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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi y'all,

I've been watching this guy's videos. He's very good.

He got me to thinking, and I'm starting to think that I may not be an INFJ (but possibly an ENFP or INFP).

So, this is what I've gathered:

Fe vs. Fi -- Fi is, essentially, being OK with having different values than society or your social group, not having the need to "fit in" with other values. Fe, on the other hand, has the desire to have matching values with his/her social group, and almost asks "what's wrong with me?" if social values don't align.
Ruling: Fi
Proof:
Within my own family, I have VERY different values. I'm sort of a "black sheep" (black sheep-ness seems like an Fi term). But within my "black sheep"-ness, I'm very OK with being different and actually appreciate it because I disagree with the values of my family (rather socially conservative when I'm incredibly liberal and progressive). Also, when talking to friends, when their values don't align with mine, I tend to nod in agreement and placate them, pretending to agree with them (I'll engage in debate if I think they'll take it well and are a worthy opponent). But internally, I tell myself, "WOW this person is SO SO SO SO wrong."

Te vs. Ti -- Te has their own logic system within larger systems (i.e. "this is science logic," "this is mathematical logic," "this is philosophical logic") and what makes sense within one system may not, necessarily, make sense within another system. Ti, on the other hand, has its own internal algorithm that a piece of information has to pass through. Logic is absolute with Ti, while with Te it is relative.
Ruling: TOSS-UP (I don't know)
I find myself searching for truth and understanding that logic can be relative (is there a Universe that 2 + 2 does NOT equal 4? -- this makes me think Te), HOWEVER, I do think, in this physical world, there is absolute logic (2 + 2 = 4, period, always, no matter what we're talking about), but contradictions, within their nuances, can also be true (lending me to think Ti).

Se vs. Si -- Se tends to pluck a detail that is important to them within an experience and, essentially, "save it for later." Si, on the other hand, takes an entire experience has a whole and sort of attaches sentimentality to it that, later, they can go back to in a moment of nostalgia. Se is more like a snapshot or short videos (like a "give away the end" movie preview) while Si is more of an entire movie as a whole (rather than a reel of snapshots). Si tends to remember experiences better, Se sort of can summarize the experience based on important snapshots they have the experience. Si is more sentimental and past-oriented, Se is more "in the moment, for the moment."
Ruling: Se
Proof:
I don't take a whole lot of pictures for this exact reason. If I do take pictures, it is for my mother who wants to live the experience as I tell it to her (ISFP), but not really my dad who cannot attach his own sentiment to my experience (ISTJ). My best, most favorite experiences I could not tell you as a story, but rather I remember bits of the experience that I really enjoyed (ex. I had a 4 month trip to South Africa, I can tell you that I worked in a hospital and details about what I did, I can tell you about the safari and details about the safari, I can tell you about shark cage diving and details about that. But overall, as a story, I cannot share with you). Also, there is more nostalgia but less sentiment attached to my experiences. "God, what a good time," rather than "life was so good back then, I'd love to go back." Also, in present day life, sensory information is not met with sentiment. My ISTJ dad can be eating spinach and say, "WOW this reminds me of when I used to pick greens from the mountain with my mother in Greece <insert nostalgic story here.> I'm not like that AT ALL.

Ne vs. Ni -- Ne sort of maps out the external world, putting little bits of sensory information together to create something very inventive and often times exciting. They tend to branch out from external information in a non-linear way (i.e. they can be watching basketball, and after 10 minutes, talking about basketball turns into pickles. To them, it makes sense. To their interlocutors, not so much). They don't really need any motivation nor inspiration, they just create. Ni, on the other hand, has a bunch of personal inner puzzles within their minds that are always unfinished. They take in sensory information from the world, and it serves as a puzzle piece to one of their puzzles. Because of this, Ni-doms may be engaged in a mundane task and then, all of a sudden, they found something that inspires them to solve a problem that previously could not be solved. Ne is more creative, but Ni is more results-driven.
Ruling: I don't know -- I think I use both?

This is tricky. Upon reflecting, I realize that whenever I feel as if I have strong Ne, I tend to be with a friend who has strong Ne. Actually, just thinking about how an Ne-dom talks really brings out Ne in me. One of my good friends (ENTP) and I sit next to each other during NBA games (we are season ticket holders in our city). He'll start talking about a player, and then tangent after tangent after tangent, we're talking about strategic restaurant eating for players, and how we can catch the players at our favorite restaurants. This, however, may just be because strong, dominant functions can be very contagious.

Ni, on the other hand, is piecing information together in this subjective sort of framework in the mind. I quit my job at the end of November (teaching) and am looking for another teaching job. I found a job listing online, and have a friend that works at the school. I call her, and as soon as she picks up, I said, "wait....did you quit your job?" She was incredibly surprised that I knew. I remembered the small detail (that she rarely spoke about) about her being a 5th grade English teacher, saw the date (it was listed the day I called her), and pieced it together that she quit her job -- unconsciously in the matter of half a second. It seems as if small details come up very randomly -- details that I don't intentionally remember. Also, there is sort of interconnectedness of ideas that, at times, takes work for me to do, but sometimes, just talking about a topic I can put together a bunch of sources within my head and justify an argument well.

Thoughts?
I am thinking either INTJ, INFJ, or even ENFP (possibly INFP, but I don't see myself as an Fi-dom at all).
 

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Discussion Starter #2
BUMP Sorry for the long post. I know people are all discouraged to read. Perhaps check out my writing style and take a whack at it? People who have a good handle on cognitive functions only, please (in my last "what am I?" thread, have newbies taking wild guesses).
 

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I'll answer this later today, busy at the moment.
 

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ummmm, your understanding of the functions is pretty horrible.

Fe vs Fi. I don't think you describe either very well.

Se vs Si. I'm not good at those myself, so won't judge you.

Te vs Ti. You don't get Te. You are such a Ti user, and you are trying to take a bit of your Ti and make it Te.
Let's say you find a book, and it says if you mix red and white you get green. So, you mix the colors, and you get pink. WTF? Ti will say "that book is fucked." Te will say "the book is almost always right, I must have messed up."

Ne vs Ni. You do both. Ne is millions of ideas coming at you all the time. Your buddy at the bb game does Ne. I call that the Ne bounce. If you can bounce with him, and it does not give you a raging fucking headache, you are game for lots of Ne.

so. questions. two people are having marriage problems. You want to help them. Do you meet them individually, or meet them as a couple? Why?

>>>Also, when talking to friends, when their values don't align with mine, I tend to nod in agreement and placate them, pretending to agree with them

Why do you do this? Don't want to hurt their feelings? Don't want to hurt the friendship? don't want to piss them off? Why?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
ummmm, your understanding of the functions is pretty horrible.

Fe vs Fi. I don't think you describe either very well.

Se vs Si. I'm not good at those myself, so won't judge you.

Te vs Ti. You don't get Te. You are such a Ti user, and you are trying to take a bit of your Ti and make it Te.
Let's say you find a book, and it says if you mix red and white you get green. So, you mix the colors, and you get pink. WTF? Ti will say "that book is fucked." Te will say "the book is almost always right, I must have messed up."

Ne vs Ni. You do both. Ne is millions of ideas coming at you all the time. Your buddy at the bb game does Ne. I call that the Ne bounce. If you can bounce with him, and it does not give you a raging fucking headache, you are game for lots of Ne.

so. questions. two people are having marriage problems. You want to help them. Do you meet them individually, or meet them as a couple? Why?

>>>Also, when talking to friends, when their values don't align with mine, I tend to nod in agreement and placate them, pretending to agree with them

Why do you do this? Don't want to hurt their feelings? Don't want to hurt the friendship? don't want to piss them off? Why?
My understanding of cognitive functions is more than I showed here (used what dude from video said).

I would probably meet individually. I don't want to be a part of making anyone feel bad or, possibly, a fight. Also, I think the parties are more subjective when they are by thenselves, which is important (don't want the presence of the other party to influence what they say). Worth noting, I would avoid this kind of situation anyways. Would make me incredibly uncomfortable.

I'll placate friends for a couple of reasons. Sometimes, it's because I don't want to embarrass them because I would make them look bad in an argument, sometimes because I just think it's socially polite not to come across as a know it all, sometimes because I grow bored of the situation, and sometimes because they convinced me to agree with their argument.
 

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@drmiller100 okey, while his understanding of the functions aren't perfect nor enough, I wouldn't say they're way off.
@SharpestNiFe

Sure, you're explanation of Fi/Fe works to some extent, but it's not quite enough. Fe is about the group, or groups, harmony in them, agreement, etc. Fi is more specific, and focuses on specific relationships, rather than the whole group. Your explanation of why could mean that you prefer Fi, though it's not quite enough to make sure.

Te/Ti is way off though. Te logic is just as absolute. The difference between the two is rather that Ti is subjective and Te is objective. When it comes to Ti, it builds up an internal system of what makes sense, how logic is "supposed" to be. It uses one map of logic for everything, and connects every single situation to that map of logic. Te on the other hand doesn't have that internal map, but takes in what's logical from the external world. This makes Te a lot faster and broader, while Ti is more accurate and exact. A fault Te can make is to jump over steps for the result, and if something "seems" logical, it "is". Ti on the other hand, does not jump over steps, but intend to go through all the steps. Not only the steps needed to reach the goal, but all the steps they can possibly find. They also build up an internal map of logic, meaning that they might ignore things that doesn't correlate with their internal system, leading to a possibility of ignorance towards new information.

About Se and Si, it's again about external and internal, objective and subjective.
Se notices what's around them, objectively and in the moment. They see that a table is squared, 70 cm high and has four legs. Se also notices how much power that needs to be put in to a certain situation. It's objective and external.
Si on the other hand is internal and subjective. It helps me "know" how my body works, how what I'm physically capable of. When the air is thin, or dry, it helps me understand that this is the case. It also sees the table as something among the lines with "this is what the table can be used for, and what I want to use it for." It could be to put things on, hit someone with it, etc. It's subjective, relative to what I want to do with the table. How it's relevant for me.

Intuition is about what is not seen, compared to sensing, what can be seen. (Doesn't have to be "seen" as in with the eyes, but it's real.)
Ne is objectively what does not exist. (Often seen as the most subjective of the extroverted functions for this reason.)
There's opportunities, possibilities, reactions of everything in the external world.
Ni on the other hand is subjective. It reacts to what's subjective and in the internal world. Ni is concerned with time, how time relates to what you're doing. (Subjective, it compares to you.)
Your description of Ni could be both Si and Se, maybe even connected to one of the thinking function, but it's not Ni.
The description of Ne is rather Te (it's a bit short of information, but I think so.)
"God, what a good time," rather than "life was so good back then, I'd love to go back."
This does not have to indicate Se over Si. Make sure you're not biased towards Se when typing yourself.

About your type now.
There's not really enough information in your post to type you.

Could you rethink your type from what I wrote about the functions, write down what you agree with or don't agree with, and post that?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
@Pinina Well, Ti seems obvious to me, don't even know when the hell I would ever perceive objects with Si.

I would consider INTP, INTJ, INFJ, or ENFP.

Thanks for your help, but some of your descriptions seem a little off to me. Ne vs. Ni is fair, that's REALLY hard to define.

From what I've gathered over my 3 years studying cognitive functions, Se says "wow, this soup is so delicious. The chicken is so moist, the noodles are cooked perfectly, and it smells divine" while Si would say, "wow, this soup really brings me back to when I was a kid and on a cold winter's day, my grandma would make me soup just like this one." Both are sensory, but one is more subjective to one's own experiences while the other really objectively describes what is being perceived by the senses.

Fe vs. Fi -- Fi is kind of self-absorbed (not necessarily in a bad way). Even when talking to IxFPs on this site, it is very obvious. Fi speaks so definitively on a subject matter that is based very firmly in their own belief system -- almost as if they see their own belief system as the ONLY belief system and they're right, you'd be hard pressed to show them otherwise. Fi is more likely to fight and argue for what they believe in as right, regardless the situation (even if it's shooting the shit with friends, talking about politics). Fe, on the other hand, doesn't want to start tension or disagreement within the social group. They may nod and agree with you, but deep down, disagree wholeheartedly with what you say. My roommate is Fe-dom, and when I was terminated from my job, he was saying how the company is stupid, everything they did was wrong, so on and so forth. It's almost an "I will side with the people I love, and when they are wrong they are still right because I love them."

Ti vs. Te -- this you got down, obviously. Te is objective logic. No matter the arena, if x + y =z, you cannot manipulate it further. Ti can change logic based on the arena, but it fits the arena more correctly. (Note: I was going by what the above YouTuber said Ti vs. Te is. Perhaps he was very off on this one). I do consider myself a Ti user.

Ni vs. Ne -- Ne is like scaffolding. That's why they are so quick, so hilarious, and all the good TV shows with witty and well-written scripts tend to belong to ENTP writers. Sometimes, if Ne has a strong interest in something, they may even formulate sentences in conversation that to the interlocutors, sounds like complete nonsense, but to the Ne user may be the funniest, wittiest sentence they've ever mouthed. This is why my friend is REALLY good at coming up with crazy ideas that may actually improve something (in our case, the NBA game), but a LOT of Ne users get very excited about ideas and may start a LOT of projects but never end any (they are idea machines). That's why they tend to love language and manipulating language (they love puns). Ni, like I've said, works like a puzzle. Their is an internal puzzle within their minds that, when given certain points (puzzle pieces) they can put together in their heads and figure something out that isn't very obvious. It is often done unconsciously and unknowingly (like my telling my friend, "did you quit your job" on a whim because as soon as I heard her voice, it all made sense). I don't like the term "gut feeling" because some MBTI heads who think their iNtuitives and iNtuitives are the best ever constantly use the phrase when they are basing it off of nothing at all. "Gut feelings" are not something that an individual that is Ni-dom say "alright, so, gut, start working, what's going to happen next?" It just sort of happens unwillingly and unknowingly. Then, it is confirmed (my asking "were you fired?") and all is well. Ni-doms know everything.
 

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@Pinina Well, Ti seems obvious to me, don't even know when the hell I would ever perceive objects with Si.

I would consider INTP, INTJ, INFJ, or ENFP.

Thanks for your help, but some of your descriptions seem a little off to me. Ne vs. Ni is fair, that's REALLY hard to define.

From what I've gathered over my 3 years studying cognitive functions, Se says "wow, this soup is so delicious. The chicken is so moist, the noodles are cooked perfectly, and it smells divine" while Si would say, "wow, this soup really brings me back to when I was a kid and on a cold winter's day, my grandma would make me soup just like this one." Both are sensory, but one is more subjective to one's own experiences while the other really objectively describes what is being perceived by the senses.

Fe vs. Fi -- Fi is kind of self-absorbed (not necessarily in a bad way). Even when talking to IxFPs on this site, it is very obvious. Fi speaks so definitively on a subject matter that is based very firmly in their own belief system -- almost as if they see their own belief system as the ONLY belief system and they're right, you'd be hard pressed to show them otherwise. Fi is more likely to fight and argue for what they believe in as right, regardless the situation (even if it's shooting the shit with friends, talking about politics). Fe, on the other hand, doesn't want to start tension or disagreement within the social group. They may nod and agree with you, but deep down, disagree wholeheartedly with what you say. My roommate is Fe-dom, and when I was terminated from my job, he was saying how the company is stupid, everything they did was wrong, so on and so forth. It's almost an "I will side with the people I love, and when they are wrong they are still right because I love them."

Ti vs. Te -- this you got down, obviously. Te is objective logic. No matter the arena, if x + y =z, you cannot manipulate it further. Ti can change logic based on the arena, but it fits the arena more correctly. (Note: I was going by what the above YouTuber said Ti vs. Te is. Perhaps he was very off on this one). I do consider myself a Ti user.

Ni vs. Ne -- Ne is like scaffolding. That's why they are so quick, so hilarious, and all the good TV shows with witty and well-written scripts tend to belong to ENTP writers. Sometimes, if Ne has a strong interest in something, they may even formulate sentences in conversation that to the interlocutors, sounds like complete nonsense, but to the Ne user may be the funniest, wittiest sentence they've ever mouthed. This is why my friend is REALLY good at coming up with crazy ideas that may actually improve something (in our case, the NBA game), but a LOT of Ne users get very excited about ideas and may start a LOT of projects but never end any (they are idea machines). That's why they tend to love language and manipulating language (they love puns). Ni, like I've said, works like a puzzle. Their is an internal puzzle within their minds that, when given certain points (puzzle pieces) they can put together in their heads and figure something out that isn't very obvious. It is often done unconsciously and unknowingly (like my telling my friend, "did you quit your job" on a whim because as soon as I heard her voice, it all made sense). I don't like the term "gut feeling" because some MBTI heads who think their iNtuitives and iNtuitives are the best ever constantly use the phrase when they are basing it off of nothing at all. "Gut feelings" are not something that an individual that is Ni-dom say "alright, so, gut, start working, what's going to happen next?" It just sort of happens unwillingly and unknowingly. Then, it is confirmed (my asking "were you fired?") and all is well. Ni-doms know everything.
Yea, it sounds about right with Fe/Fi.
About Te/Ti, somewhat. However, x+y=z always being true, would rather be Ti, with their subjective map. Te would react to each situation, while Ti already has a "fixed" reaction.

Ne seems to be pretty spot on, however I don't agree with Ni being quite that. But I don't know Ni that well, so I'll just not debate you on that one.

The sensing functions is where I don't agree with you.
"wow, this soup is so delicious. The chicken is so moist, the noodles are cooked perfectly, and it smells divine"
This is a perfect example of Si. Delicious, refers to what you subjectively think. And if it smells divine, it's according to your subjective opinion - Si. Se would be a lot more objective than that. Se observes, and doesn't have an opinion on things in itself. The way you described Si is however a part of Si as well, though not as big as people generally think.
 

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My understanding of cognitive functions is more than I showed here (used what dude from video said).

I would probably meet individually. I don't want to be a part of making anyone feel bad or, possibly, a fight. Also, I think the parties are more subjective when they are by thenselves, which is important (don't want the presence of the other party to influence what they say). Worth noting, I would avoid this kind of situation anyways. Would make me incredibly uncomfortable.

I'll placate friends for a couple of reasons. Sometimes, it's because I don't want to embarrass them because I would make them look bad in an argument, sometimes because I just think it's socially polite not to come across as a know it all, sometimes because I grow bored of the situation, and sometimes because they convinced me to agree with their argument.

this is all incredibly Fi vs Fe. An Fe user is all worried about the RELATIONSHIP between people. The INFJ sees 3 entities in a marriage counseling session, The RELATIONSHIP, and oh yeah both people.
You aren't worried about your FRIENDSHIP, you are worried about their FEELINGS.

I suggest you are INFP, and your Fi is so native and deeply ingrained you don't even see it or feel it. Like your heartbeat, it just is there.
 

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Te/Ti is way off though. Te logic is just as absolute. The difference between the two is rather that Ti is subjective and Te is objective. When it comes to Ti, it builds up an internal system of what makes sense, how logic is "supposed" to be. It uses one map of logic for everything, and connects every single situation to that map of logic. Te on the other hand doesn't have that internal map, but takes in what's logical from the external world. This makes Te a lot faster and broader, while Ti is more accurate and exact. A fault Te can make is to jump over steps for the result, and if something "seems" logical, it "is". Ti on the other hand, does not jump over steps, but intend to go through all the steps. Not only the steps needed to reach the goal, but all the steps they can possibly find. They also build up an internal map of logic, meaning that they might ignore things that doesn't correlate with their internal system, leading to a possibility of ignorance towards new information.
Smiles........

I'd suggest Ti is objective and Te is subjective. There IS only one true base logic for Ti, and it is THE true logic.

Te is subjective depending on what the books and external references say. So, it changes depending on the subject at hand.....
 

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Smiles........

I'd suggest Ti is objective and Te is subjective. There IS only one true base logic for Ti, and it is THE true logic.

Te is subjective depending on what the books and external references say. So, it changes depending on the subject at hand.....
Hmm... Do you know how socionics works? The name for Te there is objective logic, and Ti is subjective logic.
Anyways, disregarding the name of the functions in socionics, they are introverted and extroverted. Introverted draws it's information from the inside, while extroverted functions from the outside.
If we look at the definition of objective:
not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased:
(Objective | Define Objective at Dictionary.com, 5)
That, to me, would be Te. As Ti has some kind of prejudice, and isn't unbiased in that sense. As it has it's own system of logic (this system doesn't have to be true in that sense).
As the system of logic in itself is subjective (as it's their own system, not an objective one), they can't be objective. Te on the other hand takes it's information from the external world, and uses the external map of logic. Which, being external, and not a subject to how you think it is, is more objective.

To some extent, Fe and Ne is objective as well, and Ti, Fi, Si and Ni are all subjective, being introverted functions and by that dependent on the persons subjective impressions.
 

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Well you made my answer easy... maybe this video didn't talk about it but functions come in pairs... in other words basically all Fi are also Te, all Fe are also Ti, all Se are also Ni, and all Ne are also Si. I agree with your self-analysis as an Fi. I'm not completely sure about your Se analysis nor have I heard that theory about Si vs Se before though it seems like there maybe some truth to it. The other possibility I'm contemplating is that you are a high N so you aren't like either Se or Si very much. But anyway lets assume you know you best and are an Se. Then that would make you Fi Se Ni Te or some combinations of these functions. Thats where the MBTI comes in.

Now for the personalities you mentioned INFJ is Fe so lets toss that... ENFP is Ne and Si and this fits that case of high N and low S I mentioned but I will toss in that light of your Se self-analysis (you can consider it on your own more). INFP is also Ne Si but in the middle so ENFP is more likely based on your S analysis (btw they are the most introverted extroverts so dont let the E dissuade you). That basically leaves INTJ as the only type you listed with the functions you self identified. I could do more analysis but I'll just stick with the info you gave in this post.
 

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Hmm... Do you know how socionics works? The name for Te there is objective logic, and Ti is subjective logic.
Anyways, disregarding the name of the functions in socionics, they are introverted and extroverted. Introverted draws it's information from the inside, while extroverted functions from the outside.
If we look at the definition of objective:

(Objective | Define Objective at Dictionary.com, 5)
That, to me, would be Te. As Ti has some kind of prejudice, and isn't unbiased in that sense. As it has it's own system of logic (this system doesn't have to be true in that sense).
As the system of logic in itself is subjective (as it's their own system, not an objective one), they can't be objective. Te on the other hand takes it's information from the external world, and uses the external map of logic. Which, being external, and not a subject to how you think it is, is more objective.

To some extent, Fe and Ne is objective as well, and Ti, Fi, Si and Ni are all subjective, being introverted functions and by that dependent on the persons subjective impressions.
You are wrong. You are not logical.

(smiles). If you really are ESTJ, we are never going to agree, and it is a waste of time for either of us to try. Almost no mutual basis of understanding, and I really don't care to spend the time to build one.

Best wishes!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Smiles........

I'd suggest Ti is objective and Te is subjective. There IS only one true base logic for Ti, and it is THE true logic.

Te is subjective depending on what the books and external references say. So, it changes depending on the subject at hand.....
I don't know about this....
 

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you are both right you're just arguing over that one thing that everyone argues over what is called it again ah semantics

Je is objective in the sense that it does not take into account its own feelings or thoughts when making logic/value judgments but rather is more concerned with the object, the external. the facts, ideas, and feelings outside of oneself. consensus decision-making. it IS however subject to change if the feelings and thoughts outside of oneself changes. when once common facts, ideas, and feelings change and are replaced with new facts, ideas, and feelings, Je users will readily accept said changes. so, in that sense, it is subjective. this is why Te is pragmatic and Fe, harmonious.

Ji is processed internally and is entirely self-focused, and thus it is subjective. a Ji user's personal take on a logical problem or set of values comes from within and they will not change their thoughts or feelings to accommodate the thoughts and feelings around them. however it is still true that there is only ONE true base logic for Ti, in the same way that there is only ONE true base set of values for Fi. in that sense, they are objective... because they are immovable, stubborn, headstrong. so where Je does not take personal opinions into account when making a decision or judgment, Ji does not take outside opinions into account.

tl;dr version
Je is objective because it relies on consensus decision-making and rarely its own thoughts/feelings
Je is subjective because its judgments are not fixed and are subject to change based on changes in its environment/outside of itself

Ji is subjective because its use of logic and set of values are personal and "self-made"; external info/input is not taken into consideration when creating these
Ji is objective because it is fixed and consistent and it judges all external stimuli based on one brand of logic/set of values

so it really just comes down to how you are using the words, like what meanings and connotations you are attaching to them. pinina is using the dictionary definition, ergo she is using it correctly (Te!!!), whereas drmiller100 seems to be using his own personal definition of it (Ti!!). i still get exactly what he means when he says "subjective" and "objective" though. that just isn't how most people use them, is all.

 


 

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this is all incredibly Fi vs Fe. An Fe user is all worried about the RELATIONSHIP between people. The INFJ sees 3 entities in a marriage counseling session, The RELATIONSHIP, and oh yeah both people.
You aren't worried about your FRIENDSHIP, you are worried about their FEELINGS.

I suggest you are INFP, and your Fi is so native and deeply ingrained you don't even see it or feel it. Like your heartbeat, it just is there.
And, for what it's worth, my relationship has been going down the drain. I actually used that exact language with my girlfriend (3 entities: you, me, the relationship. You care about yourself and not me nor the relationship. Today I am here to tell you what I want, and what WE need to do to make sure this relationship works).
 
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