Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I'm 19 and when I first took the MBTI test last year it gave me a sense of identity that I never had before. I finally understood why I was so different from other people and it was something that was bugging me for as long as I can remember. The problem though is I am Bipolar type 1. Being an INTJ with this illness is a real big struggle for me and I just cant seem to grasp what I am feeling about something or someone. :confused:

A good example would be with this girl I've known since 4th grade. Last year I had a class with her but for all the years that I knew her we never muttered a single word to each other.(I think she is an INFP) I always thought she was very pretty and so on and so fourth but thought she would never have an interest like many other girls. But then I began to realize she was interested in me. At first I was shocked and thrilled :crazy:but the logical part of me didn't understand what was taking place. I would see her steal glances at me every single day and me back at her. At this point I felt infatuated with her and like any other INTJ I wanted to know more. Then a day that I will never forget came. The class was changing seats and I was standing at the edge of the room keeping to my self and when I looked over to my right, there she was. She was turned almost completely at me looking up straight into my eyes. Something happened during that moment that I can barely describe. As I staired back into her eyes I saw a look that I've never seen before in my life. Something overwhelmed my body as we held our gaze for a good 20 seconds. Is this love? I don't know, but it's not infatuation I know that much.

Not to long after this event a friend who was also my teacher passed away and triggered my down phase of my bipolar cycle and because of this I never got the chance to talk to this girl:crying:. I still don't know her at all but I think about her every day. But before I get side tracked, I just want to know how others would handle situations like this and how you encounter situations like this.:confused: I want to know how to handle future situations like this.

p.s. Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar I may have missed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
125 Posts
I have questioned if I have Bi-polar because I get high on online tests and have been majorly depressed in my life. I listen to music and avoid people when this happens to me.

Also, looking at your avatar, I hate to ruin your love of the old gods from WOW, but they are heavily plagarized by HP Lovecrafts Elder Gods in his Cthulhu mythos. I recommend reading lovecraft to see the influence.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I have questioned if I have Bi-polar because I get high on online tests and have been majorly depressed in my life. I listen to music and avoid people when this happens to me.

Also, looking at your avatar, I hate to ruin your love of the old gods from WOW, but they are heavily plagarized by HP Lovecrafts Elder Gods in his Cthulhu mythos. I recommend reading lovecraft to see the influence.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder from a Dr. if your assuming I diagnosed my self. Also, I know the Old Gods where influenced by Lovecrafts books.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,606 Posts
Bipolar is a bitch.

Speak to the girl. If its love (in both directions) there is little that can go wrong :) if it isn't. At least you will know. Not knowing is only self torture and another stick to beat yourself with in a down phase.

Ps.. I need to travel back to when I had time to read Lovecraft. Love the man :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Bipolar is a bitch.

Speak to the girl. If its love (in both directions) there is little that can go wrong :) if it isn't. At least you will know. Not knowing is only self torture and another stick to beat yourself with in a down phase.

Ps.. I need to travel back to when I had time to read Lovecraft. Love the man :)
I wish I could still talk to that girl but I have no means of communication at all with her. But your right about the self torture part. Lack of closure is definitely something that gets to me when I am experiencing the down phase.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,606 Posts
I wish I could still talk to that girl but I have no means of communication at all with her. But your right about the self torture part. Lack of closure is definitely something that gets to me when I am experiencing the down phase.
I have a simple saying.. "there is always a way to win"

Go to her, find her, take the risk and make "a fool" of yourself. You only have the one life and "it's better to regret the things you've done, than the things you haven't"

There are a few people I wish I'd been brave enough to say "hi" to, and there's a few I did, I only regret the ones I didn't say "hi" to :)

If she REALLY means that much to you, you will find a way.



I guess I'm just an old romantic :)
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top