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Discussion Starter #1
How to INTPs deal with being invited to places, like birthday parties or movies or something?

I don't know if it's just me, but I hate being invited into social gatherings. Or... anything, really. Even when it's to somewhere I 'might find interesting' (...?), I hate going anywhere that requires actually experiencing anything. It always seems rude to decline, though, especially when the invitation is coupled with "I thought you'd enjoy it", so I always end up making up exuses or giving an ambiguous reply ("Okay, I'll see if I have time"). Even worse when I have to explain why I don't want to go.

So, do other INTPs hate this sort of stuff, and how do you guys deal with them?


**I'm actually an INXP to be safe, which explains my INFP status, but I find that I'm identifying more and more with INTP. Never bothered to change my type, though, so bear with me.
 

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Even worse when I have to explain why I don't want to go.
Ugh, this has been killing me recently.

I just get really stubborn. I feel bad about it too, but I have confidence that the people I care about caring about me will understand even if they aren't necessarily happy.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I just get really stubborn. I feel bad about it too, but I have confidence that the people I care about caring about me will understand even if they aren't necessarily happy.
Good point. I don't understand why some people can't accept the simple explanation "I don't want to go".

The people who are really close to me have gotten used to my declining everything, but now they're under the impression that they shouldn't bring me anywhere at all.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I hate going anywhere that requires actually experiencing anything.

Really? I often get invited to people's houses with nothing to do and I don't want to go because I'll waste my time doing boring things. I wouldn't mind new experiences.
It might just be me, but I don't like to watching or experimenting things I (and most people) already understand in theory. For example, I probably wouldn't go to see a space rocket launch; I already know it launches, and I don't want to go through all the trouble of getting there. Most of the time, the trouble outweighs the actual event for me. Not to even mention that it looked better in my mind.

But then again, most of the things I'm interested in require almost nothing but a brain, so it might as well be because I'm not really interested in anything that requires actually going somewhere to experience it....

Is this unusual for an INTP?
 

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I don't have this problem. My friends are quite aware about what I would try and what I wouldn't. For example, they know that if they are going dancing there is no point in calling me. Nonetheless, when they do propose something I don't want to do I will simply say "I don't feel like it". If they ask why not I will repeat until they get the message.

I don't mind hanging out with friends though. I enjoy their company :happy:
 

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I think you hit edit and it gives you a delete option. Well, when I hover over the EDIT button, it says Edit/Delete Message, so....
I know, but when I do that I can't find a "delete" option. I tried erasing all of the text but it only said that I must have at least 10 characters to save so I can't delete it this way.
:confused:
 

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I don't think you can delete a post. Just edit it to look like this:

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Post deleted by [username here]
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or something to that effect.
 

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I don't think you can delete a post. Just edit it to look like this:

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Post deleted by [username here]
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or something to that effect.
Thanks! :happy:
 

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The part I don't like is scheduled events I really am spontaneous and just like doing things because I feel like it. I don't mind going to friends gatherings, but don't stay more than several hours which is about my limit.
 

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It's okay when the plan isn't set in stone, like a "Why don't we go there?" sort of thing. Then I can like the idea or reject it totally and not feel bad about it. It's when they're planning an event you kind of have to go. I don't really mind going to things, actually - I'm comfortable enough around my friends. I've known them for most of my life.

One thing I've made it pretty clear I'm just not interested in is going to clubs. There's this one club in town for under eighteens - The Cathouse - but it's filled with emos and scene kids and wannabe goths and the like. My friends aren't emos or scene kids or anything, but they can stand to listen to some pretty horrible music and they think it would just be fun to try. Why would I want to do that? I have NO interest in it whatsoever. Until there's some sort of new wave/REAL goth rock unders club in town, I'm staying at home.

Usually, though, I like going out with my friends.
 

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I like being invited to social gatherings but only if there's gonna be more than one other person I know there.

I'm usually ok with social situations in general, but I often have to kind of prepare for them, get myself ready to interract with unfamiliar people and such. I love clubbing and drinking and house parties and all that kinda stuff, but doing nothing or just getting together with a few close friends is way easier and requires less mental effort. It all vastly depends on what kind of people will be there and what they'll be doing as well.
 
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I'm not going to tell a lie to cover up the simple and completely acceptable fact that I just don't want to socialize. However, I'm scared of committing myself to events because I never know what my mood is going to be minute-to-minute, and so how will I know if I want to partake in said event at said time? To answer the question, I don't hate invitations because I always tell the inviter I won't know until the day of. If she/he has to have an immediate answer I'll usually decline.
 

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I won't let people coerce me into anything other than thanksgiving and christmas. If I don't want to go, I just say no. If they have an issue with it, they won't be a friend of mine for long because I will avoid them. I have a policy when it comes to dealing with things like that. I have to pretend to be a human being when I interact on other people's time, but on my on personal time, screw it. Those who earn my respect will be permitted to see the real me, and I will treat them well, but also expect the same - which means I can decline an invitation and not get any flack over it.

I also find it mind-numbing to hang out with someone unless theres something to actually -do-. Why are we just going to sit there and stare at each other. Anything we manage to say in those couple of hours would have been put more neatly in an email anyway. This is unless of course, I'm going to actually need this person physically. I don't need many people other than my boyfriend.. physically. :eek:
 
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If there are people there that I know, i can't wait to get there. If I'm going to be around a bunch of strangers and/or loose acquaintances, I'll probably feign my own death or something.
 

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^ Haha yeah. Well If someone invites me somewhere like a birthday party I'm usually a bit daunted by the social aspect of it. It all depends on how many people there I'd know that would determine whether I go or not. If I genuinely find something interesting though I'll go and do it, alot of the time though, I'll say yes even if I don't want to just to break out of my comfort zone.
 
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