[MyName]

I talked to a girl in the caffeteria at my college the other day, and we had a nice long talk, and than I asked her when she came there and she said that she was at the caffeteria at 5-5:30 for diner. I happened to run into her today, and briefly said hello. Tonight at dinner, I came at 5, and she was there, but with a big group of people, so I didn't talk to her, but she saw me there. Tonight I saw her at diner again, and she just looked at me for a second, and I don't know if she was weirded out or if she liked that I was there. Do you think she would think I was a creeper if I always showed up at dinner at the same time she did?

 

[TreeRobert]

First of all, how did you make it all the way through middle school, high school and onward to college without knowing that "cafeteria" only has one "f?"

Secondly, stop being such a pussy about interacting with her. If you find her attractive, approach her and talk to her. Staring at her from the corner a few times a week isn't going to get you anywhere, she'll just think you're a weirdo. Worst case scenario, she rejects you and you're exactly where you started: not fucking her. Who cares?

You're really overthinking/dragging out something that is a basic and simple human interaction.

 

[mrscientist]

Not everyone, especially INTJ types are fond or skilled in interaction.
But yes, Roberts advice sounds sound.

 

[sofort99]

I'd go up to her and say "Excuse me, but I eat here this time every day and always see you here looking at me. Are you following me?"

And then I'd let her deal with it.

But I can be evil, so maybe that's just me.

 

[Calvaire]

People are assholes. So I'll actually give you advice and I want to say sorry for rude ignorant fucks.


When you had your nice long talk did she say things like "I think I have to go" or seem uncomfortable or did it seem like she enjoyed talking to you? Did she sigh when she said she had to go? Did she look at all reluctant to leave?
Most likely she wants you to talk to her more. If you don't she could get creeped out by you just staring at her instead of going up to her,I know it's hard and if possible try to go up to her alone and then let her introduce you to her friends
don't just go up to the group of her and her friends because then the opinons will be flying and it might not turn out so good in your favor.Girls are most likely to accept a guy with their friend when SHE introduces him it just happens like that.

PS-You should kind of make a joke about it like HEYY YOU AGAIN?! are you stalking me then laugh

 

[mrscientist]

People are assholes. So I'll actually give you advice and I want to say sorry for rude ignorant fucks.

...blah blah blah

I am sorry, but no need to make fake conversations or overanalyze.
Second post preety much covered it, why feel awkward if you meet someone?

 

[TreeRobert]

People are assholes. So I'll actually give you advice and I want to say sorry for rude ignorant fucks.

Since my last post was mod-deleted for what I can only imagine was taking too rude a tact, I'll put this more nicely.

This question is about approaching a female that is considered attractive. Judging by your pictures, it is extremely unlikely that you have experience in this area and should not be dispensing counter-productive advice based on your fantasy version of how you think you want imaginary males to approach you.

I was not being an "asshole" or "rude" or an "ignorant fuck" and to imply I'm ignorant on this topic when you've probably never had any males hit on you in your entire life is laughable. No offense.

 

[mrscientist]

A perfectly sound thread is a terrible thing to waste...

 

[Slider]

Maybe go to dinner whenever you want and talk to her somewhere else for a change?

 

[Calvaire]

Since my last post was mod-deleted for what I can only imagine was taking too rude a tact, I'll put this more nicely.

This question is about approaching a female that is considered attractive. Judging by your pictures, it is extremely unlikely that you have experience in this area and should not be dispensing counter-productive advice based on your fantasy version of how you think you want imaginary males to approach you.

I was not being an "asshole" or "rude" or an "ignorant fuck" and to imply I'm ignorant on this topic when you've probably never had any males hit on you in your entire life is laughable. No offense.

Really? I find it fucking hilarious that you want to judge situations and people. How old are you? Honestly you need to grow up a bit. Also he never stated that the female in question was attractive. Thank God I'm not attractive to you,I would never want someone like you to be attracted to me. Glad to know Genuine good people are attracted to me and not Ignorant,trash-talking over the internet,fake intelligent asshole douchebags.

Oh and if you were trying to bring my self-esteem down,sorry buddy it doesn't happen.
:laughing:

Good try champ,good try.

 

[TreeRobert]

Really? I find it fucking hilarious that you want to judge situations and people. How old are you?

"Judging situations and people" is entirely relevant to this topic.

Also he never stated that the female in question was attractive.

He knows nothing about her and has never held a real conversation with her but finds himself compelled to approach and get to know her. The only reason for this would be that she is attractive.

Common sense. Try it sometime.

 

[Calvaire]

"Judging situations and people" is entirely relevant to this topic.



He knows nothing about her and has never held a real conversation with her but finds himself compelled to approach and get to know her. The only reason for this would be that she is attractive.

Common sense. Try it sometime.

Silly you, you didn't even read the post correctly yet you found yourself commenting on it for no reason at all just to be Churlish. He stated that he had a nice long talk with the girl in question,now he is finding it difficult to talk to her again and approach her and isn't sure if he should or not or if she would be interested in it and does not want to come off as a 'creeper',stalker,clinger whatever you seem to call it.
Not everyone thinks the same way or acts the same way,you might think not being a 'pussy' and going up to her is the right way to go,but guess what? Chances are when you walk away the girl and her friends sit there and talk major shit about you. Also it depends entirely on the type of girl she is,not everyone likes the same ways of being approached. Sorry that I offered him to approach her in a different way,but I STILL did give the advice to approach the girl in question,I never said run away don't approach walk away now! I said to approach her alone instead of in a group with her friends,people act differently with friends they've known longer or even with groups than they tend to do alone you can get a better reaction and more attention with a one on one conversation.

As for you,you're new here and I really doubt you'll last on these forums for long.

Oh and by the way thanks for giving me the profile view:wink:

 

[TreeRobert]

Again, fantasies of an ugly chick.

You have no idea how this works IRL because you've never actually had it happen.

PS - "long talk" != "real conversation." There's a huge difference.

 

[vel]

She will most likely get weirded out if you appear in same place same time with her and don't initiate any conversation. If she is a very sensitive girl she might simply feel very uncomfortable and confused. If she is a confident girl she will observe you and end up feeling repulsed by your lack of confidence. Good thing is that she is now aware that you have an interest in her. But if you continue with this it isn't going to lead anywhere good. So either stop your mini-stalking or draw out a strategy, an action plan, on how to proceed next.

I'd go up to her and say "Excuse me, but I eat here this time every day and always see you here looking at me. Are you following me?"

And then I'd let her deal with it.

But I can be evil, so maybe that's just me.

that's a sure way to get branded as an asshole

 

[wonderfert]

As a woman who has had the "are you following me?" line used on me I can only urge you not to use it. It isn't cute, or funny. It is likely to make her not want you around her.

Now onto your real question. I don't think you're being a creeper, though it might be best to make an effort to speak to her a little more. I know small talk will be hard, as you're an INTJ. I feel your pain.

 

[sofort99]

that's a sure way to get branded as an asshole

I usually am an asshole.

 

[vel]

I usually am an asshole.

good for you, but not what the OP is trying to achieve

 

[OrangeCounty]

I agree mostly with what Calvaire said...sounds like she knows what she is talking about.

If you already have had a nice long talk there is a good chance she likes you… unless there were a lot of awkward silences going or something. If she laughed a lot during this long talk then that would be a really great sign.

I get not wanting to talk to her when she was with the big group...to keep things from getting creepy though you now need to initiate conversation again if you're going to start to "always" show up at the same time she does. Haha. Hope it goes how you want! :happy:

 

[Molock]

Again, fantasies of an ugly chick.

You have no idea how this works IRL because you've never actually had it happen.

PS - "long talk" != "real conversation." There's a huge difference.

Wow. You have a problem and I'd advise you to take it elsewhere.

Also, dare I say that you see yourself in the OP and resent it?

 

[clear moon]

Again, fantasies of an ugly chick.

You have no idea how this works IRL because you've never actually had it happen.

PS - "long talk" != "real conversation." There's a huge difference.

Considering you haven't had anything constructive to say I doubt you're very skilled at "basic human interaction" beyond "fetch me a sammich".