I see Six as your Head fix. Of that I am pretty sure. It's up in the air as to whether Six is your core or not. I saw lots of troubleshooting. You're good at sensing the motivations of people. You can see misunderstandings before they happen and hate them. You value the opinions of others. You mentioned quite a few things that I can seriously relate to. I saw, as I mention more below, Nine things. However, I should tell you that a healthy Six looks rather like a Nine.
I see One or Nine as your gut fix. Nine because of your relationship with anger and conflict. However, those things can also turn out to be Six things. It all depends on the motivation behind why you dislike conflict and what you do before, during, and after conflict. I see One because I see standards that you have set for yourself (and others as well, although I think - just guessing here - that you might be more forgiving towards are than you are of yourself. Not sure, though). You have a perfectionist side to you and feel shame when you have not met certain expectations you have of yourself. You know you've done wrong. I think. I could be wrong, here. But your gut fix could either be 1w9 or 9w1.
I am trying to figure out what is your Image fix. I think it is Three. 3w4 or 4w3.
As for which of these things is your core, I am trying to make up my mind as to what motivations I see. I cannot tell whether you are more motivated by anger or fear.
I would say a rather relaxed and objective 2, this would probably be referred to as a 2w1. I seen reason to not agree with 9, 7, or 3 (ordered most likely other possibilities to unlikely). I can go into a detailed explanation if necessary.
Here are some good links to read up on types:
Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions
the enneagram ...info from the underground
and also each type's forum has an article written by Timeless, which is great also.
Thanks guys! Your help is wonderful. Timeless' descriptions are great and I have already read them all at least once. Today I went through them again, and thoroughly read and analyzed the two links worth of information a few times.
I'll start with things I mostly do not relate to, and transition into things I relate to interspersed with insights and observations about myself.
I don't relate to the 5's penchant for acquiring power for its own sake. Although intellectually curious, everything I involve myself with has some level of practicality (Though others may not see it. I define practical as having use to me, so investigating a concept simply for the sake of understanding it better is practical.). Also I don't think I share the same fear or worry that my emotions will overwhelm me. However, 5 is frequently one of the top types I receive on Enneagram tests (on one of the longer and more involved tests, I get 2, 5, 4, and 9 as my top types and all within 2 points of each other, and 6 is up there too)
I do not relate to most of the description of type 7. I have faith in the future, but it is not blind. I am certainly not consumed by my wants. I am not shameless, insensitive, or cocky. After reading about type 7s, I think my ENTP sister might be one, and I am different from her. I see through the possibilities of future actions, and the way I think contrasts with the 7 ideology. I'm very likely not a 7.
I am not a 'work hard play hard' person. From what I have read, 8s appear to have a 'me vs world' mentality that I do not share. I consider myself apart from the world, but more as an observer who can choose to continue observing from the inside, or choose to use my outside perspective to change things. I do not share the same want for dominance and fear of losing control that 8s do. Being controlled is acceptable as long as the person in charge is at least as competent as I would be (or competent enough to meet my satisfaction). If the person in charge is incompetent, I will strongly consider paths that would restore competence in the leadership position. I'm not an 8.
I relate to some of the 1 description, but I do not relate to the essence of type 1. I have high standards for myself that I frequently do not measure up to, but other times I underestimate myself. 1s seem to avoid relaxation because it is 'an embodiment of idleness' and an indulgence that should not be allowed. While I believe relaxation is a very subjective term, I don't have trouble relaxing. My relaxation is typically an activity that lacks pressure and has some sort of meaning to me (like sitting around campus with my laptop finding my Enneagram type). I think relaxation can help people zoom out and improve their understanding of the whole picture. In one of the type 1 descriptions, it is mentioned that 1s are honest people not skilled in the art of deception. I consider myself a very honest person (I believe lying is wrong, and I have a somewhat deontological view on it) but I find myself very skilled at manipulating people. I easily see their limits, motivations, and inner workings, and use that to guide my interactions and bring about my desired outcome. I can also use other people's incomplete grasp of who I am to my advantage, but I will not lie, and I will not mislead them on purpose. Sometimes I find myself manipulating naturally, but I never do so in a harmful manner with harmful consequences.
On a different note, I think many people I interact with don't know what to think of me. I don't give out a lot of myself, and what I do give out they are seemingly unable to piece together into something they are familiar with.
Ones - the enneagram ...info from the underground
These descriptions are very helpful in my study. One of the most helpful portions is the 'Possible Mistypes' section where it contrasts the type in question with the eight other types. Through those comparisons I am able to piece together what differentiates each type from the others, and further understand the Enneagram and where I might fit in.
Back to the types...
The first sentence in one of the Type 6 descriptions is "People of enneatype Six are essentially insecure, as though life has never quite provided them with a proper footing, as though there existed nothing, either internally or externally, which could serve as a solid foundation." Many type six descriptions describe people who have at their core a 'deep-seated knot of anxiety' and an eternal awareness and
fear of worst case scenarios. If I try, I can imagine worst case scenarios, but why think about them if I know my positive scenarios will work? Maybe my worst case scenarios just aren't really as bad as other people's. I don't think there's any situation I could not work with, and I do not see myself as insecure. I relate somewhat to Timeless' 6w5 description, but I think I have a similar 'what' with a different 'why'. At the moment I am unsure why I can be independent, but I have the feeling it isn't because I think people can be two-faced or deceitful. I just don't feel like I'm battling the fear and doubt the type 6 descriptions all talk about. I like challenging the motives and beliefs of others, as 6s are said to sometimes do, but I understand how others could and will overreact to my perceived assault, and I use that to my advantage when helping them see what I want them to see and grow.
"The vice of Type Six is fear, and when a Type Six succumbs to fear, everything and everyone can look like a competitor in the game of survival. This stress arrow causes the Six to adopt the negative traits of a Three; that is, they become competitive, arrogant and cut-throat." I really don't relate to this 'Stress Arrow to Type 3' in Timeless' description. Perhaps I have never succumbed to fear, but I still can't see this happening in myself.
I find that I feel very 'at home' reading type 4 descriptions, and I am unsure whether or not INFJs have a tendency for this that is unrelated to their actual Enneagram (because data shows that a significant number of INFJs identify with type 4).
"Of all the types, Fours are the most acutely aware that the persona is a construct – something which has been created and can thus be re-created."
I consider myself very aware of this fact, and my knowledge of it is why I am now endeavoring to be my true self. The 'persona' is something the outside sees- the true self lies in the essence of your being, something you cannot change, and as a manifestation of the true self the persona is incapable of perfectly
capturing who you are. Simply put, I want my persona to be as accurate as possible.
"Fours strive for authenticity, for an expression of themselves which is “true,” but the image they portray is, by its nature, delusory, and inevitably fails to convey the true depths and complexity of the self."
I don't relate to this as much- I am not trying to be something I'm not, but I know that most people (likely everyone, including myself) will never fully understand my complexity and depth. Other people will have difficulty because I have different personas for different groups, and if they cannot grasp the small portions of myself they show to the outside world, there is little chance of them finding out exactly who I am beneath the surface (and thus the entirety of who I am). This position of mine is hard to describe because I simply don't know everything about it. The extent to which I am knowledgeable of some of my depths is solely by realizing they're there.
When pondering myself, I realize that I resent being generally categorized with other people, and that I enjoy feeling unique. I think this is partly because it reinforces my notion that I am different from everyone else, but also because the difference between me and most other people is that I am superior in some respects (so I perceive).
"Fours with a Three wing are generally more outgoing, practical and competitive than Fours with a Five wing. They often have a dramatic flair and tend to be emotionally expressive. Fours with a Five wing are more withdrawn and, while still predominantly emotional, more likely to be intellectuals who infuse their feelings with ideas. They tend to be introspective, often to the point of self-absorption."
I don't think I'm dramatic, and I'm only emotionally expressive towards those I'm close to. However, I consider myself a withdrawn person (who is able to be outside, but never fully so), emotional, and I relate to being 'an intellectual who infuses his feelings with ideas'. I am very introspective, and I think I can get very 'self-absorbed' in my pondering. But I am currently unsure whether this is 4w5 or not.
"People of Enneatype Three are adaptable, ambitious, self-confident, focused, success oriented and image conscious."
I relate to some of these things. Especially adaptable, self-confidant, and success oriented (I define success very subjectively, seeing success where many see failure and failure where many see success)
"Threes are people who adopt an ideal of success and attempt to embody it. This ideal frequently comes from their parents, and many Threes unwittingly live out their parents' unlived lives."
"Many Threes subtly and even unconsciously alter their self-presentation to appeal to the particular person or audience with whom they are engaging. The problem is that in the process of doing so, they sometimes lose touch with who they really are."
"The central deception of the Three however, is that which the Three engages in by mistaking the image he or she projects, for the reality of an inner life, and for seducing others into making that same mistake."
However, I do not relate to the above descriptions. I do not adopt someone else's ideal of success. My success is unique to me, and while I feel pressured to make my parents happy, I think they will be happy with my true self. The second and third bits rub against me the most. I do not believe I change myself to better appeal to others. I am a strong believer in authenticity, and I am always myself. If I'm trying to appeal to someone, I think I try to make them want to be more like me. The third sentence reminds me of creating some kind of illusion to persuade others. I may have different faces, but the faces are genuinely mine, and the actions I take in those situations are what I would do in those situations. Other people may see a persona of mine as an illusion because they are only seeing a part of the whole, but they are the ones creating the illusion. Illusions aren't real, and I am.
"Threes with the Two wing are warmer and more people oriented than those with a Four wing. They are generous and expansive and usually have a large number of friends and acquaintances. Classic extroverts, they intuitively know how to connect with others at an emotional level; they tend to use this ability to further their personal and professional goals. Threes with the Four wing tend to focus their energy on projects rather than people, although they still have a fair amount of social energy. The introspective energy of the Four wing is difficult for the Three to integrate. Consequently, Threes with a Four wing sometimes attempt to escape it's pressure by way of workaholism. They tend to be more conflicted about matters relating to intimacy than Threes with a Two wing."
I am not a classic extrovert. I don't really relate to 3w4 either- I am easily introspective, and I certainly do not attempt to avoid introspection through workaholism.
I relate to optimism, dislike of conflict, and the loving demeanor that type 9s have.
"The central problem for Nines revolves around the fact that their desire to maintain peace and to avoid conflict is compulsive. As the potential for conflict in life is virtually ubiquitous, the Nine's inability to confront it forcefully and deal with it effectively, leaves the Nine at a serious disadvantage when it comes to living a full, satisfying and honest life."
But I do not compulsively avoid conflict. I am not averse to risking conflict in my relations if necessary, because I am all about personal growth, and if there is conflict when I try to help someone grow, then it usually signifies an inner turmoil that needs to be dealt with. I would rather have no conflict, but I realize it is sometimes unavoidable and I must work with it.
"While some Nines do assume positions of leadership, most Nines are not especially ambitious. They pay their dues to the world but essentially prefer to withdraw from it. They are "home bodies" who are generally devoted to their families, especially to their children. They enjoy their hobbies and appreciate some time to themselves. They generally value simplicity and cultivate the virtue of patience. They are frequently creative in a modest and unassuming way. They adopt an attitude of acceptance towards life. They don't ask for too much; sometimes they ask for too little. At a very deep level, at a level which seldom breaks through to conscious awareness, most Nines simply feel that they don't deserve too much. Nines would do well to develop a certain kind of healthy selfishness, as many of their difficulties turn on the fact that they are too selfless."
This is not really me. I don't consider being an authority figure as part of my ambition, but I definitely have ambitions. (On a side note, I would rather be outside of the authority-not authority system altogether. I typically know what's best for me to be doing, and I think the usually far to general mandates of authorities limit what I can do and how I can help myself and those within the system.) This description doesn't resonate with me, even though I share some views like patience and a similar kind of creativity (at least from my perspective). I don't ask for too much because I don't need that much. I am not one to just 'pay my dues' and withdraw to my comfort zone.
I do think I am a humble and modest person. I try to follow this mandate: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
I do relate to Luke Skywalker somewhat, who is considered a 9. He (and 9 descriptions) just seem so 'hazy' sometimes and I think I might have a bit of an edge.
As of now, I relate to more than a few type 9 descriptors but I do not relate to a few key concepts or the type as a whole (I don't think I have yet related to any type as a whole.).
I also relate to type 2 more than other types, and I'm not sure if it's because I am one or if its self-giving altruistic ideals are what I seek to embody.
"It is entirely true that Twos are other oriented individuals who provide a great deal of nurturing and support to those in their charge. The Two’s self-image of being giving and helpful is not at all without merit. Twos often serve as the social “glue” which, for instance, keeps the office staff informed of everyone’s birthday - they are the ones who pass the cards around for others to sign. They are the ones who make sure that large families get together for reunions - they cook the food and strongly encourage everyone to attend. In an increasingly fractured society, they are often the ones working indefatigably to make sure that everyone is cared for."
I don't relate to the activities in this description, but I see a similar and less careaholic concept in myself. I do like being appreciated for what I do, but I don't think it's necessary, and if it is more than a little appreciation then I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think I manipulate for others' attention like 2s seem to.
"Twos with a One wing tend to be more emotionally restrained than those with a Three wing and are frequently attracted to causes as well as people. Something of the idealism of type One attaches to their giving. They can become self-righteous if they are unbalanced or don't receive the appreciation which is their due. Twos with the Three wing are more expansive, ambitious and image oriented than those with a Two wing. They are frequently competitive but are also extremely generous with their time and energy."
I can relate to 2w1 more than 2w3.
I apologize for the rather lengthy answer. I didn't realize I'd written so much until recently, but that's what thinking intensely for five hours will do to me... I think my writing gets more in-depth as it goes on, so I might have to clarify a few things later.
There are more thoughts I have, but I will hold on to them for now.
Thanks again for your assistance!