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Well, my four day weekend has finally come to an end sadly. 
I have really enjoyed the time off of work, but it seems that my weekend has ended on an unusual note and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I got a new Enneagram book today and dove into it right away because I just can't seem to stop myself and I was talking to The Hubs about some of the theories I've been reading about in my book and he started to get a little bothered. We ended up turning that into a conversation which lasted for a little over an hour and basically the only solid conclusion that I can take from it is that he just can't seem to "buy into" the whole Enneagram thing, and thats not really a problem by itself, because of course, there are lots of people that just don't find the Enneagram interesting, or they just think it's the bunk, or whatever, but it did bother me that he was so bothered just by my talking about it. I admit, I do talk about it a lot, like almost on a daily basis, but in my defense, that is what I'm studying to do with my life, so it seems natural to me to be so intensly focused on it. I don't know, it was just somewhat of a shock to me to really be confronted by the fact that my own husband takes more of an opposing stance to what I study and believe in. Really, up until today, I thought that he at least supported me in my studies of the Enneagram. I always knew that it really wasn't his thing, and thats fine. I understand that, once again. And he still does support me, but he supports my study and dedication to the Enneagram because it makes me happy, not because he believes it's a good thing to study or devote one's self to, and for some reason that is really bothering me. For the first time, in our short, almost four month marriage, I can say I truely feel like we are a house divided or something. I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a SIX and I need to have that confirmation that I'm being supported. After all, when SIXES lose that sense of support from someone, especially someone they trust, like I trust my husband, they begin to second guess everything, including themselves, and that is whats going in me right now. So I'm probably making this an important issue when its really an unimportant issue, right? And I mean c'mon...The Enneagram is something that requires study and thought and analytical processes, which is something that NINES aren't exactly known for, though any NINE at all could understand the Enneagram or be interested in it if they wanted to. Perhaps my husband just isn't one of those NINES. I can see how it would make sense to him that all this studying of people is just pointless and boring and too hard to think about (not meant in an negative way). NINES are simple beings. They aren't often drawn to the complex, so maybe thats why he gets so bothered by all my constant chatter about it. Maybe he thinks I'm overthinking people and life and myself and him. Maybe he just wants things to be simple, even me. Maybe he just doesn't understand why there is a need to make the human experiance such a complex, over-thought process. I can see how a NINE with that sort of thinking would find the Enneagram to be irritating. I just wish that, for all the times I can step out of my SIXNESS and see his perspective, he would at least try to step out of his NINENESS and see things from my perspective...Or anybodies for that matter. My husband tends to be wired to see things from his point of view and he's not particularly interested in ever changing that. He doesn't see the need to. He assumes that he has all the answers to life as himself, so stepping out of that is stupid to him and a waste of time and energy. This is one of the areas in our lives where we are having problems because of that. We have talked about this before many times, even before we got married and we just dating and engaged, but for all that talking we did, I wonder how much of it he ever agreed with. He always says he agrees with me and that he'll do better to change, but then later down the road he acts the exact same way again and it is as if we never had the conversation to begin with. Eventually, after going over the same issue again and again, he will sometimes finally get sick of it and just tell me that he disagrees with me, and that his going to do whatever he wants and I'll just have to get over it, not matter how much it scares me.
So what do I do with this? What do you do with someone who is so simple minded that contemplating any complexity is seen as a delinquent way of living? Especially for me because I am so complex in my mental process at all times that I sometimes get grumpy when I have to put up with simple minded people for too long a period.
Carl Jung once said that some problems are so big that they cannot be solved, only outgrown. Maybe this is one of those problems?
I hate not having answers. :dry:
I have really enjoyed the time off of work, but it seems that my weekend has ended on an unusual note and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I got a new Enneagram book today and dove into it right away because I just can't seem to stop myself and I was talking to The Hubs about some of the theories I've been reading about in my book and he started to get a little bothered. We ended up turning that into a conversation which lasted for a little over an hour and basically the only solid conclusion that I can take from it is that he just can't seem to "buy into" the whole Enneagram thing, and thats not really a problem by itself, because of course, there are lots of people that just don't find the Enneagram interesting, or they just think it's the bunk, or whatever, but it did bother me that he was so bothered just by my talking about it. I admit, I do talk about it a lot, like almost on a daily basis, but in my defense, that is what I'm studying to do with my life, so it seems natural to me to be so intensly focused on it. I don't know, it was just somewhat of a shock to me to really be confronted by the fact that my own husband takes more of an opposing stance to what I study and believe in. Really, up until today, I thought that he at least supported me in my studies of the Enneagram. I always knew that it really wasn't his thing, and thats fine. I understand that, once again. And he still does support me, but he supports my study and dedication to the Enneagram because it makes me happy, not because he believes it's a good thing to study or devote one's self to, and for some reason that is really bothering me. For the first time, in our short, almost four month marriage, I can say I truely feel like we are a house divided or something. I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a SIX and I need to have that confirmation that I'm being supported. After all, when SIXES lose that sense of support from someone, especially someone they trust, like I trust my husband, they begin to second guess everything, including themselves, and that is whats going in me right now. So I'm probably making this an important issue when its really an unimportant issue, right? And I mean c'mon...The Enneagram is something that requires study and thought and analytical processes, which is something that NINES aren't exactly known for, though any NINE at all could understand the Enneagram or be interested in it if they wanted to. Perhaps my husband just isn't one of those NINES. I can see how it would make sense to him that all this studying of people is just pointless and boring and too hard to think about (not meant in an negative way). NINES are simple beings. They aren't often drawn to the complex, so maybe thats why he gets so bothered by all my constant chatter about it. Maybe he thinks I'm overthinking people and life and myself and him. Maybe he just wants things to be simple, even me. Maybe he just doesn't understand why there is a need to make the human experiance such a complex, over-thought process. I can see how a NINE with that sort of thinking would find the Enneagram to be irritating. I just wish that, for all the times I can step out of my SIXNESS and see his perspective, he would at least try to step out of his NINENESS and see things from my perspective...Or anybodies for that matter. My husband tends to be wired to see things from his point of view and he's not particularly interested in ever changing that. He doesn't see the need to. He assumes that he has all the answers to life as himself, so stepping out of that is stupid to him and a waste of time and energy. This is one of the areas in our lives where we are having problems because of that. We have talked about this before many times, even before we got married and we just dating and engaged, but for all that talking we did, I wonder how much of it he ever agreed with. He always says he agrees with me and that he'll do better to change, but then later down the road he acts the exact same way again and it is as if we never had the conversation to begin with. Eventually, after going over the same issue again and again, he will sometimes finally get sick of it and just tell me that he disagrees with me, and that his going to do whatever he wants and I'll just have to get over it, not matter how much it scares me. So what do I do with this? What do you do with someone who is so simple minded that contemplating any complexity is seen as a delinquent way of living? Especially for me because I am so complex in my mental process at all times that I sometimes get grumpy when I have to put up with simple minded people for too long a period.
Carl Jung once said that some problems are so big that they cannot be solved, only outgrown. Maybe this is one of those problems?
I hate not having answers. :dry:
