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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In many cases career related, it helps to be or at least act extroverted.

It helps to make connections, you never know when you need them.
It helps to find a mentor, someone to help you find the way.
Once a connection is made, it helps to maintain those connections.
It helps to speak your mind in meetings or during projects, you need to be assertive.
Esp. in this economy, it helps to sell yourself well.
One should also go to many events, you don't want to be seen as the unfriendly guy/girl who prefers to just go home after work. This has happened to me before.

All of the things above would come much easier to someone who is extroverted because the introvert after doing one or more of these, would be exhausted (at least I would).

I just find so many of these things draining. Sometimes you have to do a bunch of these in a day too. I had something today, and man was it tiring.

So what do you think? I think I'm going to take a break now.:unsure:

J


EDIT: Forgot to add, I feel like i've botched a lot of these things before. I consider myself introverted AND shy. So many of these things are like pulling teeth for me. As I get older, I can play the part better and I am less afraid to speak up. That doesn't mean I feel any better about it than when I first tried it though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ok, well however you define success for yourself, Anyone ever feel your introversion holds back your "success"?

Better?
 

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Ok, well however you define success for yourself, Anyone ever feel your introversion holds back your "success"?

Better?
Yup, not sure I can give any good example, but yes. And have a job that requires a lot of extroverted behaviour, but I'm also lucky to be in a context with a lot of nice people around me who can give me positive reinforcement as I step outside my comfort zone.

What I would really need to learn in order to move on work-wise is to be more comfortable with speaking in front of groups. And that's a big thing for me, so, well, that's one thing...
 

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It prevents me from being in a limelight so to say. So I guess yes it holds me back in manner of self-advertising. Extraverts usually draw much more attention to themselves. It also makes it easier for them to network with people.

However in manner of getting things done you can be more productive than extraverts and in this way more successful. Introverts strive to obtain in-depth knowledge i.e. become specialists in their subject of interest, and across all professions specialists are valued and paid well.

But if you are worried that it holds you back from being successful, there are books written for introverts by other introverts that go over how to capitalize on one's strengths as an introvert.
 

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I would say having my own world seperates me from others in that I am always laughing at my own world rather than what is going on around me. and people think i am laughing at them... it is very frustrating especially when I uses emotions to communicate. at the same time i keep having these epiphiantic moments aorund people and it just seems weird cause no one else gets why i am laughing.... I would like to laugh freely though...

at least I think I would...
 

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Being an introvert has been a factor in my not being able to get promotions. Because I am one who is very uncomfortable in many social situations I was never able to make the right contacts. I was seen as someone who was not interested in being involved with the work place. I only realized the implications of this after I retired.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Re:

Being an introvert has been a factor in my not being able to get promotions. Because I am one who is very uncomfortable in many social situations I was never able to make the right contacts. I was seen as someone who was not interested in being involved with the work place. I only realized the implications of this after I retired.
This is a fear of mine and something that I've done before. I've tried to act extroverted and on a rare case I have been able to. But it feels so fake and at the end I end up feeling exhausted. It's nice to know other people have had this though.
 

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I think you guys are confusing introversion with lack of social skill.

I have met some introverts with very good people's skills. They are charming and project confidence and people want to be with them. Then I have met introverts who are too much in their own head and insecure, so people don't take to them. I have also met some really annoying, obnoxious and insecure extraverts that other people don't want to be around with. And there are extraverts who are very charismatic as people.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I understand what you're saying, I don't think I am confused though.

My social skills are decent. I believe I am just so introverted that it's hard for me to act the way for a prolonged period of time. I can do it in short spurts but it can't be that often. I've given a great interview before and someone thought I was great. But a while later when asked to participate in social settings I didn't. Not because I didn't have the social skills, but because I immediately felt weary about how much energy I would have to expend.

I immediately thought, wow that sounds tiring! So I didn't go.
 

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Success is subjective.

Well, beyond the basics, I mean.
I agree. It's about how you choose to frame it - I used to think that my introversion was holding me back from "success" but after one point, I started viewing them separately. I started to tell myself, you know what? It's okay to be introverted. Being successful and introverted are two separate things, and they are not exclusive of each other. :laughing: And yes, I do social stuff in sprints, and then I need some time off. And if I am obliged to participate, I first try to refuse and if I can't I join in, but I remain quiet and reserved. I used to think people thought of me weirdly, but I just act confident and people have told me they assumed i was thinking of something "deep." LOL okay, whatever works for them.
 

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It can hold back success , but I've done school plays in front of around 500 people , and played guitar in a living room surrounded by as many as 12 people. If I want to do something then I can pull the drive and focus up from within to do it. I've always been better at small groups and one-on-one communication. Extroversion can be improved upon if you have enough inner desire to express it.

 

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Extroversion can be improved upon if you have enough inner desire to express it.
Very true... The desire and enough energy to expend on it... I get seriously in my social skills set back if I'm tired or feel a bit down.
 

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INFJ's could rule the world if they weren't so gooey soft inside.
 

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Shyness has held me back in the past. I was shy, because I was insecure, and I thought that something was wrong with me.

As for introversion/extroversion, nobody can really tell that I'm not a full-blooded extrovert. I can act as looney as Bugs Bunny sometimes. As far as I'm concerned, because of Fe, I feel that I am both an introvert and an extrovert.

I'm "flipped" from the way many of you are. I (now) think of myself as an extrovert first and an introvert second. I use introversion only to simulate what I am going to do when I extrovert. (I used Ni to write this post in my head first.)

What I do very much struggle with to this day, however, is sensor-type stuff. I get bored with it. Unfortunatley, my grandmother is OCD about cleaning the house, and I often have other things on my mind. I try to help her as much as I can, because I know that she is not really able to do it herself, but it's not "interesting", so it's hard to stay focused on it.
 

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I don't so much think it's my introversion as my shyness that holds me back. I really struggle to make friends, and in the past when I've worked retail, my shyness actually inhibited my work. Being shy is tough. As I get older and see more of the world, I generally feel less shy, but sometimes it comes back and hits me at surprising times. Then it feels like starting from the beginning all over again.
 

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I used to have to give presentations in my last job, and I really hated it! In front of my team - no problems, but in front of 200 strangers - not my kind of fun...

I've found the best way to do it is to team up with someone who is good at doing presentations, and "just" be a part of the discussion and preparation before the presentation is to take place. There actually exist people who just *love* to give presentations (yes, they *do* exist, and yes - they are usually extroverts :tongue:). Teaming up with such people has really been helpful, and they do this thing better than I could ever hope for.

Have I lost job opportunities because of my introversion? Yes. But as years go by, I am very happy for not getting myself into jobs that might have been too draining. I work to live, not the other way around.
 
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