[lastofsix]

So, I just recently moved into my own place, all by myself, no boyfriend/girlfriend..for the first time in my life. I did the great "Striking out on my own" because I really didn't feel like I knew or understood myself very well.

What is interesting is that I am noticing things about myself that are not very ENFJ. I am thinking I may be an INFJ...or an INTJ...ugh..


The Facts:

I really do not like large group atmospheres. Crowded streets make me grumpy. I decline going to the bars, shows, or concerts. I can introduce myself and ask questions but it is not so much a " You are part of humanity and I love you" as it is "I want to understand you so I know what to expect"

I prefer to spend time with people who I know really well. I have been trying to "date" and the whole thing makes me really uncomfortable. I can't help thinking "Stranger danger!" I feel vulnerable I get quiet and ask a lot of questions. I analyze everything they do, how they posture, what questions they answer, what they are willing to say and what they refuse to say...and then what my "GUT" tells me. My gut has gotten much louder since I have had time alone.

I am often chided (by those closest to me) for being "Harsh" "Direct" "Brutal" and "Painfully honest" This always confuses me because I mean it with the greatest of respect and most honorable of intentions. I just don't want to waste my time or theirs.

I recently had a moment at a friends house where I said, " I am a simple person" This resulted in laughter and comments that I am one of the most complex people they know. This boggled me. I am open, but I wait for people to ask me questions.

I am more than willing to understand people and support them in their troubles. BUT IT PAINS ME not to tell them what their options are and the consequesnces of said options.

I was kissed by someone I only met once recently...I went into a panic, tumbled out the car door and ran...I realized then that I really do not like to be touched by people I a) do not know well b) Dont have an emotional connection to or c) have not told me or affirmed to be in some verbal way what their intentions with me are.

I am horrible with B-days, and I HATE gifting. I am much more of a touch and acts of service person.

My ennagram keeps coming up 1 or 8 on other tests.

I am intense and obnoxious but this is because I like to tell people what to do, or I get really playful in a rough sort of way. (people like to joke that I am going to "Discipline them")

Now, I understand that this very well could be me expressing my shadow self under environmental and new relationship pressure..but the weird thing is ...I feel more centered. I feel happier. The more I am really focusing, analyzing, and following my powerful surges of intuition...i feel calmer. More capable.

Does any of this make sense? Sorry if this is redundant..but your feed back would be much appreciated.

p.s. I took the M&B short tests again while I was really relaxed I came out INFJ but the f was 55% and the t was 45%.



Thank You
LastofSix

 

[Donovan]

yeah, you're going through a change lastofsix. your whole environment has changed, so it makes sense that you'd go through a "phase" in reaction to what's going on.

i'd just keep an open mind, and not try to force anything.

sounds interesting though , enjoy.

 

[Oleas]

I can identify with a lot of the things you wrote in that list, I think it's normal... you're probably not in a perfect place at the moment, or aren't a perfectly healthy/fully matured ENFJ (no judging there).

I went out last night, was invited at a party where I only knew the host and another guy and I felt really awkward... went better as the night went by but I felt forced to try and socialize. Instead I sat back and observed, looked at people, their reactions, tried to find out what personality types they were. Definitely an INFJ, an ENFP, an ISFP and an INTP (all of whom I didn't know). I tried to go into deeper conversations with them (I know, shouldnt have tried, but it was more of a cozy party with lots of friends hanging out than a dancing one..) but I felt like they were all waiting for their turn to talk and not really listening to me. So I shut up. Went into introverted mode. I need to feel secure when I'm out of my "comfort zone"...

Ooops I went totally off topic. Sorry. Anyways, I think you're fine. You might wanna look into cognitive functions to be sure you use Fe Ni Se and Ti in that order. : )

 

[lastofsix]

I will definitely do that! Thank you for the advice...

 

[Jojo]

I don't like crowds at all! But I love people.

I think I have gone through almost every example except the kissing one. It is probablythe shadow part coming out but, more importantly healing and the ENFJ part taking that self-examination of our lives that we usually do. We question ourselves more than any type I think because we care about people and mistakes. That's normal.

We may do things once in a while out of type but that is who we are too because we are chameleon=like and adapt with our surroundings.

"stranger Danger" made think of that kid in "Role Models".
Then I saw this video..
YouTube - Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!