[AlinaMarie]

Hey guys, I was hoping you could help me figure out if I really am an INFJ. When I take those tests I get INFJ or INFP. But I definitely don't think I'm an INFP (reasons below). So here's a bit about me and maybe you can help me figure out what I am? I'm really lost because I'm not even sure if I'm Introverted or Extroverted haha.

I think I'm Introverted, but I'm not sure because I know to some people I would say I'm E though... I will say Hi to people BUT only people I know. And I'm never loud around people I don't know. Ever. But if a stranger sees me being loud, its usually because I'm with my friends and they are seeing me totally without restraints. I do like being by myself and love just sitting in the car, listening to music and thinking about everything (usually what has happened earlier that day, or crazy dreams for the future)

INFP's are generally on a quest for world peace or something, right? Well.... me, not so much. LOL actually when people tell me to recycle I usually tell them "The world will end eventually anyway- my one bottle will not cause the glaciers to melt tomorrow and wipe out the North American continent."

Both INFJ's and INFP's don't like conflict. I think? I'm not really familiar with all the details of the types but that's what I've heard. I don't like LOOK for fights haha but when some drama happens, I think it's rather entertaining.

I'm really strong in my opinion and when something goes against them, man will I get mad. I get irritated and will pull the guilt trigger (I'm also a very good manipulator, by the way) and I almost always win.

I am really, really good at reading people- especially their emotions. I can walk into a room and read the atmosphere and each person's feelings. I can tell if a certain person is tired, or angry or happy without them saying a word to me. I can read their actions and body actions. I've always been good at that- ever since I was little. I'm very sensitive to their emotions and can tailor my actions to fit their emotions for that day.

I can keep to a specific, strict schedule and like to make lists and stuff and like my room to be organized. I'm not OCD about it's cleanliness or anything but it has to be fairly neat. I'm also really forgetful though and am always loosing stuff at different places. However I never forget a commitment I've made to a friend, weather it's bringing them a book or something.

If you have any more questions, just leave them below and I'll get back to you. I'm so confused as to what type I am.

 

[vel]

What might help you to confirm your type is reading about the cognitive functions. The difference between INFJ and INFP is not simply one last letter being different. The whole ladder of cognitive functions is actually re-worked:
INFJ - introverted intuition primary, extraverted feeling secondary, introverted thinking tertiary, extraverted sensing inferior
INFP - introverted feeling primary, extraverted intuition secondary, introverted sensing tertiary, extraverted thinking inferior

So as you can see quite a difference between the two. On the surface this can lead to similar behaviors - both types utilizing their feeling function more than thinking, both types being introverted and both types using intuition. But when you get to the core of each type the core is actually quite different. There is a big difference in having introverted intuition as the primary lens through which you see the world as opposed to having introverted feeling. So I would recommend you read about INFJ and INFP primary and secondary cognitive functions in more detail to determine which ones you seem to use.

 

[Runescribe]

To Vel you must listen. This is the best advice you will receive from anyone on this topic. Look at the functions. Those 4 letters are meaningless unless tied to the functions.

 

[AlinaMarie]

Thanks guys! Could you explain a little more to me the functions? Does extraverted feeling mean you clearly seem like a feeler to people, while introverted feeling means you seem more like a thinker, but are really still a feeler? Because I sort of understand what you're saying, but only kinda. If you don't have the time to type it all out, do you have a favorite website or something that explains it some more in detail?

 

[vel]

Extraverted feeling makes you feel more like one with a group of people and be sensitive to instances where social norms are being violated. It is objective feeling, aimed at the world outside of you. In INFJs this is secondary function so not as strongly expressed as for somebody who would have feeling at their primary function as in INFPs. Introverted feeling makes you more aware of your own internal moral standards. You may feel very strongly that something is wrong and something is right. In this way INFPs can appear to be alike INFJs but for INFJs the extraverted feeling will say "ok, well this is not normal by outside social norms thus is not acceptable" but for INFPs it is case of "I personally don't feel that this is right hence it is not right". Feeling is INFPs primary function so they do tend to be more emotional and more expressive of their own personal emotions than INFJs. We tend to appear colder to the outside while all of the INFPs I have met so far tend to give warm vibes to me and seem to be more comfortable with expressing their feeling. Sometimes to the Fe-bearers they can come off as selfish, as if they want everything done to the manner that they personally feel is right without considering the outside standards that our Fe pays attention to and other people's feelings. I think to a Fi-dominant somebody with Fe will look conformist taking on outside norms or even needy wanting to belong to a group of people. People with Fi I think do tend to feel more like separate unique individuals rather than a part of the group, sort of this one-ness with other people, which is what people with Fe are prone to feeling.

So I guess extraverted feeling just makes you appear more objective with your feelings and moral judgements. While introverted feeling will make you appear more subjective in expression of your feelings as well as more subjective with your moral judgements. People usually correlate objectivism with thinker functions, so you can say that Fe bearers can appear more thinker-like but this is not the case at all. All extraverted functions in fact are objective, be it thinking of feeling. They are aimed at interacting with the world outside. All introverted functions are subjective and are grounded in your personal view and understanding of the world.

 

[AtheistGuy]

Your probably like me on the introversion, I'm very introverted but I'm a talker around people I know very well/trust.

Your probably INFJ.

 

[AlinaMarie]

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm still slightly stumped by the one line about INFJs coming off as cold though, because that is usually not me. I'm almost always described as "nice", "sweet", or "kind" etc.

 

[RaVenDeaLeR]

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm still slightly stumped by the one line about INFJs coming off as cold though, because that is usually not me. I'm almost always described as "nice", "sweet", or "kind" etc.

I think vel might mean you just seem cold to people who dont know you when you arent in a comfortable environment with your friends.

Say I am walking somewhere by myself and someone passes me on the sidewalk going the other direction, I rarely make eye contact and smile, this could be percieved by some as cold

of course this doesnt mean I am cold, say this person asked me for the time..I would have no qualms brightening up and speaking very nicely and being as co-operative as possible

 

[BlissfulDreams]

I think the coming off as cold is more in reference to people you don't know or acquaintances. Those who you don't talk to (whether it's purposely avoiding them or not talking to them because you're not sure what to talk to them about, or whatever it may be) will probably think of you different than those who know you well and know the more outspoken and carefree personality. To those who you're more quiet around, you may appear distant or even snobby. But the reality may be that you're just shy around people who you've just met or don't know very well. But a person with a different perspective may interpret the same behaviour very differently.

I have occasionally been told or overheard that I am snobby or "cold". It doesn't make much sense on the surface for me. I don't think I'm snobby and I know my friends wouldn't say I am either. But I know I am very distant at first and can see how that may be interpreted as being cold to others.

Hopefully this clarifies things a bit. Though, maybe this doesn't describe you at all.

 

[Elemmire]

I think this makes up my mind for me, but the other way. One thing I have never thought was, this is not normal by outside norms... I have always looked inside myself and to select sources of authority for my moral compass, and I have not been particularly concerned with what the social consensus was. My discomfort with INFP-ness, which led to suppositions of INFJ-ness was my fondness for the hard sciences and the ease with which I disagree with others. - Perhaps it is time for me to leave your lovely forum, and return to my gauze-filled home s/o.
I tease because I love.

 

[Resolution]

I'm not as snappy with the functions as the other guys are, but I can say this. Elemmire, when I read your post, I almost feel like I'm reading my own.

Welcome to the INFJ boards ^^

And let's try not to disagree about something big... because... i rarely lose either :wink:

 

[Razare]

AlinaMarie - I spent a lot of time on the old INFP forum that was taken down. I can say with great certainty from your post alone that you are not an INFP if everything you said is true. There's always the possibility of subconsciously trying to be an INFJ, but I'll take your word that this is not the case.

You are not an INFP, but it's possible you might be something else too. I wouldn't stop at INFJ, but consider that in a list of possibilities. The problem is the INFJ description is going to fit you the best and so you'll be tempted to just go with that. The descriptions can lie, so beware.

INFJ, ISTP, ESTP, and ENFJ's all use the same four cognitive functions. INFJ's can also be mistaken for INTJ's and INTP's, but I don't think you'll have to worry about that.

I think you're more likely an ENFJ, but INFJ is possible. ENFJ's will often see themselves as introverts when they compare themselves to others.

 

[Razare]

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm still slightly stumped by the one line about INFJs coming off as cold though, because that is usually not me. I'm almost always described as "nice", "sweet", or "kind" etc.

Strongly consider ENFJ before you decide on INFJ.

INFJ's might be manipulative... ENFJ's *are* manipulative, but they always see it as being so in a nice way without hurting.

INFJ's have strong opinions, but me personally, I am not going to waste my breath arguing my opinions to idiots who wont even listen in the first place... hence "cold". We wont like a person but we wont say why, either. ENFJ's will get in your face about it and stand for it strongly.

I want to be nice to people occasionally, but I have difficulty focusing my efforts into coherent positive interaction. ENFJ's do this effortlessly.

 

[vel]

I think this makes up my mind for me, but the other way. One thing I have never thought was, this is not normal by outside norms... I have always looked inside myself and to select sources of authority for my moral compass, and I have not been particularly concerned with what the social consensus was. My discomfort with INFP-ness, which led to suppositions of INFJ-ness was my fondness for the hard sciences and the ease with which I disagree with others. - Perhaps it is time for me to leave your lovely forum, and return to my gauze-filled home s/o.
I tease because I love.

It is not something that you sit and actively think about as INFJ: "is this normal by outside norms or not?". INFJs just like INFPs simply get a feeling of right or wrong, good or bad. The cognitive functions work at lightening speed, as fast as it takes your neuron cell to trade some impulses around, and voila - the judgement is made. It is not something that you'd sit there and think about for hours or even minutes. How you arrive at the judgement is not a conscious process.

But the object referenced in making this lightening speed judgement are different for INFPs and INFJs - INFJs reference the outside, the society and culture that they live in, and so whatever decision INFJs make gets checked against "is this good for the group of people that I belong to, are any of their values being violated by this" - this is objective feeling that is extraverted and aimed at the people outside of INFJ. Fe wants outer harmony. For INFPs the decisions that they make get check against "is this good for me as individual, will any of my own values be violated by this" - this is subjecting feeling that is introverted and aimed at the individual himself or herself. Fi wants inner harmony.