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So, for a long time I didn't know why I had trouble being in relationships. I simply found myself unable to stay with a guy after a certain point. I always came up with good reasons, but I understand now that I was making up rationalizations just to have a reason. When I went on birth control (the pill) for a while, my issue was brought out very clearly to me. I have an issue with anxiety. On the bc, I had anxiety about pretty much anything you can worry about. I got off of it for that reason. I went through therapy for a little while and that helped me immensely. My therapist and I found that most of my anxiety happens when I'm facing something in the moment, such as when I have to ride my bike home at night through a scary neighborhood or have a sensitive argument with someone. After getting off the bc though, I found my mood returned to normal very quickly, and I have had a happy life since. My anxiety never showed its face again... until today.

There's this guy at work.. I like him as a friend, and would entertain the idea of dating him if I got to know him better. If you follow me in threads at all, I'm sure you see the pattern. I have a lot of "crushes," haha. :tongue: Anyways, this guy's pretty friendly, so I talk to him plenty. Then yesterday we were talking and he mentioned a concert. Not even a direct invite! He just mentioned it to me, saying how it was all ages and I could go (I'm not 21 yet D:). All of a sudden I started to think he liked me. If I tried to tell you why I thought so, I'd probably end up making something up... I don't know why, but I was suddenly very sure he was interested in me.

I felt a little nervous then. It was even worse the next day (today). He came into work just to pick something up, and my hands were shaking and my stomach felt bad. I got clammy. The whole anxious bit. Not even close to a panic attack, and easy enough to hide, but it was noticeable to me.

Just the other day, when I was imagining the idea of him making a move on me, I was fine. Looking forward to this possibility, even. When I think about it, no matter how much I visualize being in my future shoes or making it seem real in my mind, it doesn't make me nervous. But when he's actually there and the possibility becomes real, I just about have a heart attack. It's not even just being nervous. It's probably easier for me to give a speech than be approached romantically by a guy... and it sucks! Because I want to have relationships, but I get so anxious I can't even function. Sometimes I even worry if I'm going to pass out, because I get sort of light-headed from my heart beating too hard or something. That only adds to the anxiety - can you imagine actually fainting like women used to in old movies when approached by a handsome man? Well, I'd be the first of my generation to do it. :blushed:

So I need advice. It's not that I don't like the guy or that I'm worried he might hurt me. He's totally nice and respectful. Probably one of the nicest people ever, in fact. I'm tired of being alone. How do I deal with this anxiety? Will it go away if I just force myself to stay in a relationship for once?
 

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This sounds very Limerence-y. You created scenarios in your head from a rather harmless and neutral mention of a concert. Which, by your own admittance, was not a direct invite. From an outside perspective it sounds like a guy that works with you was making conversation. Obviously, I wasn't there and can't identify little nuances of body language or actual touching, but it sounds entirely innocent to me.

As for the anxiety when he's around, that comes with Limerence. It tends to fade as you accept that you're reading more into things than is actually there. And, really, knowing that you're tired of being alone makes me think that its entirely possible that you're being hypervigilant. Looking for any potential signs of interest, and unfortunately, letting your imagination have a field day when you see anything.

Step back from it. Breath. Give yourself a break from looking, and the anxiety should ease up.
 
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