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MOTM June 2012
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How do you experience Christmas time? Share a Christmas memory. It can be happy, sad, reflective, sweet, melancholy, sentimental or whatever comes to mind. Post your favorite Christmas songs. Be a scrooge and rant about how you hate the holidays. Post cute pics of snowmen or reindeer. Tell us what's on your Christmas list. Share your Christmas and all things Christmas!

 

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Since it's the end of the semester I can't enjoy it. I just feel depressed and have all this shite to do and the stress and consumerism makes me spend recklessly.

It also makes me feel lonely. Like Valentine's Day (in case you wanna know...yeah I hate that one too) makes people feel lonely? Christmas does that to me. Bc Christmas brings out the most sincere part of me, and my heart longs for someone to share that most intimate side of me. And love doesn't flourish in my life, although I try to give it, it's like giving handfuls of fertile soil and all I give is sand.
Perhaps getting closers to my family could help...but I've become so distant to them that my heart is guarded against them now. Whatever closeness I had with them as a child is more or less dissipated. Sadly.



If I can be truthful about what I want, the truth is I want to love someone. Even if they don't love me back. Such a reciprocal phenomenon couldn't happen to me, I think. And while I can ignore this any other time of the year, Christmas hits hard. Which is why I tend to be a huge scrooge around this time. I'm suppressing it all.

I love December and snow tho. Overall the Christmas vibe is so weeee.
 

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I got high on Christmas and saw gnomes everywhere.

I like celebrating Yule with other pagans. We had a Yule party and everyone exchanged gifts that they had made. I got a chandelier with candles from an asatru friend. He had made it himself through blacksmithing. I liked singing the christmas tree song with new realizations on the meaning behind it.
 

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Im sorry to start things foo this way, but.. I hate christmas. Its a bother putting up the decorations, its a bother taking them down. I hate all consummerism, giving gifts is a pain, and the thing I hate the most: Christmas music. I HATE christmas music.
But then again its kinda fun to watch my mom get drunk.
That's why you gotta find the less popular stuff.

My fav "Christmas" album, if you can call it that...

It evokes the mystery, wonder, light, darkness, and beauty of winter itself:


Well, I suggest going on YT to find the whole playlist.
 
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Mom came home from her job's Christmas party still intoxicated. Something I've only seen twice in my life. Super happy drunk, she was dancing about while she gushed about what happened at the party with her coworker friends. Dad sat on the couch to watch her with a small smile until he eventually got up, turned on the stereo, and danced with her until she was ready to fall asleep. Filled me with a sense of inner peace and gratitude. Plus, it was hilarious watching my mom.

I think it's important to hang out with friends/family/loved ones during Christmas. I don't get amped up about it like I used to, so the company really helps get into the mood. Decorations, music, passing around gifts and just talking and enjoying each other's company. Nothing too big. Just make a little Christmas themed bubble and fill it with love.

And eggnog.

Followed by hot chocolate by the fire.
 

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I remember believing in Santa as a child.

And the idea that someone friendly would break into your house to give you things, rather than like...feeling threatened about other things relating to homes and home ownership, and where are we going to live etc. who might be there...my mother was a single mom for as long as I can remember, and though it wasn't always explicit, there was an understanding that we were just trying to survive for most of my childhood...and she didn't always feel that safe, I'm sure some of that was felt by me as a child as well.

I remember one year the church gave us a box of food and things, and in it was a wooden toy crocodile--it wasn't painted or anything, but it had wheels, and you pulled it along. I remember taking it for 'show and tell' at my elementary, and my mom explaining to me that I didn't have to say that we got it from a box a church gave us. I didn't know--I was a kid--I just thought they were being nice, not that it meant anything weird about us that the church (which we never even went to) gave me presents one Christmas. It reminds me of the time she told me I didn't have to say how my mother and father were never married...that it wasn't necessary to mention in class when we were talking about our families and other kids were talking about their mothers and fathers...which again, was a sort of surprise--like why not? Is there something wrong with that? Should I be ashamed?

Needless to say, my mother was often afraid and sometimes I was too--we didn't always feel that secure in the places we lived and I think the idea of a night in which there is this benevolent superhuman who has no other motivation in life other than good children's happiness sounded kind of comforting. He just seemed like such a great guy, Santa.


Something so nice to imagine that there is some friendly elderly person who wants nothing more than to just give you whatever you want--flies all across the world just to do that, and does it equally for everyone.

When you are normally in bed, worried shitless about imaginary trolls and other disturbing and shitty examples of (human) nature, and your mom is sleeping on the couch worried about house fires or being homeless, there is this holiday where you get to leave sparkling lights on at night and then some good natured altruist (santa--he has a good nature even if kind of obsessive) is going to somehow appreciate you and value you, and even give you something for trying to be a good person.

I mean Santa's pretty nice and the reindeer are awesome, they can even fly. He must be able to turn himself into a tiny little mote of dust too, to get down chimneys and even figure out how to navigate modern houses through the crack under the door or maybe the wall heater slats...

I remember really wanting to see Santa Claus, but also the fear that because Santa Claus did not want to be seen, that if I did fail to fall asleep, that he might not show up and then it would be my fault. I somehow knew that Santa's presence depended on my willful unconsciousness and that if I paid too close attention, Santa would not appear.

But I did get a present from Santa (it was really my mom) as a child, on Christmas mornings, and sometimes we left cookies and milk out as well, for the reindeer and Santa. I never proved Santa does not exist, or did not visit my house.

You know, I would like to examine that toy crocodile now because I imagine maybe it was made by some elderly man (an old toymaker by definition, similar to Santa)--he probably sawed it himself out of wood.

It was unfinished and very simple--just plain wood with a string, and some wooden wheels. Nothing you would find in a store.

He must have put it in that box, knowing it would go to some unknown child...kind of like how Santa does not care the identity of the child aside from that they were 'good.' I think that in many ways, it's possible whoever made that to be added to the box my mother got that Christmas, was as likely to be Santa Claus as anyone. I wonder if I was extra good that year--probably not. Still...what a beautiful thing to do on his part. This imaginary man.

It was similar to this--but pulled with a string (I did not run my crocodile down ramps into cupboards though):


I never realized, as a child, how it was made. The effort put into it, that I can see more now as an adult, is really admirable, and probably made by Santa.
 

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One of my favorite Christmas presents that I ever got was a stuffed polar bear. I remember going to the mall with my mom one year and seeing a whole huge box of these bears. I really wanted one and hugged them for a long time. They were so huggy, squishy, soft and just the right size for my little arms. When we went back later, I remember them being gone and I was heart broken and so very sad. I woke up that Christmas morning and ran downstairs and my parents had gotten one for me and one for my brother. I named that bear Pookie after Garfield's teddy bear and it became my comfort toy. I still have him in my closet. His arms are all skinny at the place where they join his body and he is no longer snowy white but a dingy grey color. When I look at him, there is so much evidence of love of a child for a toy.
 

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Christmas just makes me feel lonely as well. I don't really have any family, or anyone to celebrate with, so I've never really did the whole holidays thing.

I kinda feel left out and I'm missing out on all the fun and joy. On the bright side, I don't have to buy any gifts and I can get gifts for my self! And the lights are awesome! Some people go all out and make their houses literal winter wonderland; their entire house covered in lights. And back when I had cable all my favorite cartoons were doing Christmas episodes along with the classic Christmas specials.

And last but not least, hot chocolate! I can pretend it's coffee so I can feel like an adult since my tastebuds are still 12 years old. I get this good sugar-free one, and it's gotta be made with milk, fuck putting water in hot chocolate
 

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I remember believing in Santa as a child.
Well, let's put it thusly: children need for little explanation, and they need to believe in one Santa.
Aged humans need many more explanations, therewith they need to construct, and believe in, numberless Santas. As they do.

I'd say the children's Santa is much truer than the myriad that adults need.
 

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Great thread title. I was curious how you guys experience or celebrate Christmas. Especially in a private way.

Not being close to family my own kind of Christmas I developed over the years. I love to spend the holidays for as long as one season.
I love it when Charlie Brown pops up in the background music when I'm at the mall. Buying Christmas coffee, Christmas soap =) Baking my own fruitcake and mincemeat, my style.
Surrounding myself with things I watched as a child, like frosty the snowman (stop motion). I also find religious imagery comforting around this time.

This year I did something new and bought myself some fancy box(es) of chocolates.
 

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My best Christmas memories have to do with snow and ice :) I miss it so much! It has barely snowed where I live since I was a kid!

Memory 1: I'm a kid. The family is over, and it's getting a bit late. We're all stuffed from dinner(especially me in my awkward pre-teen body), and the adults are playing the domino game Chickenfoot. I'm sitting on the cold tiles beside the back door. I'm not wearing any shoes, and there is a draft, but I'm mesmerized by the snow. That might have been the only White Christmas in my whole life. I'm captivated by the snowdrifts, and I'm pushing a broom through the dog door to clear the way for our spunky Pomeranian!

Memory 2: It was my senior year of high school, and we had just gotten out of school for the winter break. A friend of mine was having a sleepover that Friday evening for her birthday, so I went home, packed my things, and went over to her place. I was chronically early to things, back in the day, so I took in her old house as we hung out and waited for the other guests to arrive. I love old houses like that... After everyone arrived and we celebrated, ate, and goofed off, we went to the theater to watch a film.

I have no idea what movie we saw!! :laughing: But I remember that there was a thin layer of ice accumulating on the cars when the movie was over. The icefall was starting to pick up! But we were dumb (and amazing) teens. I didn't even check the weather forecast! We made it back safely, and we found out that it was going to ice all night. Oh well! We watched Tangled and Leap Year until we fell asleep in the living room. It felt so good... There was heat and a draft! Their Christmas tree was softly glowing all night, and there were two fluffy Chihuahuas that loved to make new friends :) The house smelled like cinnamon and old wood. It was fantastic.

Do you know that scene near the end of A Christmas Story where the kids went to bed on Christmas Day, and the parents are holding each other in the dim light of the Christmas tree, watching the snow fall, and soft holiday music is playing? That sleepover evening was my moment like this.

The next morning, I was the last to leave. It was Saturday, and I didn't have to go anywhere! So we hung out some more! When I did decide to leave, there was a layer of ice over everything outside!! And I love the way my car looks like with ice on it!! It was right then after her party that I devised the perfect way to get the ice off a car, where it just shatters away. I love de-icing people's cars!! When I punched the ice out of my side windows and broke it off the windshield, I was ready to leave. I said goodbye, and that was really the last time I got to have depth with that girl. I felt so serene driving home. I felt really unburdened and nonchalantly independent. It wasn't exactly Christmas(in fact, the ice and snow melted by the 25th), but I think that particular Christmas was a really great one. It was the calm before the storm.
 

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Most of my Christmas's I spent angry and guilty. This may sound weird but I hated being given gifts. My parents made me feel guilty for all of the things I demanded as a child. I didn't understand then, but that's pretty much what I remember. Being so excited for Christmas and crying in my room afterwards because I felt bad for making my mom spend "so much money". One year she bought me all four MyScene dolls I couldn't believe it, I felt so guilty and undeserving but I was happy.. which is confusing. I didn't understand the meaning... why I was being guilt tripped for liking my gifts. Spoiled fucker I was...

I remember one Christmas I tried to run away basically.. that failed.

I remember one Christmas we traveled back to my parents home country. I visited my then sick grandmother. I think this was probably the best Christmas experience.. Growing up, I conjured up ideas from sitcoms with grandmas and figured my grandmother would do the same: bake me cookies, give me gifts, tell my mom to be nice to me... She didn't do any of that when she was alive.. Of course there was a slight language barrier;nevertheless I can say that I bonded with my grandmother atleast once before she died. When I first entered her house, I cried. Even thinking about that moment makes me tear up. It was just overwhelming, I had this idea of her and she was actually real. I remember her telling me about the story of when she met my grandfather and strong her Christian faith was. Proud to say that she was always a woman of God regardless of her illness.

I'm really looking forward to being around my family. Since my childhood, we've had these Christmas lights with instrumental Christmas songs. I love to hear them.. I don't want to fight either just ... breathe.

Hated the holidays when I was younger but now that Im older I guess i'm more optimistic.
 

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I love Christmas! I like the combination of nostalgia and history along with the feeling of anticipation. I love christmas music. I love twinkle lights. I love decorating the house. I especially LOVE picking out a tree and carrying it to the house and setting it up and having a lovely tree in the house for a couple of months. I love christmas trees sooooo much! I love finding just the right little nook for each of my favorite ornaments while listening to the vienna boys choir and bing crosby and drinking eggnog or hot cider. I enjoy watching White Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the old animated one). I wish it would snow where I live, but if we get snow it's later in the winter, but I love all the christmas images of snow and snow flakes and icicles. I like getting together with family. I like the cozy feeling inside when it's cold out, especially with the added emotional warmth that people often have at this time. I like going to a candle light christmas eve service and singing silent night together in the quiet warm glow of hundreds of candles. I love gingerbread!

I do sometimes find gift giving/getting a bit frustrating though. I love it when I happen to see just the right thing for someone, but I don't like feeling obligated to get things for everyone even if I can't find anything they'd like. I do like when people use lists, it's so much easier when I know what someone actually wants instead of guessing, and I'd much rather they just get me something I've really been wanting than giving me other random stuff that while nice isn't really fulfilling a desire or need of mine. It's really hard when you know someone will feel hurt if you don't love what they got you, but.. it's hard to pretend.

I get rather annoyed with people who don't want to celebrate Christmas just because they're not Christians, because really it's become a CULTURAL tradition with plenty to enjoy without the religious aspect. I feel like even if you don't want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, it's certainly worth celebrating Generosity and Love isn't it? I think it's important to have cultural holidays that bring people together, that give people something to look forward to, and it's just good to celebrate sometimes. I think Christmas is a good reminder to let people know you care about them, even if you don't see them all that often.
 
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