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I'm wondering if 4's are predisposed to being particularly nice to others is public.

I can be, depending on my mood or what I'm thinking. But many times, I can't be bothered with speaking to people, which comes off as anti-social.
 
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I'm super nice. Lol. I've heard it all my life. I didn't used to think I actually was... because I've got a very sharp and rather jaded way of seeing the world, and I don't really do a whole lot to intentionally make other people feel good/comfortable/happy.

But, it's occurring to me lately... I rarely direct a harsh word at anyone, have almost *no* inclination to hurt anyone's feelings, view everyone as an individual and have general positive regard for most people I interact with. I'm very... gentle.

But the funny thing is I don't really take much pride in being a "nice person". I'm more interested in remaining a not-cruel person.
 

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I don't believe 4's are predisposed to be nice or kind to people - if anything it would probably come closer to politeness; the wellness of a 4 individual (see what I did there?) would also play a factor in it as well. If a 4 is particularly healthy, they're more likely to be in tuned with themselves and therefore more adequate in response to worldly affairs. If a 4 is not in tune with themselves, or do not control ground over who they are as a person, they're more likely to come off shaky and troubled to others, maybe even a little nasty.

With type 4 individuals, their identity and sense of self is the core of what puts them together. I believe this is true for all types, but is especially important to Enneagram type 4's. Their core, the fundamental grounding of what makes up who they are, is the base point for how they respond to the world outside of them. If that core is harmonized, then they will see the world in a more harmonized view, and if that core is shaken, then they will see the world in a much more unsettling perspective.
 

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Oh, I would like to add that I don't think my "being nice" really has anything to do with being a Four. At least not in my case. Maybe more to do with being an INFP, if anything, but it's really just kind of my temperament.
 

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What would really define nice?? :O I've never heard from anyone that I am a 'nice' person though, if that helps at all.

On a side note: people have told me that I have either a depressed, angry or bitchy looking default face. '______' *sigh*
 

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Instinctual Variant Stacking may speak most for one's way of distributing one's daily people strategies.

As a 4, I'm soooo, so, soooo...um, hm... I often quietly call myself a "bad person," because I realize I can be demanding in my head. I have ideas of what I like of conventional conduct and compare it to my view of myself. It makes me put on for the sake of appearance. As far as being a 4, I think I have to admit it lacks substance. It's not wanton, but it's mostly to be seen as virtuous, especially by those I respect thru my view of their virtue.

Now, my SOC/SX stacking is the epitome of what makes me a so-called 'people person.' I truly value others, even though I like to be left to my own devices.

Socially I exude a demeanor of cooperation with people, as if to show them how useful I can be, so that I'll be accepted into the community. Communities are safety for me. Not just any. I am selective.

Sexually I'm always closing in on someone to bring them not only into my community, but to screen them for elitist status. The chosen would be my ride-or-die allies; I have a pact with them.

Thus, it's highly important for me to treat general people, as well as my elites, with utmost care. Sometimes I'm incompatible with people, and my kid gloves don't work. I've learned to adapt to that: I will have respect, or we won't be too friendly (there's more 4ness here. keeping up appearances).
 

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@Le9acyMuse's so/sx patterns are ones I have too.

I have the enthusiastic, bubbly, sometimes flirty/flattering ENFP thing going on sometimes, particularly in group settings but also sometimes one-on-one. Depending on how you define "nice," that side of me might qualify, as it's usually about making people laugh/smile/feel comfortable.

If someone I care about is in a funk, I do what I can to bring them out of it. That counts as nice, probably. If the tables are turned and they're not there for me, I hold a grudge, though.

If I'm mad at someone, I don't always consciously realize it. Sometimes I react by being "nice" to them, in an effort to feel like some kind of martyr.

So uh. I guess I'm nice? Depends. I'm certainly not ever trying to tear people down and hurt them.
 

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ENFP sp/sx, I'm not mean. In non-social settings, I'm usually too oblivious to qualify as being nice. In all other situations, yes, I'm nice. Unless of course they don't like me.

This has been happening to me often lately, I've been finding myself in situations where people that I would normally get on with in any other setting see me as an obstacle. I get strangely gleeful at this point and mess with them in ways only an ENFP can. Usually, this means me acting oblivious in specific ways to their animosity. That seems to often be the worst thing you can do to some people. Go figure.

And there are a few people that I don't even feign niceness with. Once again, I'm not mean, but I tend to call out the situation. I have said things like, "I'm sure you'll agree, we'd be better off riding in separate cars", "Everybody thought you were being a dick last night and I agree with them." and "Get your ass out of my view, or I'm going to kick it." These were all to the same person, I was also just tickled on every situation to say those things.
 

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Not very nice... Very, very antisocial. I usually avoid most people...
I just started college and well, I've been quite nice with the people but it takes an effort and I very often want to leave, and do... haha... But I have not given them any reasons to not like me and I really have to prevent that from happening, oh no... Be Nice, naidox... be nicer...

I'm quite unnice with my parents and family lol... Specially my parents.

I try to be nice though, and I don't usually speak my mind even though my stream of consciousness is very similar to Holden Caulfield's the whole time, haha...

When I was more healthy, in a relationship and all... Well, I had my bad moments but I usually was surprised on how nice I was and how much I cared for humanity; not anymore :/ It's incredible how your whole point of view depends on how you feel, at least for us 4s...

Buddhism helps...
 

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Hello there!

I'd say I'm a very nice person haha, and I've always tried not to only to be genuinely polite, but genuinely kind. I love people to pieces. I mean, I don't necessarily show it constantly. I'm not excessive in any way whatsoever...and I don't have Fe as a function, which tends to be more expressive. I think my niceness, as a whole, is more apparent in retrospect, though.

Of course, it varies a little with mood, and I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say it has much to do with me as a type 4. I think it's more of me as an ENFP and just my general person, actually... And my enneagram as a whole. I think the comment on 4s in the healthy range having the capacity to be polite is valid, and I think that that's probably most common for a 4.
 

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I am a really nice guy. But I can be a dick. But most of the time nice. :)

see I made a smiley face, I'm a nice guy.
 

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I am too nice. I try not to make too much eye contact since that + smiling constantly leads too many awkward and unwanted situations. Otherwise I don't really like bothering with most people I just am not good at being rude :/
 

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I sometimes feel like I am too nice and have been told by others that I am too nice. I think if you ask most people who know me, they think that I am nice. But there are times where I can be boiling angry and wishing the other would drop dead (this excludes family and friends though). But hardly anyone notices because I almost NEVER speak up. Even if I am really angry at someone, I can suppress it and come off looking really unaffected (though it surprises me that no one notices how angry I am). I think it is similar to how a 9w1 would look like during conflict. Kind of calm (though my whole body is so tense). The difference though between me as a 4w5 vs a 9w1 though is that internally there is a WAR of emotions inside me and I just let it go at it, while trying to not show it. Whereas with my 9w1 friends, they feel there is just a slight discomfort and they can't pinpoint what is causing it.

But I tend to have a lower threshold for holding in feelings when it comes to my family. And then I feel bad for snapping at a loved one. However, I haven't ever snapped at a friend. So if a friend ever snaps at me, I feel like the relationship is OVER! I tend to give them second chances, but overall I think that relationship is gonna die.

And usually once the angry/bitter feelings have past, I tend to be indifferent to the other person, though I can hold a little grudge. I no longer wish any harm on them, but I'm not really wishing anything good either. haha. And it is almost impossible for me to say something with the intent of being rude or cruel to the other (though I tend to lose this more with my family, which does make me feel really guilty afterwards). I blame my inferior Ti during those cases and perhaps an unhealthy movement to type 1, where I get so stressed that I become hyper critical and intolerant of things that I see as illogical.

But generally I can be a bit of that stereotypical ENFJ image, where I am sociable (but nowhere as sociable as a 2 would be), talkative, and wanting everyone in the room to be happy, even though I will probably be talking to just 1-3 people for the entire time.

And if someone comes to me with their problem they have my full attention and throughout the coming days I will be thinking of them and how to solve their issues, even if I become exhausted and overwhelmed too. Kind of like how a 2 could be like.

Sorry this entry is so full of contrasts! The short answer is Yes, I am a nice person by most standards, but I am not perfect and can get really upset/angry/mean...but usually this results in the silent treatment.
 
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I'm very kind; just don't insult my world view and everything will be just peachy :D No but really, I'm very accommodating, especially toward other kind-hearted people; I don't have much patience for bigots.

But I am guilty of being harsh toward people who refuse to listen to reason. If I have to explain something five times and the person I'm arguing with refuses to look at logic, reason, or even acknowledge any kind of emotion, then I'm inclined to insult the person (in a passive-aggressive fashion, of course; conflict doesn't work well with me.) But then I feel bad for it after cooling down and feel the need to make it up to the person, even though I don't always go through with it, especially if I know I won't ever see the person again. I would think about them at some random time in the future however... I often think about people I only knew for minutes at a time and wonder if they're doing okay. I'm not sure why I care, but I do, if only in the moment.
 
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