Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
so i've only just recently deduced myself to be an INFP - i kept testing for INTJ and ISTJ but something didn't feel quite right so i kept searching. my most recent cognitive function test pretty much confirmed my suspicions: an astoundingly high Fi and a consequent Ne rating, which makes me an INFP (of course).

thing is, the more i scour the INFP board, the more out of place i feel. when i first learnt about MBTI, one of the first things i almost immediately ruled out was F, because i hardly utilise my emotions externally at all and i've always thought myself as more of a thinker (my Te and Ti are my 3rd & 4th highest functions). i should think that i am somewhat in touch with my feelings (though not as much as i was when i was younger), but INFPs appear to project their Fi experiences on others as well and often seem to have a lot of love to go round. i hardly feel for other people at all, tbh - i think my Fi's incredibly self-centred, if anything :|

anyone else out there like this as well? or do i just happen to be a particularly selfish INFP har har.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
I'm the same way, I think INFPs online tend to seem more "hippie-ish" more "loving" than they would seem out in real life if you were to meet them somewhere. I know if someone were to meet me in person they'd never guess I was INFP since I've developed my Thinking really well just so I could get by easier in the crowds. If I used my Fi all the time I just wouldn't be able to get by so I really put a lot of stress on my Ne and it gets easier but it's useful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,035 Posts
Being withdrawn is often percieved as being emotionless. Also, if you're wandering the mist, don't trust your instinct regarding yourself too much. The most selfless beings I have met saw themselves as extremely selfish and suffered endlessly from that delusion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
216 Posts
I am actually the same way. The more I lurk around the INFP forums, the more I feel as if I don't belong. INFPs here seem a lot more emotional than me, so I guess my T is more developed? But the function order for INFP seem accurate for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,682 Posts
Some INFPs pretend they don't have emotions because people look/ or have looked down on them for it. So while those tearjerkers make those waterworks, nobody else will see it. So you may be a "dark" INFP, but from your description you seem more, well.. confused than anything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Being withdrawn is often percieved as being emotionless. Also, if you're wandering the mist, don't trust your instinct regarding yourself too much. The most selfless beings I have met saw themselves as extremely selfish and suffered endlessly from that delusion.
eh, i'm pretty sure it's not delusion. i can virtually feel my entire being shirk from self-sacrifice - my own comfort means so much more to me than helping my friends at times. i've always had ideals of wanting to play a part in the greater good of the community or something to that effect though, so i suppose i'm selfless as long as... i don't personally know who i'm helping? -.-


Chill, I am super selfish. I get along alright.
haha i get along fine too - i guess it's because i'm surrounded by a surprisingly large amount of genuinely selfless people, which becomes rather unnerving. i like to think that it's an inherently humanistic (...or animalistic?) trait to put oneself above others.


Edit: oh actually, want to link me to the cognitive test you used? Can't seem to find any that aren't all broken.
can't post the link because i haven't posted enough to qualify pfft. just replace commas with full stops: www,keys2cognition,com/explore,htm


Some INFPs pretend they don't have emotions because people look/ or have looked down on them for it. So while those tearjerkers make those waterworks, nobody else will see it. So you may be a "dark" INFP, but from your description you seem more, well.. confused than anything.
hmm how would you describe a dark INFP (though i'd think it's highly unlikely for me to be one either)?

in my case, i only hide my emotions when they're disruptive ones like anger, dissatisfaction or dislike. uh also fear and depression, just because i hate exposing myself like that (i know, i know - issues) but when it comes to emotions like empathy, the emotion manifests itself as a passion to want to do something about it. what i can't wrap my head around is when, for eg, my INFJ friend discusses her relationship 'dilemmas' with me - they just appear too trivial to me and she can get annoyed when i say that i don't understand why she's stressing over such matters. but could it be that this is more relative to my perception of whether something is worth being emotional about as opposed to being about my ability to emote?

yes, confused i am :|
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
223 Posts
can't post the link because i haven't posted enough to qualify pfft. just replace commas with full stops: www,keys2cognition,com/explore,htm
l
Thanks! Maybe you should post more so that you can throw links around everywhere.

I got very strong Fi and Ne. Second were Ni and then Fe. My Ti/Te were down at 5th and 6th place. Funny, I didn't think I was that strong an INFP. Maybe because I could tell which questions pertained to Fi and was projecting the desire to get INFP and not anything else. I don't really understand the cognitive functions (or myself) nearly enough to be comfortable with just reading the descriptions and deciding what fits me the best. I mean, I have thought myself borderline INTP or INFJ fairly often, neither my F or P in most tests are anything above 70ish percent. Cognitive processes are supposed to win out though, I think.

Also as to this:

eh, i'm pretty sure it's not delusion. i can virtually feel my entire being shirk from self-sacrifice - my own comfort means so much more to me than helping my friends at times. i've always had ideals of wanting to play a part in the greater good of the community or something to that effect though, so i suppose i'm selfless as long as... i don't personally know who i'm helping? -.-
It can be entirely possible to do generous and apparently 'selfless' things while still being horrible and selfish as we are. Think about it, we're not such a common type and the things most people 'sacrifice' for the good of others are not always things we hold so dear. I have fun helping people in mundane ways, even to the point of nearly bending over backwards because it doesn't really affect what is important to me. If someone gets inside my comfort zone in a way that I am not happy with though, I turn into a horrible unfeeling monster (or just stop pretending? ;)) and either eat them up (in a bad way) or completely cut them out of my life. It could be a bunch of things, usually though if someone develops an unwanted emotional attachment or seems to want me to open up to them. I don't want to have to bestow my trust or prolonged attention on anyone that I don't damn well please, and no one has the right to that sort of innermost thought. I will be nice to people, and happily, but it is really only in surface interactions. I sort of think that's what you mean.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,508 Posts
so i've only just recently deduced myself to be an INFP - i kept testing for INTJ and ISTJ but something didn't feel quite right so i kept searching. my most recent cognitive function test pretty much confirmed my suspicions: an astoundingly high Fi and a consequent Ne rating, which makes me an INFP (of course).

thing is, the more i scour the INFP board, the more out of place i feel. when i first learnt about MBTI, one of the first things i almost immediately ruled out was F, because i hardly utilise my emotions externally at all and i've always thought myself as more of a thinker (my Te and Ti are my 3rd & 4th highest functions). i should think that i am somewhat in touch with my feelings (though not as much as i was when i was younger), but INFPs appear to project their Fi experiences on others as well and often seem to have a lot of love to go round. i hardly feel for other people at all, tbh - i think my Fi's incredibly self-centred, if anything :|

anyone else out there like this as well? or do i just happen to be a particularly selfish INFP har har.
Fi doesn't = love others. Also experience can effect your ...... comfort with your self. How comfortable are you with who you are? That could GREATTTTLY effect what functions you seem to be using.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flatwhite

·
Registered
Joined
·
716 Posts
Fi doesn't = love others.
Qft. F has nothing to do with emotions. I don't understand why Jung couldn't have found a better term than 'feeling', because it's easy to confuse it with emotions.

Many INFPs seem like loving hippies, and maybe that's true, but we're most definitely not walking around hugging everybody. We're more likely just sitting quietly with a inner feeling of affection for people, that we try to hide as well as we can (unless the other happens to be very close).

I also think that the "caring for others" part develops with Ne because that's the extroverted function.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I got very strong Fi and Ne. Second were Ni and then Fe. My Ti/Te were down at 5th and 6th place. Funny, I didn't think I was that strong an INFP. Maybe because I could tell which questions pertained to Fi and was projecting the desire to get INFP and not anything else. I don't really understand the cognitive functions (or myself) nearly enough to be comfortable with just reading the descriptions and deciding what fits me the best. I mean, I have thought myself borderline INTP or INFJ fairly often, neither my F or P in most tests are anything above 70ish percent. Cognitive processes are supposed to win out though, I think.
i remember reading in some thread or other that INFP's often initially mistype themselves or perceive themselves to be some other type. i'm beginning to think that we all assume that we're thinking types because of our thinking oriented environment. that coupled with our perfectionist tendencies may drive us to work on Ti and Te so much that we end up not thinking so much about our naturally strong F traits because we're constantly trying to grow something that doesn't come as naturally to us as feeling. maybe?


It can be entirely possible to do generous and apparently 'selfless' things while still being horrible and selfish as we are. Think about it, we're not such a common type and the things most people 'sacrifice' for the good of others are not always things we hold so dear. I have fun helping people in mundane ways, even to the point of nearly bending over backwards because it doesn't really affect what is important to me. If someone gets inside my comfort zone in a way that I am not happy with though, I turn into a horrible unfeeling monster (or just stop pretending? ;)) and either eat them up (in a bad way) or completely cut them out of my life. It could be a bunch of things, usually though if someone develops an unwanted emotional attachment or seems to want me to open up to them. I don't want to have to bestow my trust or prolonged attention on anyone that I don't damn well please, and no one has the right to that sort of innermost thought. I will be nice to people, and happily, but it is really only in surface interactions. I sort of think that's what you mean.
key here is that helping others make us happy. gee are we noble or what. and in my case, it's more if someone expects me to step out of my comfort zone as opposed to them invading my comfort zone heh.

and ditto the surface interaction thing. it almost comes naturally to me now :|


Fi doesn't = love others. Also experience can effect your ...... comfort with your self. How comfortable are you with who you are? That could GREATTTTLY effect what functions you seem to be using.
i am aware of that; i was just making an observation that many of the INFPs here = love others, not so much Fi = love others.

and as for how comfortable i am with myself - well, i'm honestly not quite sure. i wouldn't dare to get too cozy with the primary INFP structural functions, tbh. i think i'd probably end up being dangerously unproductive; the way i was in my childhood.

and when you say functions i seem to be using, do you mean it could affect my tendency to develop functions the typical INFP wouldn't develop?


Qft. F has nothing to do with emotions. I don't understand why Jung couldn't have found a better term than 'feeling', because it's easy to confuse it with emotions.

Many INFPs seem like loving hippies, and maybe that's true, but we're most definitely not walking around hugging everybody. We're more likely just sitting quietly with a inner feeling of affection for people, that we try to hide as well as we can (unless the other happens to be very close).

I also think that the "caring for others" part develops with Ne because that's the extroverted function.
thing is, i'm pretty sure the inner feeling of affection for people i'm not entirely feeling on the inside either :| and my Fe function's the least developed *shifty eyed*. i guess it's just a little more unusual for an INFP
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
806 Posts
I'm the same way, I think INFPs online tend to seem more "hippie-ish" more "loving" than they would seem out in real life if you were to meet them somewhere. I know if someone were to meet me in person they'd never guess I was INFP since I've developed my Thinking really well just so I could get by easier in the crowds. If I used my Fi all the time I just wouldn't be able to get by so I really put a lot of stress on my Ne and it gets easier but it's useful.
That's definitely true. Online, I can act pretty bubbly. In real life, however, I'm a more serious person.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flatwhite

·
Registered
Joined
·
716 Posts
thing is, i'm pretty sure the inner feeling of affection for people i'm not entirely feeling on the inside either :| and my Fe function's the least developed *shifty eyed*. i guess it's just a little more unusual for an INFP
Fe is a shadow-function for INFPs meaning that it's one of the four functions we absolutely suck at using. Did you mean Ne?

Well, it's not like I'm sitting and bursting with love for everyone around me. Some people I dislike. For the people I like, well, I feel a general feeling of "liking" towards them manifested on my general perception of them as persons. But it's definitely not a strong feeling of love in any way; that is reserved for close friends, people I have a crush on and romantic partners.

For the people I don't like. Well, it's because my perception of them is generally more negative than positive for some reason. Sometimes when I also see a great deal of good in someone but their negative sides shines through brighter, I feel a little guilty for disliking them. And even with people I really dislike, I'm always polite and friendly when talking to them. And they usually are to me, even if I can sense mutual dislike.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
751 Posts
When I first started too I was worried I was mistyped as a feeler because I felt like I was selfish and unloving to others. However the Fi can lead to these things, its an inner flame what tells us which is right with our lives and what is wrong, it tells whether we are being ourselves or someone else or if we are content with what we are doing or not. Fi is like a dictactor, we have to obey it because we fear what will happen if we ignore it. The potentially negative consequences of Fi is being self-absorbed and selfish because it can sometimes override the desire to please others, ordering us to find something which makes us feel happy. Fe is more the happy hugs and kisses form of feeling and its existence as a shadow function probably makes us seem more cold (to ourselves and others) than we actually are.

I can seem very aloof and detached to others in real life, I often smile or laugh not necessarily out of warmth but because I'm a bit shy and easily swayed by funny thoughts in my head. Right now I don't feel any particular emotion at all, I have no desire for love in my life much yet I know I'm a feeler because I use Fi and definately not Ti. Being online lessens the shyness factor and I think most people feel more comfortable being open than they do in real life when online. I think the only thing you need to qualify as a feeler is that you are more focused on whether you want to do it/ is it the right thing to do whilst a thinker wouldn't necessarily balance a decision by the human cost but perhaps more by impartial outcomes or factors e.g efficiency of the task or significance of end results.

Sorry to ramble on there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Fe is a shadow-function for INFPs meaning that it's one of the four functions we absolutely suck at using. Did you mean Ne?

Well, it's not like I'm sitting and bursting with love for everyone around me. Some people I dislike. For the people I like, well, I feel a general feeling of "liking" towards them manifested on my general perception of them as persons. But it's definitely not a strong feeling of love in any way; that is reserved for close friends, people I have a crush on and romantic partners.

For the people I don't like. Well, it's because my perception of them is generally more negative than positive for some reason. Sometimes when I also see a great deal of good in someone but their negative sides shines through brighter, I feel a little guilty for disliking them. And even with people I really dislike, I'm always polite and friendly when talking to them. And they usually are to me, even if I can sense mutual dislike.
nope, my Ne's ridiculously well-sculpted. i don't know why i associated Fe with all-encompassing love *smacks self*. but if i do
look at the way you put it, i think i can relate. don't know if it relates to any function in particular, but certain people naturally command respect or appreciation from me in ways that i would find difficult to explain to anybody else - it's a personal perception that comes from within. somewhere.

y'know, now that you mention it, even though i don't favour a lot of actual interaction with people, i've always had a knack for reading others' emotions or vibes. i wonder if it's a Fi thing.


However the Fi can lead to these things, its an inner flame what tells us which is right with our lives and what is wrong, it tells whether we are being ourselves or someone else or if we are content with what we are doing or not.

Being online lessens the shyness factor and I think most people feel more comfortable being open than they do in real life when online.
yeah i suppose Fi makes a whole lot more sense when feeling is viewed more as an ethic judgement tool. i honestly used to find it bizarre how people could have so little concern for ethical issues - this was especially apparent when i took up an ethics paper in uni. i suppose it's the Fi-types would just be more inclined to care about these things.

and the internet thing rings true - i think internet personas for many are reasonably varied from their actual behaviours. i actually hate connecting with my real life friends through IM because the interactions don't feel the same to me.

PS: apology not accepted, because it wasn't even required in the first place :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
869 Posts
I am actually the same way. The more I lurk around the INFP forums, the more I feel as if I don't belong. INFPs here seem a lot more emotional than me, so I guess my T is more developed? But the function order for INFP seem accurate for me.
I have thought this too and I am thinking that, as a group, in this forum, perhaps we "exaggerate" our INPFness in order to bond? Don't we INPFs like to feel like we belong?

I think that pink unicorns are naff an I seem a lot harsher than most of the people that post in the INPF forum but I also relate to the majority of things said here, albeit finding myself shouting at the screen "grow a spine for the love of god!!" sometimes!?

In real life I had a hard time convincing someone the other day that I am an INPF, he was sure I was an Extrovert and probably an S too.
 
Joined
·
4,757 Posts
I wrote this in another thread yesterday:

I do naturally sympathize towards people I know and when I've been in a similar situation as someone else. But here's the thing: a lot my feelings towards others have been cultivated or have crept up gradually upon me as I've gotten older. The thing about Fi that it leads to an incredible amount of self-absorption. I do care ... it's just that I can also not really care at all. Like on some levels, I can really relate to the characters on Seinfeld ... which is, as you can imagine, not necessarily a quality associated with INFPs
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,035 Posts
eh, i'm pretty sure it's not delusion. i can virtually feel my entire being shirk from self-sacrifice - my own comfort means so much more to me than helping my friends at times. i've always had ideals of wanting to play a part in the greater good of the community or something to that effect though, so i suppose i'm selfless as long as... i don't personally know who i'm helping? -.-
Do you feel those you know are unworthy of receiving your aid?
 
  • Like
Reactions: flatwhite

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
In real life I had a hard time convincing someone the other day that I am an INPF, he was sure I was an Extrovert and probably an S too.
*nods* guess that's why so many of us type wrongly with initial self-assessments - we're finding it hard ourselves to distinguish between real thoughts and external personas.

I do naturally sympathize towards people I know and when I've been in a similar situation as someone else. But here's the thing: a lot my feelings towards others have been cultivated or have crept up gradually upon me as I've gotten older. The thing about Fi that it leads to an incredible amount of self-absorption. I do care ... it's just that I can also not really care at all. Like on some levels, I can really relate to the characters on Seinfeld ... which is, as you can imagine, not necessarily a quality associated with INFPs
hmm so i suppose you're essentially saying that emotions felt towards other people become stronger as you mature? possible, possible...

Do you feel those you know are unworthy of receiving your aid?
it's not so much that, i think. i don't help because i don't think they actually need my help. i'm a pretty independent person, and when one of my likes-to-even-wash-my-underwear-with-others-because-we're-inseparable-like-that friends ask me to assist with something, i can't help but retort that they could easily do it themselves - i think they ask for help because they're too used to doing things as a group and when they can't figure it out at a surface level, they just find someone else to 'join in the fun' without really trying.

if they call me on the phone in tears, though, well that's a different story - it'd be almost inhuman to not rush to their side immediately, eh?

mmm now that i think about it, it's possible that the reason i don't want to help is because they're almost expecting me to invest more than just problem-solving skills...
 
Joined
·
4,757 Posts
hmm so i suppose you're essentially saying that emotions felt towards other people become stronger as you mature? possible, possible...
I think that accumulation of life experience helps. Our emotional reference point is always ourselves and what we have felt.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flatwhite
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top