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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I already posted this in the Heart Triad forum but I think it's more appropriate to post here (Or is there a way to move/merge posts?)

Boyfriend has seemed a very obvious 3 to me until we had this conversation about the overarching survival mechanism of 3: achievement or success. Boyfriend often mentions how he wants to leave his indelible mark in history. He tells me he doesn't just want to win an Oscar, he wants to have the perfect film portfolio. Boyfriend has been at his job for 5 months, has been promoted once already, and his boss is talking to him about yet another promotion.

When I ask Boyfriend if he sees success/achievement as a survival/coping mechanism he uses, he tells me no. He says he knows he talks about success a lot, but that doesn't interpret to how he feels internally about success. He would be just as fine being allowed to create things, film specifically, and that success would just be icing on the cake.

I ask him what he sees his primary survival/coping mechanism as, and he says companionship (he is SX dom, so this makes sense to me.) He says he would use creating things as a secondary coping mechanism. This leads me to believe he sees self expression as more important than achievement, which makes me wonder if he is perhaps a 4w3 and not a 3w4 as I'd thought.
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