[Radiant Flux]

I've noticed that in every day life, I don't really feel anything. I don't feel betrayal, or trust, and it seems that one of the only weak emotions I feel is nervousness and admiration, but even that usually has it's roots in my brain [like, wow, she's so smart and interesting, she intimidates me because of this].

I don't really feel happy alot of times, but I don't feel sad either. It's almost as if I'm numb. But, I do laugh at people or jokes or what ever, but I can only feel true happiness if something really good happens [like if I would be able to get to meet an actual quantum physicist or a self tested intp who gets into typing]

Of course, I cry like any other human, but even when I'm crying I don't really feel anything, I just know I'm sad because I'm crying. Is this what it's like for Feelers and I've just never noticed it, or is this some sort of INTP defect?

Perhaps I'm over thinking this too much, and this is really what emotions are, just our body's reactions to certain events, and all of the feeling is in out head.

*sigh* Some help here?

 

[Dupree]

Every INTP I've met, and myself, fit close to all symptoms of depression but never really feel depressed. Numb is a good word. Moments of genuine happiness come maybe once every week and are dully short-lived. Inferior Fe may come out of its shadow only to accommodate ourselves in the external world, acting as our bluff. I've wondered about my almost non-existent feelings also. I always ask myself, "this is it? These are emotions?" It's not just that they feel unnatural but they don't really make me feel any better or worse in my future behavior and don't leave a trail behind. In the rare case I feel, I can't tell exactly what it is I'm feeling so I'm always indifferent. I remember getting arrested once and while my friend was shitting his pants, I felt completely normal and at ease. I thought, I don't feel anxious, nervous, or angry because there's no point. All I can do is live with this now. It's kind of robotic... I can't imagine these are the same types of feelings that feeling types deal with.

 

[Trainwreck]

Is there sort of a languidness that comes with it? I'd say I'm not very emotional but that doesn't bother me. Are you sure you aren't feeling anything negative?? This doesn't sound just like pensive indifference to me, it seems like you might be in pain (emotionally).

I'm just wondering for clarification purposes. I mean I have a rather important job interview tomorrow and do you wanna know what I feel about it? Nothing, which is something that has driven all my friends insane with jealousy, the fact that I never stress about the commonplace but yet I'm always blubberin' (usually when drunk) about existence being a cruel absurd joke or something.

Cuz I went through some harsh stuff in highschool where sometimes I felt numb, but there was definitely a feeling of impending doom with it the majority of the time. So I'm just wondering if you're sure that you aren't experiencing something negative the majority of the time?

 

[Vahkrin]

Well, I can't offer much explanation, but I do relate. I've come to simply accept it- Emotions aren't, after all, all there is to life/reality. It has to do, I'm sure, with simply being INTP and that whole Fe thing ('scuse my MB ignorance xP ), not that it being part of our type makes it any better/less of an issue.

Here's one possible explanation that my brain spewed out:

I once read an article that theorized why some people are dissatisfied with their lives. It pointed out that many people seem to think that life should have steep ups and downs, like the structure of a drama, while in fact the average lifetime has far shallower curves. Maybe that's what happens to some of us with emotion. The concept of it has been so exaggerated in our minds that we begin to feel as if we're emotionally stunted, just as the dissatisfied person feels their life is dull and shallow.

 

[Radiant Flux]

Is there sort of a languidness that comes with it? I'd say I'm not very emotional but that doesn't bother me. Are you sure you aren't feeling anything negative?? This doesn't sound just like pensive indifference to me, it seems like you might be in pain (emotionally).

I'm just wondering for clarification purposes. I mean I have a rather important job interview tomorrow and do you wanna know what I feel about it? Nothing, which is something that has driven all my friends insane with jealousy, the fact that I never stress about the commonplace but yet I'm always blubberin' (usually when drunk) about existence being a cruel absurd joke or something.

Cuz I went through some harsh stuff in highschool where sometimes I felt numb, but there was definitely a feeling of impending doom with it the majority of the time. So I'm just wondering if you're sure that you aren't experiencing something negative the majority of the time?

Um, sometimes yes I suppose I do get an odd feeling that I can't entairely name, but it certainly isn't happiness. It's sort of like a lack of meaning, or a loss? *uncomfortable*

It'll happen at random times, when I'm alone, but I can't place it. Perhaps there is somesort of underlying problem with my life? I thought it was just a melancholic/intp thing to only feel happy once in a while, then feel numb and sometimes feel bad about life?:sad:

 

[Trainwreck]

Um, sometimes yes I suppose I do get an odd feeling that I can't entairely name, but it certainly isn't happiness. It's sort of like a lack of meaning, or a loss? *uncomfortable*

It'll happen at random times, when I'm alone, but I can't place it. Perhaps there is somesort of underlying problem with my life? I thought it was just a melancholic/intp thing to only feel happy once in a while, then feel numb and sometimes feel bad about life?:sad:

Rubbish! (as far as thinking you're always going to feel that way)

I think our type is prone to this sort of thing. There have been many times in my life I've felt negative or strange in ways I just couldn't explain, and ultimately I never could find an underlying cause which drove me absolutely insane. It got to the point of a nervous break down in high school which for me was quite humiliating at the time but I'm more than alright with sharing it with anyone nowadays (seeing as I'm 25 now). The one thing I can assure you of is that it will pass and you will find happiness despite your own doubts about your own ability to feel things.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on something vivacious not being an feelingl type; however, I know feeling types are missing out on the places my imagination has brought me, even if they are dark places from time to time. It seems as INTPs we swap getting jerked around on a regular basis by the small things in life to having to put up with a steady feeling of meaninglessness about life as a whole because ultimately all of our realizations will be lost when this ride comes to a close, which is very sad, and it should make someone feel sad, the feeling is not unwarranted and it's okay. It's normal and you certainly aren't alone. It passes.

I'd recommend a new hobby or finding something intriguing to learn. Maybe it's bad advice to suggest a distraction, but ultimately you'll find that you can power through it and you will find yourself feeling things again and like life does in fact have meaning. Just put yourself out there.

Hope this helps and I hope its a speedy road to a time when your analysis is no longer upon yourself but upon something wonderful and engaging

 

[LadyO.W.BernieBro]

This is me, totally.

Every now and again I'll start Googling to try and figure out what the f*ck is wrong with me, and a few months ago it became very obvious to me that much of my behavior resembles Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's very much resembles the INTP type, as well. Most Aspies type as either INTP or INTJ.

It's related to ADHD, which I was diagnosed with at a young age. Having less emotions isn't the only thing I can relate with, it's the obsessive behaviors and attention to detail, odd interests, intense focus on subjects of interests, propensity for factual knowledge, physical clumsiness, sensory issues, face blindness(very mild for me but still present) social anxiety, and just general *strangeness*, eccentricity, if you will. Most people with AS also have ADHD or some show signs of it, that'd definitely be me BUT I always knew that I didn't fit in with most other ADHDers. I am VERY organized in some areas and I appreciate and implement attention to detail, really can't understand it when other people seem to have no respect for these kinds of things.

Anyway, I hung out on a forum for people with AS and still do a little, I can relate to pretty much everything these people say. They describe feeling the way you feel, I call it depersonalization in my case, as most of the time I am almost completely void of REAL emotion and just fake it. It's like the part of my brain that is supposed to feel has been hijacked by the part that wants to learn and process information.

I could go on, forever. I REALLY do think it's amazing how similar the INTP/J types are to Asperger's behavior, you should research that. in reality, I probably couldn't be diagnosed with the *disorder* because I know how to act *normal*. Some Aspies can do this as well but they were usually diagnosed earlier in life when the traits were more apparent, and have learned to adapt. I was a STRANGE CHILD, I think if I'd grown up during this decade I may have indeed been diagnosed with it, but now I just come off as a little eccentric, and I have learned to socialize/earn respect from people and not come off as so strange that I get bullied anymore. Haven't had those kinds of problems since middle school.

I kind of know that it probably is something I have, but very mildly. It's NOT an "all or nothing" deal, many people seem to believe this. I also don't consider it to be a disorder in milder cases. It's simply a different way of thinking. I'm pretty comfortable with who I am most of the time so I'm not going to attempt force a diagnosis out of a psychiatrist who probably wouldn't take me seriously, because I do seem *normal* for all intents and purposes. The fact is that I simply don't suffer as much as those who do not seem normal and haven't learned how to get by in society, so I really don't have too much to complain about.

 

[cdnwolverine]

Mortimer;

It's funny that you'd mention the Asperger's thing as about 2-3 years ago I had posted upon another forum regarding that exact same topic stating "How do you know?" And while I more or less got ridiculed on some levels -- basically stating I missed the 'aspie' boat about tech people self-diagnosing aspergers.

I was also diagnosed as ADHD as a kid, and somewhat recently I went back to a psychlogist who pegged me the same way (inattention ADHD).

It used to really bother me, and I would think that there is something wrong with me and I would try to fix it. Of course, if this is all just personality then there is nothing to fix; you're just different and it just means you have to approach things differently -- the problem is, I think, if you accept the INTP personality as outlined, then it can also be easily mistaken (or just taken) for ADHD/Aspergers especially if there is a lot of cross over in symptoms -- lack of empathy, introverted, strange interests, etc.

And I think I've been a lot happier after I've stopped trying to fix something that doesn't need to be fixed and instead have been trying to learn how to work with it.

 

[LadyO.W.BernieBro]

Mortimer;

It's funny that you'd mention the Asperger's thing as about 2-3 years ago I had posted upon another forum regarding that exact same topic stating "How do you know?" And while I more or less got ridiculed on some levels -- basically stating I missed the 'aspie' boat about tech people self-diagnosing aspergers.

I was also diagnosed as ADHD as a kid, and somewhat recently I went back to a psychlogist who pegged me the same way (inattention ADHD).

It used to really bother me, and I would think that there is something wrong with me and I would try to fix it. Of course, if this is all just personality then there is nothing to fix; you're just different and it just means you have to approach things differently -- the problem is, I think, if you accept the INTP personality as outlined, then it can also be easily mistaken (or just taken) for ADHD/Aspergers especially if there is a lot of cross over in symptoms -- lack of empathy, introverted, strange interests, etc.

And I think I've been a lot happier after I've stopped trying to fix something that doesn't need to be fixed and instead have been trying to learn how to work with it.

Heh.

Yeah, people definitely think you're batshit crazy for considering it if you don't fit the kind of Asperger's they see on television or are not the female incarnation of Ben Stein. When I first started reading into it, I became obsessed pretty quickly (shocker) and have gathered a pretty decent understanding of it and a lot of information in the past few months.

When I realized that it really COULD be me, and probably IS to some degree, I thought about getting a diagnosis. It's really not easy and people seeking a diagnosis are often brushed off if they aren't *screaming* Asperger's. I'm too old for all of that, I've been through the wringer since I was young and have been misdiagnosed with different things in the past, including BPD and Bipolar Disorder. I decided to stop trying to figure it out for years. I've been reasonably sane since I've been about 20, the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder no longer holds true for any doctors I've seen in the past 6 years.

Since it really is just a different way of thinking and since I'm not that severely *afflicted*, I've pretty much accepted it. I still have the struggles with anxiety and feeling like I'm from another planet but now that I know what it IS, I actually feel a lot better. I tell you, for years, YEARS, I had no idea what was different about me. I really didn't know if anyone else had "it". I like the way I think and there are positive aspects as well. I choose not to be medicated, because I don't want to change the way I am, but before I had an explanation, it was really killing me. I was sure that I was just going to lose my mind one day, my father is a schizophrenic(there is emerging research that strongly suggests that there is a genetic link between autism and schizophrenia, interestingly enough), and I thought that just might have been *lingering* my whole life, slowly creeping up on me. AS is sort of like teetering on the edge, you just never really go off the deep end xD

 

[darksoul]

I saw a psychiatrist after overdosing on xanax. She came up with at least eight different diagnoses. Schizotypal personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder (?). Major clinical depression. Bipolar disorder. I thought I was beyond screwed up. So, whenever she added a new drug to my already large cocktail of medication, I'd just give in. After a few hazy years, I cut her loose. By then, my work performance suffered considerably cos I was too drugged to even remember my name. Looking back, had I known my frustration stemmed from being a misunderstood INTP, I'd never have put myself through the drug therapy. It was a complete waste of time; only further me from the truth. :frustrating:

 

[Pacifique]

i envy you, seriously! i no longer want to be slaved to my fickle fickle difficult intense feelings >_<

 

[ObsidianShadow1]

I have two emotions: contentment and stress.