[Leroy]

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the soiconics theory of Duality, the idea that the personality type that opposite of your type with the exception of the P or J should compensate your personalty type like no one else can. For myself being an INFP this would be the ESTP personality type; INFJ-ESTJ; ENFP-ISTP; ENFJ-ISTJ, ect. The theory goes on to say these relationships can go on to create lifelong friendships and romantic relationships. According to socionics (which explains the functions of the 16 types slightly differently) the functions of the dual types perfectly compliment the functions of the dual partner which would allow healthy self exploration.

I personally agree and disagree with certain points of this. I'm pretty much certain that I'll never last in a romantic relationship with an ESTP. I actually have a sister of a friend of this type who has been semi-perusing me for almost 2 years, while I find the idea of a relationship intriguing, I KNOW that it would be a brutal battle that I'd be throwing myself into. That being said, I have been exposed to males of my dual type before in close quarters and it actually seems to work out much friendlier than you would think of two people of our given personalities. It's the kind of thing where it's established that we do have respectable differences, but at the same time as long as we're on the same page, we are absolutely no threat to each other.


Sorry about how long and drawn out this is. I could be completely off this is just me reading about the theory and looking back on past experiences. Anyone else have anything to add?

 

[saccharomyces]

well, if you have had positive experience with estp males, then why do you think you wouldn't last in a romantic relationship with a girl from the type? shouldn't you at least give it a try before writing it off as impossible?
though i have no idea about what a dual relationship feels like, so i can't tell. i still believe that any two types are compatible, it's just that some take more work to maintain the relationship. and, well, from what socionics theory says, once you're in a dual romantic relationship and get close, it should be as easy as breathing, if you're attracted to each other.
heh, why not have an experiment? try dating the girl (or some other of your dual type, if you don't like the particular one), and, well, see what happens, so that you can tell others here later.. like a report or something

 

[Linnifae]

I'm an ENFP with an ISTP and it works. There are misunderstandings here and there, but we have interesting ways of wanting the same things and striving for it in different ways. Our different perspectives mean that we each get a chance to learn a new way of doing things. It can be challenging, but we have strengths the other one doesn't (as well as weakneses) so there's a lot of learning and balance. Though we're both strong Ps. It means that keeping the house tidy is the most challenging aspect of our marriage. I care about it a bit more than he does though, which is actually rather nice, because I don't have to worry about living up to someone else's standards. (Like I did with my J parents)

 

[Mutatio NOmenis]

I do not beleive in socionics or duality at all. Socionics is weird, inconsistent bullshit that is barely related to MBTI. If I was great with ESFP's, then I'd be up to my neck in girls. Don't even try to compare the two systems and don't bring up socionics in relation to MBTI.

 

[fillet]

I'm an INFJ. My dominant function is Ni. I usually connect well with other Ns. I don't think a relationship with an ESTJ would work very well. I work with one and we hang out sometimes after work, but it's always small talk.

We work really well together, better than most other work mates, but I wouldn't want a relationship.

 

[Nasmoe]

I don't really believe in duality. I personally have never really been attracted to my so called duality type which is estp. It may work for some duals though like maybe isfp and entp.

 

[jezroue]

I'm a big fan and believer of the concept but also because I understand it well. It's a relation of Psychological Compatibility. That's what Socionics does. No more, no less. I've had lots of great experiences with my Duals but I don't confuse it as "the one true love" or "lottery jackpot". Too many people make this mistake.

Here's a list of things that you MUST consider aside from Socionic/MBTI theory.

parent-child relationship
hierarchal status
age differences
shared interests and views
social background
inherent psycho-physiological state
partners' current emotional and physical states
group-based relationships
LOVE or Infatuation

taken from:
Limitations of Socionics
Socionics: Dual Relations, Duality, and Dualization

 

[InBetweenWorld]

I'm either an INFP or ENFP and if I had to guess (I'm new at these personality types) I would say my boyfriend is ESTJ. I usually would never be interested in this personality because it thwarts some of my hidden agendas by seeing through my elaborate word art composed of denial, excuses and laxity. He calls it like he sees it and has helped ground me in many ways. He has guided me to look at things more logically and realistically with a firm but tender touch. He has a similar approach and mindset as my father, whom I have always been close with, which I find assuring being that they say girls marry someone like their father. I think it is also worth mentioning that his mother is an artist with her own studio where she paints, draws, and makes fine jewelry to sell and I fall on the artistic side. I'm not sure what he sees in me besides charm, but I certainly feel like he is the other half of my brain and spirit that's been missing all these years. During the first year I would have sudden urges for a bigger better deal and try to leave him, but he never gave up on me. He would selflessly forgive my impulsiveness and patiently help me sort through my emotions and figure out what was really causing my turmoil. He refused to consider that I actually wanted to leave him and after talking things out I realized how right he was. Now our relationship is rapidly moving forward and I love every minute. In almost every deep conversation we have he gives me an "aha" moment. He forces me to consider action and result as opposed to my natural feelings and intentions.

 

[Mei]

I don't believe that it will work. Well, it may work, but it does mean that you will have a different living environment to supports the areas which may be missed from your life ?

I am also an INFP, and I have discovered that my perfect match is supposed to be ENFJ. I totally believe it now, and I can see why. Maybe in the past, I have surrounded myself with a lot of NF, and I have always kind of yearned for more living experiences, and exposure to different types of people, maybe more STJs? However, now that my working environments are mostly of STJ, and also my family are mostly STJs, I absolutely want a partner to be NFJ. Especially if we are to be a life-long couple, without interferences and influences from family members, then I do rather spend time with a NF who cares for my wellbeings.

Maybe it is also the age that I am too, and I think I would want someone who shares the ups and the downs of life. I think I am beginning to understand myself a lot more. The self awareness of youth is almost there, so I guess I am not attracted to my opposite any more. i.e. STJ...

As NFP, of course I want the most idealistic soul mate I can find in this lifetime. I actually remember dreaming about this when I was younger as well, so much that it hurts. Cos I thought I met someone like that... now that I know it could be felt that deeply, I would want it all.

 

[Mei]

I'm either an INFP or ENFP and if I had to guess (I'm new at these personality types) I would say my boyfriend is ESTJ. I usually would never be interested in this personality because it thwarts some of my hidden agendas by seeing through my elaborate word art composed of denial, excuses and laxity. He calls it like he sees it and has helped ground me in many ways. He has guided me to look at things more logically and realistically with a firm but tender touch. He has a similar approach and mindset as my father, whom I have always been close with, which I find assuring being that they say girls marry someone like their father. I think it is also worth mentioning that his mother is an artist with her own studio where she paints, draws, and makes fine jewelry to sell and I fall on the artistic side. I'm not sure what he sees in me besides charm, but I certainly feel like he is the other half of my brain and spirit that's been missing all these years. During the first year I would have sudden urges for a bigger better deal and try to leave him, but he never gave up on me. He would selflessly forgive my impulsiveness and patiently help me sort through my emotions and figure out what was really causing my turmoil. He refused to consider that I actually wanted to leave him and after talking things out I realized how right he was. Now our relationship is rapidly moving forward and I love every minute. In almost every deep conversation we have he gives me an "aha" moment. He forces me to consider action and result as opposed to my natural feelings and intentions.

That's really really cute. You said that you don't know why your bf chose you? Maybe you also remind him of his mother? I found that the classic masculine, feminine couple are probably INFP, ESTJ! I have been brought up with many ESTJ, and because even my mother was probaby ISTJ, and the culture that I was brought up in will not allow xNFP to exist, then this does not work.

I think it's really nice when the guy do listen to you, and also allow you to express yourself wholly, and not be cut throat about your discussion, or ideas. I also once met a designer, who was the same with me too, and I really did not occupy my mind on him at that time, cos as INFP, I had already had an idealistic "the one" in my mind at that time, and I truly regretted my actions then. Cos I think he really was a keeper.

 

[Resolution]

I do not beleive in socionics or duality at all. Socionics is weird, inconsistent bullshit that is barely related to MBTI. If I was great with ESFP's, then I'd be up to my neck in girls. Don't even try to compare the two systems and don't bring up socionics in relation to MBTI.

Mutatio is right.

I'm sure dualities work very well in some instances, but I wouldn't so far as to make it a general rule. My best friend is an INTP... and... well let's say him and ESFPs aren't really attracted to each other. :laughing:

And me an ESTJs? ehhhh....