Are All of You This Crazy?

12751 Views 68 Replies 25 Participants Last post by Shemp, Sep 3, 2011

Tammy

Discussion Starter · Jul 19, 2010

Have an ISTP friend I've known for five years, and I've learned a couple very basic, important things about him:

1.) He is of simple wants and desires.

2.) He cannot be trusted. No matter how pure he WANTS his intentions to be, they are never pure. It is ridiculous how deceitful and manipulative he will be to have his cake and eat it too. When all he has to do is just tell me the truth and I'll accept it, like I've accepted and dealt with his tricky, dirty ways of getting what he wants.

3.) When he is uncomfortable talking about something that is happening, he simply pretends it never happened! And hurts people's feelings by doing so. And could really just care less.

4.) He never knows what he wants. I've come to learn that when he wants something, he wants it THEN. Not later, not yesterday, THEN. The only way to deal with him is to take him day by day.

5.) He describes himself as having periods of 'moodiness'. I think these 'moods' come from holding all of his feelings in and neglecting them rather than dealing with them. He pretty much goes from the most calm, collective person I've ever known, to the most vulnerable piece of mush!

Now tell me, is this typical behavior for an ISTP?!

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Seralya

· #2 · Jul 19, 2010

Tammy said:
Have an ISTP friend I've known for five years, and I've learned a couple very basic, important things about him:

As to your last question, I just tell how well these things fit me, and maybe someone else does, too, and then you can calculate out the typicality.

1.) He is of simple wants and desires.

Usually I just want something that I am not having right now but not knowing what could be it. It's usually something simple, though, as "do something new and interesting".

2.) He cannot be trusted. No matter how pure he WANTS his intentions to be, they are never pure. It is ridiculous how deceitful and manipulative he will be to have his cake and eat it too. When all he has to do is just tell me the truth and I'll accept it, like I've accepted and dealt with his tricky, dirty ways of getting what he wants.

No. I don't fake or manipulate. It's too much effort and I am lazy.

3.) When he is uncomfortable talking about something that is happening, he simply pretends it never happened! And hurts people's feelings by doing so. And could really just care less.

I don't know. Do you mean something he knows that is happening or something you think is happening but he does not? (As in "relationship going bad" kind of stuff that people can have different beliefs of?)

4.) He never knows what he wants. I've come to learn that when he wants something, he wants it THEN. Not later, not yesterday, THEN. The only way to deal with him is to take him day by day.

Yes, day by day is good. How can I know today what I want to do tomorrow?

5.) He describes himself as having periods of 'moodiness'. I think these 'moods' come from holding all of his feelings in and neglecting them rather than dealing with them. He pretty much goes from the most calm, collective person I've ever known, to the most vulnerable piece of mush!

Might be. It's nice to allow oneself a good splash in self-pity every now and then. However, this mainly happens when I am feeling very lonely and bad. I haven't had too many of those after being found by my SO.

Now tell me, is this typical behavior for an ISTP?!

Crazy, yes, but maybe not that crazy. See the first comment.

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Seralya

· #12 · Jul 19, 2010

Tammy said:
For example, over the years we have argued many times, and most of the time it is generally not resolved because he will have an emotional outburst and then completely retreat into himself, so I will just let him go have his time alone to cool off because that's how he deals with things, and when he emerges again nothing is resolved because he pretends like nothing is wrong or ever happened. If I dare bring it up he will just refuse to talk about it by playing dumb.

Ah. Well, I might burst and then cool off, but I am also the one that wants to theoretize and analyze the argument that caused it and find out what happened and why and what people really meant. Once I did it after ten or so years because that was when I figured out what actually had gone wrong.

OktoberSkye had a point there earlier; is this friend of yours really all right in the head department? I automatically read the self-pity-mushiness as the shadow F that can emerge at the times of stress or blueness. It shouldn't be there all the time, though, specially if he's having friends.. Has he always been like this or could there be some kind of depression / stress / whatever syndrome that's eating him?

Edit: .. or that general immaturity AEIOU mentioned?

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Seralya

· #17 · Jul 19, 2010

OctoberSkye said:
He's lucky to have a friend like you, and I think you have the right idea here.

Seconding this.

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Seralya

· #19 · Jul 19, 2010

AEIOU said:
I was thinking maybe he has raging hormones. Does he have a lot of pimples?
Maybe an underlying problem, ADD, ADHD or some other letters of the alphabet?

Every kid has to have letters now.

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Seralya

· #24 · Jul 20, 2010

A depressed ISTP becomes a shadow-form of ENFJ: needs to complain to everyone about everything that's going even slightly badly, understands every statement anyone says wrong in every possible way, most often as a personal attack, in order to get hurt by it.

It's a real pain, I can tell you.

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Seralya

· #46 · Jul 22, 2010

madhatter said:
Oh, I see! Thank you for clarifying. It didn't help that it was 3 in the morning either.

In answer to your query, Tammy: I never thought about it before, but factors like these definitely can affect my mood.

These moods are connected to my senses. I tend to be a little claustrophobic; not panic attacks, but I do not like enclosed spaces. When there is too many people, it's an overload. My space is being invaded, I have to worry about bumping into people, because I'll have to interact if I do. Dim lights and overwhelming smells usually give me a headache, and I don't just get headaches, I get migraines. Or when I'm down at my university, and the classroom has no windows (so it feels like a prison), and it's so freaking hot, because the thermostat is broken and no one has bothered to turn the heat down since the winter.

Or like ThoughtProcess said, I go out into nature with plenty of open space, the smells and sounds and light and the breeze on the skin are all pleasant and it puts me at ease. Familiar settings, like grandma's house, are comforting.

Too many people around me talking about kids and recipes and wallpapers and other unimaginative and boring things make me stressed. Watching stupid-humor like Stan & Laurel, Itchy & Scratchy (or pretty much any (USofAmerican?) show / movie today), where the main character is an idiot at whom everyone is welcomed to laugh, makes me embarrassed. Too dim lights make me sleepy.

I think I am supposed to like physical activities; gotta check that one out again.

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