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Discussion Starter #1
I am tentatively a XXFJ and am trying to figure out what I am and want to focus in on the first letter first. I have never taken the official test but several tests online and they usually rate me barely extrovert or barely introvert. Over the past 10 years I have tested literally every one of the personality types except I have never been a P or a T. sometimes I am "slightly" F or Slightly J but they have always been the constants.
The following statements are very true about me. I would love to know what it says to you:

I can talk your ear off on just about anything. I love discussions.
I like to solve problems with others (two heads are better than one.)
I hate working in groups because I tend to end up doing all the work. I like clear lines of authority and exactly what job I am responsible for.
I like the written word over the spoken word.
I often find myself talking to myself or in public (grocery lists etc)
I often find myself believing if you want something done right do it yourself.
I don't trust others very much when it comes to being there for me emotionally. It takes a while to earn my trust. I have difficulty crying or showing weakness in front of others.
I tend to talk before I think, talk more than I listen (working on that) tend to divulge too much personal information at times
I greatly value my alone time.
If I am honest I don't like people very much at times, they can drain me and sometimes make my anxiety worse.
I like to be social on the weekends, when time isn't as big of a factor and I am relaxed.
I really like my personal space. I was raised without a lot of physical affection so hugs and such can feel awkward.
I avoid conflicts like the plague.
I have a mild case of Agoraphobia in that crowds make me feel claustrophobic
I definitely need to rest between social interactions.
My environment is crucial to my behavior. In a casual setting I am more extroverted, Formality makes me more introverted.
my environment is crucial to my emotions and happiness and am very sensitive to environments (like a social venue I am very social, a library I am more of a loner) .
I can easily strike up conversations with strangers.
I find deep friendships difficult. I have lots of acquaintances and casual friends.
I enjoy many introverted hobbies but also a few extroverted ones.
I love being the center of attention. I am a born performer.
I can zone out easily if too much is going on around me.
I get excited very easy and others might describe me as being bubbly.
I tend to be more task oriented than people oriented.
If I am alone for too long I get cabin fever.
Some times I feel like I am too needy (need help figuring stuff out, value others' opinions greatly, ask for confirmation on stuff to find out if I am really right or really know what I am talking about (like this issue for example, lol)
I really enjoy seeing my therapist and working out my issues.
I think my worst character trait is self absorption.
I wish I cared about people more and put them first more often.
When under extreme stress I tend to isolate.
When I am happier in my personal life, I tend to be more social.
I enjoy get togethers, potlucks, game nights, and other social interactions where people get to know each other better. I like structured social activities better than unstructured. (but that could be my Judging aspect showing) I feel more comfortable and in control when I am the host.
I can keep a secret if someone specifically asks me to but in general I find it extremely hard. I tend to give people christmas and birthday gifts in advance, but that could also have to do with not really caring about the exact day.
So what do you guys think?
 
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Sounds like extraversion. Remember that it's not a one-or-the-other issue. We all have bits of each, just one predominant preference. It's more of a continuum, so where you have a lot of extraverted traits, you also express some introverted ones as well, which is normal.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I have decided I am not an ambivert but I am comfortable with both sides. I officially am a slight Extrovert and I am happy with that. :)
 

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Everyone is an ambivert. If you ever look into the cognitive function theories more deeply you will find you have a couple of introvert and extrovert functions, you just are predisposed to use them more intensely or not.
 

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Hmm apparently I have another account here and I type posts (OP) without being aware of it...

Seriously though, most of that I feel I could have wrote, there's just a few I'd alter or don't apply.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
The more I read that list I think I am like 50.1% introvert 49.9 extrovert. If I am honest, I spend a LOT of time alone and it doesn't bother me. I just have a lot of extroverted traits for an introvert.
 

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Same here really, although I have good reasons for desiring to be alone at the moment. It's weird calling myself a shy extravert too lol.
 

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Yeah, SFJ seems to make sense.

ESFJ means dominant Fe, and ISFJ means dominant Si.
How do you relate to descriptions of Si?
 

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By relate does that include things like: do you think it works for you at all or feel you can trust it almost 100% of the time?
 

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Discussion Starter #13
after reading a description of Si and Fe I feel strongly toward both but I do feel a slight preference for the things I read about Si. from cognitiveprocesses.com
Introverted Sensing often involves storing data and information, then comparing and contrasting the current situation with similar ones. The immediate experience or words are instantly linked with the prior experiences, and we register a similarity or a difference—for example, noticing that some food doesn’t taste the same or is saltier than it usually is. Introverted Sensing is also operating when we see someone who reminds us of someone else. Sometimes a feeling associated with the recalled image comes into our awareness along with the information itself. Then the image can be so strong, our body responds as if reliving the experience. The process also involves reviewing the past to draw on the lessons of history, hindsight, and experience. With introverted Sensing, there is often great attention to detail and getting a clear picture of goals and objectives and what is to happen. There can be a oneness with ageless customs that help sustain civilization and culture and protect what is known and long-lasting, even while what is reliable changes.

I have an incredible memory. Simple little childhood instances are in technicolor for me, times when I was embarassed, scared, or happy are crystal clear. I can remember how a certain day smelled or what I was wearing. (in contrast my short term memory is rubbish but that is another thing entirely) I do spend a lot of time on the details of goals and like I said in another post, I am not even dating anyone and I have many details of my dream wedding perfected. I know what I want to name my cat and dog once I have my own place and can afford them, and I know what breed and color I want, things like that.
Also I find I do use Introverted thinking quite a lot, which is supposed to be more challenging for ESFJ's if I understand correctly, so I do think I am ISFJ.
 

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By relate does that include things like: do you think it works for you at all or feel you can trust it almost 100% of the time?
The question was directed at adelissa, and I'm generally just trying to make it as open-ended as possible... Really probing for any kind of reaction with regards to Si. And, yeah, it includes those things too, if that is how you would like to describe it.

But you wouldn't be very strong on Si, would you?
 

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Yes, the function list for ISFJ includes Ti as tertiary and Ne as inferoir. For ESFJ Ne is tertiary and Ti inferior. So if you have a sense of Ti, and are not already in your 40s or more, then you are more likely ISFJ that ESFJ...

What makes me a bit unsure about it all is your saying you use Ti "quite a lot". High usage of a tertiary is certainly possible, but if you use it more than your auxiliary, then I would think there would be some history explaining why as well. What I'm saying is, under "normal" circumstances, the auxiliary would be stronger than the tertiary, but that experiences in life that have encouraged the tertiary or discouraged the auxiliary can change that. Do you use your Ti more when feeling more introverted?

ISFJs are also, afaik, generally considered the most "extroverted" of the introvert types.

Was there anything in particular in the ISFJ descriptions that you feel was not you?
 

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Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
I definitely use Fe more than Ti I just had a better sense of Ti than Ne. I think that internally I can be more of the thinking type, although I do think my feelings color the facts, but with people I am more of a feeling type and I definitely am super sensitive and easily hurt. And knowing that ISFJ's are more extroverted of the introverted types explains tons as I never really felt quite at home calling myself an extrovert, but I definitely have a lot of extrovert traits. I suppose the only thiing that bugs me about the ISFJ type is the descriptions that make us sound like these people who are meant to serve others and are very quiet and unassuming. I don't completely agree with that as a picture of me. I am a Leo and relate with a lot of Leo qualities ( being in the limelight since I am a classically trained opera singer,and I take charge when needed etc) Outwardly I may be doing my duty as I see it, and I feel genuine compassion for people and like to help others, and this may have to do with my specific circumstance at the moment of caring for a lot of people with no help and no gratitude, but when I read that discription the first thing that comes to mind is I need a nap! lol I really don't think I go out of my way to find people to serve and I don't think I care so much about others that I ignore my needs. I may put my needs on hold in a time of crisis for someone I love, but I am very much aware when I am not getting what I need and want and it festers. I also am your typical diva type who is insecure and never thinks she is good enough and needs lots of encouragement/validation/and praise, i.e. feeds on that applause. but you can also chalk that up to low self esteem I guess.
Makes me sound like such a needy self absorbed person, but there it is.
However the things I described are very much with people who know me well. I am actually much nicer to strangers I think because they haven't been taking me for granted all day.
So there is my little rant. I really am a nice person.. really... (such an ISFJ comment lol)

Also this last year has been the most stressful, life changing year of my life, I got ovarian cancer, (am officially ok now) my mom is dying of lung cancer, a close family member and I got into an argument which got physical and broke my first ever bone (hairline skull fracture), and I am taking on the raising of my disabled niece with no job and totally clueless how I am going to manage, so I am very interested if shadow processes are a factor right now. That, and a very real need to just be by myself with no one to take care of for a change!
 

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On the ISFJ being meant to serve people, I think that is reading the description to much as prescribing behaviour, when it isn't. It does seem clear from what you are writing though that you naturally do care about others and like helping people. Having some kind of boundaries is normal for any type - not having them wouldn't make anyone more ISFJ, just more unhealthy. I do get the feeling though that you now feel that you were not setting enough boundaries earlier in life.

What you are going through, I cannot imagine what it must be like, but I understand your need to be yourself a while. I admire your strength in keeping things up, and taking care of your niece. What you are doing takes a lot of determination, so don't underestimate your gifts and talents in that area, even if I can understand you'd rather not, at the moment.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Thank you very much, and yes, I am one of those that find it very hard to say no when someone needs something so definitely better boundaries in the future, my family situation is more of the fact I am the only unattached daughter still living at home so things kind of just fell into place as my mother's caregiver and I had planned on raising my niece when my mother passed from day one of her life, but I did not plan on getting cancer myself, so yeah stressful time, but it has taught me I am stronger than I think.
Thanks for all your help with my typing :)
 

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The question was directed at adelissa, and I'm generally just trying to make it as open-ended as possible... Really probing for any kind of reaction with regards to Si. And, yeah, it includes those things too, if that is how you would like to describe it.

But you wouldn't be very strong on Si, would you?
Sorry it was just a question I've been wondering for a while now, if fact though I do have very high use of Si at least according to the functions test I did and redid. It's my 4th highest one and it confused me for a while as to why that was. Plus I do recognize that I do have quite a bit of use of it.

What makes me a bit unsure about it all is your saying you use Ti "quite a lot". High usage of a tertiary is certainly possible, but if you use it more than your auxiliary, then I would think there would be some history explaining why as well. What I'm saying is, under "normal" circumstances, the auxiliary would be stronger than the tertiary, but that experiences in life that have encouraged the tertiary or discouraged the auxiliary can change that. Do you use your Ti more when feeling more introverted?
Yay even more useful info for me lol. I assume that would also be true of Dominant and Auxiliary as well? I definitely feel that experiences have affected my Auxilliary (Fi) and made it higher than my Dom (Se), I have more than enough reason for that to have happened. This is seriously really enlightening, if you'd like I can take this to another thread or PM? I tried to find out about the effects of trauma and depression or other mental illness/physical issues that you aren't born with and it's quite difficult and apparently there isn't very much on it so I had to jump on this one. The reason I am so adamant about this is I am positive 99.9999% sure Se was first to develop and Fi would be next while I feel Te at the moment and frankly I desperately need Ni to start working and having to wait till I'm about 50 doesn't thrill me lol.

P.S. I don't know if you remember, but I'm the one you asked about the 23 questions for figuring out people's types.
 

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Sorry it was just a question I've been wondering for a while now, if fact though I do have very high use of Si at least according to the functions test I did and redid. It's my 4th highest one and it confused me for a while as to why that was. Plus I do recognize that I do have quite a bit of use of it.

Yay even more useful info for me lol. I assume that would also be true of Dominant and Auxiliary as well? I definitely feel that experiences have affected my Auxilliary (Fi) and made it higher than my Dom (Se), I have more than enough reason for that to have happened. This is seriously really enlightening, if you'd like I can take this to another thread or PM? I tried to find out about the effects of trauma and depression or other mental illness/physical issues that you aren't born with and it's quite difficult and apparently there isn't very much on it so I had to jump on this one. The reason I am so adamant about this is I am positive 99.9999% sure Se was first to develop and Fi would be next while I feel Te at the moment and frankly I desperately need Ni to start working and having to wait till I'm about 50 doesn't thrill me lol.

P.S. I don't know if you remember, but I'm the one you asked about the 23 questions for figuring out people's types.
Might be nothing, but we sure could look into it. And your questions are interesting, but I must warn you that I probably give off the air of knowing more than I do... And yes, I sure remember you. You seem to inhabit the same parts of this forum as me... And I did get something on those questions back from Scruffy, but I haven't put it together yet... Too many things to do, and not enough time. But let's start your thread!
 
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