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Discussion Starter #1
Hit to the point: I want to break up with my ESTJ boyfriend, but I just can't.

/* sorry for my bad english, I'm not a native speaker and still working on to be better */

there're so many point of view in my head:
- I need emotional support, while he can't give any to me.
- I don't like being controlled
- His standard invades my moral. Mine is being good to everyone, but to him it is an eye for an eye, which really makes me feel uncomfortable

what breaks me to be a dumper:
- I'm fine, healthy INFP by myself, no emotional support wouldn't be a problem (which is OBVIOUSLY is not true:crying:)
- being controlled is fine, and my inferior functions (Te, Si) should be improved
- Different values in life: fine too, it's his choice, not mine, and I respect his opinion

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ;__;
I can't think this through, and I have been dealing with this problem for over 3 years now. (being a couple for 4 years)
I cheated on him once, due to my depression and low self-esteem. (really regret that)
this time he forgives me, and I am back to him, being a healthier INFP, depression is cured, no more cheating and set my life goal to be a good girlfriend and a good future wife.

but then my idealistic dreams come up and ** WOAH, if I can find a kind, positive support man. (on which i found one actually, another INFP) my life would be better, and also better for my ESTJ boyfriend because he don't have to deal with my emotionally overflow again.

but stop there, I pause that thought and continue my life.
It is okay. not bad and quite good. I still love him as much as I do when we first date. Our chemistry matches each other so much. It is so fun being with him, we laugh all the time. We have such a tight bonds, get through all the troubles together.

I continue this cycle of thoughts for 3 years.

So, I really want to listen to your opinions, whether you are an INFP or not, it will be an enormous help to my vicious cycles.
Thanks
 

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My Infp friend was married to an Estj male for 2 years. It was not a good relationship - similar issues to what you describe. She found him to be very harsh, critical, selfish, unaffectionate and not emotionally supportive at all, and he thought she was too emotionally intense/irrational- so that caused a lot of conflict. They also had different views on finances - he being extremely frugal and practical, and she having expensive taste and driven more by her feelings and wants in relation to purchasing things.

I don't think infp and estj would be the most ideal relationship, personally....due to the above issues which I could see happening between the two types.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
My Infp friend was married to an Estj male for 2 years. It was not a good relationship - similar issues to what you describe. She found him to be very harsh, critical, selfish, unaffectionate and not emotionally supportive at all, and he thought she was too emotionally intense/irrational- so that caused a lot of conflict. They also had different views on finances - he being extremely frugal and practical, and she having expensive taste and driven more by her feelings and wants in relation to purchasing things.

I don't think infp and estj would be the most ideal relationship, personally....due to the above issues which I could see happening between the two types.
Thank you so much:heart: It's exactly the same. Thank you for sharing.
Can I ask you personally, whether you'll choose the opposite function-partner or the same one?
 

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Hi - I think with a lot of opposite functions you'll probably have more opportunities for conflict. Some would say you have more opportunities for growth, too. Personally, I wouldn't go for a partner with a lot of opposite functions. I think having a mix of similarities and differences would be better - so you have some commonalities and ways of connecting, as well as some areas where you can challenge it each other, and help each other grow.

My personal theory is that it's good to have the two first functions being the same, and the last two being different. That's just my opinion - others may have different perspectives. 😉
 

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My personal theory is that it's good to have the two first functions being the same, and the last two being different. That's just my opinion - others may have different perspectives. ��
I assume you mean letters? Because at least if you go by most function stack systems, if you share the same top 2 functions, you'll also share the same bottom 2 functions.

It seems like the evidence shows that it's best to share all letters in common. See: Truity: Compatibility and Your Personality Type (link)

So if you share no letters in common that's not exactly the best sign for great times ahead.
 
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I assume you mean letters? Because at least if you go by most function stack systems, if you share the same top 2 functions, you'll also share the same bottom 2 functions.

It seems like the evidence shows that it's best to share all letters in common. See: Truity: Compatibility and Your Personality Type (link)

So if you share no letters in common that's not exactly the best sign for great times ahead.
Sorry! Yes, letters is what I meant. Like two 'I's' (introverts), two sensors (S) etc. ...

Thanks for the correction.
 

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I’m a bisexual INFP male dating an ESTP male right now, and you’ve covered similar issues I’m dealing with. Mind you, I’m trying to figure out if it’s the change of sex, or his personality type , but it may be both.

My female partners had an emotional depth that’s been severely lacking in this relationship. I even feel like I made it easy for him, telling him my personality type and giving him ideas of my personally type. He doesn’t seem to understand still .

He’s asked me to lie for stupid reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve lied before, but i Save lying for valid reasons, like telling the nazi’s , “No sir, there’s no one hiding in my basement.”
 
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