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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi all!

I have a very traditional problem: who am I? More specificly, which MBTI -type am I?

I've done several different tests but I'm not going to mention results yet so it won't have an influence on your opinions. Just trying to keep it all as objective as possible. For the record, I've studied MBTI and the Cognitive Functions since April. I've also looked into Big Five and Enneagram.

I can also say that I'm always falling somewhere in-between all of these spectrums: E/I, S/N, and J/P
I've always been, and always wanted to be a jack-of-all-trades; to know a little of everything but be master of none. Even so I seek closure in most things, like right now in typing myself.

Basic info:

Male
25 y/o
Stutent, employed as a guard/mall cop outside school
Hobbies are introspection, video-games (mainly online with friends), gymming and excercising, playing guitar and singing

Here's what I've been told about myself by others:

-That I'm very open.

-That I'm an extrovert, mainly due to my social skills and opinionated attitude on how to DO things. Not about morality, like what's right and wrong. Just to be clear.

-I've also been called an introvert, based on my desire to be alone.

-That I'm calculating and quite cold. Not excessively, but enough so that it's hard to describe me as a feeler.

-That I treat people like objects and am not truly empathetic deep down.

-Mum always said that I'm lazy and inefficient (Don't everyone's, haha)

-That I have a calming aura. That I make others feel calm and safe (Told by females).

-That I'm diplomatic and pleasing

-That I'm self-imposed and take initiative (at work)

-That I strive to make sense of everything

-That I keep promises

-That I challenge myself and seek challenges and near-impossible life situations

-That I'm quirky/weird. Listen to weird music and have unconventional hobbies. But they also said it's a good thing.

-That I'm charismatic

-That I'm a builder, meaning I don't tear anything down intentionally, and if I do by mistake, I correct it

-That I'm tranquil and level-headed but then I can suddenly become dramatic if I so happen to feel

-That I'm smart

-That I'm talented (goes to both athletics and creative things)

Here's what I can tell you about myself:

-I AM open. But only a rare few get truly close.

-I'm calm, confident.

-I feel like being alone when tired. I crave for company when energized (especially if there's a new idea, theory or subject I want to discuss with others)

-I usually don't care what others think of me, and might even play dumb/pretend something else by asking questions just to get what I want (usually information, mostly about that person's way of thinking etc. I like to "size up" people). I'm insincere in that aspect.

-I'm poorly attuned to my own feelings and desires. And it's difficult for me to talk about them.

-I don't have a keen sense of right and wrong, but try to use logic to individually assess every situation. This makes me sometimes feel adrift about my conscience.

-I value intelligence, but also the aestethic things in life. Mainly the former.

-I seek the truth. Like now, I'm obsessed with getting to know myself. I want to dig deeper and deeper.

-I want to grow and develop, and I want that for others, too. I want to go forward more than anything.

-I love to teach, guide and lead. I've been told I'm a good performer.

-I plan ahead (mostly in short-term). Not necessarily tasks or goals, but rather I take into account possible scenarios and consequences of a specific occurance.

-Referring to previous point, I'm not easily taken by surprise.

-I'm an optimist. I see something good in everything, even seemingly bad things.

-I'm open-minded.

-I don't have tangible goals, such as landing a certain job in a certain branch. I discover as I go.

-I'm adventorous. I want to experience and gain knowledge and skills as much as I can. But with puropse.

-I'm quite introspective and right now I'm even self-centered, but still care for the well-being of others. Especially those close to me.

-I'm interested in developing my social and human skills. I want to be wise.

-I have ambition. And I know I'm going to be great at whatever I put my mind to. I will reach my goals (I just don't know where I'm going, so there's that).

-I take action.

-I get along with everybody.

-I read people well, but am not into social games. I prefer others to speak their mind and not beat around the bush.

-I love a challenge.

-I do things my way, and either completely screw up or win

-I'm adaptable.

-I have a shit memory, except for some random singular moments.

-I'm not very interested in "shallow" things like small-talk, watching TV, material property, etc. except when low on energy.

-When in company I converse in interests and usually abstarct matters, such as people and psychology, ways of life, attitudes, etc. depending on the company. Some times more "real" things like economy, phenomena, politics, recent events... And I have to say even gossip is sometimes a nice new change for deeper discussions.

-When alone, I study or work on something (excluselively MBTI lately), play video-games, express myself through music

-I take initative when working in groups

-I need a sense of purpose in everything I do. Otherwise I'll be frustrated.

-Speaking of which, I can't rest until I've finished a task/challenge/problem

-I want to have all available information to a subject, filter it by relevance, and come up with a solution. Like now I'm providing you with a ton of either useless or useful data to cover as much ground as possible.

Alright, that about covers it. Just some things I've been told and a bunch of random things I think about myself. My greatest weakness is probably not knowing who I am and/or not accepting who I am or what I feel or that I lack feeling, always looking for the epiphany of coming into terms with myself. I feel like I can't move on with life until I have this "task" of finding myself finished.

Might be due to my father being an alcoholic most part of my life (up 'till I was in my 20's) and so I've always looked up on male rolemodels, both real and fictional, trying to relate to them. I still compare myself to strong male characters and wish to be like them, am influenced by them. I tend to be subjective to outside opinions, so if you're gonna tell me I'm type XXXX, I'll be examining it, partly accepting it, then doubting it, and the then we're back to square one. So I got that little sense of insecurity.

Any opinions are warmly welcome!

Now that you've read it all, my results have been INTP, INTJ, ENTP, ENTJ, INFJ, ENFP, ESTP, ESTJ

Will happily answer any questions!

Sorry for the long post!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
And to answer a questionnare:

1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.

I'm currently working at very irregular shifts. Morning, evening, 7 - 15h a day. With random holidays here and there. It's screwing me up a bit.

2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?

farm9.staticflickr.com/8287/7704380682_4da6df716d.jpg

farm7.staticflickr.com/6005/6004664548_32c083ea9f_m.jpg

I prefer the former. I want to go there. It's beautiful, looks like adventure. I want to fly and see the landscape. I feel like being immortal and unaffected by time and space. I want to watch the stars, breathe the cool air. It's so vast and magnificient, and I want to be a part of it.

3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?

Hi!

My name is K.

I'm someone who you'll get to know fast. I'm open and curious about other people, and I will want to know everything about you, and let you know everything about me. If we click, we'll sure be having fun together discussing philosophies and passions and exchanging ideas. When talking is done, we'll also do reckless things like partying hard, climbing ontop of roofs, maybe even getting in trouble just for the thrill. Just to wake up somewhere with a terrible hangover and calling last night fantastic. I seek for a deeper connection in people, intellectually and emotionally.

I wish from you an adventorous character with creativity, endless ideas and enthusiasm to execute them. Let's talk, let's do stupid things, and let's make the world a better place.

4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?

I want to be someone who matters, who makes a dent in this world, and lives forever through their legacy. I want to have followers and enemies. I want to be a charismatic leader, and to teach people wisdom. It's always been my dream to live forever, see through time and travel to far away worlds. But since it's impossible, I want to live forever in memories, in ideas and through my offspring. I want to leave something behind.

I don't want to be insignificant. I don't want to leave without leaving my mark, without great work. I don't want to feel useless, because we're all here to develop and go futher and to contribute to that cause. There's two ways humanity can go, and I want to be part of those who steer it in the right direction.

5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?

I have no idea how ohters would describe me. The things said directly to me I can confirm and admit, but I have no idea what people actually think or speak behind my back, and I don't really think about it that often. It would sure be nice to know, maybe I'll ask some. But yes, I do think other percieve me differently than I do, especially since I don't talk about my desires, like the ones i talked about in the previous question, much, if at all. Everyone has a lot more shallow image of me.

6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.

Global:
-Efficiency and progress
-Autonomy
-Justice
-Harmony
-Nature and the environment
-Diversity
Personal:
-Growth
-Independence and freedom
-Wisdom
-Activity
-Happiness

I want to grow, to grow others. I want freedom for myself to do and say as much as I please, without disturbing harmony, and I wish it for others as well. I wish justice to be excercised with wisdom. I wish no actively and efficiently protect those close to me, both human and nature. And I believe diversity is the key to progress, to evolution and happiness.



7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?

I don't feel like I face many new situations these days, since I tend to have planned everything I do, or have experience in them already. In unforseen events, I wrest to take control of the environment, actively or passively, whichever suits that situation best.

An instance was when I was 11 or 12, and we were driving home from a get together with my parents, my mother being very intoxicated on the passenger seat. She suddenly hit my father, who was driving. My father, furious, stopped the car and got out, walked to the passenger side and threw my mother out of the vehicle. I interefered by asking my father to step aside and consoled my mother, who was terrified of the assault on her. I told my father to call the police, but no units were available at the area at that time. I talked my mother to get in the backseat of the car, sitting on the passenger seat myself. I talked and reassured my mother the rest of remaining way home, keeping her calm.

I have experienced similar situations multiple times in my youth, and adult life as well, and handled them the same way. By talking.

8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

As a silly contrast to the former answer, I get stressed out if there's a formal group discussion like a meeting, where I have something to say, and am waiting for my turn to speak. I can feel my pulse increase and hands sweat. I usually get a sensation of relaxation when I start speaking, but I feel I can't convey my message properly and can't make the impression I desired to. Sometimes if I'm really nervous, whatever the situation, my legs might wobble a little, it's really irritating. This happened during a public speech, for instance. Sometimes, not when I speak but when I'm spoken (or yelled) at, I might freeze a bit. Today I'm quite hardened for almost any situation, and keep calm really well.

I'm not sure if I'm in stress right now, but if I am, then one symptom is obsession. I've been obsessed with this, knowing myself, for some time now. And I can't stop. I fear I will remain like this forever.

9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

I relax, focus on the good feeling, and/or display my enthusiasm if I'm with company. I feel happy, and am completely immersed in the present. I think positively of everyting and get energized.

10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?

One-on-one interaction is simple, since I only have to focus on one person. I like to watch and read the person I'm with. I feel a deeper connection and the relationship to be personal. Personal socialization can be extremely satisfactory when there are no roles in play, and the other person click with me. If not, the interaction stays very shallow, and is not rewarding.

In a group, I usually interact with the whole group or with another individual, depending on the setting. I notice each member has a role, and try to identify or assert mine. In a work setting, I try to get the whole group to communicate in unity. In a recreational setting, I usually watch the group or interact with other members. I want to know a groups goal, so I can contribute to it.

11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?

Even if I value independency and "knowing how to do best", I realize society is needed since working together provides the best results. The society I live in has it's good sides and flaws, but I am currently content with it. Socialism is important to some degree; to make sure everyone not only survives but thrives. Capitalism is important in another degree; to give credit to them who are due. People are diverse, with different skills and knowledge, both innate and gained, and that diversity is to be harnessed, while taking into account individual needs. If the needs of the individual and the organization don't meet, measurements are required to align those needs, or common ground to be found. Personally, I like people, some more than others. All of them are valuable and have assets, liked it or not, but not all of them are pleasant (for me) to be around.

12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?

Authority is something to be earned. I don't like traditional authority, like respecting your elders even if they're being assholes. I think authority can be gained through respect and validation, but not necessarily with a label. Not everyone deserves the respect their role implies. Not everyone gets the respect they deserve. It means responsibility, the ability to influence and affect others, and is thus to be used with wisdom. I respect genuine authority. I also respect given authority, as long as it's valid. Authority, being subjective, has to have structure, such as labels, predefinitions and standards, and those who reach those standards are to be respected by default, for they have (presumambly) earned that authority. These standards and statuses are so that each and everyone can identify authority objectively. There are of course people with authorative status without meeting the needs, and those cases should be handeled individually.

13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?

"Chaos ish a laddah"

No but seriously, chaos can give birth to order, and vice versa. Sometimes chaos is needed for creation, like the Big Bang. Or think Einstein and his chaoticish mind. Chaos is also a sort of diversity. If everything would be in order, and everything would be the same, how would we proceed? It's a little far-fetched maybe, hard to put to words.

Order is to prevent chaos from expanding beoyond control. If that makes any sense. It's even to create small, creative chaos. Such as in science and biology.

Order is to control, chaos is to disrupt control. Sometimes one of them is a better fit than the other. Chaos can be invigorating, exciting. Risk is chaos. Chaos is risk. If everything was controlled, how do we reach our goals? If creativity was a crime, what would we enjoy? Math? Well, some, yeah maybe, now that I think of it...

I could go on and on rambling about this.

For me, chaos is the unexpected, yet controllable events and occurances. Challenges (chaos) I will conquer (order). One learns from chaos, the unexpected, the unfamiliar. And uses that to create order, internally or externally. I'm not chaotic, nor orderly. I'm both. I have order as in I have standards and expectations, both to meet myself and to expect, but I also have chaos where I allow it to be. This way, I actually only have order, since even the chaos is controlled (like a messy sink. I know it's messy and that I can clean it anytime I want, so I'm in control and have order). Other people are chaos. I can't control them. And that's fine, since if I could, I wouldn't have to adapt and learn and develop.

14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?

I fear myself. I think. As you probably have noticed, I have a tendency to lust for ultimate control. I fear I will use my abilities wrongly. Not just power, but any ability. My worst nigthtmares have been about me hurting someone else. I have hurt others without meaning to do so, and those have been the times I've been most regretful. I fear I might not be able to repair the damage I might cause. I fear I will be too late, or I will cross a line.

I also fear disappointment. Not only in myself, but others. I fear I missplace my trust or expectations.

This manifests so that I am hesitant to let others trust me, or me to fully trust others. It takes time. A lot of time.

15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?

I don't know. That's the problem. Something great. But what is this "great"? I want to make a dent. I desire to write a book. I desire to build something that lasts beyond me. We're all just parts in a greated whole, and I desire to be a significant part. Like the ball in a ballpen. So that through me, great things can be created (written, in this metaphor). I don't want to be the hook that holds the pen in a shirt pocket. While it's nice and all, I don't value it that much.

I have no idea where they come from. I've always been interested in progress and efficiency, and thus, history and sciences. Maybe something from my childhood. My mother is a renowned person in her line of business. My father too. I want to be at least as significant. To be the best in something. In a positive way.

16. a) What activities energize you most? b)
Learning, having epiphanies. Helping. I have these random energetic moments whichs sources I can't always identify. I just have them. Being productive, being proud of myself, learning, providing aid and insight to others. That's when I get excited. Conquering challenges gets me really worked up. Be it mental or physical.

What activities drain you most? Why?
Right now, I feel quite drained. I haven't eaten or drunk in a couple of hours, I've just written these answers. I guess too much work drains me. Especially insignificant work. I'm saying insignificant, since there's no guarantee anyone will ever read this, for instance. Failure drains me alot.

Sometimes, the company of certain people drain me. People who's company I have to adapt to, us being so different.

17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.

I want to recognice myself, to be able to assess my strengths and weaknessess and to work them. I fear my desires don't match with my competence, and I want to know my competence to work it towards said desires. I want to know who I am and who I'm going to be, or at least have some direction. To feel like I mean.

I think I might be an ESTP or INTP. ESTP was typed by someone else on a similar forum, INTP I got the first time I took an MBTI test, and I felt like I associated with it at first, but then looked for other options, biased by INTP stereotypes. I also don't trust random strangers in the internet to be able to validly assess me based on some text I wrote.

I would like to be an ENTJ. They are leaders as well as intelligent intuitives, which appeals to me. I also have a naivé stereotypical thinking that categorizing my self as one, I will suddenly feel better about myself. I see that I quickly associate with the type I or someone else has convinced myself to be, and so that believeing I'm an ENTJ would probably make me act like one. I don't like self-deception, however, which is why I can't settle by that. ENTJ does have the functions I think I have, but so do other types as well, like INFJ for instance. I got interested in ENTJ when I read they have problems with self-identification due to their inferior Fi.
Enneagram (with two separate tests) 8w7

I've tested as all the XNTX as well as some individual times XXFX and lately I've been testing as ESTJ.


18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?

I think it's all there in the initial post.
 
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