[sparklepop]

HELP!!! Ok so I'm one of those INFPs that finds parties/dances/raging discos physically draining. :frustrating: I'm really worried that during the middle of prom I'll hit that wall, and won't be able to take all of the noise/dancing/people.
I'm so scared that if I get all introverted, I'll disappoint my ENFJ date

Is anyone else going through the same dread?

Any tips on staying "in the moment" and energetic?

 

[brennycat]

Same here same here same here! ^.^
Hahah, sorry I am so enthusiastic, but I was afraid that this fear was just me.
I feel like that too! It's like I somehow get sucked into the speaker and space out beyond belief. I find that what really helps me to stay 'in the zone' and social and in tune is to just completely ignore any fears/doubts/anxieties that you might have, and be spontaneous. I know how impossible that sounds, as a biiiig struggler of super-severe-social anxiety, but just try the best that you can, and think about your strengths, and know that you're awesome
Have loooots of fun at prom! ^.^
~Brennycat.

 

[basementbugs]

Argh, I hated school dances of any sort, not just prom. I believe I attended two in all my years at school; they were so awkward and most of the music was dreadful. Thankfully at 27 I don't have to worry about those things now. I'd much rather spend a relatively quiet evening out at a pub with a friend or two, enjoying a few drinks and some live music.

As far as advice... I'm not sure I have anything too useful. :\ How long is the evening going to be? Is it required that you be there for the whole thing? (Of course, possibly you want to be there for the full duration of the event...)

Oh! One thing comes to mind actually, though it's maybe not directly helpful as far as attending the prom itself. When I was 19, a very extroverted friend of mine who absolutely loves clubbing and dancing and tons of socialising dragged me to a club in Toronto one evening. I'd never been to a club before and figured I might as well push my boundaries a bit and see if I could enjoy myself. The music ended up being awful and I got very drunk in an attempt to make myself more comfortable and feel at ease, and... well, let's just say I don't like to recall that night. (Hopefully you don't end up feeling that way about prom, though!) I felt so out of my element and very uncomfortable with my behaviour when I was sobered up the next morning. What I did to help ease that feeling was to leave my friend's place early in the morning and spend the day on my own -- taking time for myself and making extra effort to fill that time with things that helped me recharge and feel in touch with me again. If I recall correctly, I spent the day exploring one of the waterfront parks in Toronto and then hung out at a bookstore for a while, got a cup of tea somewhere and sat reading for a bit, and took the train home in the early evening and listened to favourite music the entire way back. Basically, I contrasted the previous night's very intense socialising (well, intense for me, haha) with a low-key but very fulfilling day spent by myself. I felt so much better after doing that.

I'm not sure if that's useful to you at all... but I would suggest that you do something the next day that helps you recharge and sort of just come down from all the activity the night before.

P.S. I hope you have a fun evening! Good luck. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, if that's possible.

 

[Oh_no_she_DIDNT]

HELP!!! Ok so I'm one of those INFPs that finds parties/dances/raging discos physically draining. :frustrating: I'm really worried that during the middle of prom I'll hit that wall, and won't be able to take all of the noise/dancing/people.
I'm so scared that if I get all introverted, I'll disappoint my ENFJ date

Is anyone else going through the same dread?

Any tips on staying "in the moment" and energetic?

Hmmm... well, maybe just let the experience be what it will be. Don't expect it to be dreadful nor amazing, but just let it be an experience. Just be happy that you are taking advantage of a once in a life time opportunity (assuming its a senior prom?) and challenging yourself to do something that doesn't necessarily seem like your cup-of-tea. Think of it as an opportunity for growth. haha.

I'd also say, don't be afraid to be 'introverted'. Just be yourself, even if yourself is a wallflower or an observer or you daydream to the music or find a corner to talk to your date. Hang out with your date and just enjoy each others company as much as you can. I'd say... don't feel pressure to be anything you are not, but also be open to new experiences.


****************

I liked my senior prom. My date was an INTP friend of mine. I was pleasantly surprised he asked me because he didn't strike me as the prom-type but I was happy he did.

I got all dolled up, we took pictures at his house, and then we went to a sushi restaurant before the event. (It was fun being dressed up and going out to eat) Then we got to the prom and we mingled and, I can't even remember. I danced some with my friends but not him because I knew he wasn't into dancing. He even offered to dance but I said he didn't have to worry about it. Its kind of a blur thinking about it now.

The best part of the night was after the dance, walking around the harbor with my date and having philosophical discussions perfectly suited for an INFP-INTP. I remember looking at the seals in front of the Aquarium and just talking and taking it all in, and being so content.

haha.. also, we didn't get a limo, I drove a hoopty that kept on stalling in the parking garage when we were trying to leave.. haha.. We both laughed.. No biggie.


*********************


I hope you have fun. Let us know how it goes!

 

[da_gobbo]

may not be very helpful but i always found some sort of excuse not to go, then had a much more enjoyable stress free evening with a book

 

[Persephone]

Pah. Prom. Just remember that whatever happens, you're graduating and won't see this person again unless you want to.

 

[appleblossom]

I'm really regretting wasting money on a ticket and a dress. I don't see myself enjoying prom. I think if I can get a couple drinks in me, the extravert in me will make an appearance and I'll have a lovely time!

 

[illicit iridescence]

I'm so scared that if I get all introverted, I'll disappoint my ENFJ date

Stay 'extraverted' :3

If you don't like dancing, just try a little bobbing to the music. If you don't know how to start a conversation, just start with something easy like saying something about the music or the people or the place or how your conversation partner is dressed or how you feel about being there. Brilliant conversations don't need a brilliant opening. ^^ If you don't know how to keep the conversation going, try rephrasing what your conversation partner said and/or ask questions.

Don't worry too much about how you think/feel about things, definitely try to stay away from thoughts that get your Fi rolling down the hill, most likely those thoughts will drive you into your head.

Basically, get out of your head and into your environment, without wanting to burn it all down :3

 

[robespierre]

awwwww I went to prom last year with a boyfriend and I actually had a great time. I guess it depends on your date and who else is there...I was surrounded by my bestest friends. Before my ex-bf asked me out, I was actually not going to go and had the traditional introvert attitude towards it.

tipss:
-In the beginning, tell your date to stick with you and have him guide you on the dancefloor...concentrate on him and your friends for the whole night so there really shouldn't be any reason to retreat into yourself.
-Whenever I do get overwhelmed with noises/people, I just go into a bathroom to breathe and re-energize for like 5-10 minutes. I look in the mirror, get myself together and then I'm ready to interact again. Idk, Try it. It might work for you. Im in college now, and I still do this lol.
-just let go. don't think about negative things like disappointing your date. if you feel nervous, allow yourself to feel nervous but don't let negative thoughts take over. you're going to be okay. i bet you'll look gorgeous. just try to enjoy the moment.

When my date wanted to get up and dance, I didnt really care who was looking at me...I just blocked everything out and went for it.

 

[okaydrifter]

when i went to prom it wasn't half as draining as i thought it would be. a lot of it was boring sitting around eating and listening to speakers and stuff. then when the dancing finally happened, it was nice! there were chances to sit down and be quiet and stuff, during the different like father/daughter, mother/son dances and whatever, and chances to sit around away from the dance floor and just chat with family or whoever.

but the best thing was that i didn't become drained at all prom night. i dunno why. i guess my mind was just set on it.

worst case scenario you could always sneak off the the bathroom and like chill out and plug your ears and catch your sanity for a minute, haha. step outside for some air. if your date is a super partier i'm sure he won't mind dancing while you're off doing something for a minute. and if you find your energy draining while trying to be social, just smile a little bit. people don't mind if you stop talking for a bit as long as you look relaxed and smiling, haha.

go to bed super early the night before, be well rested and blah blah. and have fun!

 

[dann]

I think there have been alot of great suggestions here!
Just to reiterate a few:
-Don't worry about it and just have fun. Stay out of your head!
-Surround yourself with your friends
-Dance your butt off!

and drink some alcohol prior

 

[basementbugs]

and drink some alcohol prior

I'm not sure that's the best idea, really...

 

[locofoco]

I went to prom, but the actual prom felt like a regular school dance, just more expensive. My favorite part was more so what happened directly after, when my friends and I went to a classic 1950s looking diner, and I ordered a hamburger, fries, and a milk shake. lol I tucked a napkin over my dress so it wouldn't get messy. XD I don't know, I just felt very American in that moment -- in a prom dress, having a burger and a milk shake at 2am with my high school buddies all crammed into a tiny booth. Also, there was a really funny moment with an ENTP friend. I was too exhausted to articulate that I only has a 20 dollar bill, and wanted to pay with that bill but have someone give me their change so it's like we both paid for our stuff with the twenty. But all I was able to say was, "I have a 20....." and then my brain died. But my ENTP friend said, very sagely, "I understand." And then the flock of ESFJs at the table were all, "WTF," and then the ENTP went on to lengthily explain, and then I went, "Exactly," and we just looked at each other like we'd only just seen each other for the first time. It was one of those "I feel infinite" moments.

But I think you'll only freeze up if you allow yourself to freeze up. The majority of prom will be in the dark, so no one will see you being outrageous when the only light is a strobe light. And you probably only have about a month or so left with these people (if you're senior ), so who cares about what happens that night as long as you're not putting yourself at risk. Let go of your inhibitions and let this be a moment to let out the weird, absurd side of the INFP that isn't normally seen.

 

[dann]

I'm not sure that's the best idea, really...

or perhaps it's the best idea in the entire thread!

 

[illicit iridescence]

I estimate that 'drinking alcohol' has a likelihood of about 20% at being a great suggestion... 40% at being a not so great suggestion, 40% at being a bad suggestion. :3

 

[FlowerChild]

Go in with a positive attitude! Prom is supposed to be about having fun, and spending time with all of your friends and classmates before you all leave high school. Just remember, this is the last night so you don't have to worry about anyone judging you. Maybe get a bit of a buzz before you go, just to help you relax(don't get wasted). Take a few breaks if you have to, and dance like no ones watching!
Other than that, I don't have very good advice. Seeing as i'm going to be dateless, I don't plan on going to prom. I don't like most of my classmates so i'm happy about skipping it. Me and my friends are just going to have a little bonfire party and burn all of our math homework lol.

 

[RoarRoarJessesaur]

As an INFP who's been to a few dances (all with ENFx dates, actually!), I would have to say, don't even worry about it. In my experience with other INFPs and with myself, we love to have fun, and it will be easy for you to just go along with the energy at the dance. And if you get tired, just be honest with your date. I told my ENFP date that I would rather sit down and chat with her rather than keep dancing, and she understood - and we ended up having a very funny convo that had to do with unicorns and peaches, and ended up knowing each other a little bit better. Don't even worry about it. Be honest with yourself, let loose, go with the energy.

P.S. I love how you're thinking of your date's wellbeing before yourself. That's very cute of you

 

[Berns321]

*sigh* ooooh I remember my prom...I brought my diary and wrote in the bathroom *typical INFP behavior* xD
BUT ANYWAY....dude

This is the only prom your ever gunna get, your gunna remember this day for years to come....you might not see all those people ever ever again....don't worry about it and have FUN!! DANCE A LOT!!! and be HAPPY
sure your gunna have panicky moments but just close your eyes count to 3 and LEAP into whatever it is your thinking about doing....even if that means dancing by yourself....people will join you..and if not....DANCE ANYWAY xD

 

[Playful Proxy]

Do as the rational ones do: Don't go. You will thank yourself later.