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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
An ENTJ And An INFP--Good Match Or No?

Alright, I didn't quite know where to put this but I'll go ahead and post it. If it's redirected by a mod, that's fine... 'Kay, my scenario is there's a young lady I'm interested in (obviously). I like many of her admirable qualities, one of which is she's a terrific listener with a quiet and modest demeanor. She has strong values and a liberal/reasonable mind and has an affinity for hanging with or attracting strong extroverted personalities though her's is reserved. She's an INFP and I was wondering how well does that personality type suit an ENTJ like myself. Anyone know?
 
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It's the perfect male female relationship. Think about it. YOu are the strong domineering male and she is the quiet, loving, affable female. Get her to do your dishes, make your sandwiches, press your shirts, take care of the children.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
From checking other personality type forums, it seems this pair meets a lot. Though not much was contributed other than personal experiences that honestly aren't of real assistance. I guess the traditional look's good, but I want a woman who will work with me and share common goals as to where we want the relationship to advance to. I don't like clingers who're dependent solely on my input. I would rather have a person who can formulate ideas on their own and if they'd like to get some perspective, I'd be more than willing to consider it.
 
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Yeah, in theory and my experience this is a great pairing :)

I know a married couple (male INFP and female ENTJ) that have a fantastic marriage, so it can definitely work. The INFP has a penchant for getting a bit lost in life, but that's not really an issue for the ENTJ. The respect each other's skills and approaches, but still see the world in the same way and can communicate that effectively.
 

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o_O its a tough one. I'm in a serious relationship with an ENTJ.

I wouldn't say its a 'perfect' match. He gets along much better with INTP gals - annoyingly well.
He also gets pretty frustrated at me for a lot of things - including my clingyness & insecurities.
I do support him well, stick by him, make his sandwiches, wash the dishes, iron the clothes lol though not always as consistently or as organised as he'd like.

It can work, we have come to a mostly happy understanding of each other in our relationship.
There were some serious rough patches though for both of us.

This is the thing that took work for us as well - communication. I find I can usually listen very well, but find it difficult to contribute logical opinions (I care more about people than logic). We seem to communicate on different wave lengths. The people minded INFP vs logic minded ENTJ.
The trouble is the ENTJ's harsh logic tends to steamroll over the INFP's caring opinions.
Try ask their input/viewpoint regularly & understand their point of veiw. Ask them if they are happy regularly. Hug them often.


I would also work better if the INFP perhaps has a bit of 'T' in them & not too sensitive, or you have a bit of 'F', which you may have by the looks there?
 

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In theory this is probably the greatest pairing*

I agree somewhat with deagleman too. He made his point in a more random about way.

One of you has strong morals. The other has ... well strength to fight for those morals. One of you like to be domineering. The other is extremely submissive.
 

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I thought the INTP / ENTJ was the perfect match in MBTI?

* Nevermind you're talking Eneagrams aren't you?


I guess we do balance each other out in a cool way.

It just seems to me that ENTJ's don't necessarily want 100% submissive - they seem to like 95% submission 5% stubborn spunk
 

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It's not the sensitive stuff that would bother me, but personally i know that i would have a hard time with such relationships, especially if the ENTJ is very intrusive and trying aggressively to take over my independence and tell me what i should be doing, how to organize my life and thinking on a personal level; i don't do it to others so i don't accept it from someone else, i'm much too freeminded for that. I would end up to become very stubborn, distant and pissed off in order to get me some fresh air, until i end up the relationship without any further explanations. I see it like someone slowly trying to strangle yourself by putting aside the spontaneity and the randomness which are big parts of the fun you get out of life as an INFP. Too much organization make me become kinda claustrophobic :p.

But with someone laid back and tolerant, i think it would be cool, i have several ENTJ friends and we get along just fine and respect each others point of view.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yeah, in theory and my experience this is a great pairing :)

I know a married couple (male INFP and female ENTJ) that have a fantastic marriage, so it can definitely work. The INFP has a penchant for getting a bit lost in life, but that's not really an issue for the ENTJ. The respect each other's skills and approaches, but still see the world in the same way and can communicate that effectively.
On your INFP statement, I assumed as much. Although, with her she does have a clear goal in mind which currently is to finish school and secure employment and quickly pay off her loans. I didn't go to college after high school but rather took some technical training. We do have similar views somewhat, or can at least reach a mutual agreement. As for values, they are almost in-sync I'd say but how we express them is different. (Mine being more domineering and critical usually.) She's a bit tough too so I like that about her. She's no push over.
o_O its a tough one. I'm in a serious relationship with an ENTJ.

I wouldn't say its a 'perfect' match. He gets along much better with INTP gals - annoyingly well.
He also gets pretty frustrated at me for a lot of things - including my clingyness & insecurities.
I do support him well, stick by him, make his sandwiches, wash the dishes, iron the clothes lol though not always as consistently or as organised as he'd like.

It can work, we have come to a mostly happy understanding of each other in our relationship.
There were some serious rough patches though for both of us.

This is the thing that took work for us as well - communication. I find I can usually listen very well, but find it difficult to contribute logical opinions (I care more about people than logic). We seem to communicate on different wave lengths. The people minded INFP vs logic minded ENTJ.
The trouble is the ENTJ's harsh logic tends to steamroll over the INFP's caring opinions.
Try ask their input/viewpoint regularly & understand their point of veiw. Ask them if they are happy regularly. Hug them often.


I would also work better if the INFP perhaps has a bit of 'T' in them & not too sensitive, or you have a bit of 'F', which you may have by the looks there?
There's no such thing as a "perfect match" but there is such a thing as having better chemistry with others. Now as for the mentioned "clingy and insecurities"... everyone has insecurities but it's what we do with them, or deal with them rather, that makes the difference. I don't mind knowing that my mate would have a need to be attached, it's flattering but I foresee jealousy being a problem as I am gregarious and extremely social and flirtatious. The support you give's awesome. I completely could go for that even if it's not as consistent. Gestures like that are great; warms my heart. And I do expect some serious rough patches but my determination's never to quit and a good thing for me is that I'm very blessed with being a good communicative person. The need to tend to feelings and emotions' good but there should be a balance. I'm not always inconsiderate of people's emotions as I trek on a logical solution to any problem so I can appease that need in good taste. And I can be insensitive so I will note the need to compliment and share my feelings for her physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thanks for the input.
I thought the INTP / ENTJ was the perfect match in MBTI?

* Nevermind you're talking Eneagrams aren't you?


I guess we do balance each other out in a cool way.

It just seems to me that ENTJ's don't necessarily want 100% submissive - they seem to like 95% submission 5% stubborn spunk
True. I like a submissive woman but not a woman that will bend over backwards. I need to know she believes as I believe otherwise I have a concern as to whether or not she can be counted on. Know what I mean? It's not always "do as I say," more like "feel as I feel". When the motivation's the same, there's better harmony.
 

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There's no such thing as a "perfect match" but there is such a thing as having better chemistry with others. Now as for the mentioned "clingy and insecurities"... everyone has insecurities but it's what we do with them, or deal with them rather, that makes the difference. I don't mind knowing that my mate would have a need to be attached, it's flattering but I foresee jealousy being a problem as I am gregarious and extremely social and flirtatious. The support you give's awesome. I completely could go for that even if it's not as consistent. Gestures like that are great; warms my heart. And I do expect some serious rough patches but my determination's never to quit and a good thing for me is that I'm very blessed with being a good communicative person. The need to tend to feelings and emotions' good but there should be a balance. I'm not always inconsiderate of people's emotions as I trek on a logical solution to any problem so I can appease that need in good taste. And I can be insensitive so I will note the need to compliment and share my feelings for her physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thanks for the input.
I love your attitude there - I think you two have great potential. Wish you all the best together Lending.


I need to know she believes as I believe otherwise I have a concern as to whether or not she can be counted on. Know what I mean? It's not always "do as I say," more like "feel as I feel". When the motivation's the same, there's better harmony.

Thats an excellent insight into you ENTJ's. The more I can understand you guys the better for my own relationship especially. Thankyou.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Yes - my husband was an ENTJ, or for strength emphasis eNtj to my INFP. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
That's wonderful. Makes me a lil' more confident and not to be self-centered, honestly makes me happy for you. I take it you and your Husband are still together?
 

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There's a girl on this site, clubbedwithspades, who is an ENTJ in a relationship with an INFP and she likes it, but says it is hard.

I'm in a relationship with an INFJ and I think it's more ideal for an ENTJ because she is organized and all of the problems clubbed reports with her INFP are mostly just P-J friction. That said, it was really hard for us to get on the same page at first, but since we did, it's been great.
 

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My husband is an ISTJ..

I'm still trying to figure out how we work together sometimes. We definitey see the world through two totally different lenses, but luckily we usually arrive at the same picture. We just get there via completely seperate paths.

Any other ENTJ's in relationships with ISTJ's?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Until he died - stroke last Feb. And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. We had 21+ great years. Feel free to PM me.
My condolences for your loss, really. Twenty plus years? Man, I've never been that committed to anything. :laughing: Not to mention I am only 25 years old. Thank you for your 'testament'.
There's a girl on this site, clubbedwithspades, who is an ENTJ in a relationship with an INFP and she likes it, but says it is hard.

I'm in a relationship with an INFJ and I think it's more ideal for an ENTJ because she is organized and all of the problems clubbed reports with her INFP are mostly just P-J friction. That said, it was really hard for us to get on the same page at first, but since we did, it's been great.
I'll consider it. I seem to attract Fs though. This particular INFP and a close female ENFP friend who shared interest in me, as I in her, but we felt it would be a distraction for our other pursuits. I know of one INTJ and I don't think she and I would be a good couple although she'd be a lot of fun. She's not submissive enough for my liking.

I'm still trying to figure out how we work together sometimes. We definitey see the world through two totally different lenses, but luckily we usually arrive at the same picture. We just get there via completely seperate paths.

Any other ENTJ's in relationships with ISTJ's?
So I guess at times it can be a lil' confusing? I hope the best for you and yours. :happy:
 

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I'll consider it. I seem to attract Fs though. This particular INFP and a close female ENFP friend who shared interest in me, as I in her, but we felt it would be a distraction for our other pursuits. I know of one INTJ and I don't think she and I would be a good couple although she'd be a lot of fun. She's not submissive enough for my liking.
Be careful equating an easy-going nature and gentleness with submissiveness. INFPs might be happy to go along with your lead most of the time, but we do have our own minds and when we put our foot down on an important issue, we're immovable.

I've never been in a relationship with an ENTJ so I can't tell you from personal experience what it would be like. I can see both bad an good in the relationship. I think there would be a lot of conflict, but a lot of growth for each person.
 

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Ya....know of any entj females? I've been trying to scout them out. Maybe they are all just trying to be more "feminine"
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Be careful equating an easy-going nature and gentleness with submissiveness. INFPs might be happy to go along with your lead most of the time, but we do have our own minds and when we put our foot down on an important issue, we're immovable.

I've never been in a relationship with an ENTJ so I can't tell you from personal experience what it would be like. I can see both bad an good in the relationship. I think there would be a lot of conflict, but a lot of growth for each person.
I'm aware of making such an assumption. If you look earlier in this thread, you'll see that I mention the INFP I know is "no push over". Which is partly why I do like her. She isn't afraid to state her opinion (if she's asked) and I care to be indulged by her thoughts as I find her perspective enlightening. She tends to have concrete thinking that considers the benefit for most involved in any situation. Though I do see the capacity for her to be over run by emotions. In surface level or first glance, she can seem a little aloof but that's fine with me. I assume that is an attempt on her part to not allow her feelings to cloud her judgment and dictate her actions. That's a smart woman, and she seems to be successful. She's never involved in any drama or in other people's affairs. She minds her own.

I too would predict some amount of conflict, although that's most relationships anyway. I've spoken with her recently and she still has one more year to go before she finishes her secondary schooling. She'd still need good time to adjust upon graduation so asking her out at the moment wouldn't be a good idea on my part. That, and I still have a five year plan that'll best be achieved while I am single. So there's no rush.

Ya....know of any entj females? I've been trying to scout them out. Maybe they are all just trying to be more "feminine"
No I don't, actually. I wonder what the interaction would be like if I did know one. :laughing:
 
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