Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
357 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm just getting tired of being tired because of other's issues that are not my own. I have a friend in an emotionally abusive coercive relationship, I'm starting to resent her on some days. I have another friend that ask me for help about everything under the sun. And people I barely will, of course, come up to me to ask for life advice.

I'm always open to being a person who can provide emotional support. I mean, can I get some help too? There is no one out there for me for when I burnout from all this crap.

I don't even know why I wrote this. I just wanted to vent a bit. I guess my meditation didn't help like I thought it would this morning..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
184 Posts
I'm just getting tired of being tired because of other's issues that are not my own. I have a friend in an emotionally abusive coercive relationship, I'm starting to resent her on some days. I have another friend that ask me for help about everything under the sun. And people I barely will, of course, come up to me to ask for life advice.

I'm always open to being a person who can provide emotional support. I mean, can I get some help too? There is no one out there for me for when I burnout from all this crap.

I don't even know why I wrote this. I just wanted to vent a bit. I guess my meditation didn't help like I thought it would this morning..
Yes. This. Yes.
IRL I barely ever speak of my own struggles because others are too busy telling me their crazy, intense problems. Strangers will tell me their life story after 5 minutes of knowing me. Don’t get me wrong, I love people and love to help. But when I’m the one who needs help, it doesn’t seem like there’s any given to me. Why is this???


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
980 Posts
I'm just getting tired of being tired because of other's issues that are not my own. I have a friend in an emotionally abusive coercive relationship, I'm starting to resent her on some days. I have another friend that ask me for help about everything under the sun. And people I barely will, of course, come up to me to ask for life advice.

I'm always open to being a person who can provide emotional support. I mean, can I get some help too? There is no one out there for me for when I burnout from all this crap.



I don't even know why I wrote this. I just wanted to vent a bit. I guess my meditation didn't help like I thought it would this morning..
A common theme for me too.
No friends at the moment so I am free of the free one way advise trip.
I sometimes felt as if I have a sign on my head
saying “come and dump all your life shit here!”
I’ve had that sign since I was about 15 years old and I cannot get it off so I trained to be a therapist instead and get money and recognition for having big ears.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,443 Posts
I'm just getting tired of being tired because of other's issues that are not my own. I have a friend in an emotionally abusive coercive relationship, I'm starting to resent her on some days. I have another friend that ask me for help about everything under the sun. And people I barely will, of course, come up to me to ask for life advice.

I'm always open to being a person who can provide emotional support. I mean, can I get some help too? There is no one out there for me for when I burnout from all this crap.

I don't even know why I wrote this. I just wanted to vent a bit. I guess my meditation didn't help like I thought it would this morning..
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I guess when people brings their problems to me i take it as an honor- they must have trusted me or think that I could help them with their problems- other times ( especially with strangers) I feel that I'm helping them feel better by listening to them vent - I assume they hold a lot of their emotions within and probably share it with me because I seem comforting. Perhaps you should look at it that way :)
I tend to write my feelings out when stressed or take a long walk. Feel better

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,331 Posts
Sounds like you need to draw up some boundaries.

I don't feel this way - I enjoy helping others, never get tired of it - I don't like being helped, myself, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
184 Posts
A common theme for me too.
No friends at the moment so I am free of the free one way advise trip.
I sometimes felt as if I have a sign on my head
saying “come and dump all your life shit here!”
I’ve had that sign since I was about 15 years old and I cannot get it off so I trained to be a therapist instead and get money and recognition for having big ears.
I love that idea! Great way of putting your natural skills to use.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
ISTJ
Joined
·
1,560 Posts
Well, to be honest, it is up to you to help or not. If you help and give, you should not expect anything in return. Or else, it is not from an altruistic origin. There is no point in giving if you expect to receive.

On the other hand, I know how you feel. Sometimes, it sucks to be getting the bad end of the stick. However, it is still ultimately your decision to help. If you are tired of it, don't do it anymore. Give them the cold shoulder. It's all choices we have to live with.

If you choose to continue helping, you should not expect it back, or else, you will be a very miserable person. It only hurts you in the end.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
357 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I guess when people brings their problems to me i take it as an honor- they must have trusted me or think that I could help them with their problems- other times ( especially with strangers) I feel that I'm helping them feel better by listening to them vent - I assume they hold a lot of their emotions within and probably share it with me because I seem comforting. Perhaps you should look at it that way :)
I tend to write my feelings out when stressed or take a long walk. Feel better

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Don't get me wrong, it makes me feel good knowing that people respect so much that they're willing to tell me things and know either a.) I'll have a good soution to their problem or b.) not have one, but be a nonjudgmental ear and c.) keep it between us..

But it's gets to point of where it can get heavy. And sometimes I just need to practice self care.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
357 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Well, to be honest, it is up to you to help or not. If you help and give, you should not expect anything in return. Or else, it is not from an altruistic origin. There is no point in giving if you expect to receive.
I didn't mean it like. Sorry if it read that way. The "can I get some help too" part is suppose to be tongue-in-cheek
 

·
Registered
ISTJ
Joined
·
1,560 Posts
I didn't mean it like. Sorry if it read that way.
No, I didn't read it in that way. Maybe I wrote it in too much of a "problem-solving" way. I'm more likely to offer what I think are solutions when maybe people just needed comfort.

Well, the main point of what I was trying to say is that we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. If we want to be happy, the change should start from within.

Like I said before, I know how you feel because I have been in similar situations. However, I realized that since you cannot change others, you will end up being the miserable one expecting that change from others. The only way to become happy is to try your best to have a "positive" outlook on the situation. In this case, try to just brush it off your shoulder when you are willing to help, even if they don't reciprocate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,443 Posts
Don't get me wrong, it makes me feel good knowing that people respect so much that they're willing to tell me things and know either a.) I'll have a good soution to their problem or b.) not have one, but be a nonjudgmental ear and c.) keep it between us..

But it's gets to point of where it can get heavy. And sometimes I just need to practice self care.
Understandable- if you ever need to vent you can PM me

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
 
  • Like
Reactions: MJC

·
Registered
Joined
·
296 Posts
i'm not the kind who dwells on his feelings, i barely aknowledge them.
When people talk to me about their problems, I feel a bit honored. I mean, I wouldn't tell them my problems that easily. i would keep them for me.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top