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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Example. At my job I sometimes have to use software I am unfamiliar with while customers are watching me. This always makes me extremely nervous and uneasy. Or at school, I prefer to do my homework at home, as opposed to using lab time where there are other students and the teacher in the room, even though this is supposed to be "helpful" because then the teacher is there if we have questions. I really don't like working out my ideas in front of people. Does anyone else experience this?

Exception would be my very close friends. I like to bounce ideas off of and think out loud with them.

I also tend to shy away from input on any of my creative work unless it is from someone I highly respect. Then I will request their input.
 

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I am EXACTLY the same way. I fear my thought process being judged, and found to be slow or at fault. It stems from my intense fear of failure, public and private.
 

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Yes, I also dislike solving problems in front of others. I think I have a non-traditional way of figuring things out. I try to get a general feel of something first (Ne); then I start breaking it down (Ti). I usually obsess over minute details, and I can do that for hours. Of course I don't like doing that with other people around because people generally don't work that way, so I would feel judged.
 

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yeah, same here, I want to double check the facts and figure the solution in private. Then come out with a solution and own those who point out other ways which will fail.
 

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I feel the same way much of the time. Being thought of as incompetent or having my ideas looked down upon or thought as stupid is something that I have a very difficult time with.

For me the best way is to keep the problem in mind, go off to try and figure out some possible solutions, then bring my thoughts on the subject forward after I've done lots of analysis on my own. If the particular problem is something that warrants the input of those I'm around, and if group brainstorming is necessary, then I can problem solve with others. Also, if I'm around people whose thought processes are similar to my own then we can collaborate in an effective manner.
 

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"Lemme go think about it and get back to ya later."

Its hard for me to even think when I have someone staring at me. But I don't care if they think my answer is stupid. Chances are, it isn't and I just haven't explained it well, or they just don't understand. So, I'll tell them I will try to explain later, after I have had time to really think it through.
 

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I used to hate when my math teacher forced us to go up to the board and work on problems I hadn't already figured out. Just -- HUNDREDS of tiny beady little eyes staring at you, waiting for you to mess up...

Of course, if I already knew how to do it, didn't care. More time for me to show of mah genius :tongue:

But even when I'm at home, I'll hide in my room while I'm working, because I don't want people seeing me when I know I can't do a problem. I get really frustrated, and it's like they're invading my privacy.
 

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Sometimes I actually enjoy explaining things to others, but only when I know them - though sometimes just for fun. Making quick connections. In the event that this fails, I would go into Mental Hedgehog Mode, curl into a ball, and roll the fuck away from the embarrassment.

To avoid this, what I do is research things that may or may not be future topics of discussion in class or around people. If I simply don't think my input will be valuable, I stay quiet.
 

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I'm spectacular at improvisation.

I don't speak if the audience isn't mine (i.e. person-person talking excluding me, where I prefer to remain silent), but when it is I can shine. Not always, but can. I'd say most of the time, I shine when the audience is mine.

OK, enough of that.

I generally like to throw in my input where I've already thought things out and know exactly how to respond to almost any question, even if I've never had the question before. My knowledge of a subject is already so badass, it's a win-win situation.

In philosophy class last semester:

"Professor: What about the last scenario? Two homosexuals adopt a child?
Me: We have established that gay people constitute a family, likewise we have established that adoption and single parent households are families, therefore, yes. Two homosexuals adopting a child is a family.
Professor: What about, for instance, nature? In nature, two male animals or two female animals could never have a child.
Me: IN NATURE, animals eat their young!

*entire class laughs*

Professor: Well, yeah, but, what if... well... okay, yeah, let's move on to something else..."


It was at this point I turned around and fist bumped the friend who was sitting behind me.

An interesting note is that I had been called out for having a conversation with the same (ENFJ) friend earlier in the same class. The professor asked what we were talking about back there and why we were pretty much ignoring him and the class discussion. We responded that we were actually talking about the paper we had been given and discussing it amongst ourselves. The professor thought we were lying and had us state our respective positions. We did. The professor said "good work, keep at it." and continued lecturing the class.

:wink:
 

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But even when I'm at home, I'll hide in my room while I'm working, because I don't want people seeing me when I know I can't do a problem. I get really frustrated, and it's like they're invading my privacy.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Now if only my family would understand this! Bleh. :p
 
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Discussion Starter #14
I hate feeling dumb or incompetent in front of others if I can avoid it.
I am EXACTLY the same way. I fear my thought process being judged, and found to be slow or at fault. It stems from my intense fear of failure, public and private.
Yes, I also dislike solving problems in front of others. I think I have a non-traditional way of figuring things out. Of course I don't like doing that with other people around because people generally don't work that way, so I would feel judged.
yeah, same here, I want to double check the facts and figure the solution in private. Then come out with a solution and own those who point out other ways which will fail.
Very much so, mainly because if I mess up, they'll see my incompetence of the subject.
I feel the same way much of the time. Being thought of as incompetent or having my ideas looked down upon or thought as stupid is something that I have a very difficult time with.

I love how many times the word "incompetent" was used. That is exactly how I feel. One of the most embarrassing things to me is having someone else perceive me as incompetent or unintelligent.




Of course, if I already knew how to do it, didn't care. More time for me to show of mah genius :tongue:

But even when I'm at home, I'll hide in my room while I'm working, because I don't want people seeing me when I know I can't do a problem. I get really frustrated, and it's like they're invading my privacy.
Sometimes I actually enjoy explaining things to others, but only when I know them - though sometimes just for fun. Making quick connections. In the event that this fails, I would go into Mental Hedgehog Mode, curl into a ball, and roll the fuck away from the embarrassment.

To avoid this, what I do is research things that may or may not be future topics of discussion in class or around people. If I simply don't think my input will be valuable, I stay quiet.
Yes, exactly. If I feel like I know something, I can get pretty snobby about it. I love explaining my solution and how I got there once I fully understand it. But I can't go through the process in front of people.

I love the term "mental hedgehog mode"! :laughing:

I also stay quiet if I don't feel like I have valuable input. I prefer to quietly observe and then go research by myself until I feel I understand something fully.



I also think this need to "fully understand" everything can be overwhelming, and sometimes makes it easy for me to give up if the subject isn't interesting enough to me.
 
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Maybe you should take time to learn how to have a wise relationship with yourself.
Even if you fail, that doesn't mean that you aren't intelligent.
For INTP, being intelligent is the center of self esteem.
Sometimes, one should learn how to have multiple source of self esteem, not only being smart, but also being nice. (not too nice, got to keep doing sarcastics comments and being competent. )
 

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Example. At my job I sometimes have to use software I am unfamiliar with while customers are watching me. This always makes me extremely nervous and uneasy. Or at school, I prefer to do my homework at home, as opposed to using lab time where there are other students and the teacher in the room, even though this is supposed to be "helpful" because then the teacher is there if we have questions. I really don't like working out my ideas in front of people. Does anyone else experience this?

Exception would be my very close friends. I like to bounce ideas off of and think out loud with them.

I also tend to shy away from input on any of my creative work unless it is from someone I highly respect. Then I will request their input.
It's all so true!

I can't do anything when I know someone's watching. And when I'm making something, I hate to show it to anyone until it's totally finished. This seems to be a common INTP perfectionism thing. It might give people the wrong idea, make them underestimate my skill, if they see the painting/story/essay/math problem/whatever else when it's not done. Perhaps it's because of some belief that everything one makes represents one's self. Even though I'm confident about what I am good at, I feel like I have to prove it to others.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Maybe you should take time to learn how to have a wise relationship with yourself.
Even if you fail, that doesn't mean that you aren't intelligent.
For INTP, being intelligent is the center of self esteem.
Sometimes, one should learn how to have multiple source of self esteem, not only being smart, but also being nice. (not too nice, got to keep doing sarcastics comments and being competent. )

I stared at this for a while. Being intelligent is the center of my self-esteem. Being nice? I can't even imagine deriving any self-worth from being nice. Obviously I am nice, or... at least I'm capable of it. But it doesn't seem relevant at all. It's just manipulating human emotions, which get in the way of everything. Stupid emotions... :tongue:
 

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I don't like doing it in public, either.
If I do, it usually feels like a contest to me, and if I don't "win", I will be upset.
 

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I stared at this for a while. Being intelligent is the center of my self-esteem. Being nice? I can't even imagine deriving any self-worth from being nice. Obviously I am nice, or... at least I'm capable of it. But it doesn't seem relevant at all. It's just manipulating human emotions, which get in the way of everything. Stupid emotions... :tongue:
The problem with emotions is that if you don't master them wisely they will master you to oblivion.
 

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I quite enjoy group problem solving in Maths, but I don't think my teammates like it. I'll either be shouting out my thoughts and interrupting everyone else (because I have to be the smartest and the one who gets it first) or I'll be jumping around possible solutions in my head and not discussing it with anyone. I'm usually 'the brains of the operation', but having people around me who can translate my thoughts really helps.

When I'm not in a team like that, and the people hearing my thoughts aren't translating, but judging, I start to feel uncomfortable. I hate working things out in front of people who aren't my equals and who aren't trying to work out the same problem - when they're just watching me. Oh, and I don't like just working in front of people. I get too distracted by my own thoughts and I come off as an idiot.
 
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