[Hruberen]

So does anyone else here get even more angry when they are witnessed by someone they care about when they are angry?

I'm pretty sure I do.

 

[Lightshadow86]

Hmm, I sure can relate, unless I'm long gone, or locked up in my room to avoid the conflict.

 

[inscribed]

I do. I feel more emotionally alive, and also more allowed to be angry, when I'm with someone who loves me. Probably from the need to have my feelings validated by someone outside myself -- and the subconscious hope that if I show my feelings, they'll deal with it for me.

When I'm healthier, I'll get that angry whether or not I'm alone, and deal with my feelings and the situation by myself. I'm a very dependent sort of 9.

I wonder if the witness' reaction makes any difference, for others?

 

[DJArendee]

the following is what happens when 9's get angry.

 

[Sonny]

Lol ^ :laughing:

It's the sense of obligation thing that gets me. If I'm in my own company chances are I'll have time to think things out and my anger will dissipate naturally, I'll be able to understand it and know if I had a "right" to be angry, or at the least take my mind off it like a good avoidant 9.

If other people are around I do not have that opportunity and if they're pushing me to change my mood/attitude I will become resentful and annoyed because my natural state is to forgive others and ignore myself, in a moment when I'm allowing anger through I'm not doing that for once, instead I'm allowing what I think/feel to be of importance but receiving the message that I can't. Chances are it's been growing for a while so acknowledging that I'm not okay with something is important to me. At that time not giving me space is something I take as lack of respect and value towards me.

Plus on top of that I hate anger in myself so will already be pissed at myself for allowing it to rise and not want anyone to see me not in control.

 

[nigborg]

Lol ^ :laughing:

It's the sense of obligation thing that gets me. If I'm in my own company chances are I'll have time to think things out and my anger will dissipate naturally, I'll be able to understand it and know if I had a "right" to be angry, or at the least take my mind off it like a good avoidant 9.

If other people are around I do not have that opportunity and if they're pushing me to change my mood/attitude I will become resentful and annoyed because my natural state is to forgive others and ignore myself, in a moment when I'm allowing anger through I'm not doing that for once, instead I'm allowing what I think/feel to be of importance but receiving the message that I can't. Chances are it's been growing for a while so acknowledging that I'm not okay with something is important to me. At that time not giving me space is something I take as lack of respect and value towards me.

Plus on top of that I hate anger in myself so will already be pissed at myself for allowing it to rise and not want anyone to see me not in control.

That's about my way of getting angry to the letter.

For me it's worse when there are people who are important to me around when I get angry. Mostly because the only thing which annoys me more than being angry, is being SEEN to get angry/ upset. In my case it's usually because I almost always have a perfectly logical reason for NOT getting angry. Of course the problem is that anger does not really listen to reason, literally. If I get angry, I get angry whether or not I'm justified in my head.