need(?) to play the Cinderella game. I get excited about my dad actually giving me something I asked for this christmas, something I wanted, listened to my request. He did it in the same half-assed sort of way as he and my mother always did and do, but still, improvement. The greeting card reads "To everyone, but MOSTLY for Femmefatale". My ENTJ sister started looking sour, my ESTP sister to my pleasure didn't seem to care

Later I was being cheery about the present. It was our Commodore 64. The first gaming platform I ever played on. Where one of my big passions started. Neither my ENTJ or ESTP sister had openly expressed interest in this old machine for years. Anyhow, sidetracked again... I was being cheery and talking about how excited I was to play it and looking carefully through all the CDs. I'm mostly talking to myself. I don't know why she did it... if it was because she felt something had been passed her by or that I was gloating or something, but my ENTJ sister stopped me in my happy nerd rant to say this in a very sharp tone "Remember, it's not YOURS, it's OURS!". I was so shocked at what had just transpired... all happiness was sucked out of me. I started seeing the usually scenarios when I had to share my stuff with my siblings. My little sister would break it, because she didn't care for it. My ENTJ sister would never return it to me, but forget that it was ever mine. I'm not being melodramatic... this is what happens. The commodore was set up for the 2-3 days we spend at my dads. It was only me and my dad who played on it really. My little sister was the first one to play on it, she played for 20 minutes and didn't find interest in it. Then she slammed the controller down on the console. The whole machine shaked and cracked (18 years old or something). It survived.

Later on during the holidays my little sisters reaction came (might not have anything to do with me.. but I think her choice of action was a little too much directed at me). It was at my mother's. She sat down before me, my stepdad and my mom and started claiming that she had ADD. I have been diagnosed with ADD by a psychiatrist. She had diagnosed herself with it. She started telling another one of her see through story about some imaginary girl and how she had cared very deeply that the girl was so socially awkward. How she wanted to befriend her, but couldn't get herself to do it because she was so disgusting. I couldn't believe my ears. I looked with disbelief at my mother and my stepdad they were sending me "Just let her speak and smile"-looks. She continued telling her distorted story about how she thought this and that and bla bla bla bla. I tried to be patient, let her speak and wait for the right moment. I asked into it, she deflected and changed course. She admit already in the beginning what her motive was. She could maybe get some sort off economical compensation for this newly self-discovered disability. Old melody, new lyrics tbh. All this isn't what really ticked me off though. This is:

a) My mother had refused to listen to me explaining to her that I had ADD all christmas, she had come up with all sorts of excuses and tasks and also attacking me for not caring about her obligations to others once again. She also told me that she didn't believe that I was acting this way because I had just broken up with my sexually/emotionally abusive (and a couple of times) violent ISTP (confirmed) boyfriend or because I hadn't been able to collect myself to do my 2 finals in my first term of IT studies. No, it had to be my medication. Not those other things. I didn't sleep at night! (Never did) I did read lots and lots of books (Never did).. tons of excuses. Now she was sitting there smiling, knowing that my little sister was openly lying. If that is not the truth, then she is.. beyond reasoning and I just need to get her out of my life as fast as I can.

b) My little sister was lecturing me on how she had teached herself how to control her ADD and not to be a blabbermouth - implying that I was one. (I am)

c) I have a track record of pairing up with/befriending "misfits" and people who dropout... I don't just pity them from afar. She was openly mocking me.

I could mention a lot more of these dynamics going on within and outside the household... but I guess this post is already unfathomable. I realize writing these things that my ESTP sister might be less fortunate than I already think her to be.. because I can't see no other reason my mom would keep refusing me and praising her (and supporting her financially, do her papers, make me and my other siblings do her papers etc.etc.etc.) when she's being such a lying, manipulative, unpleasant, selfish <censored> to be frank... and it has been a continuing thing for over 10 years now.

There were 20 other stories I could tell you that happened during this christmas... many positive as well. This was the best Christmas I've had since I was little. I realize that most of these things make me seem like a raving lunatic... At least that's how you feel when you get told you are wrong all the time....

[EDIT]
I'm such a brat XD
Your signature is a delight. I can relate

under skies said:

The part I bolded really resonates with me. I think a lot of us (and not just INFPs) tend to interpret others' actions through our own motivations, and that sort of "enlightenment" P) is precisely why I find MBTI so fascinating (and useful!).

This bit at the end about having been asked to be someone you aren't your entire life yet suddenly being able to define yourself as who you actually may be (if I am interpreting you correctly--and if I am not, please do feel free to correct me, because I would like to understand), why do you find that upsetting? If anything, I would think one would find it suddenly liberating--to realize that there really are all these different modes of thinking, and just because you don't necessarily fit into one doesn't mean you don't fit into any or that there is something inherently wrong with you. But, then again, that's just me.

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under skies said:

Letter dichotomies are really not that important. That is, after you've taken the test a couple of times, it's my personal opinion that you should largely forget about "__% N" and whatnot. My advice: look into cognitive functions. As you get older, you'll naturally become more balanced and less polarized, which is a good thing, according to cognitive theory.

Click to expand...

I agree with this. I've become very balanced over the years.

- Naturally, I'm introverted, but I'm also outgoing, social and chatty with people in public. I need to be quiet afterwards, that's all. I'm no longer shy or reserved.

- My S and my N were very close (I dubbed myself an ISFP for a long time, actually), but as you said, percentages don't really mean anything. I do show more N than S, though, but I am beginning to be more aware of my environment and take in information through it. I'm always in my head, though, so I've been trying to balance this and be able to do both.

- I'm a strong feeler, but I also think about things very logically and I want to check my facts first. I listen to what my heart has to say, then I see what my head has to say about it, and then I go from there. Granted, T/F is more about objectivity/subjectivity, and in that case, I'll always be subjective.

- Okay, I'm not balanced in the J/P department. Not as much as I would like to be. I am organised. Everything I own has its certain place. I do make schedules, but I never end up following them. I'd rather be spontaneous and play things by ear. I also wish I would plan more regarding my future instead of just concerning myself with the next few weeks/months. I think it would help a lot if I did develop my J side more.

CrackerstheGoat said:

- Okay, I'm not balanced in the J/P department. Not as much as I would like to be. I am organised. Everything I own has its certain place. I do make schedules, but I never end up following them. I'd rather be spontaneous and play things by ear. I also wish I would plan more regarding my future instead of just concerning myself with the next few weeks/months. I think it would help a lot if I did develop my J side more.

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Ah, I'm the exact same way! I tend to be so organized in some things that matter to me, like my books and stuff - but when it comes down to everything else, I'm chaotic as hell ! :crazy:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahahhaa

Coolest post ever, seriously. Congrats.

Trololo?

Souled In said:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahahhaa

Coolest post ever, seriously. Congrats.

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under skies said:

The part I bolded really resonates with me. I think a lot of us (and not just INFPs) tend to interpret others' actions through our own motivations, and that sort of "enlightenment" P) is precisely why I find MBTI so fascinating (and useful!).

This bit at the end about having been asked to be someone you aren't your entire life yet suddenly being able to define yourself as who you actually may be (if I am interpreting you correctly--and if I am not, please do feel free to correct me, because I would like to understand), why do you find that upsetting? If anything, I would think one would find it suddenly liberating--to realize that there really are all these different modes of thinking, and just because you don't necessarily fit into one doesn't mean you don't fit into any or that there is something inherently wrong with you. But, then again, that's just me.

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I read minds. $5 minimum charge. No refunds.

That's the only way "we" can become millionaires in this god forsaken world. Except if we become some XXTJ trophy wife/husband So screw ethics for once and why the hell not?

refugee said:

I read minds. $5 minimum charge. No refunds.

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