[Maximus in Chains]

Have any of you ever lost the ability to imagine things , to dream, altogether? Lost the ability to make associations between things? Lost the ability to really be what you are? To feel? To have empathy? Lost interest in things?

Cause, see I don't know if I ever was one of you guys "really" or not. Probably was. But as it turns out I'm in a situation now (that quite frankly it doesn't appear I'll ever get out of) where it seems like I'm a zombie of a person. It may seem like I'm alive on the outside, but on the inside I am dead znd I truly to do not overexaggerate.

I get the feeling this can't happen naturally.

My sexuality is also broken. I have no libido.

 

[silverlark]

I'm so sorry. Wanna hold hands? My inner world is getting lighter a little at a time but if you need I can try to share a little...

 

[Maximus in Chains]

I'm so sorry. Wanna hold hands? My inner world is getting lighter a little at a time but if you need I can try to share a little...

Sure go ahead try, and I wish we could hold hands over the internet.

 

[Theodore]

Maybe not what you're going for but I'm accustomed to very rich, vivid, surreal dreams and I've not been having them for the past year or two. They've largely been replaced by dull ones that deal more with prosaic everyday things and people. It's frustrating as my dreams have always been very important to me. Maybe it's a sign that I need to realize that dreamscape in waking life.

 

[infpblog]

Have any of you ever lost the ability to imagine things , to dream, altogether? Lost the ability to make associations between things? Lost the ability to really be what you are? To feel? To have empathy? Lost interest in things?

Cause, see I don't know if I ever was one of you guys "really" or not. Probably was. But as it turns out I'm in a situation now (that quite frankly it doesn't appear I'll ever get out of) where it seems like I'm a zombie of a person. It may seem like I'm alive on the outside, but on the inside I am dead znd I truly to do not overexaggerate.

I get the feeling this can't happen naturally.

My sexuality is also broken. I have no libido.

It comes from intolerance to vulnerability. We numb ourselves. We tell ourselves is better to stop wanting things because wanting leaves us vulnerable and it seems less painful not to want something then to want to want something and not get it.

 

[lightened]

my world "destroys" when something related to my aesthetics is on the verge of being threatened.
i know. it sounds ultra feminine of me..

currently, i am about to go apeshit if i don't find the tool that prevents my pearly straight whites from reforming back into it's current position. it's awfully trivial of me.. but i take my personal aesthetics very very very seriously. physical maintenance is significantly important.

 

[lightened]

if you speak of dreaming, i actually don't have very many dreams.. believe it or not - subconsciously, when i sleep.

 

[Maximus in Chains]

It comes from intolerance to vulnerability. We numb ourselves. We tell stop wanting things because it leaves us vulnerable and it seems less painful not to want something then to want to want something and not get it.

Well... to be honest I've been prescribed antipsychotics and they have been very much the nails in the coffin, to the point where I end up attributing all of it to that. Realistically, though, you're right. Something like that could have happened. I may have idealized not wanting things for the reason you say. I made myself invulnerable certainly that way, and I've lost sight of that part of my past completely. I twisted it so it seemed the other way around. You know what I mean.

 

[kaleidoscope]

It happened around a year ago, when I went through a bunch of traumas I guess, and it certainly affected me. I isolated myself, I had no libido as well, I had no desire to do anything, and my inner world crumbled because I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to dream about.

Anyway, I was able to feel better, through meeting a few people who are now an important part of my life, through allowing myself to open up more and more, allowing myself to be vulnerable because I wanted to, I can't help not to when I am so drawn to someone. That person played a crucial role in helping me heal.

Before that happened though, I was a zombie just like you. My days were the same, repetition, nothing to look forward to. Just sameness. I had bouts of emptiness too. I can relate to how you're feeling, and I'm sorry :sad:

 

[noaydi]

Ive this, its ultra painfull.... For me its called depersonalization disorder... Its like.. heeee, a big hole in my personnality... Ive lost many things from it, and sadly nothing can be done about it. Ive become more passive aggressive and angry from that, like its not a choice but a kind of "the only possibilty to continue to go throught life".
My old, real personnality was far more imaginative, passionated.. I see that like a kind of death.

 

[talvikki]

I can relate. Actually I'm somewhat going through such a phase right now. I'm afraid to feel, I try not to dream so that my hopes don't intervene with 'real life' and I'm afraid of trying to cope alone but still I'm afraid to reach out. And a lot of times I feel really empty. I just stare into the distance and wonder what could wake me up.

The things I've found that help me right now are exercising my muscles and my mind. Sweating and thinking. These are the things that I try to consciously push myself to do. And of course helping others whenever I can.

 

[kaleidoscope]

I can relate. Actually I'm somewhat going through such a phase right now. And a lot of times I feel really empty. I just stare into the distance and wonder what could wake me up.

Same here. I don't know what it is, but I just get these periods of utter and complete emptiness, where I don't feel a thing.
I hate those episodes.

 

[purplewool]

I was once lost it. Due to heart break. Inconclusive heartbreak... messed with my intuition. That was a sucky time. Spent a lot of time laying on my floor, barely doing anything.

 

[Kaspa]

I've had my dreams destroyed. But still even, there has always been this small light of optimism in my life, whatever happens. I've felt deep depths of depression, being in complete poverty where I was not even able to afford for food. Even going on the gates of suicidal thoughts, which I never acted upon. And I'm grateful for that. One of my friends once wondered, that how I can still be optimistic about future when I face shit all the time. Secret? Endure. And by enduring grow strong. Still carried on, no matter what the hell I faced. I'm in a way better situation right now, and happy that I continued my existence no matter what.

You can restore anything in life. You can be happy. Everything is only about a mindset. Happiness is a mindset. In reality, you can do anything you wish. But only if you put your mind on it. You can invent the 21st century's most important invention, if you wish to. It's all about putting your willpower on something you wish to do. And if failures happen, they happen. It's natural course, even Walt Disney got fired because his lack of imagination and J.K Rowling got rejected from 12 publishers before Harry Potter was published.

Carry on, have dreams and do things, and there will be light ahead.

 

[Maximus in Chains]

I've had my dreams destroyed. But still even, there has always been this small light of optimism in my life, whatever happens. I've felt deep depths of depression, being in complete poverty where I was not even able to afford for food. Even going on the gates of suicidal thoughts, which I never acted upon. And I'm grateful for that. One of my friends once wondered, that how I can still be optimistic about future when I face shit all the time. Secret? Endure. And by enduring grow strong. Still carried on, no matter what the hell I faced. I'm in a way better situation right now, and happy that I continued my existence no matter what.

You can restore anything in life. You can be happy. Everything is only about a mindset. Happiness is a mindset. In reality, you can do anything you wish. But only if you put your mind on it. You can invent the 21st century's most important invention, if you wish to. It's all about putting your willpower on something you wish to do. And if failures happen, they happen. It's natural course, even Walt Disney got fired because his lack of imagination and J.K Rowling got rejected from 12 publishers before Harry Potter was published.

Carry on, have dreams and do things, and there will be light ahead.

But I'm on antipsychotics. Believe it or not, it kind of changes it a little. They precipitate misery, emptiness, and despair.

 

[rogozjin]

not sure which category of personality I belong to but I feel the same way maximus does, and for the same reasons.

neuroleptics. hollow, empty, lifeless, translucent, no inner life.

the nightmares are bad too.

 

[Monsieur Melancholy]

I wrote a poem not that long ago called "The Shattered Palace". It's basically a metaphor for how I had a beautiful, well-kept inner world inside me from which I had a great view of the world outside, and how that was all destroyed through the series of events that caused me to fall into depression and anxiety -- and how this metaphorical "palace" was left in ruins and dire need of repair.

 

[snowflower]

hollow, empty, lifeless, translucent, no inner life.

the nightmares are bad too.

That's the worst. Sadly, I can relate.

It was like my world turned black and white, with all the colour draining away.

The best relief I found was forcing myself out of my shell. If you leave yourself alone when your inner world is crumbling, it only makes you over-think and over-feel. And that only makes things worse.
If you have good, close friends who you can trust and can distract you from the pain (instead of forcing you to talk through it), then gradually the colours start to come back. That's what I've found, anyway.

 

[arwen7]

This might be an ignorant question, but is it a matter of finding inspiration again? A muse? To get the inner world up and active?

 

[deepbluewater]

I think I live on inspirations... burts of inspiration in order to be productive either acadmeically or even healthily. If it isn't coming from your environment or there is a lack of it. I usually find some sort of intense encouragement from insightful quotes of famous people or great music.

So yes to activate my inner world again - to restart it... I need some sort of inspiration. My inner world is private though,

The inner passions of some INFPs, might be to advocate for world peace or to ameliorate global poverty.