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When I'm reading up on the differences between w3 and w5 I can't help but side more with w5. However, I'm pretty charismatic for an INFP and highly enjoy contact with other people. I know I am an Enneageam 4 INFP so that is not my question. Its: Does it automatically mean for an E4 INFP who is social, assertive etc. to be a 4w3? Or does, at the end, all this not have to mean anything and a 4w5 can be just as "out-there" as a 4w3?
 

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MOTM June 2012
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I am biased because I think all INFP Type 4s are pretty charismatic. However I don't think it's type related. There have been type 2s and type 6s who I've always found charming on here. I'm pretty assertive and social myself and I'm a 3. Pretty sure there was also an INFP 7 and 8 on here a while back and they were pretty cool too.


Type 4s tho. <3.
 

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I am a 4w3 and I have been told I am charismatic. I enjoy interacting with people in dosages. My tendency to seek out individuals and initiate hang outs is pretty low though. When I'm around people I just enjoy making them laugh.
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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I notice that fours tend to envy the fours of the other wing....
I too have this perception that 4w3s are more likable and charming and generally less cursed. They seem to have more energy, both for creating and connecting. I know it’s not true...the five wing makes you emotionally stingy because you have a personal myth of not having or being enough. Combine that with a four sense of defectiveness and you tend to withhold from people. I do think it’s sometimes out of spite and other times a more five-wing motivated sense of scarcity within oneself.

I don’t perceive myself as having charisma, but the word does imply a kind of persuasive influence, and I possibly have / am capable of that. People say I can seem confident and engaging “when I want to”, but they don’t realize it doesn’t feel like a choice for me. They think I’m deliberately curmudgeonly and dismissive towards people when I’m reserved. For me it’s energy conservation mode much of the time.
 
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I've no idea what my enneagram is, sigh... I've tried taking the test, reading the descriptions etc it always comes different depending on my mood at the time.
 

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As of now I am sticking with 4w5 tritype 478. I like to think I'm fairly charismatic, when I'm not acting lethargic. But the reasoning is different than what it would for most other personalities. You see, I really do not care to mind most social conventions nor do I choose to discuss your more standard topics. And if I do, it is usually a kooky observation of them or an idea for improvement. I have been told I speak in an odd sort of cadence, with random inflections, tone going up and down. And I can talk a lot when I'm interested, fluctuating from serious to jokey with ease. If I'm going to bother having a conversation, it is going to be somewhat lively. I'm sort of a new flavor you have to develop a taste for. So, whether any of that equals charisma if up for interpretation. I'm not the type of person who attracts people with pure warmth or confidence, nor do I strategically enact what makes people tick. But I do stand out and have an oblivious yet in tuned way about me that fascinates them. I would imagine that versus a 4w3, a 4w5 may be more likely to be plain quirky, polarizing even, than just likeable. But through placing their knowledge and focus on being a captivating figure, I don't see why they couldn't be just as charming.
 

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I too have this perception that 4w3s are more likable and charming and generally less cursed. They seem to have more energy, both for creating and connecting.
I would blame that on biased Enneagram literature. It seemed like from what I read, the 4s and 5s were usually given the least flattering descriptions, whereas the 3s and 7s were given the most flattering ones. Beatrice Chestnut's book is the one I've read most recently and that one has some fix of the problem, aside from the awful Social Four description.

Anyways, plenty of charismatic 4w5s. Johnny Depp, Jeff Buckley, Bob Dylan. T.E. Lawrence if you buy the idea that he's a 4.
 
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