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TLDR; I'm organised, unpopular and don't naturally make friends with most people. Relate?


I feel very strongly that I am an ESTP through and through.

However, there are some quirks about me that I've noticed a lot of ESTP's on here don't share as strongly.

For example, I am not a massive socialiser. I like socialising and I've had my fair share at University but I've never been extremely popular. I don't have many friends at all and because of my nature not to make close friends, I've ended up with none left in my home town.

On a similar note, people do not instantly like me. Although I can get on with anyone, they will not come to me and ask me to go out with them. I actually find most people incredibly DULL. I also always get along better with men.

I am not considered 'cool' in any way. Rather, people think I am boring, too serious (I express my opinion too much!) and weird. I'm not boring at all when someone really gets to know me. I feel I even come accross as boring on here, but I'm really not!

Another quirk; I am very organised. It stems from how good ESTP's are at getting things done. I make everything into a system to get things done. Therefore, my bedroom is always organised and relatively tidy etc. HOWEVER, typically, I do not always follow the plan. It's there as guidelines.

On this forum alot of people seem like they excrete 'coolness'. But I do not share this feeling at all (except for being cool in my OWN way, haw haw haw). People would not meet me instantly and think, 'wow, she's so out-there and cool'.

Anyone else feel this?

Note: I am not bothered about the way I am, just wondering if anyone feels that they have specific different quirks too. I am fully aware every ESTP is different.

I would be interested on hearing feedback as to why I may be more inclined in the way that I am.

Thoughts??? Experiences???
 

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I'm incredibly reclusive. I only have a few true friends, the rest are fun to be with but not that important to me. I'm a little hesitant to go out and meet random people because my sense of humor doesn't make the best first impressions and I tend to feel like a monster after I talk to some people. The other day I was in a conversation with some NFJ and I said, "yeah, military pilots get so bored they PRAY to get to blow something up." She gasped, "they... pray? to blow something up?" I just sorta dropped the topic and didn't say anything after that.

But for the most part if I give a firm handshake and an energetic "hello nice to meet you" people usually respond favorably... sometimes I get looks of suspicion as well. After a while I just get tired of taking chances with people and sometimes don't even attempt any sort of social interaction.
 

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Ok, I've got a question: did you grow up in a disciplined environment? Like, did your parents try to control you all the time with stuff like making you get out of bed early, make you clean up your room, or did they just let you do anything you want?
Cause for example me, I'm pretty sure that I'm an ESTP, though sometimes I can be pretty organised and for a long time I wasn't really popular. And I grew up with control freak parents and a lot of discipline, I think it might be the cause. And if I would have been let go when I was small, I'd be a 'real' ESTP.
 

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I was real into the whole organizing and tidying when I was a kid (and natatatalia, my environment wasn't all that disciplined. I cleaned and organized 'cause I wanted to). Grew up, became lazy and now I only organize when I have to.

Didn't have any close friends when I was younger, seemed totally incapable of getting close friends. It was some magic wizard thing I didn't have access to. Again grew up, changed my behavior and now I have a ton of close friends and friends in general.

Have never been called boring, don't think I am and don't think anyone else thinks so either. I've been called "cool" by people but it's not something I care nor worry about.

I'd say stop worrying and just be yourself.
 

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I'm a loner, but that doesn't bother me as long as I have interesting things to do. I'm too rough to "fit in". I'm organised on things that matter (career), I don't care that much to be organised on the rest.
 

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You guys sound like ISTPs when you say your reserved and people don't think your as cool as the stereotypical ESTP.

As for organization, do you do things sort of randomly or not care how somebody does something as long as it gets done? My tool belt is really organized because I get in the zone at work and need to be able to just grab stuff without looking.
 

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I used to type as ISTP. For a little while I had a phase where I was scared of being misjudged and I tried fitting in in high school, cuz I was kind of a wierdo. Eventually I said F*** it and just did whatever the hell I wanted regardless of anyone's expectations. My parents are very controlling. I had low self esteem all through college the end of college, probably because I was surrounded by 6's I wasn't particularly fond of. They'd gossip about me behind my back and never really give me a chance at being their friend except when I had them cornered 1 on 1. Then they simply didn't want anyone to see them with me. Now I'm starting to get back into the groove of being an awesome person. I often avoid socializing with random strangers on the bus because its usually pretty dull but if a conversation starts up and I have something to add I'll go for it.

When I'm scared of being myself, I'm often found to be boring and robotic. I get scared of being myself because I can be pretty blunt and sometimes say things and people give me odd looks.
 

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@Idan of Europa

In your above post you say nothing that suggests you are extroverted.

Especially since you avoid talking to strangers because you think they are dull...an extremely common ISTP behavior.

Don't think you can't be awesome and be an introvert. The majority of introverts are not shy nor scared of being judged, they just enjoy their alone time more than extroverts because it's when they're the most productive and inspired.

If you had said you were really into spending time with people, partying, or socializing, I would be more convinced.
 

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I'm still working on this bro. I was an ISTP for a while, but I don't like it so I'm giving ESTP a shot. I'm a firm believer that people aren't introverts simply because they "hang out inside" a lot. I'm constantly on the phone or on skype with my brothers and friends. If there was an ambivert, I'd be it. Some sort of ASTP. But the only thing I don't have in common with ESTP's is the extrovertedness. Only thing I don't have in common with the ISTP's is the introvertedness.
 

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@Eighty I'm not particularly popular either, I never really was. I also made friends with males a lot easier growing up rather than females. The female friends I do have are unique and not the typical feminine-type that society wants to mold us into. I also believe I come off as cold or awkward to some people. I don't really care to maintain or make connections with people. I've always noticed how classmates or coworkers will all have each others phone numbers but rarely does anyone ever ask for mine. Even when we have exchanged numbers, some people love to text/call, and rarely do I tolerate that. If I contact them, it's with intent to get something done (I think it's extraneous if I don't benefit).

I consider myself asocial, I don't go out every night and party. Even going against all the stereotypes, I'm still an ESTP.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks for the replies :)

I wasn't really getting down about it, just wanted to know if you guys felt so too.

I stumbled accross the ENFP personality today. I couldn't believe how much that personality felt like me as well!

Never thought I'd say this but I'm wondering if I mistyped myself!
 

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Thanks for the replies :)

I wasn't really getting down about it, just wanted to know if you guys felt so too.

I stumbled accross the ENFP personality today. I couldn't believe how much that personality felt like me as well!

Never thought I'd say this but I'm wondering if I mistyped myself!
Introverted feeler wouldn't surprise me at all, ENFP could do as well. Overall, you do seem a lot more emotional than most on this forum.
 

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Introverted feeler wouldn't surprise me at all, ENFP could do as well. Overall, you do seem a lot more emotional than most on this forum.
Ah yes - had a rough year. Perhaps this has lead me to confusion with my type?

It's insightful to hear you find I am more emotional though, it could be that I am and I just don't realise it. I do find I talk about myself far too much on here, sorry about that.

Thanks for your perspective.
 

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Ah yes - had a rough year. Perhaps this has lead me to confusion with my type?

It's insightful to hear you find I am more emotional though, it could be that I am and I just don't realise it. I do find I talk about myself far too much on here, sorry about that.

Thanks for your perspective.
Could be, I know I was überconfused bout mine 'cause I was in a dark place.

and don't worry about it, if we can't talk endlessly about ourselves here, then where?
 

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TLDR; I'm organised, unpopular and don't naturally make friends with most people. Relate?
??
Things need to be simple, open and fully accessible. I will spend time organizing things in my home/work area to be as smooth/efficient as possible. Its important. You dont want to be slowed down by clunk a dunk stuff when working on tasks.

When i look at my dad's backyard filled with plants and inaccessible garage filled with random junk i slap my head "OY! WUT R U THINKING?!"

Popular? Popular in what way? Do i want to be popular ? Who cares . If you are a worthwhile person in some form, people will take notice.

In my perspective, people are almost always going to like me more than i will like them. In my mind i will think other people are idiots or have stupid priorities.

I do not see myself getting married later in life.
 

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I always was "unpopular" except when people got to know me. Nowadays the personality tests always say ESTP and I'm pretty much convinced of it. Ne, Te, Fe and Fi are very variable with my tests, Se+Ti are the ones that are usually highest and Ni is usually really low despite me thinking the most awesome combination would be a perfect mix of Se+Ni (which is like spiritual enlightenment).

Often a tactic I do to mitigate the popularity problem is to make friends with the most popular person, although if the most popular person is also ESTP I find that the hardest to get along with. I think ESTPs are easily spoiled and having a hard life is really what they're made for, so I'm sometimes divided as to whether I'm really lucky or really unlucky.

I guess what's common would be that the most popular person is surprised I started a conversation with them and thinks "OK, I'll give this dud a chance..." and then, usually quite quickly into the conversation, they become surprised at how cool/clever I am and much more tolerant. They often vocalize this to me, for example "wow, you are actually alright!" at which I think, "well, duh!" (but I make sure I try not to convey that in case it ruins it again...).
 
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I think ESTPs are easily spoiled and having a hard life is really what they're made for, so I'm sometimes divided as to whether I'm really lucky or really unlucky.
I agree with the bolded statement. I've been through things that most people my age wouldn't be able to handle. (In fact, my older brother is still not over things that were easy for me to shake off). At the same time, I am stupidly spoiled and am used to getting what I want, when I want. This along with impulsiveness does not exactly make me well-prepared for the future (in others eyes) but I've always managed to successfully get myself out of any situation so I'm not exactly worried. Yet sometimes like you, I wonder if I'm really lucky or really unlucky.
 

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I guess it was Bruce Lee that said "be like water". And when there are social gatherings to attend to that are fun, I'm the typical extrovert, because I like fun. But if I need to be alone, I don't mind creating my own fun. So I can be a recluse, but then I'm a recluse in control. With people you need a community but, you then have to be aware of yourself and others in the community. And I'm not aware. Also, I'm attracted to women,but like others said, I do better making friends with men. I'm not above male bonding.
 

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I've been through things that most people my age wouldn't be able to handle. (In fact, my older brother is still not over things that were easy for me to shake off). At the same time, I am stupidly spoiled and am used to getting what I want, when I want. This along with impulsiveness does not exactly make me well-prepared for the future (in others eyes) but I've always managed to successfully get myself out of any situation so I'm not exactly worried.
This post is so true that I've checked twice if I haven't wrote this.

On the topic depends what you mean by popular. Pretty much I was always a recognized person in my environment, the first to make contact, the one who spoke a little bit with everybody around. Some pleople may not know my name but they know who's about the talk is. But I've never been good at maintaining social circles. I met people, have a bit fun together and forget them usually, rarely asking for someone's number or trying to keep contact for it's own sake. Never have been tidy or organized though.
 
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