Personality Cafe banner

Was this thread helpful?


  • Total voters
    14
  • Poll closed .
1 - 20 of 547 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
790 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Of course, I do like a few INFJ's. I don't hate them at all; but SOME INFJ's are too quick to well, Judge.
Am I misreading them or Is this just me?

I see a few of them just butting into situations that have nothing to do with them.
I know INFP & INFJ temperaments are supposedly similar; but I can't even see myself understanding them.
I hardly understand them, is it maybe because I'm not one of them?

Once again this thread isn't to start bullshit, Its an honest question.
If you STILL think I am trying to start bullshit, Don't answer my thread, okay?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
132 Posts
this is a common issue that both types have with each other, you're far from the only person who's said this. their Ni makes their judgments seem like they come from nowhere, whereas INFPs have a tendency to reject group judgments/opinions or standards in favour of their own, which equally has the appearance of lacking evaluation. the two types in theory are only similar by virtue of their temperaments. other than that, INFPs and INFJs arguably have an entirely different approach to life even though their roads often lead to the same ends.

some people don't like others who are too different from themselves. it all depends on what you're looking for in others and what you're comfortable with. In any conflict there is ignorance both ways so perhaps understanding them needs a fresh perspective. in my experience, some INFJs have been incredibly frustrating initially but after a while it became clear that they were as beautiful as any other NF. it can be quite humbling to observe how things would manifest if you were to approach the world in such an alternate light and learn from them about new ways in which life can be explored.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
I do like INFJs and INFPs, but from my perspective, you guys aren't very much alike. The difference between P and J preferencers is huge. It doesn't really matter if you share other cognitive functions or related ones, that last preference changes the expression completely. It's like saying INTJs and INTPs are similar, we are so chalk and cheese on several levels.

It's also common for J types to come across as sticking their nose in where they aren't invited and coming across as judgey. You see what I just did there? You aren't asking for my opinion and I gate crashed your thread just because I thought I had insight into this and here I am being all judgey and stuff. :laughing: We're not trying to be arses, we just can't resist an interesting conversation and since we're rarely invited we just show up of our own accord.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,446 Posts
Well, I'm actually quite fond of INFJs, I married one and all. I get what you mean about them being really quick to pass judgement, often without sufficient data to make an informed and reasonable opinion, (thats true of her and the couple of other INFJs I know at least). I've always found it a bit ironic that while my background includes the military, teaching martial arts and various other bits and bobs of violent and conflict related activities the people who know us well, kids friends, pets etc. all see her as the scary one. It seems that when faced with a problem I want to understand it, she wants to flatten it (not in the physical sense). When faced with a sort of conflict my tendency is to analyze it and try to diffuse it through diplomacy, hers in many cases is to smash into it headlong full of righteous fury.
The flip side of this is that she and I suspect many other INFJs will without hesitation take on seemingly insurmountable issues without hesitation, making other peoples issues their own and crusading on their behalf. Some years back, when we lived in an economically mixed ares in the city they were opening up a new school, the school board zoned the district in such a way that the poor kids wouldn't go to this school even though they were closer physically than the better parts of the neighborhood. When we found out we were both offended by this, my idea was to find out their reasoning and appeal to the school board, contact city council etc., she got on the phone and started calling newspapers, tv journalists etc., due to her efforts the zoning was fixed the same day. So I get how INFJs can be hard to deal with with at times, but they can also be sort of an inspiration in my experience.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,058 Posts
My wife's best friend is INFJ. I don't know why the J means Judgement, but while I know she means well but her default setting in conversations is "sassy sarcasm". Fun when I'm drinking, and we want to make unfair judgments of everything on TV, but would get grating after a while.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,822 Posts
I only know two consciously, and one of them I didn't know very well. The other is/was my best friend. I find myself drifting a bit from her lately. And I think another friend could be but she's not into the test like that.

Anyhow I kind of get what you mean. They understand me better than most I know. But I do find myself wishing they wanted to expand their minds a bit more. Our discussions are pretty superficial though it may not appear to be so on the outside. Same goes for ENFJs I know. But I don't wanna say too much, because if it's about Ni, my SO is an INTJ and he doesn't mind having the sorts of discussions I find stimulating.

I also met an INFJ online. I showed him a video I made with my INFJ "best" friend and he commented on how she seemed more confident in what she was saying (something I struggle to be because I only ever have hunches about whether or not anything I'm doing or saying makes any sense,) and how she was more outwardly expressive. This is something that helps create the divide between us when we talk amongst ourselves, though I'm kind of an ass because in an effort to show her things aren't black and white, I sometimes don't take in account everything she's saying and sound like a fool : / so, two-way street.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
701 Posts
I've noticed there's really a very broad scale of different individuals among the INFJ's. I click with some amazingly, and with others - it's okay - I'm not fond of all of them. Yet, I have yet to meet one I didn't like, they're great people. I also like how good they (not all, but many of them) are at connecting and socializing with people, and choose me to be friends with me. :kitteh:
It's nice when they reach out to you in the beginning stage of friendship. I mostly get along with them well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,120 Posts
Of course, I do like a few INFJ's. I don't hate them at all; but SOME INFJ's are too quick to well, Judge.
Am I misreading them or Is this just me?

I see a few of them just butting into situations that have nothing to do with them.
I know INFP & INFJ temperaments are supposedly similar; but I can't even see myself understanding them.
I hardly understand them, is it maybe because I'm not one of them?
This video by an INFJ may expalin a few things.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,454 Posts
Of course, I do like a few INFJ's. I don't hate them at all; but SOME INFJ's are too quick to well, Judge.
Am I misreading them or Is this just me?

I see a few of them just butting into situations that have nothing to do with them.
I know INFP & INFJ temperaments are supposedly similar; but I can't even see myself understanding them.
I hardly understand them, is it maybe because I'm not one of them?

Once again this thread isn't to start bullshit, Its an honest question.
If you STILL think I am trying to start bullshit, Don't answer my thread, okay?
you'd be so fond of me, i betcha billion dollars.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,838 Posts
We may tend to judge quickly, but in their healthiest of states, they also tend to judge accurately while still allowing themselves to hide their assessments and accept the individual's personal journey.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
345 Posts
I find it difficult to get along with anyone with Fe as their dominant or auxiliary function, which includes INFJs.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kasitera

·
Registered
Joined
·
507 Posts
well, you're not alone dear. the first time i got in this forum, i encountered an INFJ (for the first time) who's really pessimistic and cynical about INFPs. he cursed us all. making me think that INFJs are really difficult people to deal with. just when i admire their brilliance and i almost want to be a J than a P, this one completely changed my mind. so yeah, i argued and defend my type from that judgmental, rude, arrogant, and all. i know one person shouldn't be a representative of the whole type and i'm careful of making generalization but since that bad experience i avoid them and feel like i don't want to talk to them or any of them anymore, sorry. though i admit encountered 'some' healthy ones. yet, i'm afraid to trust. couple of days ago, i encountered a pessimistic and judgmental INFJs again, and they were two of them who bashed out again. whew! sometimes i dont know what's wrong with them. i don't get their logic. they will just post on my thread and spew out venom, make judgement and screw everything up. they will get into my nerves and have the nerve to call me 'idiot'? (hello! what was my fault to you? anything i did wrong?).

nevertheless, this one describes the differences between the two types...
INFP vs INFJ: 5 Surprising Differences To Tell Them Apart : Personality Hacker

i just hope someday i will know an INFJ who can change my views about them. they created a bad account on me since then. -_-
 
  • Like
Reactions: frugivore

·
Banned
Joined
·
790 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
well, you're not alone dear. the first time i got in this forum, i encountered an INFJ (for the first time) who's really pessimistic and cynical about INFPs. he cursed us all. making me think that INFJs are really difficult people to deal with. just when i admire their brilliance and i almost want to be a J than a P, this one completely changed my mind. so yeah, i argued and defend my type from that judgmental, rude, arrogant, and all. i know one person shouldn't be a representative of the whole type and i'm careful of making generalization but since that bad experience i avoid them and feel like i don't want to talk to them or any of them anymore, sorry. though i admit encountered 'some' healthy ones. yet, i'm afraid to trust. couple of days ago, i encountered a pessimistic and judgmental INFJs again, and they were two of them who bashed out again. whew! sometimes i dont know what's wrong with them. i don't get their logic. they will just post on my thread and spew out venom, make judgement and screw everything up. they will get into my nerves and have the nerve to call me 'idiot'? (hello! what was my fault to you? anything i did wrong?).

nevertheless, this one describes the differences between the two types...
INFP vs INFJ: 5 Surprising Differences To Tell Them Apart : Personality Hacker

i just hope someday i will know an INFJ who can change my views about them. they created a bad account on me since then. -_-
You know the whole time I have been posting upon this form, I have gotten into fights with nothing but INFJ's?
I swear to god, If I am arguing with someone It gets to the point where I know they are INFJ's.

One time, I was talking about being extremely defensive of the ones I love & this heartless as fuck, (not saying EVERY INFJ is heartless) INFJ came and totally took how I felt and watered it down with their judgement. God thats's so fucking annoying. I don't hate any of you INFJ's; but come on now, STOP THAT.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,436 Posts
Forgive me, but this tread is silly. There are individuals of all types who judge too quickly or have some other negative trait. The problem emerges from INFJs having a very positive stereotype in this community that obviously doesn't apply to all of them, and so the disconnect occurs.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
790 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Forgive me, but this tread is silly. There are individuals of all types who judge too quickly or have some other negative trait. The problem emerges from INFJs having a very positive stereotype in this community that obviously doesn't apply to all of them, and so the disconnect occurs.
Its not silly to the ones whom have actually had their dealings with them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
757 Posts
Heeey, random thought: Do you think Enneatype might have anything to do with it..? Like I mean with different INFJs or something...

Anyway, my SO is an INFP, and we're pretty opposite on some things. But...he's like the Yin to my Yang. We balance each other out. He keeps me grounded from charging head first into things, while I help drive stuff sometimes (not forcefully, I just get excited about stuff haha like: "Ohhh this is gonna be so great!").

Or like...the Fe Fi clashes sometimes. Eek, conflict. But it's like... he and I are after the same things, but we take into consideration different bits. ...I think the key is for both of us to remain open minded.

I feel like I'm not making sense. I've just had coffee so I'm rambling..

But anyway, all of this is just to say: I think I understand where you're coming from haha. But...we're not all so bad...I hope T.T ...Maybe we plum just don't get along with some people, of any type. Which is okay, too.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
790 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Heeey, random thought: Do you think Enneatype might have anything to do with it..? Like I mean with different INFJs or something...

Anyway, my SO is an INFP, and we're pretty opposite on some things. But...he's like the Yin to my Yang. We balance each other out. He keeps me grounded from charging head first into things, while I help drive stuff sometimes (not forcefully, I just get excited about stuff haha like: "Ohhh this is gonna be so great!").

Or like...the Fe Fi clashes sometimes. Eek, conflict. But it's like... he and I are after the same things, but we take into consideration different bits. ...I think the key is for both of us to remain open minded.

I feel like I'm not making sense. I've just had coffee so I'm rambling..

But anyway, all of this is just to say: I think I understand where you're coming from haha. But...we're not all so bad...I hope T.T ...Maybe we plum just don't get along with some people, of any type. Which is okay, too.
Its all good! I just kept having non-stop issues with the INFJ's here I felt like I needed to address. Its really not a big deal; however I'm sure SOMEONE was going through it with me. Yeah, I try not to use Enneagram all that much; but it could have some dealings with it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 95410
1 - 20 of 547 Posts
Top