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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Did you figure it out eventually?

Did you need to sleep with a woman to find out if you were or not?

What's your experiences?
 

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been a quiet subject.
I'm a dude.

I have had numerous bi female friends. They said they never had a question in their minds they liked dudes. Somehow along the way they tried kissing a girl, and really liked it.

REALLY LIKED IT.

Has to be the right girl, has to be comfortable. etc.

and for sure it is a continuum - some women like boys lots and girls a little. some women like boys lots and girls lots.

that is what they have told me.
 
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That would be me. I decided fuck all with the labels and I'll like what I like. Toward the end of last year, I developed extremely strong feelings for a girl both emotionally and sexually for the first time in my life, at least consciously. I had a strong emotional attachment to one in the past, but my mind never crossed to the realm of sex. I've found quite a few women very attractive in the past, but did not visualize sex fantasies with them. I always considered myself a straight girl with some flexibility, but now that I've found myself involved with a woman, I'm much more open to the idea of women in general (she is not *just* an exception) and consider myself bi/pan, although predominantly prefer men. I figure if I can have sex with one woman, I can have sex with others (not that I'd want to). It just took me personal experience to open those doors, otherwise I'm not too sure if I would be as aware of my sexuality as I am today.
 

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I toyed with this thought for a while, and at one point it actually got pretty confusing. I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but I'm still a virgin, so who really knows. I'd kind of like to experiment a bit though.
 

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There are times when I wonder about this. I think that I like guys mainly (married to one), thought I feel some attraction towards women. But never tried anything with women, thought I felt that with guys I tend to feel more feminine while with women I might feel more masculine (when it comes to attraction), that I like feeling more feminine so I prefer guys more.
 

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To me, and the LGBT community, bisexual would imply you aren't only sexually attracted but can develop feelings for the same sex as well as the opposite sex.
There's also the possibility of being heteroflexible meaning you are sexually attracted but aren't prone to developing sexual feelings towards the same sex.

For me, I identify with being pansexual. I'm attracted to someone's personality not their gender. I've always known this and was never unsure about it.
 

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I always assumed that I was straight, until I realized that I had fallen in love with my best friend. She told me that we shouldn't be friends anymore because I was "too controlling" (haha, what a joke. I can barely control myself). This affected me on a much deeper level than it should have; obviously, anyone is going to be deeply saddened by the loss of their best friend, but there was a much different competent to it. Previous to this, I had felt sexual attraction to women, but I wrote that off as a normal thing that everyone experiences. Now I felt both things, full force, and realized that I was bisexual. I'm afraid to come out, though.
 

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I believe in person-based attraction and the fluidity of sexuality. I really don’t buy the notion that sexuality is “set in stone” from birth. There is some excellent research to back this up. (Look up Sexual Fluidity by Lisa Diamond if you're curious.) I believe people have the potential to fall in love with someone of any gender, whether or not they realize it. I'm not trying to erase the experiences of people who identify as gay/straight/lesbian, but I do think it's highly unrealistic for anyone to be 100% of anything.

I don’t feel as if my sexuality fits neatly into a label. I knew in early high school that I liked both men and women, before I had dated anyone. I've dated both men and women, and this hasn't changed. Sometimes I lean towards one gender more than the other, and sometimes I like them both equally. It changes. (Funnily enough, when I'm dating a guy, I daydream about being with a girl, and vise versa.) Sexuality is weird, and not everyone fits into neat little categories. Which is why I don't think you need to worry too much about slapping a label on yourself.

Entering into a relationship with someone can help to solidify your feelings about their gender, but be careful not to write off half the population because of one awkward boyfriend or girlfriend you had. There are so many different people out there, and you never know who you may click with. :)
 

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Somehow along the way they tried kissing a girl, and really liked it.

REALLY LIKED IT.
Does it count if they don't want to touch the other girl's boobs, butt, or 'gina?

I thought kissing or just being attracted to appearance is different. I've been attracted to some girls who look like hot guys, or even hot girly guys. (Aww yeah, hot girly guys ftw!) I'd make out with those girls. But I ain't touching :(
 

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Well, generally I still don't know what I am. A mix of asexual/bicurious I guess. I doubt I'll ever figure it out either due to being in a relationship and being so extremely shy... well, everything related to people and anything intimate scares me, so... yeah. Maybe one day though when I lose the shell I refuse to leave x_x
 
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Although I would never ever enter a homosexual relationship (faith issue). But I'm demisexual - I can fall for any person with whom I have deeper emotional connection, especially when I feel particulary messed up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Although I would never ever enter a homosexual relationship (faith issue). But I'm demisexual - I can fall for any person with whom I have deeper emotional connection, especially when I feel particulary messed up.
Faith issue?
Of course, you don't have to explain if you don't want, but I'm interested.
 

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Faith issue?
Of course, you don't have to explain if you don't want, but I'm interested.
As a christian I am not allowed to enter such relationship. In my opinion, as a believer I have to either accept all rules or reject them all and stop being member of Church. I do not acknowlegde attitude : 'I'm believing, but not practising'.
For me it's hard on certain issues, but I prefer live this way and do not complicate things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
As a christian I am not allowed to enter such relationship. In my opinion, as a believer I have to either accept all rules or reject them all and stop being member of Church. I do not acknowlegde attitude : 'I'm believing, but not practising'.
For me it's hard on certain issues, but I prefer live this way and do not complicate things.
I thought they changed the rules on that? I could be wrong, admittedly I know very little about religion.
 

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I toyed with this thought for a while, and at one point it actually got pretty confusing. I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but I'm still a virgin, so who really knows. I'd kind of like to experiment a bit though.
this. so me.
 

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I never had any doubt that I was straight once I realized I wasn't asexual.

I can't speak for anyone else, but my sexuality isn't flexible or fluid. Not only do I feel zero sexual attraction to females -- and, in fact, find them sexually repulsive, no matter how lovely they are or how much I love them as friends -- but I'm not physically attracted to most men, either. And there the correlation between sexual feelings and love is strictly one-way for me, so while love can spring from sexual feelings, the reverse never happens for me, making most of my relationships permanently platonic.

But when I am physically attracted to a man (rather than just finding him sexually tolerable, which was how I felt about my first three relationships, making me fear I was maybe asexual), it's extreme and intense and it completely blindsides me. The first time I experienced it, I was like, "Hmm, okay, then. So I'm not asexual." I was relieved because I wanted that kind of relationship and was starting to fear I wasn't capable of it, that I was going to have to choose between "faking" the sexual side of things like I'd been doing up until that point or foregoing relationships altogether. Both options were depressing.

I've only experienced it a few times in my life, and I'm 37, but those experiences have not only been exclusive to men, but to a very specific "type" of man, so my sexuality is even more rigid than just being exclusively heterosexual would suggest.

So, in summary, my sexual response is as follows:

All women: Yuck *cringe*
Most men: Meh *shrug*
Small percentage of men: Oh, my god, I want to do bad, bad things with you (cue True Blood theme song).

I wish I wasn't this way. Though I can joke around about such things easily (and enjoy it), I do find it hard to really relate to my friends, male and female, when they discuss their sexual lives, and being this way is going to seriously limit my viable options once I'm officially single again. But, for whatever reason, while most of my friends' sexuality seems to be on a sort of "dial," with a great deal of the fluidity that seems prevalent for people, mine seems to be all or nothing, no spectrum and no dial.

It sucks in some ways, but one of the upsides is that I didn't struggle with the same kind of confusion about my sexuality that so many of my friends did, so I'm sincerely grateful for that. My only confusion was whether I was asexual or not, and that question was answered for me early enough in life that it wasn't something I struggled with for all that long.
 
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Well I haven't been sexually with a woman yet, but I do admire and lust after the feminine beauty of a woman ,sometimes when I'm with a very nice and beautiful girl I feel this strong urge to just kiss her with all my passion and do much more with her ,lol but mainly I too like men ,someday I'm going to fulfill all my fantasies for sure :kitteh:.
 
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