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This should be a psychologist's field day. Thanks for reading. Background first:

I had to drop out of college this year for financial aid purposes, and I desperately need to find a full-time job if I want to go back (which I do). At the same time, living with my parents is once again driving me completely insane, and I am really tempted to find a little apartment to rent and move out on my own - the trouble being that if I did so, there's a chance I won't be able to save enough to return to college. It's come to a question of which makes me feel less like a loser - living with my parents at this age, or being a drop-out. I have always had a very clear idea of where I was going with my life, even if I knew it was subject to change. Now for the first time ever, I have no idea.

Sometimes, when I feel directionless or unmotivated (which is 24/7 since I learned I wasn't going back to school), I picture the ideal future me. Competent, authoritative, respectable, and diligent, I can't get her out of the black cape I accidentally put her in when I was a little kid. Everytime I picture my "BA" ideal self, I am wearing a black cape. Now to the dream:

I was in college again; a meek, new transfer student. I was using my backpack from high school and the class room looked more like high school than college, but it was definitely college. There were only a few other students, and when we were ready to start, who was teaching the class but a competent, authoritative, respectable, diligent woman in a black cape? (I didn't recognize her in my dream as my future self. I woke up with the feeling that she was someone I knew in real life, but I couldn't figure out who... when I realized, I literally smacked my forehead).

Anyway she was hard nosed and kinda mean, but I respected her, even liked her. Before saying anything else, she took a bright green board marker (bright green is a color I once referred to as my "motivation" - it makes me feel energetic and active), and scribbled down an extremely long string of numbers and told us to copy it down. When I googled it in my dream, it came up with a listing for a house for rent. I went to check out the house, but it was sitting on a road that looked like a place near somewhere I once lived, where I had very few friends. I turn around and drove back.

After this, I was that same professor's "teacher's aide" for three classes more. In every class, she had me copy an extremely long string of numbers onto the board, each one different for each class. I'm not sure why, but the last one stood out. It started with 3.2463535... and went on and on.

Then I woke up. As soon as I realized what I had just dreamed - being in a college class taught by my symbol of life direction - I knew I wanted and outsider's insights. Anything?
 

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Such an interesting dream! Even though certain times in one's life are stressful and directionless, they're cool because they motivate one's creativity and vivid dreaming. It forces you to grow and to understand yourself better.

I like your dream and the background you provided. I think that the teacher doesn't necessarily represent your future self, but perhaps a prototype of the person you want to be, the person whom you respect and want to emulate. You said that she was a little harsh and cold, but you liked her anyway. It suggests to me that you can appreciate professionalism and a certain level of darkness, even if it is at the expense of some friendliness.

It is interesting that in this dream you have the best of both worlds in comparison with your reality. You are both attending school and you have your own place to live. The fact that this mysterious teacher basically provided you with your place to live suggests that you believe moving to your own place is the thing that your emulated person wants you to do. The fact that this teacher had you write so many strange strings of numbers on the board is interesting because it indicates that she has an ability to discern direction for not just you, but for many people. This is something that would impress you in your current state because you are having trouble with even your own direction. You want to be the person with all the answers and wisdom, and the fact you were her teacher's aide towards the end of the dream means that you were on your way to becoming that teacher, you were the black caped sorcerer's apprentice. You perhaps were learning the art of knowing the answer to everything, to being independent and solid and infallible.

The fact that at the beginning of the dream, you were "in college", but it was more akin to high school, means that you feel like you're slipping backwards, that you are still immature and infantile. You feel like you're not as "grown up". That happens especially when you are living at home. You feel like nothing has changed, even though you are quite fully an adult. The nice thing about this dream is that it has a progressive "upward" direction - you get your own place, and then begin your training to be the person you want to be in the form of being a TA.

Very interesting! I love hearing other people's dreams and trying to come up with reasoning behind them. Maybe I'm off on this one...but if I think of anything else, I'll post again!
 

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Well, first of all, I want to make it very clear that only the dreamer can accurately analyse the dream. So don't expect any insightful answers from me or anybody else who decides to post here. You must find those answers yourself. However, I can give you some general explanations about your dream and you will have to carefully assess and analyse these explanations. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING WE SAY FOR GRANTED! Use introspection to test the explanations we give, ask yourself whether they seem relevant to your thoughts/feelings (or in other words: do our explanations describe the latent contents of your dream).

So here are my first thoughts after reading your dream and it's 'backstory': this future version of yourself is an idealized version of yourself; a projection of what you wish to be in the future. And you 'portray' a past version of yourself in the dream: you were back in college and you were even wearing your backpack from high school! This duality between your ideal future self and your past self usually indicates that you feel as though you are at a crossroads in your life (I have had dreams in which I met a future version of myself at times when I was about to make a 'big leap' in my life too). The bright green color of the board marker could also be seen as a symbol for your youth/past life because green is the color which is usually associated with our earliest childhood memories (example:people who dream about their childhood can dream about a field of green grass on which they play). The numbers themselves could mean anything or maybe nothing in and of themselves; they could also represent the limitless possibilities and choices of the future. This would seem to make sense because you found one of these possibilities (the house) when you googled the numbers. So you googled the possibilities and found one of them in the process. When you visited the house you were confronted with your past and drove away, once again this can indicate your desire to move on with your life and to make a decision.

You becoming the aide of your future self also points to a desire to move on and to identify with your future self. You also seem to have an (unconscious) preferance to go back to college since you drove AWAY from the house and became the teacher's assistent. The simple fact that you envision your future self as a teacher could very well mean that you want to study and become the teacher (of course you might not literally want to become a teacher, but you do want to become a knowledgeable and an authoritative figure because you envision your future self as an authoratitive figure).

This is all I could think of for now...
 

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The black cape.. Black is significant for famine so I would you were hungering to finish school. The green can symbolize life or death. In this case I am saying life and think you are trying to figure out your life. I know... probably not that insightful
 

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I was in college again; a meek, new transfer student. I was using my backpack from high school and the class room looked more like high school than college, but it was definitely college.

Anyway she was hard nosed and kinda mean, but I respected her, even liked her. Before saying anything else, she took a bright green board marker (bright green is a color I once referred to as my "motivation" - it makes me feel energetic and active), and scribbled down an extremely long string of numbers and told us to copy it down. When I googled it in my dream, it came up with a listing for a house for rent. I went to check out the house, but it was sitting on a road that looked like a place near somewhere I once lived, where I had very few friends. I turn around and drove back.


Then I woke up. As soon as I realized what I had just dreamed - being in a college class taught by my symbol of life direction - I knew I wanted and outsider's insights. Anything?
I think the teacher is your goals and you must let the teacher teach you how to reach your goals. She taught you that moving out on your own will only put you back into a place in life that you were not fond of and did not want to be. You turned around and drove back to school so you can learn how to become your goals. You looked up to the teacher in black and liked her. You did not like the house for rent. Your motivation to keep you on the tract to achieving your goals will be to remember you do not want to be in a place where you do not have any friends.

I think the college seemed a little like high school because since you have already lived outside your parents house and are the age of an adult, part of you feels that going to school and living at your parents house is a very young thing to do. It is like being in high school, but the teacher clearly showed you that moving out on your own would only set you back in life. Moral of the story - Stay at your parents house and save up to go back to school. Get it the hell over with, and you will finally have a chance to reach your goals, be happy, and respect yourself. You also said she was very strict or stern in a way but it was good. You need to be strict with yourself and finish school in order to get where you want to be.

I know... I probably sound like your Mom.
 
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