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After taking the Myers Briggs test over the past couple years, and coming up with the result ENFJ, I started to get a little more interested in what the test means, and if I really can be defined by four letters. To get a better understanding I started to read more about it, and I also signed up to these forums. I thought that perhaps in a selfish way, I could try to determine whether or not I am the ENFJ. I am going to write up a “report” on what kind of person I am – and I would like you folks to tell me if you think that it represents what an ENFJ is.

“You’re too sensitive!” “You have such a bleeding heart!” “Stop trying to white knight people!”

For most of my life, people have noticed that I come across as overly sensitive and emotional. This was very hard for me in elementary school, where there seemed to be very few people who understood me too well. My hyper sensitivity was easy to mock, and as such, I had very few friends for many years. I hated school, I hated my classmates, I hated my teachers, and I hated my life. Much of this probably has to do with a horrible home life that consisted of a struggling mother and drunken father – throw in a few older siblings who were in their teens, and you have a recipe for pre-adolescent disaster. As I grew older, I gained the ability to control my emotions. I’m still a very sensitive person, but I’m much better at not taking things so personally.

I have a strong empathy towards people. Even more so if I know the person on a more intimate level. For example, today I was working with a close friend. She was almost in tears because of some recent stress. As I stood with her trying to console and offer advice, I became very close to crying myself as I put myself in her shoes. Crying is not uncommon for me. A sad movie or song can get me going quite easily. I used to be ashamed to admit it, thinking that crying was a sign of weakness. However, I view my strong empathy towards others a considerable strength. I believe that it helps to build better relationships with others.

Relationships! I adore making new friends. I like to have a wide variety of friends, but I strive to have as many close relationships as possible. If I have to juggle them, then so be it. It’s not uncommon for me to be taking to a friend on the phone, while talking to someone online, while trying to have a conversation with someone in the same room. It can be difficult, but I manage. When a relationship goes sour, the amount of pain I feel is immense. Usually I will blame myself, as I tend to be very hard on myself. I also tend to feel that it is my responsibility to shoulder as many burdens and pain as possible because I feel that I can handle it. When the load becomes too much, the breakdown I have is significant and painful. Again though, I usually blame myself.

I tend to smoother people. If I’m getting to know a new friend, I can be a little too obsessive with texting them or trying to find time to hang out. I know that not everyone wants that kind of attention, so I try to curb it as much as possible, but it feels like when I do it’s going against some natural instinct.

I feel as though I am a misunderstood person sometimes, and despite my openness, I will often keep my mouth shut in various circumstances. For example, I love people – a lot. Yet, as a male I feel as though the perception of me as I try to make conversation with people may be misconstrued. I would love to talk to and make children laugh, but I fear as though people would feel that I am being a creep. The same goes for young attractive people who I try to talk to. I sometimes get the “this guy is trying to hit on me” look, when nothing could be further from the truth. I like to make people laugh. I like to make a child smile just as much as I enjoy making the elderly smile. The social expectations of what a young male is in the public’s eye makes me fear what people will think if I try to talk to everyone.

While I tend to look at everything with an ethical and moral perspective, I understand the value of logic. To help build my understanding of skepticism, science, and logic, I will often read books on evolution and science, or skeptic literature. One of my goals in life is to simply understand more about the world we live in, and then spread that knowledge to as many people as possible. Yet, even though I invest a lot of time in the studies of secularism, I also enjoy reading and studying religion and spiritual ways of life.

I used to be a very devout Catholic, but now I am an Atheist. However, some of the best people I know are very religious – as in, I’m not a preachy or stuck up Atheist.
What do you friends think? Am I an ENFJ? I’ll be honest; I just wanted an excuse to talk about myself. :p
 

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Have you read the ENFJ cognitive function descriptions?

There's also a cognitive processes test that can help you determine your type [even though tests are pretty useless, but they can sort of indicate which process you use based on some relatively stereotypical definitions of cognitive processes].

Keys 2 Cognition - Cognitive Processes

In addition,

I feel as though I am a misunderstood person sometimes, and despite my openness, I will often keep my mouth shut in various circumstances. For example, I love people – a lot. Yet, as a male I feel as though the perception of me as I try to make conversation with people may be misconstrued. I would love to talk to and make children laugh, but I fear as though people would feel that I am being a creep. The same goes for young attractive people who I try to talk to. I sometimes get the “this guy is trying to hit on me” look, when nothing could be further from the truth. I like to make people laugh. I like to make a child smile just as much as I enjoy making the elderly smile. The social expectations of what a young male is in the public’s eye makes me fear what people will think if I try to talk to everyone.
Elaborate a little about this paragraph --- For some reason, a lot of what you're describing may be Fe-Si-Ne more than Fe-Ni-Se. But I would like to know more before I make any assertions [and please note that I'm not making any assertions of your type].

Ni-Se usually knows how another person will perceive them and may get close without pushing boundaries, because of an intuitive awareness of those boundaries without them being established. Whereas, imo [and this is just based on my interpretation and I could be wrong], Si-Ne would like to know the boundaries because it sees potential possibilities/tangents of all that could go wrong.
 

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@A Total Melvin I can agree with a lot of what you posted there. It is like the stuff that you say, I could picture myself saying...even though we are both opposite genders! Your strong empathy, your sadness when you can't connect with others the way you'd want to, your love for "feeling" and "logic" and ideas...it really matches with an ENFJ personality type from the way I understand it to be.
 
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