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I didn't really know this about me.

I'm a female INFP.

But i noticed I like the challenge. But I wont do it directly. I'm a bit of coward that way where if i see them, my mind doesn't think of how to do it well.

But say indirectly, like through body language or text, i can. I find through texting its fun because i can do plays on words and its a creative challenge that i find i can turn humorous (in my opinion, i can make myself laugh by thinking how silly it is). Through body language, if i find someone looking at me for a prolonged time, i can look at them and smile kinda thing.

Embarrassing, I know. They aren't even moves, theyre just moves in MY opinion. I dont even want to date them, its more like just the humor of it for me.

I don't know if other female infps feel the same way and would be interested to find out about flirting and infps in general so give me your feedback guys.
 

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I can't imagine doing this to someone I wasn't interested in... that would just feel weird to me.
interested, but not necessarily in dating or having them approach me.
 

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Showing someone that you really noticed something about them is the best flirt. Everyone notices a person who can point out features about them. I know because that's what I do when I'm simply making conversation and it's always taken as flirting by single women.

How do introverted women flirt with me? By mirroring me. Giving me back what I've just given them. They try to establish a common ground. And if they get a notion that you are interested in them, which they do if they're single, they will continue to work towards a common ground until you expressly turn them away.
How do extroverted women flirt with me? Broad warm smile and sparkling eyes. But they back off if I don't show an interest. It's easy to pop their balloon.

I don't like it when people try to manipulate so it has to seem like a natural, compatible coming together in a conversation for me to enjoy a woman's advances (is that the word for it?).
 

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I can flirt now. I could not until I was quite a lot older, maybe my late 20s? I definitely flirted a lot with my husband. I’ll do a little playful flirting with people now, men or women. (Hopefully) nothing that anyone would take as a serious advance. It can be fun, and it can be a bit of an ego-rush for both people. So no harm as long as you don’t cross the line into leading people on. I try to be careful with opposite-sex friends not to accidentally fall into flirting. Since I tend to do a lot of bantering, I occasionally have warning sirens go off in my head “Danger, danger, flirting line has been breached! I repeat, flirting line has been breached! Reverse awkwardly!”
 

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I can flirt now. I could not until I was quite a lot older, maybe my late 20s? I definitely flirted a lot with my husband. I’ll do a little playful flirting with people now, men or women. (Hopefully) nothing that anyone would take as a serious advance. It can be fun, and it can be a bit of an ego-rush for both people. So no harm as long as you don’t cross the line into leading people on. I try to be careful with opposite-sex friends not to accidentally fall into flirting. Since I tend to do a lot of bantering, I occasionally have warning sirens go off in my head “Danger, danger, flirting line has been breached! I repeat, flirting line has been breached! Reverse awkwardly!”
I flirted quite a bit up until I reached 30 years old. I was married and i met a woman in work who was married so I thought the flirting was just for fun. It turned out she was serious. She didn't like being married to her husband and was seriously looking to get out of it. I fell rather hard for her charms and I decided right then and there I should never assume that flirting was a pastime. I realized that you're messing with people's emotions and that was never my intention. I simply liked making plays on words which came easily to me.
 

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I flirted quite a bit up until I reached 30 years old. I was married and i met a woman in work who was married so I thought the flirting was just for fun. It turned out she was serious. She didn't like being married to her husband and was seriously looking to get out of it. I fell rather hard for her charms and I decided right then and there I should never assume that flirting was a pastime. I realized that you're messing with people's emotions and that was never my intention. I simply liked making plays on words which came easily to me.
Totally agree that it can be dangerous; that is why I have my “no flirting with friends” rule, unless they are straight women or gay men and they know that I am straight.

I have two rules with opposite-sex friends: No flirting, and no complaining about my husband, ever. It minimizes the risk of misunderstandings.

When I say I like to flirt sometimes, I mean the occasional flirty exchange with random people who I don’t interact with regularly.
 

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When single, I give small signs if I am interested in a woman. Showing off my knowledge in a conversation that she can be invested in is how I do my best flirting. Listening, laughter and lore are essential to love in my book! In general, I find flirting extroverted and that is not easy for me, so I wait until I know someone a bit first.

I rather resent harmless flirting, because it is selfish and toys with my emotions. Why would someone offer the extra attention if they aren't intending to date me? I don't like to hand out ego strokes for free - especially to someone who is in a relationship, because that's toeing the line of cheating in my book.
 

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I rather resent harmless flirting, because it is selfish and toys with my emotions. Why would someone offer the extra attention if they aren't intending to date me? I don't like to hand out ego strokes for free - especially to someone who is in a relationship, because that's toeing the line of cheating in my book.
I think that depends on how you define flirting. I have been with my husband for 20 years; I’m not sure I would expect anyone to go about 50 years of their life and never flirt with a single person besides their partner. That sounds... unreasonable. If someone you are chatting with at a cash register does something to let you know they find you attractive or interesting, is that toying with your emotions? Because I”m not sure how there would be any emotional investment there to toy with. My husband is an incredible flirt without ever crossing the line into seeming creepy or predatory. He flirts with 80 year old women. They giggle like girls. I’m quite sure their feelings are not hurt and I highly doubt they think he is interested in dating them, especially since he is with me and I am laughing and going along with it. He has a foreign accent in our city where that is not common. Women throw themselves at him flirting, I kid you not, especially if alcohol is involved. He is always gracious enough to shine a little light back at them. Our relationship is secure, I never feel jealous. And I like that he is the kind of guy that does not want to hurt their egos rather than the kind of guy who says “Knock it off, I’m not interested.”

People like to feel attractive. There is a difference between letting someone know you think they are attractive and acting as if you want to date them or have an affair with them, and maybe that is where the difference lies. I am into playful banter and puns which can be interpreted as flirting by many. (That’s why I said I”m careful with my friends to try not cross that line). My husband is more into some flattery and charm. Neither of us ever make the sorts of leading statements that imply we are actually interested, nor do we have ongoing flirtations with anyone.

The other part of flirting, which is physical flirting (touching the hair or face, dilating pupils, increased gazing) is often largely subconscious and people don’t even realize they are doing it. I have mentioned here before that when I first started dating my husband, we were long distance. I’d find myself twirling my hair or biting my lip while reading his emails. I know for a fact that I did not set out to flirt with my computer monitor. :blushed:

I have heard these are the sorts of things couples need to sometimes negotiate because what is harmless fun to one is threatening, sometimes, to another.
 

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Interesting topic! Generally speaking the idea of flirting scares the crap out of me. If I’m not almost 100% sure that someone is attracted to me, I won’t do anything.

But if someone flirts with me and I can tell that it’s intentional, I find myself doing it back even if I’m not interested. It’s almost involuntary.

I do love mutual flirting, even if I know it’s not going to go anywhere. It makes me happy. If someone is very obviously flirting with me and I find them attractive I will always try to reciprocate and it’s wonderful. Hasn’t happened in a while, though.
 

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I totally avoid flirting altogether. There are several reasons I feel this way. Firstly, I'd feel like a total creep if it turns out she's not interested in me. Since I don't have much experience flirting and am naturally awkward, it'd probably come off as clumsy. Finally, it feels like I'm playing a game, and I don't like toying with people.

As you might guess, I don't get many dates. But I did manage to score a healthy and long-lasting relationship without flirting. Now that it's over though, I may have to reconsider my approach. I'm not really sure where to begin.
 

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No.
 

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I didn't really know this about me.

I'm a female INFP.

But i noticed I like the challenge. But I wont do it directly. I'm a bit of coward that way where if i see them, my mind doesn't think of how to do it well.

But say indirectly, like through body language or text, i can. I find through texting its fun because i can do plays on words and its a creative challenge that i find i can turn humorous (in my opinion, i can make myself laugh by thinking how silly it is). Through body language, if i find someone looking at me for a prolonged time, i can look at them and smile kinda thing.

Embarrassing, I know. They aren't even moves, theyre just moves in MY opinion. I dont even want to date them, its more like just the humor of it for me.

I don't know if other female infps feel the same way and would be interested to find out about flirting and infps in general so give me your feedback guys.
I don't intend to flirt, but we know how intentions usually play out.

Very flirty over text [reason #13522 why I don't text a lot]. I get addicted to word play and double entendres, so I'd rather keep myself from those situations if I can.

In person I'm not as aware of being flirtatious, but my friends have often commented on my 'bedroom' eyes towards others, so I think I'm more intense than I would like to believe. I don't actively encourage others to do the same with me, though. If I feel eye contact on me [every single week, can't wait to switch positions], I blatantly ignore it or respond a beat late to not seem 'smooth'. I don't want to date them either, I just know I can get carried away, so I'd rather not mess with someone who IS looking to date!

TL;DR : very flirty, but not available, so it comes off as mysterious [which doesn't help in trying to keep others at bay]. :ninja:
 
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It sounds like different strokes for different folks. While I find it manipulative when absent romantic intent, it is clear that so many others do not. If flirting works for you, have fun with it! If it ever comes my way from someone I am interested in and they meant it as harmless, it is going to hurt.
 

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It sounds like different strokes for different folks. While I find it manipulative when absent romantic intent, it is clear that so many others do not. If flirting works for you, have fun with it! If it ever comes my way from someone I am interested in and they meant it as harmless, it is going to hurt.
I think this is why I'm not very receptive to flirting. I always figure that if someone is dead serious, they'll come out and say so. I'll never put any stock into flirting [but I assume others will].
 
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interested, but not necessarily in dating or having them approach me.
For me, I don't see the point if I don't see a future with them, since it wouldn't lead anywhere most likely. It's like: if I'm interested in you that means I actually want to do something with you. Also there is the possibility that you can accidentally make someone think something that isn't true, and then you will have to back away later. Those are my thoughts on it anyway.
 

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Totally agree that it can be dangerous; that is why I have my “no flirting with friends” rule, unless they are straight women or gay men and they know that I am straight.

I have two rules with opposite-sex friends: No flirting, and no complaining about my husband, ever. It minimizes the risk of misunderstandings.

When I say I like to flirt sometimes, I mean the occasional flirty exchange with random people who I don’t interact with regularly.
I was working with this ENFJ who would often talk with me about how she'd like her future husband to be, what kind of life she'd like to have, her family, passions, gave me compliments on looks and appreciating my good qualities... How did it come to her as a surprise that I had feelings for her? No flickin idea.
 
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