Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 20 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I tend to be frustrated with people as I can not relate to them. They want simple things and have simple mindsets. They question my behavior when in fact my behavior is more beneficial than anything they do. They seem to miss the big picture and see the millions of parts moving around them which are in play. I tend to have a habit of fixing things and keeping people out of trouble just because I notice these little details and anticipate. It like watching a child about to step on a toy that was left on the floor. You simply pick it up and put it away. No one notices, not even the child but if you did not intervene they might have hurt themselves. People are the exact same way and to explain the universe in all its wonder seems pretty impossible. I was never known for being emotional but I always was a bleeding heart because I thought you could utilize anything. Some psychopaths are very successful, but they have the decision to be monsters or not. I do not believe in the concept of "Poor impulse control". I can see the perspective from both sides of the coin. I can see a sheep a mile away and I know when wolves smell blood. I could destroy a sheep but I choose to protect the sheep. The Wolves see prey just because they feel like killing something but that's completely pointless. Why would you bother hurting something for no reason? You gain nothing, its completely irrational. Its like the whole world is full of children and I just stuck babysitting. As a child I even had to babysit my idiot parents who couldn't get their crap together. I just don't understand what makes them like this.
 

·
Registered
INFP
Joined
·
75 Posts
[snipped...] Its like the whole world is full of children and I just stuck babysitting. As a child I even had to babysit my idiot parents who couldn't get their crap together. I just don't understand what makes them like this.
Perhaps you got sucked into being a caretaker for your irresponsible parents when you were growing up. Such children tend to turn into codependents or rescuers or enablers in adulthood.

If you feel that your current role of "rescuer" of other people is a burden, you can always just stop. Quit taking on responsibility for other people's lives and let people look out for themselves. Read up on the subject of personal boundaries so that you don't feel guilty or responsible for the mistakes and errors of others, and all that stuff.

A book recommendation: "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (published 1992).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,104 Posts
Well, that's a pointless insult to be honest. I'm pretty sure that many of us feel the same at some point.
I sure hope not. I had emotionally immature parents too, but I don't consider the general population sheep or children that need me to babysit them. Not trying to insult OP, just pointing out how arrogant it sounds and, ironically, how insulting and infantilizing it is to the people they are describing.
 

·
Registered
INFP
Joined
·
75 Posts
[snipped...] how insulting and infantilizing it is to the people they are describing.
Legitimate point. Enablers and codependents like to imagine that they're indispensable to the people they help. And in that manner they do tend to infantilize the people around them. There's a bit of a "control freak" vibe to enablers.
 

·
The spirit of the spirits
Joined
·
10,954 Posts
I sure hope not. I had emotionally immature parents too, but I don't consider the general population sheep or children that need me to babysit them. Not trying to insult OP, just pointing out how arrogant it sounds and, ironically, how insulting and infantilizing it is to the people they are describing.
I meant that it's kind of normal to see many others as not very smart. That's probably the first thing that pops in anyone's mind, when expectations of competence aren't met.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,304 Posts
I tend to be frustrated with people as I can not relate to them. They want simple things and have simple mindsets. They question my behavior when in fact my behavior is more beneficial than anything they do. They seem to miss the big picture and see the millions of parts moving around them which are in play. I tend to have a habit of fixing things and keeping people out of trouble just because I notice these little details and anticipate. It like watching a child about to step on a toy that was left on the floor. You simply pick it up and put it away. No one notices, not even the child but if you did not intervene they might have hurt themselves. People are the exact same way and to explain the universe in all its wonder seems pretty impossible. I was never known for being emotional but I always was a bleeding heart because I thought you could utilize anything. Some psychopaths are very successful, but they have the decision to be monsters or not. I do not believe in the concept of "Poor impulse control". I can see the perspective from both sides of the coin. I can see a sheep a mile away and I know when wolves smell blood. I could destroy a sheep but I choose to protect the sheep. The Wolves see prey just because they feel like killing something but that's completely pointless. Why would you bother hurting something for no reason? You gain nothing, its completely irrational. Its like the whole world is full of children and I just stuck babysitting. As a child I even had to babysit my idiot parents who couldn't get their crap together. I just don't understand what makes them like this.
What is wrong with wanting simple things and having a simple mindset? If you want something else that's entierly your own choice but you shouldn't have a conflict just because of a different mindset. Well, why do they question your behavior? What about it? If you can't tell and only speak in vague terms we can't help you.

Maybe the reason you don't get along or can't relate with people is because you always think yourself as superior to them? For you, it may be obvious and natural, for other people, they see your arrogance and they don't really like you for it. Would you like an arrogant person? You may say "but I'm in the right!", that's exactly what that arrogant person that you don't like thinks.

Not trying to insult you OP, but I highly doubt that reality is the way you describe it, like you protect people all the time from the shadow and they don't appreciate it. Beacuse appart from the arrogance and sense of superiority, your answer was also very vague in spite of its length, you didn't give any example of a situation that you label as such.

You do seem to have a quality that many people on this forum seem to lack, no offfense, you have dignity and self-respect. Self-respect means that you care about you and don't allow other people to disrespect you. It doesn't mean that you pick a fight out of everything, especially when you can avoid it, but means that you have a backbone and can stand up for yourself when necessary.

Instead, you lack the qualities from the other end of the spectrum, and I'm just assuming now, you aren't nice. You may have good intentions, but you don't behave nicely, and people can see that. Have your own integrity, but you need to adapt to other people as well, you need likeablity and this is good. Don't give up on being the default version that you can be without effort, as your core personality itself can be something people will find enjoyable, but at the same time make adjustments to make yourself more likeable. So be yourself, the default version that you can be without effort, but in the limit of common sense, people like common sense.

Don't be rude or rash. People who can make themselves likeable will be liked by other people and this will give them a lot of confirmation that they are liked, which in turn will make them more likely to like themselves. If 50 people behave as if they like you then you will be more likely to like yourself. Be nice to people and have dignity as well as the ability to stand up for yourself when necessary.

Every action you make has consequences, good or bad, think about them. This may sound trivial, but we don't often conciously think about the decisions we make, whether they bring us more towards were we want to go in life, for further us away from it. Thinking about the consequences of your current actions is a way to become concious of your life and make better decisions. You likely already know can tell what decision is good or bad.

You likely already know what you need to do. That thing you always thought about but never did: work out program, learning to code, losing weight, taking better care of your body, etc. It's different for every person, it's a change in your life that you see as an improvement. A change in your life that is not limited only to work or your body. You can also apply to what, I think it is, your arrogance and you trying to become more socially appropiate. Remember that people are emotional creatures and they don't always work on the rules of logic, you can probably look at other people and say "yes, that's it!" but do not exclude yourself, as you are in this bucket too, you're just less aware of it, everyone is.
 
  • Like
Reactions: baby blue me

·
Registered
INFP 9w1
Joined
·
788 Posts
@MisterDexter

I can relate to you! I've felt the same way about people for a long time. Until I noticed that we are all equal, we just have different blind spots. It's easier to see the ones others have. If you can't see or feel your own blind spot yet, wait for life to show you. It will. Maybe it already does, since you started this conversation. Are you lonely?
 

·
私を愛して
ESTJ; LSE; 3w4; Sp/Sx
Joined
·
14,683 Posts
Am I on a different level?
No, we are all on the same level.
Your soul may just be more developed than the average person. However, be careful not to come across as arrogant to others.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
224 Posts
In many Third World countries that don’t excel in the production of warning signs children bear much more responsibility than in Western countries. Schoolboys jump on moving minibuses and climb on the roof. What a refreshingly dangerous world! As Janusz Korczak rightly writes, children are entitled to risk their lives because they own themselves. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Mind your own business.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
@MisterDexter

I can relate to you! I've felt the same way about people for a long time. Until I noticed that we are all equal, we just have different blind spots. It's easier to see the ones others have. If you can't see or feel your own blind spot yet, wait for life to show you. It will. Maybe it already does, since you started this conversation. Are you lonely?
I use to be and I had a hard fall as I lost everything I loved and my ego was destroyed and I realized my worth was absolutely 0. I realized no matter how amazing I might try to be, that being the perfect friend, perfect person, perfect worker, perfect everything makes people love you for awhile but the slightest screw up can make the world crashing down. I realize no matter what I did I would lose everything I loved and so why cherish anything?
 

·
Registered
INFP 9w1
Joined
·
788 Posts
I use to be and I had a hard fall as I lost everything I loved and my ego was destroyed and I realized my worth was absolutely 0. I realized no matter how amazing I might try to be, that being the perfect friend, perfect person, perfect worker, perfect everything makes people love you for awhile but the slightest screw up can make the world crashing down. I realize no matter what I did I would lose everything I loved and so why cherish anything?
There are many people who don't expect you to be perfect. It's not possible to be perfect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
85 Posts
You may be feeling superior because you are. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Isn't it only natural that we recognize that we are stronger than others in some ways? The problem here is not that you recognize your superiority in certain ways, but that you seem to think that makes you superior in every way to every one. Over time, you will humble yourself when you begin to take on things that are not able to be taken on using your strengths, but your weaknesses.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,343 Posts
I use to be and I had a hard fall as I lost everything I loved and my ego was destroyed and I realized my worth was absolutely 0. I realized no matter how amazing I might try to be, that being the perfect friend, perfect person, perfect worker, perfect everything makes people love you for awhile but the slightest screw up can make the world crashing down. I realize no matter what I did I would lose everything I loved and so why cherish anything?
A teacher does not give his students the answers for the test, for that would defeat the purpose of teaching. We have free will and that means having the freedom to fail. People must find their own path through trial and error. By constantly trying to protect people from all the things that go wrong, you prevent them learning for themselves. Suffering is not the enemy but the teacher. Our job is to provide guidance and theory, not experience.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24 Posts
A teacher does not give his students the answers for the test, for that would defeat the purpose of teaching. We have free will and that means having the freedom to fail. People must find their own path through trial and error. By constantly trying to protect people from all the things that go wrong, you prevent them learning for themselves. Suffering is not the enemy but the teacher. Our job is to provide guidance and theory, not experience.
That actually puts things into perspective
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,938 Posts
I tend to be frustrated with people as I can not relate to them. They want simple things and have simple mindsets. They question my behavior when in fact my behavior is more beneficial than anything they do. They seem to miss the big picture and see the millions of parts moving around them which are in play. I tend to have a habit of fixing things and keeping people out of trouble just because I notice these little details and anticipate. It like watching a child about to step on a toy that was left on the floor. You simply pick it up and put it away. No one notices, not even the child but if you did not intervene they might have hurt themselves. People are the exact same way and to explain the universe in all its wonder seems pretty impossible. I was never known for being emotional but I always was a bleeding heart because I thought you could utilize anything. Some psychopaths are very successful, but they have the decision to be monsters or not. I do not believe in the concept of "Poor impulse control". I can see the perspective from both sides of the coin. I can see a sheep a mile away and I know when wolves smell blood. I could destroy a sheep but I choose to protect the sheep. The Wolves see prey just because they feel like killing something but that's completely pointless. Why would you bother hurting something for no reason? You gain nothing, its completely irrational. Its like the whole world is full of children and I just stuck babysitting. As a child I even had to babysit my idiot parents who couldn't get their crap together. I just don't understand what makes them like this.
You're basically self-disciplned. Good for you. Make something out it.
 
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
Top