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An outside perspective

5K views 75 replies 8 participants last post by  Wake 
#1 ·
I'd like to get others' perspectives on my type. I think the information will be useful and eye-opening.

Rather than do a mix of PM and other stuff, I'd like to keep it all on track in one thread. So any questions you have, ask here.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?


I don't know. Something that allows me to best utilize, access, and exercise the talents God has given me. I wouldn't mind having my weaknesses tested either.

I want to have a goal that I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and die for. Maybe it's being the best screenwriter on the planet or completely rewriting the rule book for Wall Street. Whatever it is, I want to hit it with the full force of my existence. I relish the challenge.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

To rewrite, push, and revolutionize whatever field or career I choose to pursue.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I value honesty, sincerity, and personal responsibility.

I try to avoid being hypocritical.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

I am afraid of my parents dying. I don't think about it often, but when I do there is something there that scares me. They are among the few who can handle me when I burn hottest, and are willing to forgive me when I make major mistakes. Their grace and mercy towards me is something I do not have but wish to one day embody.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I would like others to see me as a strong but benevolent leader. Got the strong. Benevolent, not so much.

I think I'm an optimistic realist. I hope for the best and expect the worst. Expecting a challenge at every turn keeps me energized and excited. I relish the challenges life presents me, although I do wish they wouldn't all happen at the same time. I have my silly moments, and am probably more friendly and down to Earth than I would like to be. But that's a part of me I'm learning to stretch.

I used to be a lot more closed off and untrusting of people. But someone I deeply respected told me I can't live life that way. I decided to change. Now I take a lot more risk by trusting people and opening up on a personal level, but I think the pains are worth the gain. My friendships are much richer because of it.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

Accomplishing something in the face of adversity. Can be as simple as getting a form signed by 3 PM halfway across town or as complex as climbing a mountain with no water or supplies.

When I go back on my word. If I commit to do something and then don't do it-- I think that speaks volumes about character and personal integrity.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.


A. Burns. I can go from 0 to 3000 in the span of a heartbeat over the right things. I can also sit and smolder on a subject for years. I get irritated by a lot of things, but rarely (almost never) lose my temper.

B. I don't feel it often enough. I'm very good at rationalizing my own bad behavior if I think I was in the right. I can be a bit prideful at times, and definitely need reminders I'm not the end all be all.

C. Usually just before I leap into a conflict I don't want to have. But once I'm in, it doesn't matter who it's with-- I enjoy myself. Also, lingering projects or unfinished work will occasionally strike a chord with me, but it's not often and usually goes away pretty quickly. I don't like to worry about things I can't control or decisions made in the past. What's done is done.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.


A. I like to back off a project to gain a more "whole picture" perspective. I'm usually stressed because I've become too focused on the details.

B. I'll gripe and adjust.

C. It happens a lot. Sometimes I don't want to have it, but whenever I get into it, I enjoy it.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

A. Examine to make sure it is worthy of trust.

B. A stupidly vague word.

Depends. I respect authority that has earned my respect. If it hasn't, I like to play with it and test the limits.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

I think 90 percent of the world is filled with morons. But I believe that people have the ability to change and revolutionize their world for the better. It's just whether or not they choose to utilize their talents and brains that makes the difference. It's easier to bitch about life than handle it.

My life motto is "if it were easy, everybody would do it."

EDIT: @Boss @Spades @Wake @Delphyne @Swordsman of Mana @AceFace

At Spades' request, we're starting over rather than continuing the old thread.
 
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#2 ·
After more reading, more talking, and more memory lane trips, I've come to believe that I'm probably an eight with either a heavy social instinct or two fix.

I'm not afraid of conflict and have been accused by many, many people in my life of enjoying the moments when I do butt heads with others. I don't enjoy sitting on the sidelines for anything, and would prefer to be in the heat where all the action is.

That being said, I don't like making little old ladies cry or belittling the waitress who served me for a minor error. I try to let a lot of things go because I know I have a tendency to steamroller people if I get involved.

I enjoy being around people who have dreams and desires and are passionate about making them reality. I think the company a person keeps is very important. Personal experience has taught me a strong will doesn't always negate the influence of negative people.

I have moments where I get very hyperactive to the point where people think I've taken LSD. More often than not it's me just shaking out all my energy. After a long day of work I find I need to burn off all the adrenaline I have. The unfortunate aspect of having so much drive and energy is that it manifests in two ways if I don't exercise it regularly: fights or silliness.

I will either pick verbal arguments (usually in jest, and then they turn serious) with anyone and everyone (I'm exceptionally good at provoking people) or I will, as mentioned before, become very over-the-top affable with others to the point of scaring people off. I find that regular rigorous exercise helps prevent this, but there are many times where I simply can't maintain an active workout schedule. The result is usually burned bridges at the expense of my entertainment.

I don't like chasing off people whose company I enjoy no matter how much I want to pick a fight. I have no desire to destroy a good friendship because I was feeling particularly restless. Unfortunately, I've done it more often than I would like. As a result, I try and be more cautious.

I used to make a mental checklist in my head as a kid of all the people who didn't believe I could make it in life, and would plot ways to prove them wrong. Skeptics always made me fight harder.

My mother is a very frugal, business-minded woman. Growing up, if jeans cost more than $10, they were too expensive. I grew up wearing a lot of second-store clothing and a similar (although not as all encompassing) mindset. As a result, name brands and trends have never been of interest to me. Other than chocolate, Japanese food, and pulled pork sandwiches, I don't generally splurge on things. The hilarious thing about this is that now that I live in LA, where even janitors dress like movie stars, I generally stick out like a sore thumb. My roommate laughs about it and says I look like a typical writer.

That being said, I use my money as an expression of my love for people. I tend to be compassionate through actions rather than words. I make sure that the gifts I buy for people are meaningful and have a lot of personal value, even at the cost of my weekly living expenses.

I used to fight with my mother a lot growing up. Whenever she asked me to do something I didn't want to do, I told her no directly. She would punish me and I would view my punishments as a test of wills. That being said, I was fortunate enough to grow up with a good head. I never went out of my way to act so brashly as to permanently damage our relationship. Still, I definitely had my days.
 
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#3 ·
I'd like to get others' perspectives on my type. I think the information will be useful and eye-opening.

Rather than do a mix of PM and other stuff, I'd like to keep it all on track in one thread. So any questions you have, ask here.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?


I don't know. Something that allows me to best utilize, access, and exercise the talents God has given me. I wouldn't mind having my weaknesses tested either.

I want to have a goal that I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and die for. Maybe it's being the best screenwriter on the planet or completely rewriting the rule book for Wall Street. Whatever it is, I want to hit it with the full force of my existence. I relish the challenge.
Paraphrasing RH, they say an 8 has an incredible amount of instinctual energy leading to them constantly asserting themselves and their vitality, possibly to the limits.
^ Sounds right down your alley.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

To rewrite, push, and revolutionize whatever field or career I choose to pursue.
says your will revolves around work, and nothing else. I suppose the career could be viewed as a challenge making this statement point towards 8 again. I could see a 1 or 8, maybe a 3 becoming so focused on their career. Such focus without an underlying cause doesn't sound very 1-like though.


3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I value honesty, sincerity, and personal responsibility.

I try to avoid being hypocritical.
Sounds rather 1 or 8-like. 1-like because it is a focus on being good and doing right, but her words up to this point haven't particularly emphasized the desire of moral principles. 8-like because there maybe a deep down distrust of others and a desire to find people to trust. Personal responsibility seems like it could be a red flag in the 1 direction. 8's decision to believe in the Law of Nature doesn't mean they don't have a belief of how things should go to work properly, but it just isn't their emphasis. This one seems to lean in a 1-like direction.


4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

I am afraid of my parents dying. I don't think about it often, but when I do there is something there that scares me. They are among the few who can handle me when I burn hottest, and are willing to forgive me when I make major mistakes. Their grace and mercy towards me is something I do not have but wish to one day embody.
1s become flustered but I don't think it is considered an outward burning, but most is internalized. I would say to outwardly 'burn' a 1 would have to be very unhealthy, and this leads me to believe you're not a 1. 1s when unhealthy would speak a much more idealism and principle. 8s by RH are said to "act out" around trusted friends and intimates, and at these times they're said to (by RH) to get acknowledgement that they're wanted. Exchange of love is this bond, so it makes sense.

1s have to strain themselves to give grace and bend their rigidity. I don't think 1s would view this matter in quite the same way as she did. 8 may decide they're too decisive and not merciful enough to manage.


5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I would like others to see me as a strong but benevolent leader. Got the strong. Benevolent, not so much.
A 3 would probably not describe themselves this way, and like the latest answers given I don't think it deserves reasoning because the answer doesn't speak to the type. 1s would be trying to shape their ideology to fit benevolence, though they maybe considering themselves strong. It just doesn't match up with 1 type. A type 2 would never consider themselves not benevolent. I could see an 8 trying to be a more well-rounded leader and get rid of the sharp edges due to their introspection. I lean 8 on this one as well.


I think I'm an optimistic realist. I hope for the best and expect the worst. Expecting a challenge at every turn keeps me energized and excited. I relish the challenges life presents me, although I do wish they wouldn't all happen at the same time. I have my silly moments, and am probably more friendly and down to Earth than I would like to be. But that's a part of me I'm learning to stretch.
Challenge are something which are invited by 8s, and this is the case to the point of gaining RH's title of "The Challenger", I think that speaks for itself. I think the toughness an 8 learns to take on creates this strength of opposition to threats. 8s are known to be sociable, and you can't always be uptight around friends or they're drawn away by you.

More down to earth than you would like to be? 8s are known to consider themselves to have high common sense and straight-forward tendencies. Was this a mistake on your part?


I used to be a lot more closed off and untrusting of people. But someone I deeply respected told me I can't live life that way. I decided to change. Now I take a lot more risk by trusting people and opening up on a personal level, but I think the pains are worth the gain. My friendships are much richer because of it.
1s like to try to trust people then find a need to change them. I only really read 8 from this because of the trust and openness giving such a problem to the individual. I don't think 6s are so defensive by nature, and their trust problems comes on different issues.


6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

Accomplishing something in the face of adversity. Can be as simple as getting a form signed by 3 PM halfway across town or as complex as climbing a mountain with no water or supplies.
Rising to the CHALLENGE, this is becoming repetitive. RH does say that 8s always subtly feel they're working against something, and this shows they're comfortable in such a position, which matches your stance.


When I go back on my word. If I commit to do something and then don't do it-- I think that speaks volumes about character and personal integrity.
It sounds 1-like because 1s hate to take blame for being untrustworthy. 8s have trust issues also though.


7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

A. Burns. I can go from 0 to 3000 in the span of a heartbeat over the right things. I can also sit and smolder on a subject for years. I get irritated by a lot of things, but rarely (almost never) lose my temper.
Ones brew resentment and are not the type to blow up in a split second because they're afraid of loss of control. The second part of this could be a matter of an 8 and their vengeance. The 8 is a reactive type to match this burst of anger. 6s are also reactive, eh? Nothing has screamed 6 to this point, so I'm not making too much of that.


B. I don't feel it often enough. I'm very good at rationalizing my own bad behavior if I think I was in the right. I can be a bit prideful at times, and definitely need reminders I'm not the end all be all.
It seems like shame is something 1s are very close to in their hearts. They're known to be conscientious above all, afraid of making mistakes, and the research on this topic reflects that. Based on how far she is away from this feeling I would go ahead and count it out, which leaves type 3 as the closest.


C. Usually just before I leap into a conflict I don't want to have. But once I'm in, it doesn't matter who it's with-- I enjoy myself. Also, lingering projects or unfinished work will occasionally strike a chord with me, but it's not often and usually goes away pretty quickly. I don't like to worry about things I can't control or decisions made in the past. What's done is done.
I don't think 3 or 8 differ too greatly in terms of raw anxiety and dealing with this matter. 3 is pretty distant second in my book by this point.


8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

A. I like to back off a project to gain a more "whole picture" perspective. I'm usually stressed because I've become too focused on the details.

B. I'll gripe and adjust.

C. It happens a lot. Sometimes I don't want to have it, but whenever I get into it, I enjoy it.
From my understanding of matter of conflict and 3s, they aren't all that wild about it. They like to achieve things but they don't get too much of a rise out of raw confrontation. It seems to point towards 8...


9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

A. Examine to make sure it is worthy of trust.
A level of defensiveness that 8s are known for, but not too heavy on lack of trust as many definitions speak of.


B. A stupidly vague word.
lol, good answer.


Depends. I respect authority that has earned my respect. If it hasn't, I like to play with it and test the limits.
^THE CHALLENGER, it says nothing more than that.


10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

I think 90 percent of the world is filled with morons. But I believe that people have the ability to change and revolutionize their world for the better. It's just whether or not they choose to utilize their talents and brains that makes the difference. It's easier to bitch about life than handle it.

My life motto is "if it were easy, everybody would do it."
A can-do attitude. It seems to speak to a 3 or 8 typing.

This OP has 8 written all over it, literally.
 
#4 ·
@Wake, the 1w2 gut fix and core 3 are written all over the post. A 3 with a 1w2 or even 8 gut fix could easily see themselves that way (benevolent leader). I sure do.

- to have a goal that one lives, breathes, would die for (type 3)
- the personal responsibility, sincerity part is indicative of 1. And says who that 8s are deeply distrustful inside and need someone to trust? That's type 6. Pretty basic.
-ones and eights are gut types, so both are fueled by anger. ones don't speak of idealism and principles when they're unhealthy. this is a healthy ( in fact, it's pretty much the core drive of a one) aspect of the type.
-ones do like to be in control of themselves, but they can burn outwardly when they're pursuing what's right. ones can have a scathing anger that can rival an 8s.
- rising to the challenge is an assertive triad thing in itself (3,7,8)
- a lot of 1w2s can envision themselves as benevolent leaders (the benevolence part in an 8 comes from integration to 2, and the benevolence in 1w2 comes from the 2 wing).
-yes, 1s and 1 fixers will not tend to blow up at a moment's notice. From what I have read in Julia's posts, she doesn't seem like the kind of person who will blow her fuse at the drop of a hat. Correct me, if needed. In fact, even 8s (unless it's an immature 8w7) are not easily bothered. They are in the reactive triad, so they certainly aren't the types to exercise a shit load of self-control, but they're not as reactive as you may think. in fact, 6s (esp cp) can react faster than 8s.
- playing with authority can be 8 and 7. 8s are indifferent to authority.
So, while Julia isn't a core 1, she is a core 3 with a strong 1w2 fix. I'll have to rethink her head-fix.
-power is not a stupidly vague word to an 8/8 fixer.

1. Julia, what would you avoid most out of these two 1. emotional pain 2. anxiety/uncertainty? Explain why.

I know you have a gluttonous, lusty side. That, however, is not coming from an 8 fix since it's been ruled out. It's likely coming from 7 as your head type (7 has a strong line to 1 which can make 7 fixers idealistic; they have a generous/ side anyway). But, I need to explore that further. The only overtly 6ish thing you've said is the part about examining authority to see if it's trustworthy. So, tell me:

2.What makes an authority trustworthy? How do you go about examining it?

3.What makes you angry (answer in as much detail as possible)? How do you express anger?


Btw, I have a record of what you had shared earlier. I found it in my PMs. If you want, I could PM it to you for reference. Let me know.
 
#5 · (Edited)
@Wake, the 1w2 gut fix and core 3 are written all over the post. A 3 with a 1w2 or even 8 gut fix could easily see themselves that way (benevolent leader). I sure do.
Type 3 is about what other people think of her, and she doesn't achieve for other's admiration. Is it all about admiration @JuliaRhys? She has such trouble not* being blunt because the 8 core desires make her do things like act in a blunt fashion. Any 3 would look at how they interact with people and try to be tactful because they're so self-aware of their image. The 3 is the self-promoter of their image.


- to have a goal that one lives, breathes, would die for (type 3)
8s are pretty driven to prove themselves and answer the challenge of their career, and that is how she views her career in the text. This topic can prove to be pretty dicey, where is the line between rising to the topic of the career as a challenge and showing you're a capable individual from an outsider's perspective? How do I completely know or you? We should avoid this topic because they're equally reasonable answers.


- the personal responsibility, sincerity part is indicative of 1. And says who that 8s are deeply distrustful inside and need someone to trust? That's type 6. Pretty basic.
She's not a 1 though, or a 6. Oh, you and your tritype. I think that is a tool to differentiate within a type, and is not actually taking place in someone's psyche. I consider it part of her approach to being an 8. Being an 8 is believing that the Law of Nature is in effect and only the strong will thrive and rule, so you have to be strong. An 8 can think it is possible for people to be held accountable for their actions, but it isn't her main focus. She was born in a Christian household, and that helped get such values into her head.


-ones and eights are gut types, so both are fueled by anger. ones don't speak of idealism and principles when they're unhealthy. this is a healthy ( in fact, it's pretty much the core drive of a one) aspect of the type.
1s would still mourn over the lack of their values in the world because idealism would be lost. I've been an unhealthy 1 on several occasion, and I know. I consider her more healthy than not anyways, so that isn't a answer which holds true anyways. She's an 8 who has had some moral principles taught to her, but she focuses on 8-like instinctive drives outside of that.


-ones do like to be in control of themselves, but they can burn outwardly when they're pursuing what's right. ones can have a scathing anger that can rival an 8s.
1s are considered of the competency triad because they try to rid themselves of their emotions and work without the bias. 1s can blow up, but it is not in a reactive form as she has shown, that's an 8 thing like the 'heart beat' she spoke of.


- rising to the challenge is an assertive triad thing in itself (3,7,8)
She doesn't do it to improve her image like a 3 would. She does it to assert her confidence in self like an 8.


- a lot of 1w2s can envision themselves as benevolent leaders (the benevolence part in an 8 comes from integration to 2, and the benevolence in 1w2 comes from the 2 wing).
Ya, since she's a self-confident 8 she's integrated some making her desire to become benevolent. The process isn't quite flipping a switch, but conquering your fears. She's not a type 1, and you can say whatever you want about tritype to believe what you want. Haha, she'll walk away from this typing saying "I'm an 8, but I'm also a 3w4, 1w2, 7w8", maybe it's best to start fighting against the tritype if that is what happens to people's typing. RH didn't write a book on how the tritype creates your psychology, he only did core types because they're the only thing meaningful.


-yes, 1s and 1 fixers will not tend to blow up at a moment's notice. From what I have read in Julia's posts, she doesn't seem like the kind of person who will blow her fuse at the drop of a hat. Correct me, if needed. In fact, even 8s (unless it's an immature 8w7) are not easily bothered. They are in the reactive triad, so they certainly aren't the types to exercise a shit load of self-control, but they're not as reactive as you may think. in fact, 6s (esp cp) can react faster than 8s.
She'll go from normal to aggressive in a "heart beat", if something drives her feelings in that direction. 8s become aware of what people do that violates their beliefs and react aggressively. Type 1's reaction speed varies, but they have to think through why something crossed their moral principle to gain outrage. 1s are also afraid of making a mistake and hurting themselves due to recklessness, they'll normally give stuff like this second thought slowing reaction speeds. Sure, say whatever you would like about your belief of tritype, but you're only misleading her from her basic type because you don't believe she can be an 8.


- playing with authority can be 8 and 7. 8s are indifferent to authority.
So, while Julia isn't a core 1, she is a core 3 with a strong 1w2 fix. I'll have to rethink her head-fix.
This was challenging authority. 7s don't carry such a confrontational attitude towards all authority. Much more indicative of an 8 type.


-power is not a stupidly vague word to an 8/8 fixer.
Now she's an 8 fixer instead of all the reasoning you gave about her being 1 fixer. You hardly mentioned her core type, and that should be some sort of sin against the Enneagram. The tritype has spoiled typing.
 
#7 ·
Read more carefully, Wake. I haven't called her a core 1 or a core 6, anywhere. I said she has a 1 fix, clearly, at the very start of my post.


I know that she has had a religious upbringing, and a religious upbringing can inculcate certain values in people- including 8s. At the same time, even 8s who come from religious backgrounds will not focus on right/wrong (standing up for what's right) in the manner of 1s and 1 fixers. An 8s sense of justice is connected with vengeance, not morality. Julia said in a previous thread that she is not a fan of those who wear their lack of morals on their sleeve. This is NOT an 8 fixer statement. I have discussed morality with @n2freedom (who, to the best of my knowledge, had a religious upbringing) and her responses on the question are vastly different from Julia's.

- Type 3s seek external validation, but they don't necessarily need it in the form of people fawning all over them. In fact, I know 3w4s who have conflicting feelings about compliments/over admiration and the likes. External validation can also take the form of recognition, which I think Julia is interested in.

- As for tact, I have seen Julia mention that she is able to avoid certain types of conflict at work. That can take some tact. Not all 3s are smooth-talkers. Some 3s have a dry and demanding demeanour. They just know how to work their image.

-3s don't rise to challenges to just improve their 'image'. 3s rise to challenges to get ahead, prove themselves (this is related to self-worth[i can explain this much better, but i am in a hurry]). 3s are also strongly affected by family values, and a lot of them strive to meet their parents' expectations. They are self-motivated, but they take on the values of the environment (Family, culture) they grow up in. Every type in the assertive triad enjoys the thrill of meeting a challenge head-on. It's not exclusive to 8s. Btw, 8s don't meet challenges to "assert their confidence in themselves". They don't need to assert it.

- Julia is not a child that I can lead along wherever I want. You need to stop suggesting that she can't make up her own mind. This is the second time you're doing it. It's not impressive. Conversely, I can say that you're trying to type her an 8 because that's how you've always perceived her and are not open to a dissenting view. Stay on topic. Try not to make too many assumptions about what I believe she 'can'/can't be.

- I am curious about the aggression in a heart-beat part. I asked her to share more about it. I'll hold off comments until I hear from Julia.

- 7s (and cp 6s) can confront authority (especially 7w8s and 7w8 fixers). Yes, it's likely coming from 8 (wing) not fix.

- I 'hardly' mentioned her core type because I was responding to your assertion that she is an 8. By demonstrating that she is a 1 fixer, the conversation would then move on from 'proving'/disproving her being an 8/8 fixer which seems to be the subject of contention at this time. It's a matter of efficiency. In the past, I have told her why I believe she is a 3 via PM. I am addressing something different for now.


_____________________________________________________________________________________________

@JuliaRhys, That post was a response to Wake. The questions I asked, specifically, were the only part directed to you.


- I did not get the impression that your primary goal mentioned was humanitarian/moralistic/idealistic.
I quote:

"Maybe it's being the best screenwriter on the planet or completely rewriting the rule book for Wall Street."

- You stated that you want to be "seen" as a strong, benevolent leader. Perhaps, that image would serve your interests. You may not be 'benevolent' et al, sure. I have only expounded upon what you said. Why would you like to be seen as benevolent, since that's not your actual leadership style. The image focus points to core 3.

- The way you describe anger and intensity applies to ones and eights. 1w2s (and, at times, 1w2 fixers) can be very aggressive and pushy, with a frightening/intimidating intensity when they speak about something they're passionate about. Even while being passionate, they like to maintain a sort of 'regal' bearing. From what I remember, you're not a fan of people who are foul-mouthed and so on. And no, I can sense your intensity. :) The text conveys it well.

-The gluttonous part is a reference to your strong enjoyment of sensory pleasures. I have read your posts in the 8 section, describing your love of food and so on.

I will address the rest later.

A few quick points:

- I consider myself very shameless (colloquially speaking), and I am incredibly difficult to embarrass/shame. In fact, major failure is the only thing that can shame me (temporarily, and in a very deeply personal sense. I have made several mistakes and brushed them off, until I hit I overestimated my abilities to such a large extent that my arrogance and over-confidence cost me a lot. It takes nothing away from core 3. I can, vaguely, remember you sharing a somewhat similar experience. The point is not to shove you into a 'box' labeled 3 because I can 'relate' to you. It's just that you need to understand and explore the type further before you discard it as an option.

What do you think, shame, means in the context, of the Enneagram?

-No, I am not going to disregard information shared just because you've created a new thread. I don't like to cherry pick information, and I will keep my eye on the so-called bigger picture here. Every little detail counts.
 
#9 ·
I'm not going to acknowledge the tritype typing anymore because it blends the lines between types to call someone whatever they choose to in core and tacking on tritype fixations as a reasoning for why their understanding of a type doesn't match what it truly is.

I know that she has had a religious upbringing, and a religious upbringing can inculcate certain values in people- including 8s. At the same time, even 8s who come from religious backgrounds will not focus on right/wrong (standing up for what's right) in the manner of 1s and 1 fixers. An 8s sense of justice is connected with vengeance, not morality. Julia said in a previous thread that she is not a fan of those who wear their lack of morals on their sleeve. This is NOT an 8 fixer statement. I have discussed morality with @n2freedom (who, to the best of my knowledge, had a religious upbringing) and her responses on the question are vastly different from Julia's.
8s act when they feel something is wrong, and do it in an instant as shown in one of the 8s morality threads. They do have a sense of morality, but it is as you stated not focused on much. They say "That action is wrong because I feel this way" and jump into action. Sounds a lot like how she considers herself 'volcanic'.


- Type 3s seek external validation, but they don't necessarily need it in the form of people fawning all over them. In fact, I know 3w4s who have conflicting feelings about compliments/over admiration and the likes. External validation can also take the form of recognition, which I think Julia is interested in.
I don't know if it is all about other people's thoughts as you are so certain. She doesn't talk about other people in her quest, but how she needs to climb. Even during childhood she didn't seek to be the good child through achievements as RH speaks of. She guarded against her parent's wrong doings of giving her chores she didn't want to accept.


- As for tact, I have seen Julia mention that she is able to avoid certain types of conflict at work. That can take some tact. Not all 3s are smooth-talkers. Some 3s have a dry and demanding demeanour. They just know how to work their image.
There image is to change it based on the situation to get the desired results. She has a rugged individualist image written all over hers and adaptation due to other's demands is an alien idea.


-3s don't rise to challenges to just improve their 'image'. 3s rise to challenges to get ahead, prove themselves (this is related to self-worth[i can explain this much better, but i am in a hurry]). 3s are also strongly affected by family values, and a lot of them strive to meet their parents' expectations and demands. They are self-motivated, but they take on the values of the environment (Family, culture) they grow up in. Every type in the assertive triad enjoys the thrill of meeting a challenge head-on. It's not exclusive to 8s. Btw, 8s don't meet challenges to "assert their confidence in themselves". They don't need to assert it.
She's all about rising to the challenge, and has confidence in herself. You're trying really hard to twist the image issue into reasoning for meeting challenges, but it is simply not the case. Both are self-motivated.


- Julia is not a child that I can lead along wherever I want. You need to stop suggesting that she can't make up her own mind. This is the second time you're doing it. It's not impressive. Conversely, I can say that you're trying to type her an 8 because that's how you've always perceived her and are not open to a dissenting view. Stay on topic. Try not to make too many assumptions about what I believe she 'can'/can't be.
I call it as a I see it. All of my assertions are based of my readings from her, and I always back them up with good reasoning in a methodical manner, much more than you. I didn't lead in my first post just because I didn't touch on why each attribute isn't applied to each type, but I tried to reason why it fits one type more than another amongst the most relevant types.

I read shown her definitions and reasoning why a type is in each triad, and how her actions speak to a type. Her attributes do not speak to a 3, but an 8. You are defending a prior position with tritype garbage to make up for your incorrect position. It doesn't matter what Julia does at this point, you've heard enough.


[fixer crap]

- I 'hardly' mentioned her core type because I was responding to your assertion that she is an 8. By demonstrating that she is a 1 fix, the conversation would then move on from 'proving'/disproving her being an 8/8 fixer which seems to be the subject of contention at this time. It's a matter of efficiency. In the past, I have told her why I believe she is a 3 via PM. I am addressing something different for now.
8s are not reactive beasts, but they definitely aren't compliant holding their feelings in close regard to actions. Because she states that she does have a set of moral guidelines only means she has beliefs. She reacts to a strain on her feelings just like an 8. A 3 would have closer control and act as competently as possible without seeming brash, and all of her family states she blows a fuse.
 
#10 ·
Why are you 'reacting' to my 'incorrect' garbage? @Wake LOL


I am not twisting anything, here. I don't really have the time or inclination to discuss her type with you, and argue about matters of theory that are restricted to what "RH" say. There's more to Enneagram theory than is contained in their books.

It's clear that you can't communicate from a detached perspective and would much rather turn this into something 'personal' by spewing unsubstantiated claims about the functional utility of the tri-type theory, my motives etc. You're making it seem like you're personally invested in proving she is a certain type because of how you're reacting. If that weren't enough, you've been putting words in my mouth for a while now. In fact, I was arguing against the idea that 8s are reactive beasts. She claims to blow her fuse on matters of principle and convictions, and only when warranted. And, from what I understand, she doesn't blow her fuse in professional settings and presents a professional, competent demeanour no matter how volcanic she may get in the privacy of her home. That said, this is Julia's thread, and henceforth, I will communicate with her directly. Don't waste words on another 'response' to me.
 
#11 ·
Why are you 'reacting' to my 'incorrect' garbage? @Wake LOL

I am not twisting anything, here. I don't really have the time or inclination to discuss her type with you, and argue about matters of theory that are restricted to what "RH" say. There's more to Enneagram theory than is contained in their books.

It's clear that you can't communicate from a detached perspective and would much rather turn this into something 'personal' by spewing unsubstantiated claims about the functional utility of the tri-type theory, my motives etc. If that weren't enough, you've been putting words in my mouth for a while now. In fact, I was arguing against the idea that 8s are reactive beasts.

This is Julia's thread, and henceforth, I will communicate with her directly. Don't waste words on another 'response' to me. I am done with you.
I gave reasoning with an accusation here and there. You continue believing what you want, nothing has changed.
 
#12 · (Edited)
@JuliaRhys, That post was a response to Wake. The questions I asked, specifically, were the only part directed to you.[/QUOTE]

Ah, I thought only the first sentence was dedicated to him.

You stated that you want to be "seen" as a strong, benevolent leader. Perhaps, that image would serve your interests. You may not be 'benevolent' et al, sure. I have only expounded upon what you said. Why would you like to be seen as benevolent, since that's not your actual leadership style. The image focus points to core 3.
Now that you mention it, I'm not actually sure if by "seen" I mean through other peoples' eyes or my own. I'll probably have to think that over.

- The way you describe anger and intensity applies to ones and eights. 1w2s (and, at times, 1w2 fixers) can be very aggressive and pushy, with a frightening/intimidating intensity when they speak about something they're passionate about. Even while being passionate, they like to maintain a sort of 'regal' bearing. From what I remember, you're not a fan of people who are foul-mouthed and so on. And no, I can sense your intensity. :) The text conveys it well.
I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm not a fan of foul-mouthed people. While I'm certainly not going to train first graders to say every four letter word in the book, I don't care if others my age use it. I curse quite often myself. That being said, I do have a problem with people who curse in front of little kids.

-The gluttonous part is a reference to your strong enjoyment of sensory pleasures. I have read your posts in the 8 section, describing your love of food and so on.
Wow, I had no idea my love of food left such a strong impression. I hope you don't all think I'm some monster pig crouching over the keyboard surrounded by a pile of crisps. ;)

I consider myself very shameless (colloquially speaking), and I am incredibly difficult to embarrass/shame. In fact, major failure is the only thing that can shame me (temporarily, and in a very deeply personal sense. I have made several mistakes and brushed them off, until I hit I overestimated my abilities to such a large extent that my arrogance and over-confidence cost me a lot.
EDIT: After some thinking, I actually don't agree with this.

I am not shamed by personal failure when it comes to work. Thinking back on the major mistakes I made, the shame came not from knowing I'd failed to accomplish what I'd set out to do, but rather the damage I did to people who didn't deserve it.

In one event, I blindly mistreated the few people who stuck by me through thick and thin. It wasn't until six months afterwards that I realized how truly hurtful I'd been. While I'd been busy getting my own way, they'd been in the back of bathroom stalls bawling their eyes out. The shame I felt came from fully understanding just how much I'd hurt them. They didn't deserve any of it. But like I said, when I make mistakes, I make them on a grand scale. It's VERY difficult for me to correct the damage I've done simply because I've done so much of it.

I cannot control whether or not people have the grace to forgive me. That must come from them. All I can do is ask for it. That's a really difficult position for me (albeit a very humbling one).

I've never felt like less of a person for not achieving the goal I set out to do. Geez, I would have the worst self-esteem issues in the world if that were the basis of my personal worth.

It takes nothing away from core 3. I can, vaguely, remember you sharing a somewhat similar experience. The point is not to shove you into a 'box' labeled 3 because I can 'relate' to you. It's just that you need to understand and explore the type further before you discard it as an option.
Hahahaha. I didn't expect you were trying to shovel me in. I think the issue is that I did examine and explore the three fully-- only to realize the further I looked the less right it felt. On a superficial level, yes, I resemble the three. I try to be consciencous of others and do like to succeed-- but I don't wear masks, am not manipulative, and cannot change myself to mirror people's expectations.

If you recall, I did embrace the three as my type for quite some time. That wasn't an act to appease you or anyone else on this forum; I legitimately thought I was a three. I refocused and did more research under the assumption I was looking at my core type. It was then that I began to see problems.

What do you think, shame, means in the context, of the Enneagram?
What it means in the dictionary: a painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc.

Unless we redefine the terms, I am using the standard definitions for the sake of clarity.

-No, I am not going to disregard information shared just because you've created a new thread. I don't like to cherry pick information, and I will keep my eye on the so-called bigger picture here. Every little detail counts.
I wasn't asking you to cherry pick your information. I wasn't even asking you to disregard the old thread. What I was asking you to discard was the old letter I sent you. If you want to keep it, so be it. I don't particularly care.
 
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#13 · (Edited)
Julia, I'd like you to read the 3, 7, 8, 1 descriptions here:

1. the enneagram ...info from the underground

(be wary of parts of 3 descriptions that overemphasize feelings of 'worthlessness'. I have incredibly high self-esteem, and the only time I felt like my self-worth had been affected, slightly, was when I committed a blunder that cost me nearly everything I had worked for.)

2. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

3.http://www.claudionaranjo.net/pdf_files/personality/character_neurosis_intro_english.pdf

This is a very useful document. Naranjo is one of the founding theorists of the Enneagram. Try and read through the entire pdf.

If you can, do get his book Character and Neurosis. It'll be immensely helpful. Self-typing can an arduous and lengthy process, and no level of discussion on a type me thread online will make the kind of difference to your self-awareness, that reading and pondering over a seminal Enneagram work.


__________

you responded while I was typing this message.

Let's see. I am short on time right now, but I'll expand on the shame part when I am free.

Ah, great. I am going to highlight Type 3 portions of the questionnaire you sent me. It's far more detailed than this one. I will PM it to you now. If you're open to sharing segments here, let me know. If not, I'll be more than willing to discuss it privately.


@JuliaRhys
PM sent.
 
#14 ·
@JuliaRhys Timeless' article discusses RH's Holy Ideas by saying that:
Type Eight’s “Holy Ideas” are Truth and Innocence. The Holy Idea determines which type a person ultimately grows into; if they are particularly in-tune with the notion of innocence, over time they develop a delusion that no one is innocent, thus justifying cutthroat behavior. It's every man for themselves in the Eight's world.
The Holy Idea of Type Three is hope, which is defined as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” Type Three is also an image type (like Two and Four), which means that their primary sphere of action is in the world of perception – both of themselves and others. If you place the holy idea of Hope within the realm of image, you start to understand the core motivation of the Type Three; they modify their image in order to gain what is wanted.
These serve as reasoning to RH's chart which is free at enneagraminstitute.com
 
#15 · (Edited)
All of your traits fit 8 from what I can see. Maybe the fixation, virtue, passion, and holy idea click with you, but I haven't seen them.

With the 3 your traits don't make a lot of sense, but I could imagine the image of success being something you're trying to embody by working your way to the top of your career, and that is why you have a negative connotation with a position at my workplace though I am just in school.

The social aspects of the 3 seem totally alien to you. I don't know how a 3 doesn't feel they wear an image in the eyes of others given their type. Then again, maybe there is a great divide between the two which I'm not aware of which allows them these image tendencies to be alien to one and other. If so there isn't a great lesson learned from the Enneagram by this kind of 3 because they just learn there is an end status which they want to have, unless this image is important to be shown off in which case it's for others to admire.
 
#16 ·
@JuliaRhys
based on this, my guess is
heart fix: 3w2
head fix: 7w8
gut fix: probably 8w7, I could see 1w2 though as well
Instinct Variant: Sp/So or Sp/Sx (you are VERY Sp dom)
MBTI: ENTJ

as for the order? I think it's 3w2-8w7-7w8 based on this info, but I could definitely see 8 first (if your gut fix is 1, it's definitely not your main type). I would also see you as 3w4 as opposed to 3w2, I see little connection to 4 (it's also possible that you don't have a wing at all, in fact, I think this is kind of likely)
if you are a core 3w2, you are nothing like the stereotypical plastic-y cheerleader type.

for comparison: Kenny G 3w2 Sp/Sx
 
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#20 ·
@JuliaRhys
based on this, my guess is
heart fix: 3w2
head fix: 7w8
gut fix: probably 8w7, I could see 1w2 though as well
Instinct Variant: Sp/So or Sp/Sx (you are VERY Sp dom)
MBTI: ENTJ
Your choice of MBTI is very interesting. And what gives you the Sp-dom feel? Instincts are a bit vague in my head.

I was considering 1w2 and 2w1 for awhile, primarily because Kaoru from Rurouni Kenshin is purported to be a 2w1, and have a similar "short fuse." Then again, maybe I shouldn't be basing types off how well I relate to anime characters. :p

Okay, so we definitely have a 3w2 somewhere in the mix.

as for the order? I think it's 3w2-8w7-7w8 based on this info, but I could definitely see 8 first (if your gut fix is 1, it's definitely not your main type). I would also see you as 3w4 as opposed to 3w2, I see little connection to 4 (it's also possible that you don't have a wing at all, in fact, I think this is kind of likely)
if you are a core 3w2, you are nothing like the stereotypical plastic-y cheerleader type.
Whhhhaaaaaaaaat? You mean I can't be a bubble headed Barbie doll?! No fair!

for comparison: Kenny G 3w2 Sp/Sx
It's actually frightening how much my boss looks like Kenny G.

That being said, he's got a really good vibe. I don't know how well I mirror it, but I like his attitude a lot.
 
#17 · (Edited)
Edit: I'm back. @JuliaRhys

This is more difficult than I thought it would be. Alright so, from reading *only* your questionnaire, no core type immediately stuck out. I saw 3, 8, and 1 mostly. From reading the follow-up post, it seems to be tipping toward 8. People saw a 7ish attitude, but I'm considering a 6w7 head fix for you, and if you have 8w7, it might explain the 7ish-ness, but I honestly didn't see much Core 7 motivations at all. You seem very business-like overall. (Also LSD, hyperactive? Not really).

I can't make any conclusive claims on whether you're Core 3 or 8, but I am leaning toward 8. I'm trying to figure out where your 1ish tendencies come from. To be honest, there are certain similarities between 1 and 8, and 1 and 3 which are fuzzy to me. Wake and Boss might be able to help out there (I haven't read their discussion and I'm not sure I want to =P) Again, your conscientious tendencies may be coming from the 6, not 1.

Tentative: 8w7 3w2 6w7 So/Sx
 
#19 ·
Edit: I'm back. @JuliaRhys

This is more difficult than I thought it would be. Alright so, from reading *only* your questionnaire, no core type immediately stuck out. I saw 3, 8, and 1 mostly. From reading the follow-up post, it seems to be tipping toward 8. People saw a 7ish attitude, but I'm considering a 6w7 head fix for you, and if you have 8w7, it might explain the 7ish-ness, but I honestly didn't see much Core 7 motivations at all. You seem very business-like overall. (Also LSD, hyperactive? Not really).
Thanks for the link. My knowledge of LSD is limited.

I've been considering the possibility of a six in my tri-type. But tri-type feels like a whole other ballgame when I'm just working on core type. :)

I can't make any conclusive claims on whether you're Core 3 or 8, but I am leaning toward 8. I'm trying to figure out where your 1ish tendencies come from. To be honest, there are certain similarities between 1 and 8, and 1 and 3 which are fuzzy to me. Wake and Boss might be able to help out there (I haven't read their discussion and I'm not sure I want to =P) Again, your conscientious tendencies may be coming from the 6, not 1.
The idea that my one-ish tendencies might come from a six-ish nature is very interesting. Haven't thought about it like that. Will definitely look into it.

Yeah, some of these types have similarities that make it hard to distinguish. Like one and eight anger. I know the motivation is different, but when you're looking at the expression of them, they can look awfully similar.

Tentative: 8w7 3w2 6w7 So/Sx
[/QUOTE]
 
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#18 ·
-I am going to add that I have never felt like "less of a person" no matter what I did wrong and no matter how it devastated me. Nor have I suggested that a 3s self-worth is tied in with every little goal they set, and that their self-worth takes a fatal blow every single time they miss a goal. When I say that it ( a blunder that just about ruined me) affected my self-worth, I am referring to feeling less accomplished, less competent, less productive, not as much of the amazingly accomplished bitch that I am. There's more to how I felt, but I am not going to get into it right now.

I am not talking about feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I never degrade myself, and most 3s are extremely motivated, self-confident, optimistic and driven. Overcoming obstacles and moving steadily towards their goals comes naturally them. They are able to take calculated risks, and they know that setbacks will be overcome when encountered.

-The foul mouthed part was a poor paraphrase of the point you made about disliking people who aren't courteous.

-I am not suggesting that you decided on core 3 to appease me. That would be outlandish :laughing:
The part about not being able to adapt to expectations (it's not so much about adapting to people's expectations; it's about adapting to circumstances in order to forge ahead) is an interesting one. Not a lot of 3s will describe their identity-formation and expression in relation to masks. Keep in mind, I am also an actress and poet. Life is a performance to me. My Type 3 Neurologist cousin, for example, would never say that he wears a lot of masks. As for manipulation, Type 3 is about utilizing/sculpting image to further goals. It's not about manipulating people, as such. I know you're a straight forward, unpretentious woman. I am the same way. Type 3 is negatively associated with superficiality, manipulative tendencies (manipulating people..using and throwing them etc.), being a sucker for praise and so on. These are stereotypes, and they don't hold true for every 3 out there. Every type is manipulative in it's own way. What you manipulate and what that manipulation is aimed at..is what provides useful clues into type.

I would suggest that you read the suggested material before ruling out 3 altogether. As you know, none of this personal. Your type..is yours to determine. I have given you my objective evaluation on the basis of what you shared. I did consider core 7 for you, but it didn't quite fit. Anyway, keep reading and exploring.

- side note:Think about what you had to say about diplomacy and productivity.

-No, I don't see picture you as a lil piggy drooling all over your keyboard masturbating to food porn. ;)

I was, obviously, referring to, as I said, deeply relishing pleasurable sensations. You did self-type as a 7w8, at one point. You don't seem like the kind to pick a type label on a whim, so I am going to assume that you related to the pleasure-seeking drive of the 7 as well as the lustier, grounded aspects of the 8 wing.


I have pointed out a lot of 1-fix related quotes in my PM to you. I have also bolded portions that had to do with 3 and 7. Since, none of the information shared has been made public, it's difficult to quote things in support of my conclusions. I have little else to say about why I don't type you as a core 8. I'll be willing to discuss more of this stuff via PM and answer questions, if you're interested. If I have anything else to add here, I'll do so at my convenience.

All the best:)
 
#21 ·
@JuliaRhys
- you are nothing like Kaoru from Rurouni Kenshin. you are rational, productive, not prone to emotional outbursts and self controlled. if anything you're like a combination of Megumi Takani, Aoshi Shinomori and a little bit of Yahiko and Sano thrown in there, but nothing like Kaoru. if you've every seen Naruto, you remind me a lot of Tsunade (a 7w8 Sx/Sp) only more stable, more workaholic and more disciplined.
- I don't see core 1. you aren't a superego core
- you are DEFINITELY not a core 2 for the same reason.
- I don't really know how to explain how you're an Sp dom, you just give a VERY strong Sp vibe for some reason. what types of things do you focus on mostly? are you particularly aware of comfort? pain? your financial situation? what you need to do to stay afloat? interested in financial advancement?
 
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#28 ·
@JuliaRhys
- you are nothing like Kaoru from Rurouni Kenshin. you are rational, productive, not prone to emotional outbursts and self controlled. if anything you're like a combination of Megumi Takani, Aoshi Shinomori and a little bit of Yahiko and Sano thrown in there, but nothing like Kaoru. if you've every seen Naruto, you remind me a lot of Tsunade (a 7w8 Sx/Sp) only more stable, more workaholic and more disciplined.
Hahaha. That sounds like a good combination. Now if only I could take on some of Saito's character. That guy was by far and away the best character of the series.

- I don't see core 1. you aren't a superego core
- you are DEFINITELY not a core 2 for the same reason.
- I don't really know how to explain how you're an Sp dom, you just give a VERY strong Sp vibe for some reason. what types of things do you focus on mostly? are you particularly aware of comfort? pain? your financial situation? what you need to do to stay afloat? interested in financial advancement?
I notice pain but tend to ignore it, especially if it comes from my body. I believe a lot of sicknesses begin in the mind.

I don't know if I notice comfort. I think I just enjoy it while it exists. That being said, I know when I'm blessed and do not take things for granted.

I am aware of my financial situation. I don't stress over it, but I do keep it in mind. It doesn't take a lot to keep me afloat. I'm not a big spender in general. Would I like more money? Yes. More money means I can play in the stock market. It also means I can give more back to the people I care about. I often use money as a means of expressing compassion/kindness/affection for others.
 
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#22 ·
Just thought I'd throw my $0.02 in here, since I noticed a lot of the discussion has revolved around Type 1 vs Type 8. I'm sure there are other members who've been here a lot longer than me who could describe this accurately, but i suspect I have a lot of personal experience in the differences (and similarities) between these two types.

I am a Type 8, and I'm almost entirely sure my father is a Type 1. I've gotten tons of comments from people noting the similarities in our personalities, and (those who are close) will usually add that it's strange that we fight so bitterly over some things. Indeed, we'll often agree on a principle but fight about it anyway, usually over the best way to accomplish it/how it should be attained. But that's just the point. A type 8 and a type 1 can appear very similar based on their actions and goals. It's their motivations and beliefs that are completely different. From what I've experienced, both 1s and 8s can seem very definite in their beliefs, even to the point of appearing moralistic, but a Type 1 is often informed by tradition and a definitive 'moral code', which can be either from an external source, internal creation, or a mix of the two. A Type 8 is more liable to disregard a definitive code and function based on the circumstances that surround them; this does NOT mean that 8s are either amoral or disorganized. Myself, and I think many other 8s, would say that we strive to be consistent in acting upon what we hold to be good. It's just that we do not have a specific code we constantly reference as if it were a road map. So it might be worthwhile to think about your decision-making process, to distinguish between 1 and 8.

Another key difference seems to be the way of getting to the objective. Many of the Type 1s I know seem to care about how they do things just as much as the goal they wish to achieve; if their actions are not consistent with their code, they will not compromise them. I tend to have a much more fluid view of things like this, and I'm completely willing to do something less-than-noble if the end result will be positive. This might not be something characteristic of all Eights, and it's also likely heavily influenced by my tritype (something I'll get to later), but it's nonetheless a very noticable contrast between my father and I.

Finally, I've noticed that many type 1s and type 8s have a markedly different view on tradition. My dad is a practicing Catholic, and follows many traditions to the tee. (IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not a criticism or attack on religion; I am far from an atheist and have no problems with religious people. I'm simply pointing out different viewpoints.) Personally, I have little use for tradition, unless there is a practical application for it. While I would be fully supportive of giving to the needy and helping provide for society's weakest, I see no need to follow traditions like eating fish only on Friday as an act of sacrifice, while someone like my father sees worth in them both.

Despite the differences, though, the fundamental similarities are strong. Both of us would (and have done so) rush to protect another without a second thought, believe firmly in everything we say and do, and can be completely blindsided and crushed by a betrayal of trust. It's actually not hard to see why 1s and 8s can be confused, as not everyone conforms to type stereotypes perfectly. The differences, though, lie in why an individual does certain things.

ON TRITYPES:

@JuliaRhys : I noticed you said you were investigating the possibility of having a 6 in your tritype. I really encourage you to do this. My tritype is 863, and the amount of influence that 6 has on my personality is astounding. It reinforces the 8 in certain areas, and tones it down in others. It actually has a reinforcing effect on my personal convictions and beliefs, although the fundamental decision-making process is still very much from a Type 8's perspective. In fact, the 8-6 tritype combination probably makes me a lot more '1-like', so if you're struggling to type yourself between 8 and 1, but you're being told you're '8-ish', I wonder if your personality type is fairly close to mine.

This is why I think the tritype is so important, and actually under-appreciated. I don't like the idea that someone is 'purely' one type; everyone has a multitude of influences, and the tritype can account for this a bit better, with differenct influences, pulls, and motivations being described.
 
#23 ·
@Grau the Great, the most notable thing I took away from conversations of how she would like someone to be is having a strong opinion, argue/fight for your side without surrender, and be tough as to not show weakness. Her values are definitely there because how she characterizes actions are directly in line with this.

An example of these values coming out is that we argued about a topic, and I realized she was not going to change on her beliefs, and I decided she wasn't budging me so I agreed to disagree. While thinking she intensely studied me in silence for about 10-15 seconds before I started laughing because it was weird, it shown her instinctual drive to drive to not accept anything but victory. She said she would never accept a truce on anything, because he simply doesn't do it, and we struggled to move on as I was baffled by her stance. The issue of private schooling's place in our society is still opened argument according to her, and I feel like South Korea to her North Korea :laughing:

Do you have similar emphasis on these points?
 
#24 ·
For clarification, I did not say I would never accept a truce on anything. What I said was that I do not "agree to disagree." There is something to that concept that I do not like and I do not wish to make a habit of using it. It has a cop out feel to it.
 
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#30 · (Edited)
There you have it @JuliaRhys type 8 that other type 8s have difficulty identifying with. Maybe the tritype is an answer to this question, but I'm uncertain if that is the source of your variation. This thread is becoming tiresome, and I don't give much value to the ideas past 3, and that is a failure given the recommended site's definitions appeal to you. Boss can make whatever he wants of the 3 and how he expects you to relate to it. I've spoke to you about 7s in the past, and it is an old topic between us.
 
#42 ·
@Wake, you know what, I fuckin love how honest you are. I don't dislike you, but when someone expresses their dislike of me, to my face, there is a directness to it that I respect. As I said earlier, you have turned this into a personal issue but I haven't. So, I am fine with you.

p.s. Mixing in these so-called 'attacks' lowers the quality of your posts, but other than that, it's entertaining.
 
#43 ·
Oh, people don't like attacks. I have no opinion on outsiders beliefs of how I should conduct myself unless they're in position of authority.

I dislike your methods of typing. When you're assertive as you are and I take issue with something, I learn to detest the impact you have because it is viewed as a negative influence. I don't care to delve into the details, but it's an issue I have with your evaluation (shown through reasoning for points), and interaction with the typee. Are 1s known to be the most civil to all people?

Funny story about the honesty issue I have. The other day a professor told me to write about my experience in her class and I told her it ate all of the time of my other classes and harmed their grades. XD I know a lot of people like to use tact and truth avoidance in those things, but it's so much nicer to show them the truth in an objective manner. If you never teach them than they never learn. If you're at their mercy then it's best to just show them the truth and hope they learn on their own.
 
#44 ·
PM me @Wake:)

I am curious about these problems you speak of, and I am not interested in derailing this thread. As for attacks and "outsiders' beliefs", don't worry about it. It's just pretty obvious that any kind of ad hominem (your comments don't really qualify, but you can sound emotionally charged, quite anxious and personally invested) diminish the quality of discussion. Anyway, do write to me.

P.S. Even in your frustration, annoyance, and possibly anger, you're still quite civil:)
 
#51 ·
Final Answer

My finding in some quick studies have been that Susan Rhodes author of The Positive Approach to the Enneagram and Renee Baron in her book The Enneagram Made Easy obviously had the likes of @Boss or @JuliaRhys in mind when they created the type 8 definition. RH and Naranjo both have the self-serving desire driven 8 in mind, who doesn't abide by any set of morals in their books. I am going to take the opinions of the latter as closer to the truth about what it means to be each type.

I suppose the 3 isn't centered around projecting an image even in their speech at any given moment, though it's very possible, but the mere stimulation that comes from achieving. They can root themselves in the social aspects of others' opinions of them or they can be all about achievements. A 3 isn't limited to any level of either of those in character, but it seems as though they must take a liking to the stimulation of achieving. The toughness thing can be explained by giving such great emphasis on meeting goals, as they harden themselves to push harder in order to be better at what they do. Maybe the manipulative social aspects of wearing a mask come from the 3 giving a great level of care to other's feelings and achieving the a goal even if deceit is what it takes. Perhaps it is a developmental item or a genetic matter which allows some to be self-aware of their image and act accordingly, while others seem to act out of instinct without care for self-awareness. I find the fact that the less self-aware 3s are not of the reactive triad is misleading because the aggression has not shown to be controlled.

8s are to be considered someone who is self-serving and does not believe morality is worth caring about because they're out for themselves, and is incredibly materialistic due to greed. Materialism and a belief that everyone is out for themselves creates an individual who does not trust anyone to hold a position over them while they get what is theirs. Survival is the underlying drive to this type, as Timeless states.

By this definition @JuliaRhys you're a 3, just one on the opposite end of the 3 spectrum from our closest friends. I still think you're a beautiful person, and this experience has opened my eyes to the more positive possibilities of a 3.
 
#52 ·
My finding in some quick studies have been that Susan Rhodes author of The Positive Approach to the Enneagram and Renee Baron in her book The Enneagram Made Easy obviously had the likes of @Boss or @JuliaRhys in mind when they created the type 8 definition. RH and Naranjo both have the self-serving desire driven 8 in mind, who doesn't abide by any set of morals in their books. I am going to take the opinions of the latter as closer to the truth about what it means to be each type.

I suppose the 3 isn't centered around projecting an image even in their speech at any given moment, though it's very possible, but the mere stimulation that comes from achieving. They can root themselves in the social aspects of others' opinions of them or they can be all about achievements. A 3 isn't limited to any level of either of those in character, but it seems as though they must take a liking to the stimulation of achieving. The toughness thing can be explained by giving such great emphasis on meeting goals, as they harden themselves to push harder in order to be better at what they do. Maybe the manipulative social aspects of wearing a mask come from the 3 giving a great level of care to other's feelings and achieving the a goal even if deceit is what it takes. Perhaps it is a developmental item or a genetic matter which allows some to be self-aware of their image and act accordingly, while others seem to act out of instinct without care for self-awareness. I find the fact that the less self-aware 3s are not of the reactive triad is misleading because the aggression has not shown to be controlled.

8s are to be considered someone who is self-serving and does not believe morality is worth caring about because they're out for themselves, and is incredibly materialistic due to greed. Materialism and a belief that everyone is out for themselves creates an individual who does not trust anyone to hold a position over them while they get what is theirs. Survival is the underlying drive to this type, as Timeless states.

By this definition @JuliaRhys you're a 3, just one on the opposite end of the 3 spectrum from our closest friends. I still think you're a beautiful person, and this experience has opened my eyes to the more positive possibilities of a 3.
Which wing do you lean towards?
 
#53 ·
So far I haven’t read anything from you that doesn’t fit with how I typed you in your video thread. I’m curious about the morality thing if you want to elaborate a bit about it. Carrying their lack of morals like a badge of pride can be a lot of things. What lack of morals do you mean? And how do people wear it like a badge of pride?
 
#54 ·
I don't like people who delight in manipulating or abusing others for their personal benefit/entertainment. I'm not talking about a prank here or there-- I mean complete psychological and physical manipulation. For example, I've met men who are proud of the fact that they date girls who lack self-confidence. They brag about using these girls, who were never told they deserved better. I've met producers who find immense pleasure in pressuring up and coming actors and actresses into risky and unhealthy behavior for the sake of their career. I've known women who repeatedly flaunt their ongoing affair to the man's wife for the sole purpose of mentally destroying her.

There are a lot of people out there who find a sense of self-worth and amusement in actively harming others. These people then look for a crowd to spill their guts to in a "tell all" confession. Maybe it's just me, but by sitting in and providing one more pair of ears for them, I feel like I have actively participated in the abuse. By hearing and not acting, I am essentially condoning their behavior.

Unless I am learning information for the sake of using it to right the situation, I do not want to be around people like that.

EDIT: I am not, of course, negating personal responsibility. But in cases where it is clear people are being used-- it makes me very upset.
 
#68 ·
I wonder how much her jobs position changes the conditioning leading to her wing tendencies. She's an SP/SO, but has had to learn to trust other people and that they aren't naturally her preferred method to fix problems and do work. It seems like a 3w2 would consider that matter to feel pretty natural.
 
#74 ·
Yes. Dr. King was a highly actualized individual and one of the greatest leaders in history. The same sentiment could come from a 1. Bishop Tutu has said something along the lines of "if you remain neutral in situations of injustice, you have sided with the oppressor". Leaders who lead emancipatory movements believe in such statements, regardless of type, and they need to make such statements in order to inspire people to not remain apathetic in the face of injustices/evil (that have destroyed their lives) or whatever term they prefer to use. Besides, alluding to transformative leaders of Dr. King's calibre to type just about anyone is incredibly silly.

That's a good quote, but it doesn't help your case one way or another. You're trying way too hard. Give it up.

P.S. "actual" 8w9? That "actual 8w9" may well have been a 1 for all you know. Most people typing him an 8w9 haven't even read his biography. An equally good argument can be made for typing him a 1. Typing the man's videos on youtube means little. Besides, typings of leaders and celebrities are speculative, at best. Still, if I make the concession and give it to you..that he was an 8w9, your point still doesn't hold much weight.
 
#75 ·
Type Watches words reflected what RH had said, take a look at the text below. @JuliaRhys.

If the wing theory is about looking more like a 2 than a 4 then it is completely not applicable to you because you don't look the part of a artistically or nurturingly bent 3 at all.

The 3w2 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w2 inclusive, accessible to everyone and more mainstream. They are on average more sociable and are more about putting their best them forward. They want to shine. The more extroverted 3w2s have a beaming brightness to them. As one poster put it:

"It is far more about end product than process for me. I don’t really need to appear to have taking no effort whatsoever, though I hardly wish to lay out my every faltering baby step in my process for review. What is more important is what you are, how you present, how you impress. It is about commanding that stage, turning in a scintillating performance, dazzling them all so you are the one that gets remembered. And sure it takes work to get there, to be that person. But that’s just part of it all. That happens, but it is nothing to dwell on, because of course you have to work hard, that’s just part of the game, nothing remarkable there, let’s just look at what we’ve become."


The 3w4 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w4 exclusive, more unique and original, just out of reach and admired from a distance. 3w4s are more aloof, more melanchonlic and icy cool. They tend to romanticize the hard work needed to get to top when no one was looking: "the dignity that is in work"(Obama). They are about putting their best foot forward in a more professional dignified manner. As one poster put it:

"The 3w4 romanticising of “hard work” is really the keen awareness of the image/reality dichotomy – it’s about “everything you don’t see” – the work it takes to “appear as though there is no effort involved” – it’s about knowing “what it takes”; that sense of bittersweetness every time someone gives you a compliment. It’s the secret you keep of everything you’re not – of how you’ve had to become, but that no one else will ever know. It’s the steely, gracious and enigmatic smile as you walk on stage, thinking about “what it’s taken to get here”. That’s the 3w4 romanticism of hard work. That sense of being born with leaden feet, but having overcome it with nothing but willpower and desire, to take to flight as though always born with great and golden wings."
 
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