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An INFP's Vent, About Broken Hearts & Break-Ups.

1237 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Lina113
On May of this year, I was on OKCupid one night, bored out of my mind, and decided to look around for some friends to talk to and what not. I kept searching and looking, and looking... Until this one guy's profile stood out to me for some reason. I clicked and read his profile, and was laughing my guts out on the things he wrote there. I looked through his pictures and he looked so cute... I saw that he included his YouTube account and went in to check. He had videos of himself acting odd but adorable at the same time. Needless to say, I fell infatuated with him on first sight.

I found his AIM and added him in my contacts list. I didn't strike a conversation with him for like a whole week- I was too scared and didn't knew what to say. But finally, I had enough, and decided to just say hi. We had a really nice conversation, and we talked for like a week, till he offered to meet up. I was jumping for joy on the inside, and was very excited when the day came. We met up and had a surprisingly wonderful day together... We were obviously attracted to each other and had a blast!

So we dated for 2 months. He showed all the signs that he really did liked me a lot... Until the last couple of weeks of us being together. He has been unemployed the entire time we were together, but I paid no mind to it, because I am also in a financial rut with my parents as well, so I kinda "get" where he was coming from. His car broke down, and this is where he lost all his feelings for me. I thought him being distant was because of his financial situations, but I guess it's that and just him losing interest in me. He finally dumped me out of the blue one night, on AIM no less. :crying: I took it well and showed him that I was fine, and when I logged out, I talked to my parents about it, and they were shocked, to say the least. My dad strongly believes that he is very insecure (and he was right, because my ex CONSTANTLY put himself down and asked me why I liked him or let alone talked to "someone like him"), and I thanked them for the emotional support. When everyone went to bed, I silently started crying.

Since the day of the break up, my ex and I haven't spoken not one word to each other. It's been a month and a week of silence. We live about 20 miles apart by car. In the break up, I told him that I would talk to him someday, and I know that I shouldn't have said that, because I guess him not reaching out for me was beacuse I said that, but still... I can't believe I was brushed aside and forgotten JUST LIKE THAT! :sad: He has told me all the time back then how cool and amazing I was... He even told me that I was his dream girl (I felt it was a bit too quick for him to label me that, but whatever, i was flattered and thought he was cute for saying that.) and I just thought he really did enjoyed me as a person. Guess not.

If I could label his personality type... I would say he's an INFJ, or an INTJ (SORRY, HAD TO CHANGE IT!). He's VERY introverted, no lie. :confused: But anyway... I know I should move on and stuff, and I am, little by little... I am realizing that I deserve nothing but the very best, that he's a bit too odd sometimes for me to understand, and he's a bit emotionally stunted and can be a bit harsh with his words... But, my heart still yearns for him for some stupid reason. He's such a loser, but he was my loser, and he was adorable if it wasn't for his major insecurity issue that was probably the sole reason he dumped me for. :unsure: Sigh... I'm sorry for writing a novel, but I had to get this off my chest. I am so utterly confused as to why it had to end so abruptly and so coldly...

Thanks for reading. You INFPs got any advice for me, as well as horrible break up stories of your own? :mellow:
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So I liked this guy (first love) for seven years, and he knew from the start. He was trying to be nice, so he never said anything about it and just acted really normal around me... I had no idea he knew that I liked him from the start, and I was super tense about him anyway... I clammed up and acted like the 95% introvert that I am (around my closest friends I can be quite an extrovert, but when I'm not around them, but feel like I really have a connection with someone, I can be as much of a loser as anyone. Anyway, he was unpopular and I thought he was quite an individualist; so I did what most idealists do, I idealized about him. I made it out that he wanted to live outside of the 'box' of popularity, like me (I struggled with self-identity issues in the past, but had just now realized that I didn't want to be popular).
Side Note- I started liking him before I realized who I really was, and when I was wanting to be popular, then still liked him those last few years out of the full seven, when I didn't know quite who I was, but I knew I didn't want to be popular.
Anyway, I had made him out to be someone he really wasn't. In truth, he had always wanted to be popular, like I once did, but he acted on his wishes. I feel like he didn't take the time to really find himself, so he will truly never be happy with his-self, but then again, I could be very wrong, I pegged him wrong once, it could happen again, maybe many times again. He completely changed, becoming more of an extravert than I really thought he was. He started ignoring all his old friends, for the new, shiny, populars.
I felt like I was just a broken toy in his toy chest, while he had just gotten new ones, new ones that I felt didn't know him as well as all his old ones... If we're speaking metaphorically anyway.
Skip to months, maybe a year after he abandoned all his old friends. It was my birthday. He texted my best friend, telling her something like he missed me (he had her number because she is something of a popular). I told her to reply that he changed. So apparently he got really mad at me, and we really haven't talked since, and when we have, it's just been small talk. I heard he might've liked me last school year, but we never talked then either (It's been about two years since apparently 'I' ruined whatever we had). Then he suddenly got 'over' me (don't ask how I know this, it's too complicated).
I'm still not over him. I feel like if he had taken the time to really find his-self, we wouldn't have an issue. I don't know. Maybe I'm a control freak. I just miss who he used to be, or at least the daydream I had of him. Maybe I never really fell in love with him, but just some sort of perfect image I created of him. I feel like no matter what other guy comes into my life, the thought of him gets in the way of what could possibly be a chance to get over him. Do I have a right to feel so crappy about being abandoned? Do I have a right to be mad at him, or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Does he have a right to be mad at me? Am I being stuck up for ending our friendship whenever he started befriending populars (people who I wish I could see the good in, but I simply can't seem to anymore, I've just gotten sick of them in their shallowness and drama, etc. I want to see the good in them, like I used to, but they've simply burnt me out)? I just can't seem to sift through all of these loose cannon emotions on my own... Advice? Can anyone relate? Anyone?
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