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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
My godfather introduced me to the Enneagram, he says 3's can never be aggressive or be fighters because of their 9 stress movement. I can't help but notice that some of the 3's in my life aren't always like this. I'm not saying violence is in their nature unlike 8's, 3's have always seemed like gentle people to me, but it seems to me 3's don't always become passive when under stress. Some personal examples:

One of my best friends is a 3, he used to fight when he started high school. I'm not sure why but really I've never asked him, it feels quite personal. He still likes to tell people he's a good fighter.

Another one of my type 3 friends also used to fight a bit and if you insult him or someone close to him he might still go you. I think he doesn't like when people try and stir or insult his image. He also loves to brag and prove his physicality.

Similar to that my dad's close friend is another 3 who fights, admittedly only in his martial arts classes. He loves fighting and loves any action/war movies.

(By fighting I mean both physically and psychologically)

So are 3's always passive under stress? Is my godfather wrong? (I'd love to prove him wrong)
 

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How do you know that these guys aren't 2w3s with a heavy 3 wing that don't want to identify as 2 men? 2w3s become very aggressive under stress like an 8.
 

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Stress and being p*ssed off are two different things.

3's are an aggressive type and they will act like an aggressive type, most of the time. Stress modes usually happen when the person is under an extreme amount of pressure, imo. This is when I can see my 3w2 mother fade out a lot, which is weird.
 

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Like the person above said: one have to separate stressed out and pissed off. They are not the same. If I’m under pressure and feel stressed out why would I fight with people?

In your example it seems that they were pretty young boys and that they got into physical fights?

And one should also sperate being verbally aggressive and picking physical fights. Cause the latter comes down to other things then just type. Personally I’ve never felt a need to get into it physically with people. But I have slammed some walls while experiencing “powerlessness”. feelings of “powerlessness can be pretty overwhelming and will lead to a secondary emotion that is easier to handle like anger.

And 3s can be aggressive. If you also have 8 in your tritype you’re likely to be very assertive.
 

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I am nots sure I am a 3 but I have noticed that I have negative side of 9 and the positive aspects of 6 . I can so relate to some fears of 3
I can also become lethargic when a project has too many obstacles .
 

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One of my best friends is a 3, he used to fight when he started high school. I'm not sure why but really I've never asked him, it feels quite personal. He still likes to tell people he's a good fighter.

Another one of my type 3 friends also used to fight a bit and if you insult him or someone close to him he might still go you. I think he doesn't like when people try and stir or insult his image. He also loves to brag and prove his physicality.

Similar to that my dad's close friend is another 3 who fights, admittedly only in his martial arts classes. He loves fighting and loves any action/war movies.
Besides all the good points made above, remember that 3s are chameleons and will exemplify whatever traits/characteristics are valued by the 3's community. If any of these 3s had an experience in their youth that taught them that fighting/being a good fighter was something of value, then it would make sense for that 3 to fight (and especially to brag about being a good fighter).
 

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For me - it depends on whether I'm feeling confident or not in a stressful situation.
If I'm not feeling confident, I will be passive and exhibit behaviors which seem 9-ish.
If I'm feeling confident, I am assertive - nothing gets in my way. I can power through any shitty obstacles life deals me.
 

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For me - it depends on whether I'm feeling confident or not in a stressful situation.
If I'm not feeling confident, I will be passive and exhibit behaviors which seem 9-ish.
If I'm feeling confident, I am assertive - nothing gets in my way. I can power through any shitty obstacles life deals me.
That is incredibly relateable.

It can depend on how important the situation is to deal with, too. If it's stressful but at least temporarily ignorable, I will probably ignore it and focus my energy somewhere more immediately relevant. If it's something I need to get through in order to get to whatever goal I'm after, I'll probably steamroll through it. If I have been attempting to steamroll with not much progress, I'll get passive until I stop feeling exhausted and/or suss out a better angle to approach it from.
 
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