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Hi guys!
So, I was wondering if any other INFPs are super competitive? I don't mean that I want to be the best in my field or win at games or anything, but in class I am extremely competitive. I'm a media student and we do quizzes all the time in class, and I always work super hard at them because I want to have the highest marks in the class. I have a really bad jealous streak as well and if anyone does end up doing better than me, I get really jealous and almost nasty. I get that these are not your typical INFP traits - we're supposed to be calm and kind and idealistic and whenever I see lists of INFP bad traits it's all "you feel emotions too deeply" or "you're too selfless" but I just have this unquenchable thirst to be as best as I can possibly be. It's not even about being better than anyone else: it's that I know I can be as good as them. i beat myself up for not being as good as other people. Getting a B on a paper is not good enough, it has to be an A. If I do get a B or god forbid, something lower, then I beat myself up and hate myself. I get that I am definitely an unhealthy INFP but I was wondering if anyone else had the same issue?
 

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no :) I can be a little, for fun when playing games etc, but it is mostly just play and pretend. I guess I can feel a little competitive in other situations once in a while too, but my impression is that I am much less so than people in general, I have difficulties really getting the point of watching sports etc, it just isn't in me, that strong passion for beating the other person or team.

But I remember other threads about this, and though I remember it as though it was common to be noncompetitiver, there were some competitive infps there too, so you are not alone.
 

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Sounds more like anxiety based on a powerful personal image, and not simple competitiveness.

True and mere competitiveness has a strong drive and leads to disapointment when the goal is not acchieved, but doesn't have the jealous streak to go with it.
 

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I can get competitive, too. It's not that I hate losing, but more that I will just keep playing until I've won.

Things have settled a bit nowadays, but that urge still tries to push me if I "know" I can do better than others. Whenever a board game was pulled out, I was down -- now I just smile and go "I guess I can play a game or two", as if trying to keep my cool, when really I just want to crush everybody. "Wow, you're really good at this," they say; from which I reply, "Oh, really? Um, thanks," but my inner dialogue is very different.

I think my outer-self is like that because I know what it's like to have crushed pride, and I don't intend to crush that in others. There used to be a time where I would call myself shit and rubbish at things, but I had done that for so long that when I feel thos words coming to the surface, I rephrase them to "I'm not shit. I know I can do better next time".

Hi guys!
I get that these are not your typical INFP traits - we're supposed to be calm and kind and idealistic and whenever I see lists of INFP bad traits it's all "you feel emotions too deeply" or "you're too selfless" but I just have this unquenchable thirst to be as best as I can possibly be.
I don't believe INFPs are 'supposed' to be anything. It annoys me when people say stuff like that, as if not fitting into that checklist makes you a freak, because it makes no sense to me. I find it endearing how you push yourself further, knowing you can do better, because there are thousands of people out there who would quite happily knock that out of you for their own benefit -- beating yourself up and hating yourself might be a bit far; but as long as you know you did your best with the resources available, I don't see why you would get so self-critical. That Bob Dylan quote of yours says a lot.
 

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Personnally I'm not competitive. When I was younger my parents used to sign me up to tournaments to encourage me to do sports because my siblings seemed to enjoy it. But I just didn't enjoy it at all.
I hated having to measure my worth by comparing myself to others, I'd rather play with than against.
But being competitive also pushes you to be the very best and it might make you more assertive?
Anyway there's nothing wrong with being competitive and there's probably more competitive INFPs here. I think @Just Peachy is a black belt in tae kwon do so she might have a competitive streak too! :)
 

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I am quite competitive so you’re not alone:p

I’m not cut throat about it and nor is my competitiveness particularly obvious to others. But academically, I do want to have the highest grades or receive the best feedback, so in a way it ties into my perfectionist tendencies. Even with games I’m participating in, I can be competitive there as well.
I guess that’s partly why teamwork frustrates me because not everyone is going to want to put in their best effort if it doesn’t matter to them and I have to rein in my competitive side then. So I like to work solo so I can be as competitive as I want.
 

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Extremely competitive if the following conditions are met......


  • I do not have to talk or interact with the other players.
  • I do not have to be on some "Team". I hate team sports.
  • As long as I can advance my scores by *playing by myself".


Does it feel good to beat everyone?

Yes.


Also, I never ever competed for a "guy" against another female. The way I see it -- the guy was either going to like me, or they would not. Begging for affection, or competing for another human being.....disgusts me.

I was King Of The Arcade at PerCafe for a year or two. Also Leaderboard champ, but can't find a screenshot of that achievement . I was told by an INTJ "you'll never beat my scores." Of course, I did.

 

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Not to the extent of jealousy or being nasty. I am my own best competitor, so it never reaches a point where I'll take out frustration on others. This mainly applies to school work.

I can be competitive in a game or sports setting to make things fun and entertaining, but after the activity is over, I don't care about the result long enough to gloat or sulk over it. A game is a game, and all emotions stay within that time period for me.

I don't compete in affection either. If I want you, I'll get you, and if you want me, be with me or not. If I have to chase it's obvious you aren't someone I want to be with anyway!
 

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I view competitiveness as a way of idealism expressing itself. If I see something or myself a certain way, then I will push to get there. Then if "winning" is a byproduct of my perfectionism, so be it.

I've never been one to care about winning for the sake of winning though. It has to mean something to me. You're supposed to just want to "do your best" and win for yourself, but truthfully, if it were only for that I wouldn't bother. My ego doesn't really need outside validation. I often like to win so somebody else doesn't. Shrewd of me, maybe, but it's really about not letting power into the wrong hands. Not letting some smug person get validated. Of course, I only take on this attitude when I need to.
 

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Hell yea, like Ricky Bobby said... "If you ain't first, yer last!!"

 
"What does that do, does that blow your mind?? :eek-new: That... just... HAPPENED"

 
  • "All those races I won, that was for you!! I did just like you told me! If ya ain't first, yer last!!"
  • (lost estranged father, who was finally found) "What the hell are you talking about?" :confused3:
  • "Well you told me that day at school, for career day"
  • "... Aww hell Ricky, I was high when I said that!! :Doh: I mean that doesn't make any sense at all! You could be second, you could be third, fourth... hell... you could even be fifth!!"
  • "What are you talking about? I lived my whole life based on that!!! ...Well now what the hell am I supposed to do?"

 
 

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My INFP son is extremely competitive in some games, most especially Settlers of Catan - he will systematically decimate everyone on the board until he wins. And, he usually wins.
 

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I think it depends on whether you are already good in an area or not. At least that's the case for me. If I would be good at classes, like those in school, I would probably be competitive in them, but in grammar school(Germany) I got pretty bad, especially in comparison to the others, so I wasn't very competitive anymore.

The difference is when I really want something, or when I see the possibility to be as good as others. Actually, I never was really good at art until I really wanted to do it in 7th grade. So I practiced a lot and in a few years I became one of the best in art class and many of the other students envied me or felt jeallous when they were originally praised by the teacher but she suddenly praised me :tongue: This made me also very competitive to be good in that subject but as soon as a topic that didn't interest me came up I wasn't very ambitious and didn't care when others were better.
There are also other fields I am very competitive in. Many video games make me just wanting to enjoy them because there is not much improvement you can make as the player. You would only be able to upgrade your character or win by luck and not by your own skills. However, there are some games that really challenge ones own skills and then I am very competitive in them. There is one game I often met with a friend to play it and we always challenged each other. When I lost a round I gave him the impression I was upset but probably it was just the case that I was so serious, thought about tactics and he wanted to erase the bad mood I actually didn't have :D Some other games were pretty similar, as long as I could develop some skill in them and they were the style of gameplay I like.
I also was very competitive in the Judo club. I wanted to fight the others students again and again and again :D Also in sports, personal workouts I want to achieve much, but more on an individual level. I don't compare much there. Also in debates I am ambitious to win. In both areas I would always care that it doesn't affect the relationship I have to the other person though.
 

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Personnally I'm not competitive. When I was younger my parents used to sign me up to tournaments to encourage me to do sports because my siblings seemed to enjoy it. But I just didn't enjoy it at all.
I hated having to measure my worth by comparing myself to others, I'd rather play with than against.
But being competitive also pushes you to be the very best and it might make you more assertive?
Anyway there's nothing wrong with being competitive and there's probably more competitive INFPs here. I think @Just Peachy is a black belt in tae kwon do so she might have a competitive streak too! :)
I also played tennis when I was in school, but I can't say I'm super competitive. I also prefer playing with rather than against. If I achieve something, like winning a competition, it's more about proving to myself, and maybe to others sometimes, that I can rather than beating someone else.
 

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Yeah, there's plenty of competitive INFPs. I'm one of them. Sometimes fiercely so. It's how I've always been. My Enneagram subtype, the Sexual 4, is known in the Enneagram literature for using competition with others as a life strategy. When I want to win, I want to win. I found I've done some of my best work in life when I have a rivalry to participate in, and I'll be honest: when I lose, sometimes I'm sore about it. I don't like that about myself, but I hope that its lessened as I've matured. I certainly want it to lessen.
 

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^this one speaks the truth about himself!

But that's alright, and very much needed. It's very good to be a competitive INFP because—judging by some of the INFP-negative threads that have popped up lately—it's time for INFP work to be recognized as competent and excellent.

I'm not very competitive, and I tend to avoid competitive situations, but I have very high standards for myself. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. And I forgot whose quote I stole, but there it is!
 

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^this one speaks the truth about himself!

But that's alright, and very much needed. It's very good to be a competitive INFP because—judging by some of the INFP-negative threads that have popped up lately—it's time for INFP work to be recognized as competent and excellent.

I'm not very competitive, and I tend to avoid competitive situations, but I have very high standards for myself. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. And I forgot whose quote I stole, but there it is!
I think internal perfectionism/high standards is a better way of ensuring excellence than competitiveness. Competitiveness could theoretically result in a situation where everyone still is producing crap, just that yours is "least crappy". :tongue:

 
That quote "excellence is not an act but a habit" is attributed to Aristotle, but just as in the case of Voltaire's "I don't agree with what you say but I'll defend your right to say it", it's a summation of what Aristotle believed, not a direct quote from him. Proof!
 

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I tend to be competitive when I put my mind to it. I find it fairly healthy. I can learn from others, and I can challenge myself with others.

I think one of the good things about an environment that is both cooperative and also competitive is that people can learn from each other and be receptive to their achievements and strengths, while still attempting to better themselves and perhaps to also achieve something the group can learn from. So it's not really about putting others down as much as challenging one's self and others to do the best each can.

I find competition exhausting, in general, and usually reserve it for a couple things at a time, sometimes just one if any. Art has been one of the most worthwhile to me. I find that I can get 'just enough' mastery by generally being receptive and learning otherwise. But sometimes I really need to push myself to master things others have, and that's where competition is helpful.

So yeah--sometimes I'm competitive and I really enjoy it. Mostly I'm not.
 

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im extremely competitive at mario kart, but if its extremely close id be super happy XD getting decimated hurts, having it be an adrenaline fueled race with a hair breadths difference in victory or loss is much more satisfying.

As an animation student, I like to find someone in the class that has a similar style to me and be the absolute best at it ^3^ I like to use them as a measurement of what I wish to excel past to be marketable in the future, but similarly I only wish them to be successful. Kinda like nintendos ice climbers constantly pulling each other by a tethered rope through to the peak.

In general, I dont want to be the best at animation or digital art anymore. I do want to improve significantly, but I feel the constant comparison is stifling and would be unfulfilling in the end
 

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