[Tammy]

Have an ISTP friend I've known for five years, and I've learned a couple very basic, important things about him:

1.) He is of simple wants and desires.

2.) He cannot be trusted. No matter how pure he WANTS his intentions to be, they are never pure. It is ridiculous how deceitful and manipulative he will be to have his cake and eat it too. When all he has to do is just tell me the truth and I'll accept it, like I've accepted and dealt with his tricky, dirty ways of getting what he wants.

3.) When he is uncomfortable talking about something that is happening, he simply pretends it never happened! And hurts people's feelings by doing so. And could really just care less.

4.) He never knows what he wants. I've come to learn that when he wants something, he wants it THEN. Not later, not yesterday, THEN. The only way to deal with him is to take him day by day.

5.) He describes himself as having periods of 'moodiness'. I think these 'moods' come from holding all of his feelings in and neglecting them rather than dealing with them. He pretty much goes from the most calm, collective person I've ever known, to the most vulnerable piece of mush!

Now tell me, is this typical behavior for an ISTP?!

 

[Tammy]

I don't know. Do you mean something he knows that is happening or something you think is happening but he does not? (As in "relationship going bad" kind of stuff that people can have different beliefs of?)

For example, over the years we have argued many times, and most of the time it is generally not resolved because he will have an emotional outburst and then completely retreat into himself, so I will just let him go have his time alone to cool off because that's how he deals with things, and when he emerges again nothing is resolved because he pretends like nothing is wrong or ever happened. If I dare bring it up he will just refuse to talk about it by playing dumb.

 

[Tammy]

I also have the dubious honor of being an instigator. It's the first big word I ever learned...my mom called me that all the time. I would instigate something with my older brother and sister, push their buttons in just the right way. They would retaliate and get in trouble, and I would get off scott-free.

This reminds me of his habits of testing how gulliable people are by making things up to see if they'll believe them. Although I'm not gulliable sometimes I will play along to see where he is going with it. I think that he finds pleasure in having the ability to make people do what he wants, he is very fond of the game Chess. Do you enjoy Chess, Madhatter?

 

[Tammy]

OktoberSkye had a point there earlier; is this friend of yours really all right in the head department? I automatically read the self-pity-mushiness as the shadow F that can emerge at the times of stress or blueness. It shouldn't be there all the time, though, specially if he's having friends.. Has he always been like this or could there be some kind of depression / stress / whatever syndrome that's eating him?

Edit: .. or that general immaturity AEIOU mentioned?

He isn't moody all the time, just at times he gets moody. Recently he's picked up the wonderful habit (sarcastic) of smoking pot to control his so-called 'moodiness'.

To be honest I think it is a mixture of stress and general immaturity.

I really think he is in a bad place right now, and I suppose that's the reason I posted this to see if he was a little off, because recently he had moved back to the CA from TX because his dad punched him. He hasn't explained to me why his dad punched him and exactly how it resulted in him moving back, but I think it's related to an event concerning a gay male who claims that my ISTP friend has slept with him and used him in order to have a place to live, clothes to wear, and someone to pay for his food. The gay male's outburst resulted because my ISTP friend refused to let him say goodbye to him at the airport or something silly like that.

On top of that I believe that one of his parents is going through a second divorce as well. He called out for comfort from me at the time...but I just couldn't get ahold of him in time and he had already gone into his 'I don't care anymore' mode.

I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to my ISTP friend about this...to be honest I really do not know how to bring it up. He should know by now if he's homosexual that I'll still accept him either way. I think he is just confused. About EVERYTHING.

I think I am just going to just keep my eye on him for a while and not intervine and see how he plays out for a bit...and when he needs help I'll be there.

I was mostly concerned about his behavior because he has asked me to be his roomate, but I think I am going to politely decline...for the sake of my sanity.

I've noticed the general portrait of him I have created isn't exactly the greatest, these are more of his bad traits then good. At best he is very inventive, fun and incredibly charming.

 

[Tammy]

I was thinking maybe he has raging hormones. Does he have a lot of pimples?
Maybe an underlying problem, ADD, ADHD or some other letters of the alphabet?

I'm sure if he does it contains every letter of the alphabet.

I blame violent television, video games, and metal music and anything else that can possibly be blammed that isn't poor decision making skills.

 

[Tammy]

His choices of entertainment have little to do with it.

Sorry, you misunderstood. I was being sarcastic and mocking how parents often blame their children's behavioral problems on violent media.

 

[Tammy]

I talked to him today, and he does seem to be feeling down.

I invited him over in a few days for dinner (he likes my cooking) and I was thinking about asking him about how he has been feeling, but I think he'd much rather laugh and have a good time so I am going to rent some funny movies. Any of you guys have a favorite? My goal will be to just make him have a good time.

Is it just him, or are all ISTPs always hungry? He eats...everything and still has an amazing body. Actually, I don't think I've ever met an ISTP who wasn't attractive and didn't have large hands.

 

[Tammy]

If he's down doing something physical and fun will help.

I never get tired of watching Curse of the Black Pearl.

He loves the Pirates of the Caribbean! I completely forgot! Thank you for refreshing my memory ThinkingProcess! That...sounds funny. Hahaha!

And something physical and fun, eh? Like what? Any ideas?

 

[Tammy]

I'm always hungry. I would love if someone cooked for me all the time.

I would cook for you! Well, if I knew you. ISTP seem to be really earthy people who like to have their senses indulged, and I've noticed everytime I've cooked or given an ISTP a massage they are always very appreciate, and it's very sweet.

 

[Tammy]

:happy:

That'll mostly depend on his own interests. I'm always fond of swimming, though.

Well, I have a pool so I'll be sure to ask him if he'd like to go swimming.

 

[Tammy]

I have another question, do settings manipulate ISTPs moods? And if so, what sort of settings bring out what state of mind, or feelings?

 

[Tammy]

Like how some people feel more comfortable in larger or smaller spaces, or how some people feel more comfortable in clean areas rather than messy ones. How an outside setting may make someone happier than an indoor one...etc.