Now of course im going to hard look at myself to try and figure out how I have ended up with another grade A jerk, but the irony is that I was trying to be so "keep an open mind" don't let your previous bad experience taint you to this new one, that I didn't listen to my instincts which told me things were not right. .
when did you start to think that things were right? early on but you ignored it... or... once you were already emotionally invested so you talked yourself into keeping an open mind?
Man he was good though, a very, very convincing liar, best manipulator I think ive ever come accross.
have you completely cut him off now? is he still calling, promising, begging? or did he fold up like tent and move on?
as for your OP, yeah.... I have ignored my intuition and felt rotten about it. i have a few sad tales about boys who have led me astray but I "wanted to believe them, instead of trusting my gut..." yeah...not good. So I'll share this sad tale (not boy related).
When I applied to graduate school, I had it pretty much narrowed down to my Dream school and the Crap school that was going to pay me a lot of money to go there. I held out waiting for Dream to send the acceptance, but Crap was getting impatient and wanted an answer. So I called Dream to see if someone could let me know but they didn't give that info out over the phone then. But the nice receptionist told me that acceptances were mailed a couple weeks before and if I didn't get mine, it probably was an oversight but sorry to say, it was probably bad news anyway.
So...I had a nice long cry and my gut was telling...don't make any decisions while you're emotional. But did I listen? no...the "sensible" part of me said "call Crap back and jump on all that money before they pull it and now you have 2 places not accepting you." so through my sobs...I called, accepted Crap's offer, faxed contracts and commitments. Two days later, a mangled piece of mail arrives. oops. Here's Dream's acceptance letter, mangled from a bad encounter with a mail sorting machine. again, gut told me to cancel on Crap and accept Dream, but I didn't want to hurt Crap school's department...so i sucked it up. Misery. I finished one semester, transferred back to my alma mater, and finished a different master's degree there.
so now I really try to trust the gut. it's just harder, i know, when it is matters of the heart. hence why I shared this story instead. therefore, don't despair too much
@cococabane ... at least you had the fortitude to break it off. Lots of ppl remain doormats and never take the self-inventory that you seem to be doing now.