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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey fellow ENFP's!

Question for you guys, I have read and heard all this jumbo that we as ENFP's are really good at inferring the hidden meaning behind things. As much as I do think this is true is in certain instances (for me it mostly in regards to understand philosophical and scientific concepts), I find I totally misread situations with other people, mostly I think because I read too much into things!

For example, if I go on a date or piss off a friend or something I read into the situation to the point where I'll convince myself something that is totally not true, like maybe this guy is interested in me when he's not or my friend is mad at me when they're not for reasons X Y and Z. I read into things far beyond the deep all the way into the abyss. People who aren't even close to me have commented on how I try to find too much meaning in things haha

Is this a quality other ENFP's find themselves struggling with!? I feel like its holding me back from properly experiencing my relationships and just leading me to disappointment when I realize people often don't think the same way as me!
 

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I actualy enjoy that aspect. Always have been good in finding deeper meanings something i really enjoy, alright it may be odd depending circumstances and you'll have the urge to share your vieuws whit the world.
This is where it gets tricky though, if you can resist that urge to spread stuff like that you won't get into an akward situation.
But easier said then done for our kind :)
 

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I tend to psychoanalyze a lot to the point where.. living in the moment is something I need to learn to do.. maybe it's a defense mechanism and at the same time Ne working on overdrive. lol
 

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Hey fellow ENFP's!

Question for you guys, I have read and heard all this jumbo that we as ENFP's are really good at inferring the hidden meaning behind things. As much as I do think this is true is in certain instances (for me it mostly in regards to understand philosophical and scientific concepts), I find I totally misread situations with other people, mostly I think because I read too much into things!

For example, if I go on a date or piss off a friend or something I read into the situation to the point where I'll convince myself something that is totally not true, like maybe this guy is interested in me when he's not or my friend is mad at me when they're not for reasons X Y and Z. I read into things far beyond the deep all the way into the abyss. People who aren't even close to me have commented on how I try to find too much meaning in things haha

Is this a quality other ENFP's find themselves struggling with!? I feel like its holding me back from properly experiencing my relationships and just leading me to disappointment when I realize people often don't think the same way as me!
Oh boy do I ever, haha, my mind can be like that crazy person's backyard where they've been constantly digging holes; convinced that there's some aztec treasure buried somewhere in that yard. Unfortunately when I start to worry Ne can be very good at switching to 'now what's WRONG with this picture (even just potentially), so I end up over-analysing like crazy in creating these pictures- on one hand I have anxiety driven 'this is why everything will go wrong and this is what it'll look like' and then on the other hand where I have decent insight 'no wait, hold up, lets look at this realistically' annnnnnnnnnd unfortunately the former wins more than I'd like. So yeah in short I too am a classic over analyser and yeah unfortunately the passive behaviour that results from the struggle seems to really hurt people :/
 

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In others: yes, definitely.
In myself: depends on the day, the mood, the weather, the people around me, ...
 

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I have a huge problem with this when I'm watching a movie--I readily catch the interpersonal stuff and nuance (and often explain it to others), but the foreshadowing and symbolism... Ugh. Sometimes a door is just a door, but I'm always convinced that I'm missing some greater, overarching meaning. If I take the wrong path with this early on, I can end up essentially watching a totally different movie from everyone else.
 

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The difference is rather that this is our focus. By it being our focus, we become good at it, but it takes a matter of experience.

Even though we have a tendency toward intuitive understandings from an early age, we're not born with a magic psychic ability to be right about everything (although it may often seem incredible, even to ourselves..)

It takes trial & error, and experience, to fine tune our intuition.



As a 24 year old, I feel I am good at this yes, and I feel I am much better than the average person.. However, I wasn't as good a few years ago, and I'll probably improve in the future. As a teenager especially, things were changing so fast, new information was coming so fast, that it was difficult to have any concrete sense of what my understanding would be.
 

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Its a double edged sword, I can look deep into things, be very analytical, but then there is the side that looks "too deep" and you miss the "obvious" surface things and simple little truths. It can be a gift in many respects, but also a curse if you have anxiety, self esteem issues and such, as you can start using the ability to look into things negatively rather than letting it be and finding a solution. But at the same time, it can also grant solutions.

An example of this double edged-ness is that I can go really deep into the meanings of things, abstract theories ect, but if someone tells a joke with a simple pun, it can go over my head as im looking too deep into the joke like some sort of complex hidden meaning puzzle, when it was just play on words. So with the experience of my intuition in this regard, it has made me look both like a genius 'and' a retard all at once.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The difference is rather that this is our focus. By it being our focus, we become good at it, but it takes a matter of experience.

Even though we have a tendency toward intuitive understandings from an early age, we're not born with a magic psychic ability to be right about everything (although it may often seem incredible, even to ourselves..)

It takes trial & error, and experience, to fine tune our intuition.



As a 24 year old, I feel I am good at this yes, and I feel I am much better than the average person.. However, I wasn't as good a few years ago, and I'll probably improve in the future. As a teenager especially, things were changing so fast, new information was coming so fast, that it was difficult to have any concrete sense of what my understanding would be.
Very Well put! I totally feel this. Ever since discovering myself as an ENFP I felt like that I have to know everything inherently or I'm not living up to my full potential. My life is very driven by my respect of intuition but I think I put too much faith in my ability a lot of the time which either makes me come across as pretentious or completely insane and rarely actually intuitive (depending on the circumstance of course, this trait helps when writing papers or doing research). Anyways, do you have advice on how to get better at dealing with it and improving the accuracy of ones intuition!?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Its a double edged sword, I can look deep into things, be very analytical, but then there is the side that looks "too deep" and you miss the "obvious" surface things and simple little truths. It can be a gift in many respects, but also a curse if you have anxiety, self esteem issues and such, as you can start using the ability to look into things negatively rather than letting it be and finding a solution. But at the same time, it can also grant solutions.

An example of this double edged-ness is that I can go really deep into the meanings of things, abstract theories ect, but if someone tells a joke with a simple pun, it can go over my head as im looking too deep into the joke like some sort of complex hidden meaning puzzle, when it was just play on words. So with the experience of my intuition in this regard, it has made me look both like a genius 'and' a retard all at once.
Completely agree! I do this all the time with school. I'll write a paper and explain the things people would never have considered, but go over the important contextual aspects and the other thing I said loses significance. I just assume everyone thinks the same way as me. Such is life, guess we just have to train ourselves!
 

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No not quite - I'm pretty good at reading people and situation but then again I spent most of my life introspecting myself as a hobby so perhaps it's experience


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I am quite good at solving problems in life. like...toilet is broken, what to do, need to get something, etc whatever.

when it comes to solving interpersonal problems I am terrible tho haha. that's where my Fe friends help me out!
 

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I went to a bible study where everyone was sensors. The hosts would spend hours figuring out what bible verses went, implications of them, what questions to ask. For most questions I would instantly know what the answer was.

If I had to come up with questions I wouldn't think to ask alot of them as I find them so obvious what verses mean that it wouldn't occur to ask anyone.
 

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I am quite good at solving problems in life. like...toilet is broken, what to do, need to get something, etc whatever.

when it comes to solving interpersonal problems I am terrible tho haha. that's where my Fe friends help me out!
Lol I'm the opposite - interpersonal and intrapersonal things I'm good with - when it comes to practical matters such as fixing things or machinery I'm clueless- hence I married an istp


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Lol I'm the opposite - interpersonal and intrapersonal things I'm good with - when it comes to practical matters such as fixing things or machinery I'm clueless- hence I married an istp


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Haha, how funny!!

Just out of curiosity, what is your Ennegram? (if you know it)
 

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Haha, how funny!!

Just out of curiosity, what is your Ennegram? (if you know it)
I'm a 7w8 u?


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Very Well put! I totally feel this. Ever since discovering myself as an ENFP I felt like that I have to know everything inherently or I'm not living up to my full potential. My life is very driven by my respect of intuition but I think I put too much faith in my ability a lot of the time which either makes me come across as pretentious or completely insane and rarely actually intuitive (depending on the circumstance of course, this trait helps when writing papers or doing research). Anyways, do you have advice on how to get better at dealing with it and improving the accuracy of ones intuition!?
I've just tried to understand when I should acknowledge it and when I shouldn't. It's one of those things- I'll develop an idea of how I should balance my trust in my intuition, and then it will turn out I should be trusting my gut more.. Then you over-adjust, etc. Fine tuning fine tuning- I'm only 24.. It would be arrogant for me to assume I've gotten this down at this point, but I can certainly say that I've improved massively from say.. 6 years ago, so it's just a continual process of refining I guess.

It's essentially just a skill isn't it? Like with any skill, you need a combination of practice and time to improve it.
 

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I can totally relate! No later than yesterday I had a chat with a friend that said that to me that I think too much and I should "do" things instead. I think she has a point.

On a positive note, I feel my intuition is usually quite good especially with people, like I feel when someone is honest or not, when they are fake or not, I can get a good sense of their mood, the issue is the conclusion... I may think a friend in a bad mood is mad at me while stuff may happen in their life.. so the issue here is self centeredness. I have found an exercise that helps when I saw a counselor to deal with anxiety. If you have such situation, write how you feel, how you see the situation and then what could the person think, like how your interpretation could just NOT be true. For example if you think someone is mad at you, try to come up with three other reasons why they would be mad... it helps to get out of your own mind and relax, realize you don't have all the info there.
 

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Yes very much so. Seing patterns can be quite annoying especially if you're into music, films and the arts in general as it loses some of its "magic".

As being stated the biggest problem is digging too deep and end up loosing track of all the practical details. I've tried to be more pragmatic, and I think it helps a lot. If I can't change it, it's better just to accept it or leave it alone.
 
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