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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Edit: You know what this thread i was not all that good. I kind of typed it up after a very heated argument with my mom. Though I think she seems to be in a loop or something right now. But just ignore this thread I guess.

Though I do want to make a use out of this thread I guess so I have to ask. Do you feel like you would need to control or do something for another person that you would feel it is best for them? Like you think what you do is best for them even if they don't want it.

Also are ENFJs tactless towards love ones?
 

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Discussion Starter #2
One more thing. How do you act towards people you care about compared to people you don't care about? Just kind of curious on that one.
 

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Keep in mind, I can only answer for myself.

Edit: You know what this thread i was not all that good. I kind of typed it up after a very heated argument with my mom.
Shit happens, emotions fly, no worries.

Do you feel like you would need to control or do something for another person that you would feel it is best for them? Like you think what you do is best for them even if they don't want it.
To put it as elegantly as I can, I work for others' best interests, not from my own perception. Unless it's a worst case scenario where their life would otherwise be crippled. Then I'm really on top of that.

Also are ENFJs tactless towards love ones?
Ideally, yes. I mean, who else am I going to fart in front of?

One more thing. How do you act towards people you care about compared to people you don't care about? Just kind of curious on that one.
Kind, polite, tactful. Can range to professional, depending. That's if you're talking about being on neutral terms.
 

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Though I do want to make a use out of this thread I guess so I have to ask. Do you feel like you would need to control or do something for another person that you would feel it is best for them? Like you think what you do is best for them even if they don't want it.

Also are ENFJs tactless towards love ones?
Control or do what 'is best' for others? I would probably put it in a different way but yes. Unfortunately, I can do this from time to time (usually if the person in question is being particularly stubborn). I even used to hide salt from my dad when I was a kid because I thought it was best for him (which it was but he didn't appreciate my efforts to lengthen his existence).

Again, in high school, I reported this kid who my friend sat next to against her wishes (who was irritating her and preventing her from learning but she didn't want to make a fuss about it) to my teacher so she could sit next to me. I don't tend to do this on a large scale though. I also don't tend to do this as much as when I was younger: if I do it its more of a desperate situation. In general, I'd rather persuade people to help themselves out.

The tactless thing I do, do. I like to think of my thoughts and what I say to people as a wall apart in normal social situations, I'll think carefully about what I want to say as not to be rude. When I'm with close friends and family, its more like a semi-permeable membrane. Some stuff I just blurt out because I think its best for them to have an honest opinion. But I still with have some things I will stop myself from saying. This is probably where you get more divide from IXFJs and EXFJs, as because we lead with an extroverted judging function, we can be brutally honest if we believe others will benefit from it.

Towards everyone else I'm pretty polite, I will only be tactless with them in important circumstances.

The stuff I said probably doesn't apply to all of us, but a lot of it is Fe-based so it may apply to a lot. And sorry if I have misused the concept of a semi-permeable membrane in my analogy! :)
 

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Edit: You know what this thread i was not all that good. I kind of typed it up after a very heated argument with my mom. Though I think she seems to be in a loop or something right now. But just ignore this thread I guess.

Though I do want to make a use out of this thread I guess so I have to ask. Do you feel like you would need to control or do something for another person that you would feel it is best for them? Like you think what you do is best for them even if they don't want it.

Also are ENFJs tactless towards love ones?
Son, is that you?
 

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To answer your question: yes, sometimes. Not when a person tells me they don't want it, no, but if they are ambiguous about it, then yeah, I could do something I think would be good for them.
I'm a control freak. I'm working on becoming more relaxed, but I have to see that things will turn out OK without my involvement. Basically, if you want me to stop controlling you, show me that you can handle things on your own.
I have a teenage son, and as he is taking more and more ownership of his affairs, I'm becoming more and more hands off. I like to set the record straight, though, by telling "I'm not going to check on your progress" so that he knows he is on his own.

I'm not sure what you mean by tactless, but I will be less reserved with my loved ones. I will tell them what I think and not dance around the matter. Like when my husband shows me his poetry and I think it's bad, I will say so. If I'm not honest with him, then who will be? I will give my loved ones praise when I think the praise is due, and I do so very often, but if I also reserve the right to tell an inconvenient truth, because I care about them.
 

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I try not to do things for another person, but I do push if I think something needs to be done. For example, if I feel that someone would benefit from therapy, I would give all the reasons why it is a good idea. If they were nervous about calling to make an appointment, I would offer to do it for them. I would be pushy, but I would not pick up the phone and do it without their consent. However, if they were to tell me they weren't ready, I would listen and do my best to be open to what is going on with them. It's not really about control. Its more about wanting to do what is best for the other person.
 

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I love my ENFJ friend to bits. She's very blunt and has a strong personality, which I appreciate.

She has farted in front of me on many occasion and I like that about her. I fart in front of her too. We're both 40.
 
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