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1,877 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Looking back through my life, I've never experienced what people describe as "fancying" someone or having a crush on someone.

When boys used to pass me nudey magazines of naked girls, I never really got excited or felt very attracted to them. Maybe a little bit every once in a while, but not that much. Not enough to give me a boner.

The only reason I ever considered masturbating was when I was exposed to hardcore pornography, and I found it very difficult to find something that really got me sexually excited. I noticed that no pornstars, female or male, were attractive to me based on looks, unless they had a rare specific look that I found interesting.

The only thing that made me aroused was a specific sexual situation that the porn films acted out.

I've never had sex, and I used to care about it, but now I really don't care. I just don't ever really feel like doing it, and this is despite being fit and healthy most of my life.

9/10 when I visualize my future life, It's alone, but it doesn't depress me. It's not as if I really want a relationship but I believe I can't have one, I just don't even think about it most of the time. I feel peacefully alone.

Most of the time when I picture being in a situation with a woman, it's mainly romantic desires, not completely sexual.

So I know I'm at least heteroromantic. I've never had a homoromantic fantasy. But I think I may be Asexual.

What do you guys think?

exploring space
9,549 Posts
Maybe you are asexual yes. I'm not very experienced with this but I have a friend who doesn't like sex, she used to engage in it casually only for validation/ego as she is kinda narcissistic (not NPD though). After years of therapy she concluded she doesn't like sex and it's fine. She is in a relationship for 5 years now they have sex a few times mainly for him. She doesn't like porn and doesn't masturbate, the only times she feels horny is when being pursued by some new guy and it only lasts a little. I don't know if she's considered asexual but I think the title fits enough.
Maybe you'll get more sexual feelings if you find yourself in a relationship, who knows.
Perhaps you don't need to worry too much unless there's some kinda "pathology" underneath like insecurity/shame that prevents you from accepting your sexual side or if it's linked to depression maybe.

15,562 Posts
I'm in a similar situation. I think I'm an asexual heteromantic.

Personally, people themselves never get me sexually excited, and I only experience aesthetic or romantic attraction toward them. Whenever I picture myself with someone, I'm just dating them. But I really like masturbating. Sometimes I do it to nonsexual stuff, like looking at restaurant menus (when I'm at home, of course). It seems like you're a lot less dependent on masturbation than I am, that it was in your past.

From what I have read about asexuality, all it means to be asexual is that you do not experience sexual attraction toward anyone. You can be asexual and still have a sex drive. You can even be an asexual if you've had sex in the past.
If you want to read more, you can check out this article: What Is Asexuality :: Am I Ace? A Man's Guide To Asexuality
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