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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm an INFJ.I am one of the best behaved students in her class. I don't cause any trouble. I have this ENFP (She told me she was) teacher that is very mean. She singles out a couple people to be her "teachers pets" and then she singles out a couple of other people to be her "victims". She marks me wrong on answers for questions (I caught her once) that I actually got right. She is rude to me, gives me mean looks, and tries to ruin my language arts class. Which, ends up with my grade a little lower than it should.

How do I deal with her? How do I get her to stop? Anyone understand where she is coming from?
 

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I'm an ESL teacher for half the year, and it's in a formal classroom setting though. I absolutely pick "favourites" but it shouldn't be seen that way, with me at least. I pick the students that put in the most effort and glorify them, exalt them, reward them with candy and praise.

But yes, on the flipside of the coin are the student's in "Moby's Doghouse" (the list of which written on my board) These students are refused candy rewards, often have to have long time-outs at lunch hour, and are refused even a smile from me. It takes major effort improvement to get out, but they CAN get out.

It may sound mean, but teaching especially in my private school is a results-based business for the teachers. All students get massive improvement each 2 month camp or you're instantly fired when their test results come back. Extreme? I'm not so sure, remember I'm basing this on EFFORT which is pretty easy to judge. I've survived two complete purges of all the other less successful teachers over my four years there because my students learn. Period. One way or another.

Are you sure your teacher is an ENFP though? Unless a confirmed test I would hesitate to accuse that person. I would also probably say my way of teaching might not seem so xxFx but I do care about my students a lot, and I hope for the world for them but remember when I was a kid I didn't realize how important education was.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yes, she took the test and got ENFP.

I am one of her best students though. She has no reason to not like me, but she does. There is one person deserving to be in her "Dog House". And the person that is her "Teacher's Pet" is one of the worst students in her class. If she was the best student, and I was one of the worst, then I would not mind her treating me like this. But, it is the opposite.
 

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I'm a high school teacher as well, and if it really is the way that you're describing it, then this isn't a type thing, it's a "she's a bad teacher" thing. Believe me, there are tons of students I don't like, but they're the ones who cause trouble, misbehave, don't try at all, etc. I would never dream of marking a right answer wrong just because I don't like a student (though if I catch a student cheating, that's another matter).

It depends on how things are at your school, but I would definitely tell your parents and have them bring it up with the teacher at least. Show your parents your questions and how you were marked wrong when they were right. You should also try to talk to the principals at your school and have your parents talk to them as well...if needed, you could even have them present at a parent/teacher conference.


What's frustrating to me is all of the idiot parents and students that I have to deal with, and that the principals have to deal with. I'm talking about kids who cheat, or kids who don't try at all, and then have their parents try to blame me. Unfortunately, sometimes that leads to principals not taking students or parents seriously. However, if you have a good track record, and if you're doing well in all of your other classes, then it will be clearer to the principals that it's this teacher who's at fault, not you, so they're more likely to be on your side.

Again, it's different from school to school, but at least at my school, the principals have the power to step in and help in a situation like this.
 

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What kind of vibe do you give off in the classroom? Which students do you get along with? What kinds of questions do you ask the teacher? How do you try and participate in class? When talking to her one on one, what kinds of things do you say? What kinds of things do you talk about? Do you tend to prescribe answers or describe answers to questions she poses in class?

These might matter....not that they should or shouldn't, but they might very well.
 

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Oh, and what do you mean by "best?"
 

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What this teacher is doing to you is definitely unfair. I have been in your situation before and I will tell you something that worked for me.

ENFPs don't strike me as sadists... so it's up to you to communicate that she's hurting you by her mean-spirited teaching. Maybe muster up your courage... stick around after class... and when everyone else is gone, tell her, in detail, how she is making you feel. "I don't believe it is your intention to single me out and make me feel this way, but I just want it to stop."... something along those lines.

Chances are she isn't even thinking about the fact that what she's doing is mean and unfair.

If you tell her that, you will have demonstrated very strongly that what she's doing is hurting you... and if she has an ounce of empathy and professionalism, she should begin to treat you with more fairness and she'll remember your feelings before saying or doing something cruel.
 

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Just pointing out that ENFPs who have fallen to "the dark side" are mean-spirited, sadistic, and very manipulative. We can hope Wondersuek's teacher isn't like this, than she can be reasoned with.
 

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Jerks come in all types :frustrating:

Edit: That being said...I had one teacher who didn't like me for any reason that I could see. I got good grades her in class and participated etc etc etc. I had no clue what the problem was, but on a whim I went up to her before class started and apologized for getting off on the wrong foot and hoped we could start over. ...And then I continued doing what I was doing before....Suddenly my horribe citizenship grade shot up, and my good grades got better and her attitude towards me changed. It was weird, and I don't know what inspired me to do it, as I'm not one to apologize if I'm not sure what I'm sorry for (or if I'm sorry for that matter!) Sorry, I have no idea what type she was though....
 

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If she is truly an ENFP I would say that the only reason she could have for hating you would that upon first impression you gave her a vabe that rubbed her Fi the wrong way. Since Fi quickly decides what is evil/good quickly, it can jump to wrong conclusions if the framing of the observation is wrong. Perhaps, you were having a bad day and unconciously exhibited a facial expression that she deemed revelatory of your character. The way that I would approach this situation would be directly. In silence fi can create wild stories to support its biases, but once confronted it will have to answer with tangibly. Simply approach her after class and voice your concern. It would be wise to give off a vibe of honesty and inquisitiveness. You must also make sure that you don't come off as accusatory or selfcentered. Try to be as honest as possible but tactfully phrase your opinions and concerns.
If she is a mature person she will articulate the reason why she is displeased with you, then you can explain your perspective of the issue and let her reframe the opinion that she has about you.
If she is immature, she will deny everything and claim that you have delusions of grandure. If this happens, then simply say that you could be mistaken; there are other covert ways that she can damage your class experience. once alone she will have to face her actions and compare them to her Fi moral frame. Your honesty and candidness will make it harder for her to terrorize you because she can no longer create her own opinions about your character.
If all else fails, and she continues the abuse, then, perhaps, this person should not be teaching...
 

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Perhaps, you were having a bad day and unconciously exhibited a facial expression that she deemed revelatory of your character.
Well INFJs have a look that's been dubbed the "death stare". Apparently it looks pretty menacing.

But we like to call it the "screen saver" because it's our thinking face.
 

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Well INFJs have a look that's been dubbed the "death stare". Apparently it looks pretty menacing.

But we like to call it the "screen saver" because it's our thinking face.
:crazy: Screen Saver! That is Classic! :crazy:
 

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This is very interesting to me. I teach in a group environment and I'm not sure what benefit it would provide me to ruin a particular student's life. I am sorry you are receiving very confusing signals. But I think you may be reading too much into her behavior and misinterpreting her behavior. But I won't deny you the fact that you are having a difficult time and that you do need to communicate with her directly.

I'm an INFJ.I am one of the best behaved students in her class. I don't cause any trouble. I have this ENFP (She told me she was) teacher that is very mean. She singles out a couple people to be her "teachers pets" and then she singles out a couple of other people to be her "victims".
This statement right here doesn't help me to understand. It sounds like kids rumoring about the teacher's behavior. I go to school to teach and challenge my students. Not to make a soap opera. Please be very specific in how she "singles people out" to be "victims" and "pets".

She marks me wrong on answers for questions (I caught her once) that I actually got right.
I have made many mistakes as a teacher. And I've seen many of my teachers make mistakes. If your teacher did make a mistake on your paper, don't assume she did it because she didn't like you. Teachers are not perfect. You need to show her where she made a mistake and fight for your grade. This is a very important skill for you to learn. There will be other places in your life when you have to do this.

She is rude to me, gives me mean looks, and tries to ruin my language arts class.
Once again, please explain to me how she is "rude" to you? Was she abrupt? Did she ignore a question? And how exactly does she "ruin" your language arts class?

Which, ends up with my grade a little lower than it should.
Please connect that all for me. If there is a format and you know what is expected to receive a certain grade, there should be no question regarding the grade you receive. Let's say a teacher has a personal issue towards you, that still doesn't take away from her grading basis and criteria in which she grades. If there are any mistakes on your papers go to her. If you don't understand why you received a certain grade go to her. She has to explain it to you. Teachers can't grade based on a personal "like" or "dislike".

I am also not grading on "who is the most behaved in the class". I try to make my students aware that they are not trying to earn my "approval". I am there to teach. This isn't about liking someone. I see all my students as students. The ones who don't do their work, frustrate me. But it's hurting them more than it is hurting me so I certainly don't take it personally. I base my grades on their work. And if I can tell they are getting lazy, they get knocked down. Some of my sweetest "well behaved" students have been the hardest for me to teach. Simply because they think if they behave well and kiss my ass, that's enough for me to issue them a good grade. But it's not about that at all. They have to stop worrying about what I think of them, and just do their work. They don't score extra points for being "compliant" in class. I appreciate it. But I like it more if they are focused on themselves and their work.

I am there for them. They are not there for me.

If you feel your teacher's was rude or abrupt to you in anyway, you can tell her. I wouldn't stuff all of this inside and then make this into a bigger issue than it really is. I personally don't think your teacher has a personal vendetta against you. It just simply isn't worth it. If you are confused by her behavior towards you, talk to her about it. You should do it before you are no longer able to not overly emotioanl about it.
 
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