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That amazing thing is Dear Sugar. It's an advice column, but before you go all ugh advice columns just read. I love Sugar with my whole heart, and she's responsible for all kinds of wonderful personal epiphanies involving love and life and self-acceptance. It all sounds very cheesy, but as INFPs I hypothesize that we like cheesy, right? Cheesy is good.

Anyways, I'm broadcasting her to you all because she is one of the best things that I've ever ever found via the internetz. She might not be your cup of tea, but since I've found myself so enamored with her for the past year, I thought it couldn't be a bad idea to share. To me, she and her writing/messages are beautiful and raw and touching. I've outlined a few of my favorites of hers below, along with a quote and a short description. Enjoy!

#64 Tiny Beautiful Things, What Sugar would say to her 20-something self

"You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else."

#82 The God of Doing It Anyway, A Christian writer asks if writing about Christianity will be okay (in Sugar's reply there's a reference to a letter written by Elissa Bassist that is here)

"Don’t worry. Don’t apologize. Don’t cower behind the defeated security of there is no 'room for someone like me'. There isn’t room for any one of us. It’s up to you to make a place for yourself in the world. So get to work."

#80 The Ordinary Miraculous, A Q&A on love

"She told me that at a certain point we get to decide who it is we allow to influence us. She said, 'I could allow myself to be influenced by three men who screwed me against my will or I could allow myself to be influenced by van Gogh. I chose van Gogh.' I never forgot that."

#72 The Future Has An Ancient Heart, A graduation speech

"You’re going to be all right. And you’re going to be all right not because you majored in English or didn’t and not because you plan to apply to law school or don’t, but because all right is almost always where we eventually land, even if we fuck up entirely along the way."

#44 How You Get Unstuck, A letter-writer asks how to get unstuck from the death of her daughter

"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live though it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal."

#55 The Empty Bowl, A letter-writer asks about severing their relationship with an abusive parent

"I said you were strong and brave to stop communicating with your father because you did something many people can never do. You set a boundary. You decided that you will not be mistreated and you acted upon that decision. That choice was born of anger and hurt. The territory beyond it is born of healing and transformation and peace—at least it is if you’d like to have a smashingly beautiful life."

#57 That Ecstatic Parade, A gay letter-writer asks for advice on how to deal with his homophobic parents

"It didn’t just get better for them. They made it better. Each and every one of those people rose at a moment in their lives—one that is very much like this moment in your life, Suffocated—and at that moment they chose to tell the truth about themselves instead of staying “safe” inside the lie. They realized that, in fact, the lie wasn’t safe. That it threatened their existence more profoundly then the truth did. That's when it started to get better for those folks. When they had the courage to say, This is who I am even if you’ll crucify me for it."

This is a very long post, and those are a lot of favorites. But Sugar's writing has profoundly touched me, and I hope it touches you as well. Granted, I would not recommend her column if you don't like to cry, because she's brought me to tears more than a few times. And these posts are just a small sampling of what she's written about, so if you like it, there's more where that came from. Have a wonderful night! :)
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