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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there,

I got a big problem. I am 24. I study math. I am from Germany. I am "afraid of" applying for a job.


This was the long story short.
I had some jobs in craftmanship. But I never ever applied for a job. It was always others who asked me if I wanted to help. And then I "helped" them for some months. I have lots of experience in craftmanship jobs. But I would like to apply for other jobs. But I don't know exactly what "other jobs" mean. I don't know what I want to do because I never tried anything else then craftmanship. I don't know why I hesitate so much. I guess it is because I don't like changes. And right now I don't have financial problems. Well I do, but they are not really urgent. I just don't care. I get off the point.

I want to apply for a job. But I have absolutely no clue which jobs I like and I don't. I never really had adult people I can talk to. My parents didn't care about me. So I have to learn it on my own. What if I apply for a job and I figure out I don't like it? Do I have to stay? How does all this stuff work?

Actually I study math, but only because I can and not because I like it. Generally I don't like lots of theory. I prefer practical work. I like to use my head AND my hands.

Kind regards
Procras
 

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If you are a student, I'd consider talking to your school's career services before applying to any job. They often have the resources for a self-assessment to hone in on your skills & needs, which could facilitate your job exploration strategies. Your school will likely have plenty of volunteering and unpaid practice programs that could offer you insight into available fields and their corresponding job growth, daily responsibilities, and other significant factors that would best align with your interest and personality.


Hesitation is not necessarily detrimental to you at this point. You do not know what you want or how that would tie in to your actual job experiences, so you have plenty to speculate about before mobilization seems the natural response. But I would suggest putting that natural hesitation aside for now and learning as much of yourself as possible. Career research can help you, but you must meet that investigative phase with a very essential subsequent course of experimentation and execution to obtain results.

Best of luck.
 

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If you are a student, I'd consider talking to your school's career services before applying to any job. They often have the resources for a self-assessment to hone in on your skills & needs, which could facilitate your job exploration strategies. Your school will likely have plenty of volunteering and unpaid practice programs that could offer you insight into available fields and their corresponding job growth, daily responsibilities, and other significant factors that would best align with your interest and personality.
LOL, the OP is from Germany. They don't generally have stuff like this and if they do, it's not very good.
@Procras why do you not want to work in craftsmanship? You said you like practical work, so craftsmanship sounds ideal? Do you have a qualification in craftsmanship?
You could find a job where you can apply maths in a more practical way, like accounting or something? But, seeing as this is in Germany, you'd still have to train for 3 years at least.

What do you like doing in your free time?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
@ Dan E:
Working on my application papers right now.

@FlaviaGemina:
I don't have anything to compare, we do have something like that, but indeed I think it is really bad.

I don't want to work in craftsmanship because it is paid very bad. ... Insert lots of blabla here ... divorce ... best friend/girlfriend died ... blabla ... all happening at the ages 8-18. So I never really could explore what I really like. I kinda fell into my shadow INFJ. I really did. I was avoiding every situation that reminds me of anything. As I generally like to be outside. I avoided to be outside and somehow became a "nerd". Loosing myself in maths. In science. To somehow find out why all this happened and to distract myself. I never liked theory, that's why I was doing theory. It wasn't reminding me all the time about all that bad stuff. ... enough blabla ... I hope you get the point.

I don't have a qualification in craftsmanship. Neither has my dad. Maybe that's why the wage was so bad. I bet a good craftsman in a big city can earn lots of money, too. Besides it's not all about the money. The money should just be enough to feed my future family and some nice holidays and of course my hobbies.

What I like doing in my freetime?
I was hiding myself for a very long time playing multiplayer online games. But I didn't really like it. It was just some way to ignore the things I mentioned above. I like to be outside. I like to do. The here and now counts. Action.

I learned a lot from my "INFJ-shadowphase" and all the bad stuff that happened. I saw life from another perspective. Even if it really was the hell for me. I somehow am thankful. This may sound hard. But I am really grateful for that experience.

As you can see I don't like to talk a lot. Just the facts. I would see myself as an ESTP, not an ENTP or anything else. I guess this was all just a stage of becoming my true self again, an ESTP. It was very enriching. But I like to do some productive work now. What do you think about civil engineering?
 

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What do you think about civil engineering?
I don't know enough about it, to judge whether you'd like it or not. What's your gut instinct? Do you feel drawn to it?

If you like being outside, how's about something in tourism to do with nature and sports? Or something to do with the environment where you can be outside but also collect data or build stuff? LOL, I know I'm being a bit vague. I'll come back when I've thought about it some more.
 

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As someone who has failed in initial interviews and sometimes still do, and try to deal with her not too bad but sometimes a bit stressing and inhibiting social anxiety/insecurities, I can tell you that more than often, we are our own harshest critic aand see ourselves worse than we are. While many people actually deal with similar worries too.

But you can change if you do desire so and is persistent. You can still fail and it can feel bad, but each time you do, focus on what you can learn to improve yourself and try it 'till you make it.

Don't be too hard on yourself too. Changes takes time. Start with baby steps first, and allow yourself to heal and relax too. Finding ways to relax and feel good, pamper yourself and hobbies to relief can be very helpful and can boost self worth which boosts confidence.

Again, don't focus on how bad it feels in each failure. Everyone fails, some more than others, but you can choose to improve if you do desire so. Focus on how to improve instead of the spilled milk. We can't change the past but there are present and future.

To find a job you might like, try to list what you might enjoy to do and what you can apply your traits. Then do some research and see how the job opportunities are where you live, as well as opinions in forums by those who worked with those jobs. You'll want to find jobs that have decent conditions and available opportunities.
Also, forget about needing to find your one true passion. Many actually don't have that, and besides, for many people their careers are not the center of their lives as other things like family, friends and hobbies are meaningful too). Also, a career path is not always static and many people can change fields too (I see more and more people changing fields to IT from others for example). It really all depends on what we want to choose based on what are the best opportunities available.

And forget about safe bets. There is no such thing! Each job is a risk as we won't know if the environment is decent, the company is decent, the tasks are decent, the coworkers are decent... Even for people who enjoy certain jobs, sometimes they chose the wrong job and needed to apply elsewhere.

So try to focus on what you want to be and where you want to go, and take baby steps to achieve it. Rome isn't built overnight. Many successful people are not born successful, they have strong will to continue trying despite many failures. I read stuffs about enterpreneurs and many often says that resillience is very important as success is a long path to walk and it's not a breeze.

Lastly, try to find what you can enjoy in life. It's ok to live it the way we want and not chase the glorious success if we are not really inclined to do so. Success is defined by ourselves - if having a simple but enjoyable job and an average life is what you want then why not? Being able to live however we want without worrying what others think is a success. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't know enough about it, to judge whether you'd like it or not. What's your gut instinct? Do you feel drawn to it?

If you like being outside, how's about something in tourism to do with nature and sports? Or something to do with the environment where you can be outside but also collect data or build stuff? LOL, I know I'm being a bit vague. I'll come back when I've thought about it some more.
My gut came up with the idea. But first I should do a practicum (traineeship?). As you can see lastly my head decides.

Tourism does not sound bad. Especially sports. But as a logical person my head tells me I do work to earn money. And I cannot imagine earning lots of money with it. ... I am using many "buts" ... In terms of sports. I love to do sports. But (...) I have been a nerd for a long time. All my muscles disappeared. I am really a skinny guy right now. I do swimming right now to build up more muscles and thanks god I am naturally athletic and building up some muscles "very fast".

...

I guess there are two options: Stick with maths, find some real good hobbies to be able to follow through. Or losing old habits and the idea of a "MINT" job as you say in German. (Technical - Engineering - Math - ...) I am interested a lot in economics. I already had some exams and it felt very easy to learn because I am really interested in it. Actually my major is math and my minor economics. I should have chosen the other way round.

If I won't marry this year and promised my girlfriend I will follow through math (as I studied electrical engineering before with no exam) I just would end math. I would look for a paid study in economics combined with computer science or just economics. We planned to have children in 2-3 years when I finished math.

She is awesome. She is the love of my life. Still I can't tell her how I feel about it. (The first time right now I recogize it is a feeling thing). I feel very very bad with math. I could do it. I am intelligent.

Long story short. I will be asking some civil engineers and people who studied economics+computer science about their education and their job. And some possible employers.

... Collecting data seems very boring. Sorry. Building stuff maybe. Although doing something with the environment sounds very idealistic.


As someone who has failed in initial interviews and sometimes still do, and try to deal with her not too bad but sometimes a bit stressing and inhibiting social anxiety/insecurities, I can tell you that more than often, we are our own harshest critic aand see ourselves worse than we are. While many people actually deal with similar worries too.

But you can change if you do desire so and is persistent. You can still fail and it can feel bad, but each time you do, focus on what you can learn to improve yourself and try it 'till you make it.

Don't be too hard on yourself too. Changes takes time. Start with baby steps first, and allow yourself to heal and relax too. Finding ways to relax and feel good, pamper yourself and hobbies to relief can be very helpful and can boost self worth which boosts confidence.

Again, don't focus on how bad it feels in each failure. Everyone fails, some more than others, but you can choose to improve if you do desire so. Focus on how to improve instead of the spilled milk. We can't change the past but there are present and future.

To find a job you might like, try to list what you might enjoy to do and what you can apply your traits. Then do some research and see how the job opportunities are where you live, as well as opinions in forums by those who worked with those jobs. You'll want to find jobs that have decent conditions and available opportunities.
Also, forget about needing to find your one true passion. Many actually don't have that, and besides, for many people their careers are not the center of their lives as other things like family, friends and hobbies are meaningful too). Also, a career path is not always static and many people can change fields too (I see more and more people changing fields to IT from others for example). It really all depends on what we want to choose based on what are the best opportunities available.

And forget about safe bets. There is no such thing! Each job is a risk as we won't know if the environment is decent, the company is decent, the tasks are decent, the coworkers are decent... Even for people who enjoy certain jobs, sometimes they chose the wrong job and needed to apply elsewhere.

So try to focus on what you want to be and where you want to go, and take baby steps to achieve it. Rome isn't built overnight. Many successful people are not born successful, they have strong will to continue trying despite many failures. I read stuffs about enterpreneurs and many often says that resillience is very important as success is a long path to walk and it's not a breeze.

Lastly, try to find what you can enjoy in life. It's ok to live it the way we want and not chase the glorious success if we are not really inclined to do so. Success is defined by ourselves - if having a simple but enjoyable job and an average life is what you want then why not? Being able to live however we want without worrying what others think is a success. :)
The last paragraph sounds way more like me. I just feel like I have to earn more money than my fiancee. I guess she is seeing it different but of cousre she would enjoy it having more money. She is a person who likes financial safety. I like the risk. I don't need a million on my bank account. If I want to do something I always find a way to do it. The only way to find out how she feels about it is to talk with her. She will be a little bit upset.

But if I get a paid study. I get enough money to feed a family. I will be lees at home. Yes. But that's the way working life looks like. Other people who get a baby also have to work. She is enjoying a lot that I am studying and being at home. But I can't stay at home and earn lots of money. Even with a math study. I don't want to stay at home. She also does not want to stay at home. So why not looking for a baby sitter?
 
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