Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,168 Posts
Definitely. I was just saying last night how I wish humanity would just go away, because I am sick of all of us. I've been replaying my favorite daydream lately, the one in which all of humanity is somehow wiped out, except for me. Like the Twilight Zone episode, Time Enough at Last, when the main character finds out how much better life is without all those annoying people bothering him all the time.

(I'm pretty sure that wasn't the show's intended message, but it is what I walked away with.)
(And you definitely should watch it, if you never have.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,166 Posts
Do you guys ever waffle between trying to be a good sociable person at times and also practically giving up on humanity altogether on other days? I’m having one of those days where moving to Siberia seems like it would be nice.
Keyword: trying

That's why it's not sustainable beyond a certain duration. Effort is draining. You gots to take a break from it which, for me (and perhaps like you), can mean slingshotting all the way to the other end of the spectrum haha

Though, I mostly stopped trying. Only when necessary. It doesn't usually benefit me enough to endure what is required of those situations i.e. dealing with social situations tends to cause me more stress than it's usually worth.
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,039 Posts
I waffled until I found a balance between "too much" and "not enough". I still have some problems with natural withdrawn-ness, but when I notice I do, I take the initiative and join a group (like a yoga group, book reading group, or knitting group) or I just go out and interact with the community through volunteer work. Of course I also have my few IRL friends to call upon if I really need friendship-oriented socialization, too.

But yes, I have been on both ends of the spectrum - being overly withdrawn and being too social.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,378 Posts
What I hate about humanity is its inhumanity.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jamaix

·
Heretic
ESI 9w8 5w4 2w1
Joined
·
10,672 Posts
I spend more or less between 70-80% of my waking time alone I guess.
That is an okay balance right now.
It hasn't always been like that, and it probably will not always be like that either.
 
  • Like
Reactions: vulpine

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,771 Posts
For sure, but my thinking tends to be on the misanthropic side anyway, so becoming a well-read hermit is always in the back of my mind.

There are other times when I withdraw after being hurt. I guess there's an instinctive inclination to pull back in order to process the issue(s). Afterward is when I think 'ok, let's be normal,' which is the go-ahead to begin sharing myself with others again.

^My best friend understands this process but so many others don't. From their POV, pain [or whatever] should be shared in order to process, but I'd feel like a shitty person for dumping my emotional load on others or even attempting to be a productive person when I know I'm off kilter. I'd rather handle my shit and come back healthier and angst-free.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
623 Posts
Humanity deserves itself. I have been coping well not socialising with anyone other than my family lately, but life starts to feel meaningless and repetitive again. Guess its time to open up again for the sake of it, add some value back to life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,623 Posts
Sure. I struggled with it more when I was younger, but once I gave myself permission to prioritize alone time, I was much better able to cope when I did have to be more social. I also learned to take time for myself ahead of needing to be social, and that's helped a lot too.
 

·
Delphic Seer
Joined
·
18,076 Posts
In my case, that “period” has become a permanent reality. When I was younger, I was far more enthusiastic and relatively outgoing and friendly (for NT standards anyway). As my anthropological pessimism has become heavier and heavier (or maybe I’ve just become wiser thanks to both knowledge and experience) throughout the years, now I’m reluctant to interact with others in interpersonal contexts beyond what’s necessary.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Insider77

·
Heretic
ESI 9w8 5w4 2w1
Joined
·
10,672 Posts
Thinking more on this, learning typology has taught me to open up more.
As I know what types deserve the cold shoulder and what types I can open up to relatively safe.
Nothing is of course perfect and I can get enough of everything.
But, knowing where not to go, does help immensely on my energy levels.
In my early life I banged my head on walls I couldn't see over and over.
In many situations I had a sort of learned helplessness,
nothing seemed to be working, so I stopped trying.
I'm slowly recapturing those situations, but still find them challenging with what I know today.
At least I have some wiggleroom now.
I understand that my ISFJ mother will always be out of reach of my "reason".
My ISTP father will never praise my Te endeavours and plans.
ENFJ sister will plot to but me in compromising emotional situations.
ESFJ aunt will keep up her drama.
etc etc
But at least now, I know that is what is going on.
I can adapt, go into the storm with an attitude of being prepared.
I can find solutions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dare and ponpiri

·
SPOON!
Joined
·
119 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I was quite outgoing as a child. Then, in my late teens and early twenties, I shut off from everyone. Now, I try to socialize again. The struggle that I find myself encountering these days is that I find so many people are shallow and without depth. I’m in a crisis internally because so many of my close friends and family have let me down. I genuinely love people but I no longer trust many of them. They just seem to take the easy way out in most situations. I feel like one of the last people in my inner circle to cling to my integrity. I love my wife dearly but I simply can’t understand her emotional outbursts and behaviors based on them. I feel like I’m a very stable and secure person but a lot of the people around me aren’t. That’s what leads me away from them and back to myself. I know that I can always rely on myself to do the right thing. That’s both sad and good at the same time. I need these humans around me, but I can’t trust any of them to be rational. I can only trust myself. My Dad used to say that I was a rock, an island to myself, and that is where I’m back to once again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,053 Posts
I can relate to this.

Between some of my peers getting ahead of me in the career rink, seeing my own prospects wither, and watching a bunch of morons on the international stage, there is a temptation to just vanish from the rest of the world.

One of the things that's stopping me from that is my love for my parents since I would like to take care of them till their dying day. Another is my precious dogs...who I love more than some humans.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
123 Posts
I've been in that antisocial period for years. For another purpose of course but that doesn't matter. Although, now that I've got what I was after for years, people now seem like monkeys whom I have to tolerate and accommodate in order to get what I want. And I've gotten better at that and not getting hurt or angry at them by seeing them as I do. I like how wide eyed they get when I'm direct as fuck or anticipatory even in trivial day to day situations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,420 Posts
The struggle that I find myself encountering these days is that I find so many people are shallow and without depth.
i find that that's very dependent on whatever i want out of them my own self. if i'm fighting with major dragons, then sure all the people who aren't dragon-infested are going to look shallow to me. i don't have time for their 'silly' preoccupations and they don't have scope to fully relate to whatever i'm dealing with. even among fellow warriors, i might not have the same dragons or the same approach to dragon-fighting as someone else has.

so i think it's natural for gaps to open up, but i don't like falling into the chasm of all-humans-suck for the rest of my life. i do self-insulate if i think that it's necessary, but i try to just do it in a for-the-duration kind of spirit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
614 Posts
I also had this antisocial phase in my life. But then I thought that a lot of times I have to rely on people for things like food and transportation. Since humans make consumer products, and all of the modern conveniences, I wondered if it was possible to get away from civilization altogether. During that time, I thought maybe I could buy alloidial title land in Nevada and have a house running on an off grid electrical system with DC power, septic, well water for irrigation and an organic farm for food.
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top