Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 51 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I don't know if anyone else gets what i mean by this, but i feel like i carn't enjoy just the simple things anymore.I'm constantly trying to pursue my music career, which involves producing Electronic Dance Music, and that is constantly in my head, ideas etc. I feel like i've lost how it feels to be in the now, always worrying, on edge, about future events, or, i should be doing this, doing that, or my life is doomed. My mind races with this thoughts all the time, and like i said, i don't really feel like I'm 'here' in my mind, like I'm disconnected from feeling how i should right now in this world

Like right now, i have a book i wanna read, id love to just get it out now and start reading, but i find it hard to relax and get into it, and it just doesn't feel right, like i should be doing something productive, or that ive forgotten something that needs doing

Anyone else have this?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
960 Posts
I recently experienced such intense anxiety I couldn't speak to people without feeling like I would die. I couldn't get it together to get my son's lunch packed in the morning and often got him to school late. I was leaving work early regularly because I couldn't handle it. (Thankfully I have an extremely understanding employer.)

I've always kind of been "anti-medication," but my mind was changed to an extent. I took medication for a little while and it zapped the anxiety.

But it wasn't enough. In my case, there were underlying emotional things happening in my life that needed to be resolved as well.

I'm doing MUCH BETTER now. But I totally hear you. In the grip of it, it can seem like there's no way you'll ever feel better.

If you want to talk anything out, please PM me. I'll happily listen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
I recently experienced such intense anxiety I couldn't speak to people without feeling like I would die. I couldn't get it together to get my son's lunch packed in the morning and often got him to school late. I was leaving work early regularly because I couldn't handle it. (Thankfully I have an extremely understanding employer.)

I've always kind of been "anti-medication," but my mind was changed to an extent. I took medication for a little while and it zapped the anxiety.

But it wasn't enough. In my case, there were underlying emotional things happening in my life that needed to be resolved as well.

I'm doing MUCH BETTER now. But I totally hear you. In the grip of it, it can seem like there's no way you'll ever feel better.

If you want to talk anything out, please PM me. I'll happily listen.

Thanks.I dont know, ive been thinking today, maybe i have a unhealthy obsession thing going on with trying to become a producer and making my own music.Like i said, im always thinking about it, ideas etc, im thinking about it everyday.Maybe i need to put my computer away for set days and do other things
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
554 Posts
@Targus28

Your story is so sad. Why are you anxious? Do you have confidence in your abilities. Begin from there. Is this where you really want to be? Don't compare yourself to others. You are who you are, you are the only person that can be you. If you're not accepting of whoever you are, improve.

Look up self-regulatory activities. You should try breathing. As New-agey as it sounds, its scientifically proven to be beneficial.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
@Targus28

Your story is so sad. Why are you anxious? Do you have confidence in your abilities. Begin from there. Is this where you really want to be? Don't compare yourself to others. You are who you are, you are the only person that can be you. If you're not accepting of whoever you are, improve.

Look up self-regulatory activities. You should try breathing. As New-agey as it sounds, its scientifically proven to be beneficial.
IM anxious because im scared i wont get anywhere with my music production and that ill be 35 and give up on it and looking back thinking "i should of worked harder"

I badly want to become a success with it too, its something that i love doing, and i love DJing out to, my dream is to be playing out my own music.I feel like if i just sit and read a book, ill be letting that slip by, because i know how important it is to work towards our dreams and goals.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
Time to say FUCK IT. Seriously, be reckless. I mean, I don't think you would hurt anyone or anything? So stop questioning yoursef, trust that you're a good person and pretend the constraints and boundaries and al the ways people expect you to behave and the ways most miserable behave aren't real - and then they wont be. Sorry if this is totally off the mark but reading your post I get a kind of 'argh I'm claustrophobi with anxiety feeling (somehat familiar to me) and eventually in this instance I will say fuck it, to anything and everything to find my core and embrace my all. even it's far from perfect... IDo you live near nature at all? It reealy helps me getback in touch with myself, if you feel the same spend as much time in it as possible!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
554 Posts
IM anxious because im scared i wont get anywhere with my music production and that ill be 35 and give up on it and looking back thinking "i should of worked harder"

I badly want to become a success with it too, its something that i love doing, and i love DJing out to, my dream is to be playing out my own music.I feel like if i just sit and read a book, ill be letting that slip by, because i know how important it is to work towards our dreams and goals.
You need to be confident in your ability to get where you want to be. Be completely realistic in terms where you're bound to face obstacles. Don't think of them as setbacks, obstacles are your advantage to learn.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Up and Away

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,140 Posts
Like right now, i have a book i wanna read, id love to just get it out now and start reading, but i find it hard to relax and get into it, and it just doesn't feel right, like i should be doing something productive, or that ive forgotten something that needs doing

Anyone else have this?
Oh man, yes. In fact, during the mere 7 sessions I ever had with a therapist, this was one of the big things we talked about. He would ask me, "how would it feel to just sit with that feeling, to be anxious and just sit with it?" Not sure why he kept asking me this, but I thought about it and decided he was trying to get me to stop feeling guilty all the time. Do you have a nagging sensation that is telling you "be productive! Don't rest now, you have to do this or that first!" I certainly do/did. I couldn't relax. When I tried to relax, I would lay there and just feel like I was wasting time and the more I thought about how much time I was wasting, the more paralyzed I became and the LESS I got accomplished! I sat there in paralysis going "what do I do? what do i do?" and nothing got done because I couldn't decide anything. It was maddening.

What I learned from all this was that I need to give myself permission to relax and read a book, or enjoy something in the moment. I need to remind myself that it's perfectly ok to be doing these things. You aren't hurting anything by enjoying the moment. Just because you are putting off what you need to do to enjoy something else at that moment, it doesn't mean you are going to get in trouble or it's the end of the world. You have time. It will be ok. No one is going to yell at you. Guilt isn't going to get you anywhere, in fact it makes you feel more miserable.

So when you start feeling anxious like this, try to be aware of it. Realize you are feeling anxious and tell yourself that it's ok to be anxious. Don't beat yourself up for it. Don't feel guilty. Say "this is me and I'm anxious. I accept this and it will pass." Can you take a break and relax for a moment? What's the worse that can happen? You put something off for a day? Take a step out of yourself and see it from another perspective. In the end, it won't matter whether you took that hour to read a book or to do that chore you need to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
You need to be confident in your ability to get where you want to be. Be completely realistic in terms where you're bound to face obstacles. Don't think of them as setbacks, obstacles are your advantage to learn.
I do have confidence in it, and i am realistic i guess i need to take more breaks from it and like Galimau has said, find ways to get back to feeling connected.I guess im scared too, i mean, im 25, and haven't made it with my music yet, but i have improve a tonne in recent years and i feel like im getting closer.I just worried like i said, if i relax and just read a book, that im letting my dream slip by.I dont think having my studio in my bedroom helps either, Ive just taken my laptop out of there, and into the livingroom, im going to leave it in here and return to my room and just try to relax and maybe try and start on that book i want to read. When i say to myself, im leaving my production tonight, and just going to do other things, a weight it lifted off my shoulders, i do know that i enjoy making music, and a part of it helps my self esteem too when Ive done something good. Ive also developed alot of my social skills over the years, mainly due to my DJing, and music.So it has helped me alot in ways. Maybe i just need to learn when to give it a break
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,990 Posts
IM anxious because im scared i wont get anywhere with my music production and that ill be 35 and give up on it and looking back thinking "i should of worked harder"
then work on your music, the book will still be there later

I remember studying for exams and playing on the pc, then I realized that as much as I wanted to have fun, exams were a deadline sort of thing and video games will always be there

you'll be ok, just define some clear goals and work towards them
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Oh man, yes. In fact, during the mere 7 sessions I ever had with a therapist, this was one of the big things we talked about. He would ask me, "how would it feel to just sit with that feeling, to be anxious and just sit with it?" Not sure why he kept asking me this, but I thought about it and decided he was trying to get me to stop feeling guilty all the time. Do you have a nagging sensation that is telling you "be productive! Don't rest now, you have to do this or that first!" I certainly do/did. I couldn't relax. When I tried to relax, I would lay there and just feel like I was wasting time and the more I thought about how much time I was wasting, the more paralyzed I became and the LESS I got accomplished! I sat there in paralysis going "what do I do? what do i do?" and nothing got done because I couldn't decide anything. It was maddening.

What I learned from all this was that I need to give myself permission to relax and read a book, or enjoy something in the moment. I need to remind myself that it's perfectly ok to be doing these things. You aren't hurting anything by enjoying the moment. Just because you are putting off what you need to do to enjoy something else at that moment, it doesn't mean you are going to get in trouble or it's the end of the world. You have time. It will be ok. No one is going to yell at you. Guilt isn't going to get you anywhere, in fact it makes you feel more miserable.

So when you start feeling anxious like this, try to be aware of it. Realize you are feeling anxious and tell yourself that it's ok to be anxious. Don't beat yourself up for it. Don't feel guilty. Say "this is me and I'm anxious. I accept this and it will pass." Can you take a break and relax for a moment? What's the worse that can happen? You put something off for a day? Take a step out of yourself and see it from another perspective. In the end, it won't matter whether you took that hour to read a book or to do that chore you need to do.

Chores i'm great with, i get them done, its doing other things like watching a movie, reading a book, joining in forum convos i have trouble with.Yes it feels like exactly what you described above
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
then work on your music, the book will still be there later

I remember studying for exams and playing on the pc, then I realized that as much as I wanted to have fun, exams were a deadline sort of thing and video games will always be there

you'll be ok, just define some clear goals and work towards them
I want to tonight, but my istp girlfriend is in the bedroom asleep in my studio and tbo, i dont know how to put it across that i wont my own time tonight working on music, without her getting in some sort of mood.I mean, she wouldent sort of get in a mood, she just seams moody allll the time, like she is misrable, and i feel like i dont wanna make her more misrable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,140 Posts
Chores i'm great with, i get them done, its doing other things like watching a movie, reading a book, joining in forum convos i have trouble with.Yes it feels like exactly what you described above

Do you need to do those other things? If watching a movie isn't going to be enjoyable, then why do it? If you are truly more interested in making music all the time, why do you feel that you must also include these other things into your spare time? Do you feel pressure from other people to do these things? What is your motivation for doing these other things in the first place?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
535 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Do you need to do those other things? If watching a movie isn't going to be enjoyable, then why do it? If you are truly more interested in making music all the time, why do you feel that you must also include these other things into your spare time? Do you feel pressure from other people to do these things? What is your motivation for doing these other things in the first place?

I feel like im missing out on a relaxing, normal life.I feel like i'm not engading in any that i could talk about/share with them people i see.I feel like im missing out on the simple things in life, whilst pursing this huge goal, that is very hard work and needs alot of time put into it to get to the level i want to be.I feel like im not learning anything new,engading with anything else, other than music, too
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
618 Posts
I think you need a hug. *hugs* :happy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: ImminentThunder

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
like Galimau has said...
Ahem, it's gallimaufry?! :p
Okay, this is probably off topic and possibly even counterproductive if you do feel you need a break... but are you intrested in fusing your electronica with some other acoustic stuff? I'm a songwriter too, who also struggles to get things to a personally acceptable standard, and.... if you are, I would genuinely LOVE to share some things with you... we could bounce ideas off each other and.. well, whatever,r I dunno... just a thought. I think the track I listened to of yours (from your other post) is really good anyway :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
912 Posts
I like @gallimaufry's post a lot. To me it seems like you need to get out of your head and more importantly, get some external feedback.

I don't know that you need to be relaxing more or taking your mind off music... I think you might be better off actually being busy making music that you know is going somewhere, that has a clear destination. You need people listening to your stuff and encouraging you to keep making more. You need your music to find an appreciative audience.

Are you actually making music or just thinking/worrying about making it? Also, can you find a way to be just as creative through other outlets that may be appreciated? I know I feel fulfilled when my ideas find an actual purpose in the outside world -- in fact, when I am given a specific assignment, that's when my ideas seem to be really strong. When I am trying to create just for myself, things get very hazy and lazy and I'm just not that motivated to create as when there's someone expecting something from me. I think you need to find that "someone" to be accountable to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
Ah, I know this feeling. I've been experiencing that a lot lately too.
Idk if it'll help you, but what helped me today was just getting out and seeing some new scenery. Just go somewhere nice and peaceful and enjoy the day. A lot of times we get so caught up in our anxiety we become less able to cope with it and put more stress on ourselves which is why (at least for me) I do get that drained feeling as well. Sometimes a change in scenery, a notebook, and a packed lunch is all you need (but that may just be me) . Whatever you end up doing, I hope you eventually begin to feel better. <3
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,390 Posts
I don't know if anyone else gets what i mean by this, but i feel like i carn't enjoy just the simple things anymore.I'm constantly trying to pursue my music career, which involves producing Electronic Dance Music, and that is constantly in my head, ideas etc. I feel like i've lost how it feels to be in the now, always worrying, on edge, about future events, or, i should be doing this, doing that, or my life is doomed. My mind races with this thoughts all the time, and like i said, i don't really feel like I'm 'here' in my mind, like I'm disconnected from feeling how i should right now in this world

Like right now, i have a book i wanna read, id love to just get it out now and start reading, but i find it hard to relax and get into it, and it just doesn't feel right, like i should be doing something productive, or that ive forgotten something that needs doing

Anyone else have this?
If I remember correctly, you recently started a thread on your roommate/flatmate? I think you're stumbling over many, small sources of stress, and they may push you into Te (inferior INFP function), which is not a function you're used to using, so it's a sort of exhausting, which may interfere with your gusto for the simple things.

Once you clear up your head and deal with your stress sources, you may retrieve that 'taste of life' :)
 
1 - 20 of 51 Posts
Top