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Boyfriend has seemed a very obvious 3 to me until we had this conversation about the overarching survival mechanism of 3: achievement or success. Boyfriend often mentions how he wants to leave his indelible mark in history. He tells me he doesn't just want to win an Oscar, he wants to have the perfect film portfolio. Boyfriend has been at his job for 5 months, has been promoted once already, and his boss is talking to him about yet another promotion.

HOWEVER
When I ask Boyfriend if he sees success/achievement as a survival/coping mechanism he uses, he tells me no. He says he knows he talks about success a lot, but that doesn't interpret to how he feels internally about success. He would be just as fine being allowed to create things, film specifically, and that success would just be icing on the cake.

I ask him what he sees his primary survival/coping mechanism as, and he says companionship (he is SX dom, so this makes sense to me.) He says he would use creating things as a secondary coping mechanism. This leads me to believe he sees self expression as more important than achievement, which makes me wonder if he is perhaps a 4w3 and not a 3w4 as I'd thought.
 

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Your boyfriend sounds like a textbook healthy 4w3, according to Riso & Hudson's Personality Types, page 168.

"Because of the Three-wing, healthy people of this [4w3] subtype can be sociable, ambitious, and accomplished, particularly in the arts: they possess both creativity and the drive to "make their mark."
 

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I am 4w3. And i relate 100% to what you said.
 
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Boyfriend has seemed a very obvious 3 to me until we had this conversation about the overarching survival mechanism of 3: achievement or success. Boyfriend often mentions how he wants to leave his indelible mark in history. He tells me he doesn't just want to win an Oscar, he wants to have the perfect film portfolio. Boyfriend has been at his job for 5 months, has been promoted once already, and his boss is talking to him about yet another promotion.

HOWEVER
When I ask Boyfriend if he sees success/achievement as a survival/coping mechanism he uses, he tells me no. He says he knows he talks about success a lot, but that doesn't interpret to how he feels internally about success. He would be just as fine being allowed to create things, film specifically, and that success would just be icing on the cake.

I ask him what he sees his primary survival/coping mechanism as, and he says companionship (he is SX dom, so this makes sense to me.) He says he would use creating things as a secondary coping mechanism. This leads me to believe he sees self expression as more important than achievement, which makes me wonder if he is perhaps a 4w3 and not a 3w4 as I'd thought.
do you know his MBTI type? that would help.
 

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I'm pretty much stuck between 3 and 4, though I'm leaning towards 3. After reading the posts on this thread, though, I'm wondering if I'm just a Type 4w3? If your boyfriend prefers companionship over creation though, I'd say he's a Type 4. And in my case, I'd be a Type 4 going by that criteria as well...
 
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